This is absolutely hilarious. I'm not sure what's funnier, the kid as he's holding on for dear life or the way his mother just laughs at him through the whole thing.

Okay, I'm going to go to hell for laughing at the kid.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:40 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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IÂ’m going to be taking a break for a while. IÂ’m not saying IÂ’m quitting blogging, but I am going to be taking a hiatus for a while. There some pressing issues going on that need my attention.

Like the fact IÂ’m going on vacationÂ… SEE YA WHEN I GET BACK!

Posted by: Contagion at 04:54 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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For the last couple of weeks some kind of animal had been getting into our trash, ripping the bags open and spreading garbage all over our yard and the alley. I was getting really annoyed and I didnÂ’t know what to do other then try to find a more secure way to deal with the garbage. That was until this morning.

Ktreva had left for work with Clone already leaving me home alone. I was packing my cooler for work when I looked up and saw two guys going down the alley pushing a grocery cart full of bags. I see one of them touching our garbage bags and I can see heÂ’s about to tear it open. HeÂ’s obviously looking for pop cans (we donÂ’t recycle), if he was looking for credit card info and personal stuff; we shred all of that. It pissed me off, I realized it was these assholes that where spreading trash all over the alley and my yard.

I yell out the back window loudly, “If you rip that bag open I’m going to fill you so full of lead you’ll be able to use your dick as a pencil.” Yes, I stole a line from The Three Amigos. But I was angry and all I could think of. I never saw two homeless guys run down an alley pushing a cart so fast in my life.

The best part was that one of the new neighbors was outside when I yelled that out. For some reason they didnÂ’t want to make eye contact with me.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:39 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I was getting ready to post, in detail but with out pictures, on Ogfest when I saw a sign. Somewhere south of me there is a bottle of Jack Daniels that is in dire need of drinking, and on one will do it. If it isn't drank today then it's purpose in the world will be lost.

Since, I could not in all moral conscious let that happen, I'm heading to save that bottle of Jack Daniels from being dumped down a drain.

Wish me luck.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:08 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Huh. Cause about the same time the warning sirens went off here in town. Wonder if those two things are tied in any way?????

Posted by: Tammi at July 09, 2007 11:23 AM (PesK3)

2 I'm south of you. I'll look for the bottle and let you know if I find it.

Posted by: Ogre at July 09, 2007 12:53 PM (oifEm)

3 That bottle was saved from a fate worse then death. As for the sirens in your town, I'm sure they are completely related.

Posted by: Contagion at July 10, 2007 06:46 AM (Q5WxB)

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IÂ’m sorry, but not everything you read is true. Some things you read are lies. Others that you read are a stretch of the truth.

IÂ’ll let you decide on this tidbit here for yourself.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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HOLY CRAP! Wes of Bodhran Roll, Please! actually posted something! Of course it was mainly news from last month. IE, crappy re-enactment. IE, went to some Raptor GamesÂ… but then he drops a bombshell at the end.

In best Nelson laugh, HA-HA! Better you than me buddy! Four kids, yeah, it was nice seeing you!

In all seriousness, congratulations buddy.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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What a wild and fun weekend for me. First off I would like to take this time to apologize to anyone that received a phone call from me between the hours of 8:00PM and 2:00AM CST. If you couldn’t tell, I was not quite functioning at full mental capacity. I really lost count of how much I had drank early on in the night. I don’t blame anyone else for my actions; it was completely my own fault. Next time I need to remember to not listen to T1G when he states that I need to “keep up with him” and that “I’m one behind.” So yes, I am truly sorry. We are going to invest in a drunk phone for me next time. The one that has the built in Breathalyzer so that you can’t drunken dial.

Other then that, Friday night was a blast. After work Ktreva and I went to the Rock River Raptor’s Season ticket holders party. I know they tried, but the party was pretty dead. Almost no one showed up other then the players and people associated with the organization. It was held outside in the heat… and they only served Bud, Bud Light and Corona. BLECH! We hung around for a while, but when we saw the party wasn’t going to get any better we left. Since we had a babysitter for the night, Ktreva didn’t want to go home. She wanted to hit the town. The problem was we couldn’t agree on were to go. She wanted to hit a bar. The problem was finding a bar that I would be comfortable in, but would also take my wife to. Most of the bars I tend to like are a little on the rougher side. Thus we ended up at Fritz’. Now I wasn’t positive T1G was going to be there, but well… yea I was pretty sure. Ktreva made the comment. “Great you guys are going to be talking all night and ignoring me.” I told her to call Tammi and tell her to come down. At this point she says, “I don’t have my phone.” FINE! So I call Tammi for her. And of course upon answering the phone I’m accused of drunk dialing. I explain the situation, and Tammi agrees to head down there as well. Flash-forward to a night filled with Day-glo green drinks, Tabasco in beer, and my ultimately delving into drunk dialing.

Saturday night I went with Bruce and our friend KF on the Rock River Raptor bus trip to Bloomington. Folks, this was well worth the price of the ticket. On the bus they supplied sandwiches, chips and fee beer and water. However the beer was Bud and Bud Light. Now I canÂ’t fault them the beer. The local Bud distributor sponsors them, and apparently they are very generous. ThatÂ’s okay; Bruce and I brought our own beer. For the bus trip IÂ’m going to give some high lights.

-BloomingtonÂ’s stadium is awesome. They have a really nice set up with corporate sponsors. They have a Leinie Lodge, a Jack DanielÂ’s VIP section as well as a corporation that bought the rights to the stadium. There is an in stadium pro-shop and a jumbotron with instant replay. Their concessions were better quality and at about the same price range. Their seats have cup holdersÂ… NO SPILLED BEERS!

-Apparently when I get upset and am drinking I swear. Also apparently if I do this with Bruce around the angry parents of little kids will blame him.

-On road trips I do become “That Fan”. You know, the one that is really loud and cheering his team on, even after getting threatening looks from the home team fans. Either that or Bruce was swearing again.

-The best part about our seats was the fact that we were sitting with some of the playerÂ’s families. Blue AldridgeÂ’s uncle was right behind us and he was just as fevered about the game as we were.

-The Raptors won by a point. Yes one point, which made this a very exciting and good game. Of course a missed PAT and short field goal doesnÂ’t help. (IÂ’m watching the placeholder for the next couple of games.

-Tom Crow, the Raptors GM, seems to be an actual nice guy. I’ve spoken with him on a couple occasions. He rode on the bus back from the game with us. We got to spend some time talking to him, and shooting off some ideas and what not. He seemed to take everything we said into consideration. Not that I actually expect him to listen to us, but he was cool about it. Especially since I kept calling him Tim. For the love of me I don’t know why I couldn’t get his name right. I actually started calling him Tim-Tom at one point as I tried to correct myself. He didn’t blow us off. During the ride back, I got a little hungry and Bruce grabbed the three remaining bags of Cheetos from the back of the bus. At that point Bruce kept calling me Cheeto and saying, “Good times Cheeto.” Tom Updates the Raptors site and in his brief post, Raptors Defeat Extreme he ends it with, “Also, a big “Thank You” goes out to our first official Fan Bus Trip of the season… Good Times Cheeto…” I'd like to the post itself, but the way the site is set up, I can't.

-I guess I should mention that my sister lives down there and is a Bloomington Extreme (yes, their team name sucksÂ… extremely) fan. So I was able to see her. And harass her about the guy she brought withÂ… and rub it in after the game that we wonÂ…

All in all it was a great time. For those of you that missed it, you missed a lot of fun. Just remember the next time they do a bus trip, you might want to jump on and just enjoy life a little more.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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This morning I turned on the radio and they were talking about the town of Dalcambre, LA wants to ban baggy pants.

The ordinance states, "It shall be unlawful for any person in any public place or in view of the public to be found in a state of nudity, or partial nudity, or in dress not becoming to his or her sex, or in any indecent exposure of his or her person or undergarments, or be guilty of any indecent or lewd behavior."

So in other words those kids that are walking around with their pants around their knees would get slapped with:

The new indecent exposure ordinance in this Cajun-country town of about 2,000 carries penalties of up to six months in jail and a $500 fine for being caught in pants that show undergarments or, in the mayor's phrase, "private parts."

Yea, $500.00 and up to 6 months in jail, thatÂ’s just insane! But thatÂ’s not what has me posting about this. Sure this is politically correct BS beyond all reason. DonÂ’t believe me, see what the mayor says:

The law applies to women as well as men, the mayor said Wednesday. "If you expose some of your privates, the crack of your behind, if somebody feels insulted they should press charges. If you're offended by it, we want to straighten that out."

Yea, if you’re offended by someone’s dress, you should press charges. Folks, I’d love to be the police officer that has to take that report. Little Old lady: “Officer, I’m offended by that guy's pants! I can see the top of his underwear when he bent over!” Officer, “Ma’am, are you farooking insane? He’s your plumber, he bent over to fix your pipes!” The whole thing is stupid and really, hard to enforce.

But what really has me about the whole thing is:

The law applies to women as well as men,

Wha-wha-wha-what?!?!?!?!?! CÂ’mon Let the ladyÂ’s go. Sure I think they wear their pants way to low, I really donÂ’t need to see that they are wearing their Monday thong on Thursday. Also I think it throws off the natural shape of a woman, but I digress. There are some upsidesÂ… like the hot 20+ year old girls wearing the micro miniÂ’s bending over to pick something up. Or the sexy woman wearing the ultra tight jogging outfit running to keep in shape so her husband wonÂ’t look at the 20+ year old girls wearing the micro mini skirts. Personally, I like the older ones. I think the look of a mature woman is sexier then a younger baby-fat in the cheek girl. Also the women tend to be moreÂ… fun. If you know what I mean.

I can understand no one wanting to see a manÂ’s hair arse. But why would you want to take away the joy and beauty that is a finely shaped female hiney? WHY?!?!?!?!

ItÂ’s just wrong!

So what do you think, should they make the ban for both men and women... or just men! You know where my vote is!

Posted by: Contagion at 06:00 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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When I was in college my friends and I had a rule. If you pass out anywhere other then your own room, you were open game to have any numerous pranks pulled on you. This included drawing on the face, shaving of hair (I used to like to shave one eyebrow or half of the facial hair off.) and putting them in funny poses for pictures, usually vulgar.

These guys went to a level that I just never thought of.

Of course it was incredibly dangerous... but it's still funny.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:42 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Tonight I get home with the boys after work. As we were unloading some groceries from the trick three girls came walking down our street. They were all 15-17 years old, wearing tight black jeans, and corsets or mesh shirts you could see their bras through. They were all dressed in typical Goth black and blood red. Their hair had been dyed black with blood red streaks in it. Boopie was staring at them pretty hard.

Not because of what they were wearing or how goofy they looked, it was because they what they were wearing was tight and revealing. It didn’t help that the girls were pretty. I think Boopie’s chin was on his chest and he was about to start drooling. The girls were pretty full of themselves and were strutting their stuff. They were also being your typical Goth girls, you know “look at us, we’re different.” At this point I couldn’t help myself.

As the girls passed in front of my house, I yelled out, “Boopie, don’t look at the girls! They’re EEEEEEEEEEEVIL!” Then I proceeded to keep saying they are evil while and laughing as they walked by. At which point their faces were as red as their hair, they started to hurry up and I they were mouthing stuff off to me. Boopie turned beet red and ran into the house. I turned around to see that my new neighbors were staring at me. I just pointed to the girls and said, “I didn’t want my son looking at the girls. THEY ARE EVIL!”

For the record, that was a triple score. 1 point for embarrassing Boopie, 1 point for pissing off the Goth girls, and 1 point for scaring the new neighbors. ItÂ’s a good night.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:19 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Personalized license plates. ItÂ’s a trend that is getting more and more prevalent, at least in Illinois. I donÂ’t see anything wrong with them in general; both of my vehicles have personalized plates on them. But I do wonder about what people are having put on them.

First I think there should some truth in advertising. If you have a plate that says “SEKSAY1”, then you damn well better be sexy. When the plate states “BABE 3” you had better either indeed be a babe, meaning your hot, under the age of 1 (although why you’d need to drive at that age is beyond me), or be a talking pig. When I see a plate that says “Too Hot 2” then you better look like some kind of super model, preferably a lingerie model and wearing your work clothes. I’m sure I’m not the only person that sees plates like that and checks out the driver to see if it’s true. I’ve seen these plates all in the last week. Let me just say that I was sorely disappointed by all three.

But that gets to my main point, why would you want to put things on your plates that really don’t shed a good light on you? Again in the last week I’ve seen plates that have said, “SPRFSHL” (Superficial), “AROGANT” (Arrogant), “EGOTIST” (Egotist) and “SELFISH” (Selfish). Yes I know, they were simple to figure out, but I just wanted to make sure you all got the point.

Why would anyone want to advertise these traits? Do they think other people will be in awe of them for being brutally honest? Perhaps they think it makes them cool. I donÂ’t know. Hey, thereÂ’s nothing wrong with having any of those on your license plates, but I just donÂ’t get why? It would be like me having the license plate, if I could, ARSHOLE. Sure I advertise it here, but thatÂ’s because anyone that comes here knows it. But I donÂ’t need to be driving around with that on my truck. ItÂ’ll just single me out to cops and idiot drives.

So what is the weirdest or most misleading license plate youÂ’ve seen?

Posted by: Contagion at 05:27 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Operation Neighbor Scare may need to be upgraded from defensive to offensive standings. Things have started to spiral out of control, and it is now time to ensure my reputation. It seems that with the recent outflow of neighbors in the last 6 months and some of the houses and apartments being empty that my reputation in the neighborhood is not being spread with the foreboding warning that I have enjoyed in years past.

At approximately 18:30 Hours (6:30PM) I was conducting an interview of Boopie in the backyard. He allegedly hit a curb with his bike breaking off one of the foot peddles and he was trying to fix it. Prognosis: Foot peddle threads were stripped, we’ll have to buy a new foot peddle. Unrepearable with the tools and parts on hand. In the middle of my inspection of the part I hear a voice saying, “Hello there”. Looking up, I can see a white male approximately 35-40 years old, about 6 foot, approx 200 lbs, blonde thinning hair, standing at the fence between my property and the house that just sold.

Walking toward the fence I returned the individuals salutation. We introduced ourselves and then I was introduced to his wife and one of their children. At that point the situation took a turn for the worse as I was forced into conducting small talk and pleasantries with the obvious hostile. They even tried reconnoitering information about me and my family for an obviously attempt at a neighborly relationship. After fifteen minutes I excused myself to return to helping Boopie work on his bike.

Returning to the confines of my domicile I proceeded to cleanse myself with externally with soap and internally with Jack Daniel’s. This is when I realized that the mandatory, “Welcome to the neighborhood, stay the fark away from Contagion” talk had not happened with the neighbor. At this point it’s too late for the talk to happen and be as effective; I’m going to have to take some drastic measures.

IÂ’m going to have to start cleaning a lot of weapons in the yard over the next couple of months. Finish getting that hawk block built and start practicing throwing tomahawks. Invite some friends over to sit in the back yard, drink a lot and tell some really inappropriate stories. If all else fails, I think they have a small animal as a pet. I own trapsÂ… IÂ’ll let you do the math.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:54 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I'm here for ya Dude. I can be as inappropriate as the next gal.

Just tell me when......

Posted by: Tammi at June 01, 2007 10:03 AM (wbVY2)

2 Ooo! Inappropriate story and weapon cleaning day!

We should also visually catalog the ammo supplies...

Posted by: Graumagus at June 01, 2007 11:49 AM (7Q4QH)

3 Independence Day is quickly approaching - perfect opportunity

Posted by: Shadoglare at June 01, 2007 11:48 PM (m/07m)

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Last night I caught a glimpse of what might be the new neighbors. It looks like they are setting into moving in possibly as soon as this weekend. Then this morning I saw someone standing out by their garage looking at the roof. (Yes, the one I dropped the tree on).

So do I start doing werid stuff now, or do I wait until they get settled in?

Posted by: Contagion at 06:17 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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So it was that time of the week again, you know what IÂ’m talking aboutÂ… mowing the lawn. My fine contaminants let me tell you that my personal hell is having to mow the lawn in the blazing sun. After about 2 minutes I start hoping I get physically injured so I can stop. Yes, I hate it that much that I start wishing for a hospital visit to get out of it. But I think I may have found the solution to my problem.

My weedwacker broke, so I couldn’t get along the edge of the house, fence, trees, etc. Since I was already in the midst of Operation “Salt the Earth” with these unwanted weeds that keep popping up along the back of the yard, I decided to use the same chemicals instead of weedwacking. This all started a couple of weeks ago. This was the best idea I’ve had in a long time! It worked really well… a little too well. Apparently the chemical I use kills weeds, grass, flowers, bushes, small trees, insects, alien life forms and almost anything that requires sun light or sun light using products to survive.

There is a ring of dead grass around my house. Small tress and bushes are dying at an alarming rate. I figure if I spray the rest of the lawn with this stuff, I wonÂ’t ever have to mow again! ItÂ’ll be great! I can talk Ktreva into letting me pave the yard and put down Astroturf! A whole section of KtrevaÂ’s flowerbed has been returned to nothing but dirt. Insects donÂ’t even cross the barren lands IÂ’ve created. A three-year-old maple tree has returned to the earth from which it sprang, an eight-year-old bush IÂ’ve tried cutting out for 5 years is withering and turning to mulch. Everything is dying!

Well, not everything. The damn weeds that I specifically bought this product for are thriving. IÂ’ve doused them every week for a month and a half, and they just wonÂ’t die. Which is why I would have to pave the dirtÂ… I couldnÂ’t handle a yard full of these weeds. They grow faster then the grass.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:22 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Today and tomorrow I have to be a single dad while Ktreva is out of town.

The boys have been acting up incessantly since 4:00PM.

For the love of all that is good Clone was trying to figure out how to load my blunderbuss. Thankfully I keep the black powder were he can't get it. When he asked for some, I knew something was up.

Boopie is mad because he has to do homework tonight instead of having a friend come over, so he is coping that 14 year old attitude.

It's hot and sticky.

But life is good. Because on a night like this, nothing hits the spot like an ice cold Jack and Coke... quadruple.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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ItÂ’s getting closer and closer to summer. Technically it doesnÂ’t start until June 21, but many people, including myself, view summer as starting Memorial Day weekend. This year summer seems to have come early. WeÂ’ve had a lot of high temps. While there are a lot of good things about summer, it happens to be one of my least favorite seasons. It just seems to be a miserable time of the year. Here are five reasons I hate the summer.

1) Heat. ItÂ’s farooking hot all the damn time. IÂ’m a big guy and IÂ’m constantly sweating. Nothing is worse then getting out of the shower, toweling off and then 5 minutes later having to towel off again. When the humidity is high, just shoot me.

2) Skimpy clothing. Okay some are going to argue this is a bonus. IÂ’m sorry, but for every person that looks good in their really tight revealing outfits there are 5 that donÂ’t. IE yesterday at the grocery store there was one lady that looked decent in her summer skirt and halter top, however the 350 pound guy wearing denim cut offs and a mesh half shirt almost made me chunder into the lobster tank. LetÂ’s not forget the overly large lady wearing some kind of shorts that disappeared in the crack of her arse. It looked like she was wearing a thongÂ… with two overly white mounds of cottage cheese for arse cheeks. DonÂ’t get me wrong people, IÂ’m a big ugly guy, nobody wants to see me in a speedoÂ… including myself. I'm glad these people are proud of their bodies. I just wish they would be proud in private.

3) Open Windows. Don’t get me wrong, I like opening my windows. However, when you do, all the sounds of the world invade your house and car. When I’m driving home and listening to the car next to me playing that “thump-thump” crap over my stereo, it is annoying. It doesn’t matter how loud I turn my stereo up, I can still hear it. Plus I don’t want to listen to my music that loud to begin with. At night with the windows open (and living in an urban area) you get the sounds of the city, sirens, traffic, parties. This is fine early in the evening, at 2 in the morning I just want to sleep.

4) Idiots Out Wondering Around, (No I’m not talking about Iowa). When it’s cold out, these jack arses hide in their homes, bars or apartments. Now that it is warm they are roaming the streets. Sometimes they are just loud (See above about open windows), sometimes they are drunk, sometimes they come pounding on your door at the worst times wanting to know where his buddy “Fred” lives. The vandalism increases and so does property damage. Unfortunately there are laws about booby traps and hunting these inconsiderate arses.

5) No School. That means packs of kids from 10-24 are out in droves. The traffic has increased because the college kids have come home. The stores are filled with younger kids just “hanging out”. They play games in the middle of the street and don’t get out of the way. In fact just about any place I go is filled with kids June, July and August. To make matters worse they are rude, disrespectful, and can be the root cause for some of the above issues. That and if I have to listen to another sentence such as, “um, like Tina and I were um, like going to the store. And um, we ran into Brian there, and um, he was saying that Brandon was um, like totally into Tonya. And um, we were like no way. He was, um saying that Brandon like told him in person. Um and I think Tonya is like into Travis. Um….”, I'm going to try to swallow my own brain. Yea, I don’t know what’s with speech patterns today, but the word “like” is over used and using “um” ever 5 seconds makes me want to strangle them.

Sadly enough, if I could move to a quiet place in the middle of no where, I wouldn't have as many of these issues. I just can't do that.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:09 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Last night was a Raptors game. As I was getting ready to leave, Grau pops over and says his shift was canceled. I had offered him my spare ticket earlier in the week, but he declined so it was offered to someone else. He was going to head to CarlyleÂ’s to do some pre-game tailgating with us. When blog son Bruce showed up, he had a spare ticket. It seems his daughter decided at the last minute to not come with. So Grau was able to snag that seat.

It was a good game, in that the Raptors trounced the River City Rage. For the Rage, or I guess looking at their play last night we should call them the River City Repressed. The big news of the night is that Bruce finally got a game ball. Now, just a little back-story. Last season I had a game ball thrown to me by a player, same with this year, and a ball given to me by one of the coaches. So I have three game balls (I gave one to Boopie). Bruce, being petty and jealous, said they didnÂ’t count because I didnÂ’t CATCH it in game play. He kept telling me that it doesnÂ’t count if you donÂ’t CATCH it. Me, I think it doesnÂ’t matter how you get one, as long as you get one.

So last night a ball is flung right toward Bruce and GrauÂ’s seats. It actually looked like it was going to hit Grau in the head. Grau, panicking batted the ball to the ground with flailing hands. When he batted it, it flew 5 seats to their right and across an aisle. Bruce, in a move I did not think was possible, leapt up, barged pass Grau, pushed some 12 year old boy out of the way and I kid you not punched a 7 year old girl in the head to get the ball. Now, he did punch her, but it wasnÂ’t intentional. Her head did whip back and she started crying as Bruce used his height and weight advantage to strip it from her hands. Folks, I'm not kidding, he really did wrestle the ball away from the kid.

In all honesty, IÂ’m proud of him. He went out of the way to secure a memento that he will forever remember. Sure he may have been a little overly rough with the kid, but it taught her a valuable lesson; If you want to keep what's yours, you need to hold on to it. ItÂ’s just too bad that based on his own rules, it doesnÂ’t count. He didnÂ’t catch the ball. To me, I think itÂ’s a valid way to get a ball, just like having a player give you the ball they just scored a touchdown with, but not to him. So Bruce, hopefully you can get over own issues with getting a game ball and can actually enjoy it.

I know I enjoy mineÂ… all three of them.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:18 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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It’s very easy, but it takes some time. First you need to give them a nickname. Something that is cute when they are young, but as they get older would be very embarrassing, such as Boopie. I gave Boopie his nickname when he was about 4 years old. There was a milk commercial that came out where a father walked into the kitchen and a baby was drinking milk from a bottle, the father said, “Hey there Boopie!” Ten years later I still call him Boopie.

Second, keep the nickname in the family. You donÂ’t want all of his friends to be calling him that from the start. ItÂ’s best that only you, your families, and your friends refer to them by their nickname. If everyone does, it loses its effect.

Third, make sure your timing is right. You have to make sure that the child really hates the nickname and that they are worried about being “cool”. IE, they need to be a teenager. This is critical, you can have all the proper set up, but if you use it too soon, you won’t get the desired effect. Let me explain how:

Boopie is 14, even though I still call him Boopie and some of my friends do, no one else does. He hates, HATES the nickname. He even forbade me to call him that when I would pick him up or drop him off at school. I respected his wishes… until tonight. He had invited some friends over to shoot his Air Soft guns. They were all out in the back yard having fun when I walk out side wearing sandals, black socks, shorts and a button up plaid shirt. Just as he notices me, I say, “Hey Boopie, be careful I don’t want any of you to shoot an eye out. Oh and Boopie, don’t forget to take your bath tonight, I got you the bubbles that you like.” Then I turn around and go back inside. I heard chants of “Boopie?” followed by laughter coming from the back yard inside the house.

Yea, I know. But hell, I figure if IÂ’m going to pay for the counseling anyways, I might as well have some fun with it.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:52 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Last month we had Midget Kickboxing, now thanks to commenter and contributor over at I Hate My Cubicle, Jabbah, we have Midget Basketball.

It just keeps getting better. Maybe next month we can get Midget Zombie Pr0n! Jabbah, if you ever make it to Rockford, let me know. I'm buying you a beer for this one!

Posted by: Contagion at 06:17 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Ktreva and I were actually able to go out and see a movie last night. Since I love zombie movies, and 28 Weeks Later came out, we went to see that. Yes, I know those aren’t “real” zombies. They are humans infected with the rage virus. But you know what, damn near close enough. They may be easier to kill then real zombies, but they are stronger, faster a bit more cunning.

I enjoyed the movie, I thought it was pretty good. However, I will say that this movie is a prime example of how NOT to contain a zombie outbreak. They started off good, but then one security breech and they all went stupid. Then they tried to fix it in the only logical manner.

Folks let me tell you something. If there is a zombie and/or Virus outbreak and the Chief Medical Officer breaks protocol to “find a cure”, treat them as an infected hostile. That’s all I’m saying.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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