Hi, remember me? Graumagus? The asshole who used to have a blog that's now a spark plug emporium site?

Contagion is drunk enough to let me set a few rumors straight about where I've been lately.

Rumor 1) I've been in prison for federal weapons violation

False: What happens along the US/Mexico border stays on the US/Mexico border.
(PS: I can neither confirm nor deny that INS gets upset when they find smoldering greasy spots covered in tattered ponchos smelling of burnt frioles)

Rumor 2) I'm dead

False, unless this is hell, which would explain much...

Rumor 3: I've been kidnapped by a cult of nympho contortionists who worship fat, bald guys

False. Dammit.

Frizzen Sparks will return, goddamnit, and an explanation of my disappearance will be forthcoming.

All I have to say is A) OJ Simpson can't frame himself and B) If you should happen to find yourself banging a Philipino whore so fugly you need to put a bag over her head, the authorities prefer you use paper, not plastic.

-Graumagus

Posted by: Contagion at 08:12 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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