I think I resigned my position at work today. I'm not actually sure as it was toward the end of a very heated hour and a half discussion about how they were giving me the shaft. Right now I'm really trying to remember what exactly I said. I know that I eluded to finding another job, but I'm not sure that I quit.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow. If I don't go to work tomorrow then I guess we'll know I didn't.

Oh, and for the readers I have that work at the same place, you're going to be getting the same shaft this summer.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:06 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Sounds like a great excuse to come down here and check out the job market. Hell I might even be able to get you on at my company About as laid back as they come. We don't even HAVE a HR Department anymore We have a "Recruiting and Employee Benefit Department"

Posted by: BloodSpite at February 21, 2008 09:28 AM (pOo0j)

2 Oh crap! Be I see by the post above that all is (relatively) well. Hang in there!

Posted by: Richmond at February 21, 2008 10:11 AM (VW/9d)

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Just once I would love to be able to take some time off of work and not return to a maelstrom of issues. So I took three days off of work to go to Winter Camp. When I returned I was nice and relaxed. Yesterday I spent the day getting caught up on some paperwork for other re-enactments I was planning on doing and some various other issues and no matter what happened, I was cool and collected.

I wasn't at work for more than 30 seconds when one of my people started complaining about what was happening while I was away. They were just the first of a long line of issues that came up while I was away. Apparently when I'm not in the office, people can't make a decision. They hold all the problems and issues until I return and have me fix the situation.

I was gone three days, THREE DAYS, and I had over 600 e-mails at work. When ever management asked for something all of my peers responded with, "I'm not sure, Contagion will do it when he gets back." or my people would respond with, "I'll have to ask Contagion when he returns."

By the end of the day I really wanted to tear my cubicle apart.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:38 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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What the hell is wrong with people these days? When I was growing up, my father told me that if you get paid to do a job, you do your best at it no matter what. IÂ’m trying to install that sense of work ethic into my boys. It just doesnÂ’t seem to be like that for most people. Well most people in my company.

Most of the people there want to know what the company is going to do for them if they do their job. Not if they go above or beyond, but just to do what they were hired for and expected to do. They want things like special certificates for meeting standards, or prizes, or food bought for them or in one person’s words “Paid vacations to someplace exotic” Yea, I kid you not, they wanted the company to buy them an all expense paid trip to Cancun just for meeting standards… to keep their job. They demand incentives and rewards for doing the minimally required for the job.

In other words, their getting a steady paycheck isnÂ’t enough. Now to give you an idea, basic entry for our company is a data-entry position that starts at over $11.35 an hour. With that you get 18 days of Paid Time Off (PTO, which can be used as vacation or sick time), one floating Holiday. Health Insurance, dental, 401K with company match and once a year company bonus if certain goals are met. The insurance while maybe not the best, but still damn good, isnÂ’t badly priced starting at $49 a month for family coverage. Sure our coverage used to be better and prices cheaper, but with the cost of health care itÂ’s still damn good and a might bit better than most out there. As long as you perform to the standard and donÂ’t violate any company policies you will get an annual raise. After five years you get 23 days of PTO, at ten you get 28 days. After five years you have almost 5 weeks of vacation, if you include your floating holiday.

Yet all of that isnÂ’t enough. They continuously want more, Heck these are the same benefits I get. The only difference is that I have to pay more for them because IÂ’m at a higher level of pay. Which is hilarious because everyone in that company thinks that management at my level makes some insanely large amount of money, which isnÂ’t true. In fact I have employees that make more money than I do. The ones that donÂ’t have the potential to make more because they can get overtime, IÂ’m salary. Yet, they donÂ’t feel the company is compensating them enough, they want more.

And when they do get more, they don’t appreciate it. Due to business needs we’ve had a lot of overtime the last three months. We’ve had a lot of people that were coming in on weekends and staying late trying to help us keep up with our customers. The management decided that we were going to do something nice to show appreciation for the employees by cooking breakfast and serving it to them last Saturday. I ran around for two days pricing and buying stuff for breakfast. We served them at their desks Pancakes, Sausages and Orange Juice. Saturday morning I cooked 18 pounds of sausages. I also helped with cooking pancakes. Three weeks in advance we sent out a notice to the employees asking them to fill out an “order form” so we knew how much to buy.

Right off the bat we started getting complaints. “What, no toppings? Can’t you guys get whipped cream and fruit to go on it?” “No Bacon? Can we have bacon instead?” “Can we have French toast instead?” “I’d rather have waffles.” “Can I get eggs instead?” Okay, I can understand some of that, but seriously it’s free food. We were doing it because we wanted to do something nice to say “Thank You.” We choose what we did because it was going to be the fastest, easiest and less messy meal we could make for almost 200 people.

While we were getting ready to cook a person from another department who’s management did their gratitude breakfast the weekend before was complaining that they didn’t come in on that Saturday so he didn’t get anything. The individual then made the comment, “The supervisors should come in every Saturday and cook them breakfast. That’s why they make the big bucks” The individual was rubbing their thumb and first two fingers together in my peers face when they said it. When my peer asked if they were kidding, the response was, “No”. Fortunately I didn’t witness it because I think that would have made me come unhinged.

Then while we were cooking people were complaining on everything from portion size. Three 4-5 inch pancakes, 2 sausage links and a bottle of Sunny Delight. I know itÂ’s not the biggest breakfast but we had a budget and we couldnÂ’t go over. We ended up doing so and I fronted some money out of my own pocket to cover the difference. Some complained about the taste, there wasnÂ’t enough syrup, not enough butter, too greasy, their sausage wasnÂ’t burnt (yes, IÂ’m not kidding. Someone came in and complained that their sausage wasnÂ’t burnt.), they didnÂ’t get their breakfast as soon as they arrived, etc, etc, etc.

There was a ton more today at work of people complaining. I just started to tune it out so I wouldnÂ’t go off on any of the ingrates. Then to make it worse I was in a meeting today where they were talking about the feedback the employees had given on recognition and it was brought up again that multiple employees feel that the management should spend at least $5.00 each week to buy items for their staff. I think that was the last straw for me.

I donÂ’t think IÂ’m going to go out of my way to do anything like this again. IÂ’m done, why should I try to do something nice only to get complained at. ItÂ’s not worth it.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:04 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 You guys are privileged that they chose to work for you. Surely, you could cater to them better. Hell... your breakfast sounds like a damn good meal. Bitchin' about free food. *shaking my head*

Posted by: That 1 Guy at January 28, 2008 08:48 PM (O6lVU)

2 Dude, you're a saint. Speaking of cookouts, are you amenable to coming to Morocco, IN instead of Buffalo range?

Posted by: og at January 28, 2008 09:16 PM (ZR5N4)

3 You should hear of some of the things My wife and her fellow supervisors have heard while working at "Sam Still Lives we are not a Cult" USA and doing the whole be nice to your people thing. Personally I prefer leadership through fear, intimidation and alochol.

Posted by: BloodSpite at January 29, 2008 07:41 AM (pOo0j)

4 Sounds like they thought they were at a Denny's rather than at their desk getting a special treat from the management. Bah. I'm sure most if not all of them still ate it though even in it's non-perfect form, which I suppose in a way is a form of appreciation even if they didn't come right out and say it. Hell, it actually sounds good to me - I'm getting hungry reading your post

Posted by: Shadoglare at January 29, 2008 08:28 AM (m6q/K)

5 Tell those freaking ingrates to come work in Michigan, where the employees kiss managements ass just to keep their measlely, underpaying jobs with no benefits or extra's. When the recession hits the rest of the US maybe people will see how good they have it at their jobs.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at January 29, 2008 08:38 AM (uHRYR)

6 You sure hear the bitching and moaning on the IAFF union boys at my fire station. Us lowly part-timers get paid loads less, no benefits, cut hours and NOTHING from the district for doing the same exact job they do. Yet they complain, whine, piss and moan more than anyone I have ever heard of. You are a saint....

Posted by: P_G_S at January 29, 2008 08:42 AM (xhm5o)

7 I recently entered the office environment and i have to tell you that none of this surprises me. I work for the State of Indiana right now and it just makes my brain hurt. The staff here spends more time discussing their diets and the activities of their respective cats than they do working. Let's take right now for example. I am at work and blogging...not because i am lazy or just choosing not to do my job, but because my boss failed to tell me she wouldn't be here today so i came in and have literally no idea what i am supposed to be doing. After making several inquiries with said staff and finding them to be entirely useless i decided to edit the memo i finished last time...again, blog, and head home. Gotta love efficiency.

Posted by: Sari at January 29, 2008 10:07 AM (YMTtc)

8 You are a SAINT!!! I would've taken the food away from them if they bitched like that. (act like a 3 year old - be treated like a 3 year old!) Good grief I can't believe people. Well, I can, I just don't want to... *sigh*

Posted by: Teresa at January 29, 2008 03:04 PM (rVIv9)

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Blew a gasket at work again. I think I kept it pent up way too long. There has been a series of incidents that really pissed me off, but instead of blowing up, I rolled with the punches and just tried to be a team player. Maybe my personality isn't one that should do stuff like that, or maybe I should try more stress relieving activities. Unfortunately I can't get to the range as often as I liked, even I am starting to worry about my drinking and I think Ktreva is annoyed by how many times a day I try to give her a ride on the ol' love rocket.

Most of the problems started two months ago when I went to Tennessee with Bloodspite. While I was away my peers volunteered my people to handle a project that not only would take forever and a day to complete but would tie up at least 2 people a day, every day until it's finished. Than one of my highest producing employees gave birth taking her out of the office for 2 months. A lot of my people had vacation time making me even more short staffed. We had to give up people to help other areas and there was no one to assist me. There were days that I actually had 3 of the 17 people that work for me working on our daily work.

Then my grandmother died. While I was out of the office then a decision was made that three of my people would assist another arena everyday until they get caught up, be damned what my workload was. Rumor has it that it was stated that the decision was made while I was out of the office because "Contagion wouldn't go for this if he was here." Then they didn't even have the common courtesy or respect to advise me of the situation when I returned. I had to learn it from my employees and when I asked about the plan I was blown off.

Yet, I kept rolling with it and doing my best to keep everyone appraised of my situation and what I'm trying to do to correct it. Right now I'm back logged so badly that I'm in violation of state law and the company is paying fines. No matter what I said, no one else seemed to listen. Until today that is. I finally got them to understand that my unit can't handle everything dumped on them, I can't get assistance for them and I need to start pulling resources back to correct the situation.

Well one of my peers whom had the assistance I was providing pulled got upset and sent me a nasty e-mail stating that I wasn't looking at the big picture and taking care of our customers. The is the peer that had the assistance pulled from my area when my grandmother died.

I came unglued.

I responded with a rather lengthy e-mail explaining how I took offense to what they implied and I felt they were out of line. I explained the entire situation so she could see the big picture. It took me an hour to type it. Not because it's that long but because I had to re-write it three times. I was so mad the first three that it was really nasty and insulting. Even the copy I sent was pretty bad, but I couldn't make it any nicer. I wouldn't make it any nicer.

I'm fully expecting to get called into an office tomorrow, but I'm sticking to my guns. Even after cooling off I still want to go throttle the bitch.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:35 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Here I sit drinking Glogg. Why, well because my meeting today went way longer than I anticipated. It was supposed to last for one hour, but ended up taking up almost two full hours. To be honest it wasnÂ’t as bad as I expected. Mainly because I only walked in there with one sheet of paper and didnÂ’t go into a lot of details. We have all heard the old adage that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Well if youÂ’re a male management in my female dominated office and you are the squeaky wheel, you donÂ’t get the greaseÂ… but you do get hosed. Actually they would probably hammer me until I didnÂ’t move so I couldnÂ’t make any noise. That seems to be the standard operating procedure for this office.

So why did my meeting run two hours if I didn’t talk about anything? Well because we had to “dish about my people”. IE we had to gossip. Any of you that have met me know that I do not gossip. I don’t like it; I’ve severed friendships because of their gossipy behavior. Most of the meeting was me talking about how good of a team I had, all of their strengths, where I want to develop some of them and where our weakness as a team is.

From the serious fishing expedition that was going on, I knew she wanted the dirt. Since I donÂ’t gossip, I donÂ’t have any and on the couple of people I did have something I wouldnÂ’t share it with her. The couple of situations I have my people told me stuff in confidence and IÂ’m not about to sacrifice their trust just so I can win points with the new management. I know my peers did, because they gossip all of the time. In fact the one that was in the meeting right before me I could make out parts of her conversation while I waited outside, she was gossiping like an old woman at a quilting bee.

I figured after maintaining my integrity and dignity for two hours, I deserved a hot beverage of happiness. By the white cockade on my pretty blue bonnet, IÂ’m going to have it!

Posted by: Contagion at 06:50 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 *joins you in glogging*

Posted by: Shadoglare at December 14, 2007 10:24 PM (WlOIU)

2 You don't own a pretty blue bonnet, unless you bought a new one. Quit lying!!!!!

Posted by: Petey at December 14, 2007 10:45 PM (JhiOW)

3 Shadoglare: You don't have any glogg, quit lying! Petey: You know you want to join the pretty blue bonnet brigade with Noah! Stop fooling yourself!

Posted by: ktreva at December 14, 2007 11:29 PM (QQZMi)

4 Actually I do have glogg, thankyouverymuch Mine's store-bought though.

Posted by: Shadoglare at December 15, 2007 09:50 AM (WlOIU)

5 Oh to be a fly on the wall. But after years you know who you can and cant talk to. Sad actually.

Posted by: Bruce at December 15, 2007 04:58 PM (ecH0X)

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Tomorrow at 11:00 I have a meeting with my new manager. She wants to know what all of what my unit and my responsibilities are. I'm supposed to go in there with all kind of documentation and reports regarding my people and including what duties I have that are outside the standard for someone in my position. I do almost three times the amount of work that the other's do. I'm also the one that ends up having to carry the burden for the rest of the unit when something goes wrong. I could use this time to bring that to light...

... or I'll do what I'm planning on doing and not saying a damn thing. See if I actually go into detail I know the answer I'm going to get. In a previous position I had, I reported to this individual. Thus I am familiar with her management style. I know if I say anything, not only will I still not get any support, but I'll be expected to fix the problems that they created by putting me in this situation. Her answer to EVERYTHING is, "How would you change it." So the conversation would go like this:

I get done explaining in great detail my extra duties, finishing with, "I really need some relief and assistance."

Her: If you where in my position, how would you change it?

Me: Well, I'd distribute some of these extra duties to others and on the shared duties I'd make sure they were doing them as they are supposed to and not leaving it up to one person.

Her: So why don't you do that?

Me: Honestly? Because I'm not my peers manager. Thus I can't force them to do some of this stuff. Especially since upper management assigned everything to me.

Her: I'm sure if you talked with them they would be more then willing to help.

Me: I've spoken with them, and asked. They say they will help, but don't do it.

Her: Do you say something to them?

Me: Yes, I've asked why they didn't follow through and they state they forgot or didn't have time. And since it needs to be done today I end up having to do it all. Most of these projects and duties are time sensitive. I can't just leave them to not get done. Especially since it's ultimately my responsibility they get done.

Her: I think this is something you need to work out with your peers.

Me: Okay, I'll do that. (Desperately trying to hide the sarcasm.)

Her: Good, I'd like to see the final proposal on my desk by the end of next week, including any other documentation you might have. And can you please add a 100 page analysis on the efficiency of your proposal.

Me: ... Sure ... (Figuring I won't do it and she'll forget anyway)

The gist of this is that I know I will be wasting an hour of my life tomorrow being told that I need to do more.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:34 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Saturday night I did something IÂ’ve never done before, I went to my companyÂ’s Holiday Party. When I say never, I mean never. Not for this or any company or organization that IÂ’ve worked for have I gone to their Holiday party, and I can pretty much tell you IÂ’m never going to go again. It was a mistake that I shall not make twice.

I should have known the night was going to go bad when we arrived. I had thought it started at 5:00 PM, but it didn’t start until 6:00PM. Fortunately at the hotel they were having the party, there is a decent bar. Ktreva and I spent the first hour and half sitting in the bar priming our livers. It didn’t take long before other people from work started showing up. That’s when I noticed I made my first faux pas. They were all dressed nicely, I was wearing work boots, jeans, a black “Guns don’t kill people, Zombies Kill people” t-shirt, an old flannel and a Packer hat. Not that I cared, I wear a shirt and tie every day; they can see how I normally dress for once.

After 6:00PM we headed into the room were the part was, luckily it was right across the hall from the bar. We quickly found a group of people we know, including Bruce, and sat down. Being the festive kind of guy that I am, I brought along a little cheer. After sitting I pulled out a thermos filled with Glogg. I poured myself a cup and shared some with the rest of the table. Needless to say fifteen minutes later no one was feeling anything. I also was sharing it with people as they passed by. ItÂ’s funny to watch their reaction to drinking it. Actually I received my first two negative reviews of my glogg. That kind of hurts, because I now only have a 99% approval rating.

They served dinner buffet style. After dinner was supposed to be some presentations and awards. Well to be honest IÂ’d had enough of the atmosphere as I could have taken. There were people I didnÂ’t want to talk to coming up and talking to me. So I slipped out the door and headed back to the bar. Only to find my people from work there doing the same thing. Mainly because drinks were cheaper in the bar than in the party room. I sat down with a couple of people that I knew and got along with and started drinking there.

Ktreva had disappeared long before I left. She was quite the social butterfly, probably because she was heavily socially lubricated. In fact I think in the 45 minutes I sat at the table she was there for only 15 minutes. Which was fine by me, as long as she was having fun than I didnÂ’t care. Well that and she didnÂ’t try to make me socialize with people I have no intention of dealing with outside of work. I figured sheÂ’d find me if she needed me.

After a while I decided it was time to leave. Not only was I starting to spout of angry comments at other management and my manager, but also I was starting to get the urge to throw things at them. Now you could say this was because I was socially lubricatedÂ… and I was, slightly, but it was mainly because I was in a very uncomfortable situation. Alcohol doesnÂ’t make you do things you donÂ’t want to do. It lowers your inhibitions to do things that you know are wrong. Thus there are people IÂ’ve wanted to hit in the head at work for a while; I just had a nice heavy beer glass to do it with this time.

Besides me hitting the uncomfortable/angry zone, Ktreva was getting overly flirty with other guys. I needed to save us before one of us did something really stupid.

We ended up leaving and heading down to FritzÂ’s. Why waste a perfectly good babysitter? Plus FritzÂ’s is a happy place where I can be comfortable and happy. We ended up leaving just before close. FritzÂ’s is better than any therapy session.

Today at work I caught an earful about Ktreva and my antics. First off, there were a lot of people that didn’t know I was even there. Since we sat by the door and left right after dinner was done, most of the people didn’t see me. Secondly, there was talk about the glogg. I think next year they are going to have a “don’t bring your own alcohol” rule” Lastly was some of the overheard comments I made to other management, including insinuating one of them was an idiot.

So in recap, going to the company holiday part is a bad idea.

I wont even tell you the reaction I had when other management suggested I help plan it next year.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:54 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Today is boss's day. Typically I don't like getting gifts, it embarrasses me, and my people know this so they leave me out of all the gift exchanges and stuff like that. Today, however, I come back from a meeting and my desk is decorated in balloons and crepe paper. While I was in a meeting they swarmed my desk and decorated it to the hilt. Then they gave me a gift. Of couse now I'm embarrassed and my ears and cheeks are turning red so they are loving it.

They got me a new lunch cooler. The one I had was over 10 years old and looked like I pulled it from the bottom of a lake. In fact I know for a fact that one time I did exactly that after I dropped it while fishing. They got me a brand new, lighter and nicer looking cooler that has all kinds of pockets and compartments for different things.

To make it even better they packed it full of water and carrots. Since that 's mainly what I eat and drink at work is water and carrots. I thought it was a cool Boss's day gift. I think they just liked the facts my ears were red for about two hours.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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ItÂ’s the magical Karma thing. You know, you do something good for someone else and something good happens to you. I went to an off site retreat today for work. I was kind of dreading this, as these things are usually nothing more then how to be more sensitive to your employees crap. As we all know IÂ’m the most farking sensitive arsehole in my company. Thinking that is what this was going to be, I really was not looking forward to it.

It was held at a log lodge owned and operated by the local YMCA. It’s a nice location and I love the atmosphere of the place. The problem is that the heat in there is not exactly the best, but it does have two fireplaces. When I walked in the building had a good chill to it. Outside it was about 45 degrees and inside it was about 55 degrees. Everyone was complaining about the cold. I looked at the fireplace and made the offhand comment, “Well, we could always build a fire.” Our Director (Above manager) emphatically said yes, lets build a fire. Now I was just joking around, I like it cold and thought it was fine in there. But I thought, hey if they want one, I can build it. Then someone stated, “You can’t build a fire, we don’t have any fire starters or newspaper. All we have is wood.” Oh it was on. I’m a re-enactor; if I couldn’t get a fire started then I don’t deserve to call myself a re-enactor.

I look at the wood supply, nothing but big logs. Okay, no problem. I pull out my handy dandy pocketknife and get to work. I peal the bark off some of the logs, scrape the inside and get a nice bundle of fiber. As I was digging through the pile I found a birch log with some bark still on it. Score! This stuff is fire making gold. Then I used my knife to whittle off some smaller kindling and tinder. When I asked if anyone had a lighter, no one did. But they found a book of matches… that had two matches in it. Again I heard, “You’ll never get it started with only two matches and no newspaper or fire starters.”

I scoffed.

I chortled.

Hell, I even giggled.

One match was all it took. I touched the burning match to the bundle I had made and it went up faster then house set to torch in any movie. People actually cooed and awed as the bright glow of warmth spread across the fireplace. They actually took peoples pictures standing around warming themselves by it. I had a lot of people thank me and tell me that I was there hero. These were sincere thanks and actually appreciated what I did.

Then Karma set in. Not only was the retreat anything but sensitivity training, it was actually kind of fun. It got out early and I was able to hit Carlyle Brewing Co. I needed to pick up some growlers of beer to take with down to Fort Obie for my friend Will. When I got there I noticed they had some new beers, including a Walnut Stout. I couldnÂ’t help but to sample a pint. OHÂ… MYÂ… HECK. If you like their regular stout, you should get down to sample one of these before itÂ’s gone, they only ran single batch, but itÂ’s damn good.

It was a good day.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:59 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I was talking to one of my peers at work as we were putting together an appreciation gift for our employees. We were in the middle of it when out of the blue she asks me, "What were you doing Saturday night?" My first thought was, "trying to kill off enough brain cells to not think about this place." But I responded, "Oh, just hanging out with some friends. Why?" She then tells me that she was just curious since I called her.

uh.... what???

Okay, as we all know last Saturday was the BlogCrawl. Which, I would like to personally thank each and everyone of you that participated or stopped by to see what kind of trouble I was getting into. During the time to get drunk phase of the crawl, I was down at Fritz's. After getting a damn good drunk on I decided it was time to start making some drunk calls. Hell, the only time I like talking on the phone is when I'm lit.

I started making my calls and I decided to call Boudicca to say "Hello! I'm drunk!" I picked up my phone looked her up in my directory and made my call. I start talking to her on the other line, only she has no idea who I am. I confirm using her real first name that I am indeed talking to her. And it takes forever to get her to recognize who she is talking to. She then tells me she is heading out with her husband so before I get a chance to pass the phone around to everyone, we hang up. At least five minutes of this conversation was trying to establish my identity.

I was a little hurt that Bou wouldn't recognize me to the fact I left a drunken comment on her blog about her not recognizing me on the phone. But then again I never call her so how would she recognize me. It never occurred to me that I called the wrong person. Because you know there is only one person on the planet that has that very uncommon first name of hers. (note sarcasm)

So now I have to back peddle and try to protect myself. This peer knows nothing about "Contagion" or Miasmatic Review, or the fact that I blog and apparently I made some references to myself that way. Fortunately enough for me, she and her husband were drinking too so she doesn't remember everything, that and because my phone call started a fight between her and her husband. Apparently he is the possessive and jealous type and wanted to know why another guy is calling her on Saturday night.

I guess next time I need to double check who I'm calling before I dial.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:12 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Guh, it was one of those fun days at work. Besides everyone of my football buddies confusing the hell out of me regarding what the plans were this weekend for the games (It's at Bruce's, no it's at Bob's, It's at Bruce's, Bruce has to spend time with his kid, so it's at Bob's.... etc), I also had to have one of those meetings. Actually I ended up having two of them.

You know what I mean by those meetings. Yea, the "Can I see you in my office, please close the door." meetings.

The first one was because of something I did. I guess my disgruntledness was getting the better of my tact filter in my brain and I slipped into old time Contagion. Not the "You're a farking Idiot" guy, but the one that would say things like, "You have no clue what you're talking about do you?" I guess it just irritated me that someone was preaching to me about inventory management when A) It's what I used to do for years and at one point they corporation modeled the position off of my style and B) It's from someone that has no clue about inventory management other then saying, "The inventory is too high!" Well no shite, anyone that can do basic math could figure that out. It was a fun two hour meeting.

The second one was because one of my employees did something that they really ought not to have done. I mean on a serious level. I had to get a private room for feedback and get everyone's sides of the stories and try to alleviate the situation. That was good hour long meeting that I think will result in another one tomorrow.

So from today I think I'll be seeing sensitivity class again. Or they could fire me... I don't think I'd get that lucky.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:53 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I'm back from my retreat. God that was awfully boring, especially since most of the stuff they covered we covered at the Conference I went to in August and other meetings I've attended in the last three months.

I'd tell you more about it, but I really need a beer right now. For the beer review that is... yeah for the beer review.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Work is sending me off on another retreat. No, this one is not sensitivity class. What burns me about this whole thing is that again I asked "Do I have to go?" Because I have a lot of stuff going on at work, at home and with my health I didn't feel that two extra days out of the office would do me any good. In their infinite wisdom it was decreed that this, indeed, was a mandatory event and I have to go.

So last week I'm finishing up details and seeing who else is going from my office so we can carpool or what not. They have 8 of these seminars going on through out the year, so the sups attending were spread out. Come to find out that no one else from my office is attending this one. Even the ones that were assigned to go at this time aren't going. It seems that they weren't able to register, so they aren't going.

In fact most of the other management in the office is not attending. Needless to say this rather irritates me because if I had known that if I just held off registering for this and waited too long, that I wouldn't have to go.

This double standard at work is really starting to piss me off.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:55 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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My employees had a potluck as part of a baby shower for one of my people. The tables with all the food were set up around my desk, because thatÂ’s where they had room for it. It was chuck full with all kinds of food I like. Fried Chicken (CanÂ’t eat), Potato Salad (canÂ’t eat), Pasta Salad (CanÂ’t eat), Chicken Salad (canÂ’t eat), Cake (CanÂ’t Eat), Chocolate Pie (CanÂ’t eat) and on and on. The only things I can eat are the raw vegetables tray and whole grain rolls.

Yea, the temptation was great all day. But I managed not to succumb to it.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:47 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I just realized I forgot to share with all of you that I was going to be in Texas for the last four days. I left Sunday and literally just got back to the house. Sorry about that.

Here is what happened: Work sent me to Texas for a Supervisor Conference. (Not fun)

I didn't want to go and was told it was mandatory. (Then a bunch of other people didn't go, or once they got there they skipped out on the conference to go shopping.)

I learned that most of the females in my office are witches (-w +b) and they were probably that way in high school since they still act like they are. You know cliches, being judgmental, talking behind others backs, are only nice to you if they want something, etc.

I met a lot of people that I really liked and/or wanted to meet. It was great for networking, unfortunately most of my peers didn't take the opportunity for it as they where too busy being in their own little cliches.

Oh, American Airlines can mangle a suitcase like no one else, and they have crappy customer service in the baggage assistance area. Yea, I don't think I'm ever going to get that replacement suitcase.

Anyway I'm back.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:49 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I have returned from Sensitivity Class. It was a refreshing break from weekly grind in that a couple of things that have never happened before to me happened over the last couple of days.

Lets start off with the most insensitive thing that has happened. Tuesday night after dinner I returned to the Hotel Room. By nine oÂ’clock I was bored off my arse and wanted a snack so I ran to a little convenience store next to the hotel, sure it was a longer walk, but it cost a third as much to get what I wanted. When I returned to the hotel room there was still nothing on TV. Being the curious individual I am, and in a new place I started searching the room for anythingÂ… and found nothing. So I went to look out the window. I peaked through the curtain and saw I had the wonderful view of another hotel. YAY! Just as I was about to shut the curtains something caught my attention, boobs. There was a couple having sex across the way from me and one floor down.

I did what any red blooded American male would do. I turned out the lights, repositioned the recliner in front of the window, got myself a drink and ate Cheesy Chex Mix while watching this couple go at it for 15 minutes. Hey, I was bored. They werenÂ’t the best looking, but it was the best thing to watch. Sure itÂ’s a little creepy to be sitting in the dark watching some strangers have sex across the way, but hey they obviously wanted to be watched and I was willing to oblige. I was just wishing I had brought with those binoculars that work gave us last year for something. It would have made the show more interesting. And before you ask, no Mr. Happy did not get covered in orange powder. Unfortunately there wasnÂ’t a repeat show Wednesday night.

This class was a little different then the other ones. Most of the people in this class were new management that hadnÂ’t done anything; they just needed to go through it. Technically, I think I was the only one sent for punitive corrective reasons. Of course they all seemed to be the uber liberal types. I was involved in more debates over Obama VS Hillary for president. I just smiled and nodded, until someone said something about outlawing guns. Then I very politely excused myself from the table, went outside and screamed at the tops of my lungs. Did you know homeless people donÂ’t like it when you do that?

Now here is where the twilight zone comes into play. Guess who the star pupil was? If you’re gasping in disbelief and saying, “no way, it couldn’t have been you” than you’re right. I decided this time I was just going to toe the line and not cause any trouble. I turned out to be the star pupil. I guess something from those other four times sunk in. But I wasn’t just the star pupil; I was leaps and bounds over the rest of the class. The instructor and the observers were all impressed with my feedback techniques and people skills. Stop laughing, I have them, I just never use them.

Now here is where it gets really weird. Today one of the observers wasn’t able to come due to some family emergency or something. So the instructor had to fill the roll as the observer for a Roll Playing session. Since she was doing that, she needed someone to lead the class. Yep, she looked at me and said, “Contagion, you’ve been most impressive in your knowledge of the material and interactions. Do you think you could lead the discussion on this chapter while I do the observations? I’m sure you already have a firm grasp on the material, all you have to do is go over the material in the instructors book and make sure you hit the key points I’ve highlighted.”

What was I going to say? Well, let me rephrase that I told her I would. So for 45 minutes today I instructed the class on Mutual Respect. No joking, I was the instructor. I had a class full of students listening to me instruct them on the fine art of Mutual Respect and being sensitive to otherÂ’s feelings.

So now, for all of you that have been saying IÂ’ve been sent so many times I could instruct the classÂ… I guess youÂ’re correct. Either that or your psychic.

But to make you feel better, I did get a talking to once while there. During Arts and Crafts time (DonÂ’t ask) I was singing All For Me Grog under my breath again. And as usual it was the bawdy version. I donÂ’t know why a house of ill repute isnÂ’t being sensitive, but hey I learned my lesson.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:39 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 So do we call you Mr. Sensitive now? I figure with all that training you have to be the very most sensitive guy in the blogosphere. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at July 26, 2007 07:15 PM (gsbs5)

2 1,000,000 things I want to say. They are all slamming together in my brain at one time. I can't sort them out......

You, Sir, are One Of A Kind!!

Posted by: Tammi at July 26, 2007 07:19 PM (F/bmV)

3 eh. A girlfriend of mine calls me the Celtic Witch. Go figure. I want to hear more about these arts and crafts. I hate that roll playing crap. Next time I am forced to take training, I want arts and crafts. Do they supply the popsicle sticks and yarn or do I need to bring my own?

Posted by: Bou at July 26, 2007 08:30 PM (2zVEj)

4 Theresa, I find your comments hurtful and disrespectful of my current situation.

Tammie: What can I do to help you be able to pull your thoughts together?

Bou: You're friend is not showing you the proper respect you deserve. What do you think we could do to correct that situation.

Posted by: Contagion at July 26, 2007 08:39 PM (gSaan)

5 Just shaking my head

Posted by: Bruce at July 26, 2007 09:24 PM (cw56p)

6 Wow! dinner & an x-rated movie and you didn't have to pay for it. Did you clap afterwards or hold up a scorecard for them? Good job on the sensitivity class & being the teachers pet

Posted by: Red at July 26, 2007 09:35 PM (TYjDF)

7 I must be dreaming. Contagion teaching Sensitivity? The gun carrying, zombie killing, blogger? I'm going back to bed and back to sleep.

Posted by: vw bug at July 27, 2007 04:43 AM (FPOeI)

8 Trainers know the best way to reinforce the material imparted is by teaching. Contagion...they've got your number :-)

Posted by: h~ at July 27, 2007 02:01 PM (JmOg4)

9 H~, now that's just not very nice.

Posted by: Contagion at July 27, 2007 04:12 PM (gSaan)

10 "I don’t know why a house of ill repute isn’t being sensitive..."

Ya gotta watch that dude... Whores have feelings too.... I suppose...

Posted by: Wes at July 30, 2007 11:05 PM (CW7ec)

11 Someone has hacked Contagion's blog! Quickly, someone nearby go to his house and see if you can locate him! The REAL Contagion would never lead a class like this (or if he did, he'd intentionally screw it up).

The only other possible explaination is that during these classes, the students were heavily drugged and/or hypnotized.

Posted by: Ogre at August 01, 2007 09:42 AM (oifEm)

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Do you hear something? It is the sound of a low, lamenting, tolling bell alerting people of a mournful event. For whom does the bell toll? That would be me of course. Now donÂ’t worry my good readers, this is nothing I wonÂ’t survive. IÂ’ve been down this path many times before. Sometimes just for a partial day, usually for a day and a half. This time it is a 2.5 day long journey.

For today I head to sensitivity class… again. (BONG!) There is a difference from this time to all the others. The class I’m going to is an “intensive two and a half day course designed to help those special cases where other classes failed.” Let me translate that: This is for your really difficult people that have scoffed off all of our previous attempts at brainwashing them to believing that the entire world should be PC. (BONG!) “We have specially trained instructors to help educate and enlighten the students to the emotions and perceptions of those they interact.” Translation: We have highly skilled brainwashers that can reprogram your people to pussyfoot around others. (BONG!) “Sessions include: Being more sensitive to your staff. Acknowledging other’s feelings in the work place. Difficult employee or an opportunity for personal growth. Helping you to help others. My employees, my friends.” Translation: Sessions include: Don’t make your staff cry. No matter what you do, don’t upset the staff. You’re employee is a pain in the arse, but you need to ignore it. Why you suck. Let’s join hands and sing Kum By Yah. (BONG!)

But on the bright side IÂ’m going to be able to eat on the company dollar at some of my favorite restaurants in Chicago. On Wednesday night if any of you want to meet me in Chicago for dinner that would be great. I'll be at Fodo's at 100 W. Grand. Since IÂ’m going to be away from a computer youÂ’ll have to either call me if you have my number or contact Ktreva and sheÂ’ll get your information to me. If you canÂ’t or donÂ’t want to, thatÂ’s fine. But do me a favor; just keep me in your thoughts for the next 72 hours.

May the powers that be watch over my soul.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:02 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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You may find this hard to believe, but I really am a man of few words. Few complimentary words that is. I have a hard time telling people how good they are at different things. Which makes my management style in our office completely different from everyone elseÂ’s. Sure I tell my people when they do a good job, and give them a pat on the back. But I donÂ’t stroke their egos for doing the job that is expected.

ItÂ’s time for the annual reviews in my office and if you recall I worked from home last Wednesday to get them finished. Not that mine were long, maybe a paragraph or two. ItÂ’s just that I have a hard time coming up with long worded complimentary statements. I also donÂ’t like getting long ones. In fact I generally like them to just tell me what I do wrong and let me fix it. If you like what I do, show me were it counts.

And that’s exactly what I did. After a year and a half of having direct reports, this is the first time any of them are getting a review solely based on my observations. Thus it’s easier for me to actually rate, appraise and praise them. Tonight I gave my first employee their annual review and showed them the dollar amount of the raise they were getting. After going over the appraisal and rating they read the brief couple of paragraphs I wrote about them. Then I said, “I’m not good with telling people how much I appreciate them, I’d much rather show them.” I slid the paperwork for their raise across the table. Her hands covered her mouth while she started to cry in happiness. I know that the message came across loud and clear. They did a good job and I appreciate all they do for the company.

IÂ’m actually looking forward to giving the rest of my employees their reviews.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:19 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Over the last month I had been talking about bar-b-que at work. Either it was good bar-b-que I had eaten or stuff that I had made. When I was talking about some smoked sausages I made last week, a couple of my employees asked me when I was going to “shut up or put up” meaning, when was I going to stop talking about how good it was and let them sample what I was talking about. The problem is that it’s time intensive and hard to bring to work. That is until today.

We had a baby shower for one of my employees. To go with the baby shower we decided to have a potluck. Anyone that has ever worked or works for my company knows that they will have a potluck any chance they get. “Look it’s going to rain next week, we should have a potluck”. Anyway, since this was for an actual good reason I thought I could take the time to make a nice bar-b-que treat for all of them. Wednesday, while working from home, I made smoked sausages between reviews. Once they had smoked for a good 4 hours, I coated each link in sauce and let it crisp.

Last night after the sausages cooled, I sliced them into bite size bits and put the remainder of the sauce on them. Then over a low heat in the oven this morning I re-heated them. I didnÂ’t make a lot, just because it was kind of expensive and they were spicy. At work I placed them on the table, with a warning label, so that no one got a heated surprise.

The best was when my employee that had been the most vocal about my bringing these sausages in actually tried one; she about coughed up a lung. I told her repeatedly they were spicy. But she didn’t listen. She took one of the chunks popped it into her mouth and started eating. Her eyes started watering and she started coughing and gasping for air. I about fell over in laughter. But her review of them was what I was hoping for. “They taste really good…” Then she added, “But they are too spicy for me.” Not everyone felt the same way. A lot of people really liked them; they ate most of the bowl. Everyone that liked it stated it would taste better on bread.

For too many of the people I had made them way to spicy. Even one lady that I work with that loves hot and spicy food thought it was a little excessive. But she made the observation that “It’s not spicy hot just to be hot. It’s hot because the flavor dictates it needs to be hot.” Which she translated into IE if you made them any milder you would throw off the flavor combination that made them so good.

Hell, IÂ’m happy with that.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I have to do my annual review of my employees. Since it is something that needs a relative amount of privacy so others can't see what I'm writing about an individual, my company allows us to work from home for one day.

Today is my day.

It is a happy day.

I'll have my notification on all day in case I receive an e-mail. That's how I told my work to get a hold of me.

Update 11:23 AM: Holy cow! I'm about 3/4 the way done! this really is more efficient then doing it at work. I'm not constantly being interrupted. I'm going to go take a lunch break now.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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