February 07, 2006
I just went into the bathroom to take a look at it, and sure enough itÂ’s starting to get puffy and swollen. ThereÂ’s no bruising, but I donÂ’t bruise easily. Normally I would just blow it off and not think twice about it, but after reading TammiÂ’s story here, IÂ’m thinking a three-day vacation might be nice.
Then again I may go to the doctor and just discover that IÂ’m a battered spouse. I always thought Ktreva beat me in my sleep!
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As I continued to drive home I saw yet another Tracker, this time pink. I havenÂ’t seen two Trackers on the road on the same day in ages, or at least not that IÂ’ve noticed. It was strange, but I figured they got my attention because I had been thinking of my friends Tracker.
After picking up the boys I continued my journey home and thought nothing of it. That is until I came to a stoplight. Right in front of me was a black Geo Tracker, Then a white one pulled up along side me, and a red one stopped right behind me. All of them where the convertible models 2-door model, not the even more rare 4-door hard top variety. Okay, IÂ’ll admit I was a little weirded out by the whole thing. I mean, here I am being swarmed by Geo Trackers!
Then a thought crossed my mind. Something so off the wall I couldnÂ’t help but laugh out loud, which made Boopie look at me like I was insane. In fact just thinking of it now makes me laugh.
Imagine if you will a group of guys all going out and buying trackers. Painting each of them in a different color or putting different logos on them. Then they add those exhaust systems that you see idiots put on 4 banger cars like Neons, Civics, Accords, etc that make them sound like sewing machines on crystal meth. After customizing their Geo Trackers, these guys hit the road like a pack of bikers.
Imagine them swarming around cars as they go down the road. Pulling into gas stations in a pack, parking in a line at the local bar or even pulling into one of the few remaining drive-in restaurants to get something to eat. ThatÂ’s kind of funny, but now imagine people like say Me, T1G, Graumagus, Eric, Blackfive, Johnny-Oh and Dr. Phat Tony doing that. CÂ’mon, admit it; the mental picture of that made you smile! I'd bet T1G wants the pink Tracker!
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This was not like most of the campgrounds you see today. No, there was no running water at the sites, no electricity and no pavement. A main shelter house had plumbing and electric. Unless you had a site near the Shelter House (as it was called) you had to use the out houses that where all over. These where the old-fashioned outhouses, a big hole in the ground covered by a wooden box youÂ’d go in to do your business. If they filled up, they would just fill it in, dig a new hole and move the box. Later on, about the time I was High School, they started running electric to the various sites, and when I was in college, they ran water. However, you still had to use the out houses or the Shelter House to go to the bathroom. They never ran plumbing to each site.
There was no concession stand or video games originally. Nope, if you didnÂ’t have anything you had to run into town. You amused yourself the old-fashioned way, hiking, swimming, and fishing. It was probably around 1983 when the first pop machine arrived. This was a big deal. Kids would bug their parents for money to buy a pop out of the machine. Even if the parents had the exact same pop in a cooler, all the kids wanted it out of the machine; it just tasted better. When I was in High School they brought out video games, other vending machines and in college, they built a small office convenience store.
The campground had a small man made lake, which was fed by two small creeks. By the shelter house, they had a beach for swimming and a raft for diving off. When I say raft, think of The Raft from Creepshow 2, it looked just like that. The lake was filled with bullheads, bluegill and some bass. Occasionally someone would pull a carp out of there. The other aquatic creature they had where snapping turtles. As a kid, I loved catching snapping turtles. I probably caught a good couple dozen over the years. My grandmother would clean and cook them up for my friends and me.
IÂ’d spend hours in the woods making forts, or exploring. IÂ’d play in the creeks, damming them up so the water would back up making a small pond. ThatÂ’s how I caught my first snapping turtle. As I got older, I would take my younger cousins out with me and show them all the things I had found, like the hollow tree you could hide in and the secret place that had the wild black berry bushes.
I would always invite friends to come with when I went. While my parents would sleep in the RV, we would be in a tent. Sometimes even on our own site. My parents finally bought a permanent spot and replaced the RV with a good-sized camper. My friends and I would spend entire weekends up there horsing around, fishing, drinking (in the later years) and building fires that would rival the sun.
The first crush I ever had was for a girl whose parents camped there. I still remember watching her swimming and marveling at the female form in a bikini. My first sexual experience was also at this campground; unfortunately, it didnÂ’t involve my crush. It wasnÂ’t anything scandalous, just your normal pre-teen kid stuff.
Over the years we camped there, it went through six different owners. For two of the owners my grandparents managed the campground on the weekends. About 4 years ago, the campground closed. The last owner had some big plan in mind. The rumor was that he was going to turn it into a KOA style campground to help cater to the Casino that was supposed to come to Beloit, Wisconsin. I donÂ’t know if that is true or not, because that casino never came. I helped my parents clean up their site, take apart all the decking they had built and remove the shed. That last day still lingers clear in my memory.
Some of you may be wondering why IÂ’m telling you this. Over the weekend, I heard from my blogless buddy Jay that what remained of the campground had been tore down. Some developer had bought the property. When he told me that, a flood of memories came back to me. My entire childhood and part of my adulthood was intertwined with that campground. I even took Ktreva and Boopie camping there. Clone wasnÂ’t born by the time they closed it or he would have gone too.
Part of me always hoped someone would buy it and reopen it. I guess that is never going to happen. For some reason I feel much older today.
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February 06, 2006
If you are an animal lover, especially dogs, you may not want to read any further. In fact, just skip this post and never, ever, ever click on a link to it. If you want to see how badly something simple can go wrong, the post is in the extended entry
more...
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IÂ’m just going to start by saying IÂ’m very disappointed in the officiating during the game. Every Steelers fan IÂ’ve talked to thought it was okay and every Seahawk fan IÂ’ve talked to thought it was poor. FanÂ’s of other teams are torn, but more of the ones IÂ’ve talked to agree with me that there where some pretty bad calls made or in some cases, not made during the game.
Some of the bigger calls I saw made that I disagree with are:
1) BenÂ’s touchdown. IÂ’m sorry but that ball did not break the plain until after he was down. However, they may claim there was not enough evidence to overturn the call. I think they are wrong.
2) The complete lack of offside calls against the Steelers. CÂ’mon these guys where not only blatantly jumping the gun on a lot of plays, but in at least three, they had people lined up in the neutral zone. (Some will say that the Steelers had the cadence down. Except the ball hadnÂ’t been snapped when they where crossing the line.)
3) We have yet another case of delay of game not being called, apparently in the playoffs you have an extra 2 seconds too snap the ball. On one the Time Out was called AFTER the clock was to 0.
4) Holding calls inconsistently called. On the Seattle comeback drive, they called holding against Seattle, which barely met the textbook definition of holding. Yet on other plays, there where holds that are more blatant being done and not called, including on a certain 75 yard run.
Before I go into the next play I question, I want to remind all of my readers that the little read and yellow lines on the field are not OFFICIAL. They are added by the networks to assist the viewers on the play. IÂ’ve seen games where the lines have been off up to 3 yards, heck even the announcers will tell you they can be off by as much as 3 yards. On one of BenÂ’s passes, IÂ’m not so sure he wasnÂ’t past the line of scrimmage. I only caught the side angle of the play once (when it first happened) and it sure looked like he was past it. I never saw any of the replays from the same angle that included the sideline markers. IÂ’m not saying this is a call that should be made; IÂ’d just like to have seen that from a different angle so there was no doubt in my mind.
I can already hear some of you asking, “Are you trying to imply the ref’s and officials where against the Seahawks? What are you, some kind of conspiracy theorist?” No, I’m not saying that at all. I did however watch the game with someone that did and was convinced of it. All through out the game he kept saying it was a conspiracy in the NFL to keep the NFC from winning. The Colts/Steelers game was even used as an example. His belief is that the NFL wanted the Colts in the Super Bowl, but since the Steelers beat the colts by overcoming the NFL’s interference, the NFL decided to back the Steelers. He didn’t find it amusing when I made a tinfoil beanie for him to wear. But that was probably because it had chili-cheese dip on it when I put it on his head. (It was made from the foil covering they used to cover the dip with.) What I’m implying is that there were some bad calls made, and in every game, there is.
At least one penalty could be called on every play in a game. The Officials are humans, they make mistakes, I can forgive mistakes. I just want them to be consistent. If they are going to call ticky-tack holding calls, call them on both teams. If youÂ’re going to ignore offside calls, then maybe they should ignore false starts as well. After all the controversy around bad calls made during the post season this year, I would have thought the NFL would have done everything to ensure that the biggest game of the year was called properly.
I actually thought it was a good game. I don’t like high scoring games. A great defensive game is more fun to watch in my opinion. The commercials bored me, there where only a couple that I thought where amusing and/or interesting. During halftime, I almost went into a rage. I was pissed that the NFL brought in the living dead to perform. Then someone told me that the Stone’s hadn’t died yet and it calmed me down. One of my friends I was watching the game with was in the band and he made this statement: “If this was my band and we sounded like the way the Stone’s are right now, people would tell us we suck.” He was right, they sounded horrible and I was less then whelmed by the power of the performance.
One last game of the season, the Pro-Bowl. Now I need to find a Pro-Bowl party to attend
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February 05, 2006
For the first time in 6 years IÂ’ve been invited to multiple Super Bowl parties. (I must be getting tame in my old age.) Of course I said yes to the first one and then declined all the rest. The thing that gets me is that I want to go to all of them for different reasons. Some I know will have better food; others will have better alcohol (One is serving 18 year old Scotch!), and others may have better conversation.
Either way I know IÂ’m going to have fun! It should be a great game; I thinking it will be close. When I get back IÂ’ll share with you the tragic story of how the dog dilemma went.
Go Seattle!
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February 04, 2006
Check out this fine collection of SVU (Special Valentines Unit) Valentines Day cards.
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The thing that gets me with lists like this is that itÂ’s all based on a personÂ’s opinion. A personÂ’s opening can be easily swayed by a liking or disliking of a team, player, and/or owner. I put about as much stock into lists like this as I do of the dream I have that Adriana Lima is going to come to my house and have a three-way with me and my wife coming true.
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08:56 AM
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Fear of Girls
This is absolutely hilarious, especially if youÂ’ve ever played any kind of role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons. It is long, 11 minutes, 12 seconds. Well worth the wait.
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February 03, 2006
However if you are going to leave an inflammatory or political comments on my blog, you WILL leave a valid e-mail address. You can put spaces in it or add something to it so that it will stop spam filters. IE Contagion_1@NOSPAMyahoo.com. That way I can respond to you both in my comments and by e-mail to let you know.
Why am I stating this now? I just had someone leave a very long, political comment on my Home Rule posts. However, this person made many accusations and asked questions. They did not however leave an e-mail address for which I can respond to them, nor others that may support or oppose our positions. Most of my readers that come for Home Rule information do not leave comments; they use E-mails.
I wish this commenter had left an e-mail address; I really wanted to ask him more questions
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When we bought our current house, it came with a dishwasher, so now I had two. Unfortunately, my original dishwasher decided to break down and no longer do dishes, it was now going to be my job. Fine, so I learned how to operate the new dishwasher and away we went. Everything was fine for the first couple of months. Then something happened that had never been a problem in the past.
After putting a load of dishes in the dishwasher, I reached under the sink for detergent. Pulling out the bottle, I could see that it was empty. What, no dishwasher soap? What the hell?!?! I was lost, what was I going to do. Then I spotted the answer. There, next to the sink is Dawn dish soap, with grease cutter! AHA! ThatÂ’ll work!
After filling the detergent container in the machine, I close the door and start the machine. I mean, if it washes dishes in the sink, itÂ’ll work in the dishwasher right? It did work really well. The problem is that it worked too well.
I leave the kitchen proud of myself and sit down to watch some TV. Half an hour later Ktreva goes walking into the kitchen and screams, “OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?”
Thinking that Boopie had done something wrong, I jumped up and ran to the kitchen. Once I stepped in, I was greeted by Ktreva standing there, arms crossed and knee deep in bubbles. The kitchen was filling with bubbles coming out of the dishwasher. “What did you do?” she asked. “Ran the dishwasher,” I responded.
Ktreva, “How much detergent did you use?”
Contagion, “About the same as normal, maybe a little more since it was a different brand.”
Ktreva, “A different brand, I didn’t buy a different brand.”
Contagion, “We were out of the regular kind, so I used the dawn.”
Ktreva, “YOU USED SINK SOAP IN THE DISHWASHER?”
Contagion, “uh, yeah.”
Ktreva, “You can’t use sink soap in a dishwasher!”
Contagion, “Why not?”
Ktreva points around the kitchen.
Contagion, “Oh, yeah. Got it.”
We went about cleaning it up. We pushed a lot of the bubbles out the back door. We used a ShopVac and mops. When we were done, the floor was the cleanest it had ever been since we moved in. The dishes where also very clean when the dishwasher was finished. (The old model didnÂ’t have a shut off, you had to let it finish).
That was a valuable lesson learned that day.
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Yesterday a minion of mine stopped me while I was walking through the department. She says to me, “Mr. Contagion, can I ask you a question?”
Contagion: (rolls eyes) “If you must.”
Minion: “I’ve heard you own some guns, is that true.”
Contagion: (Waiting for the anti-gun rant) “Yes, I own a couple.”
Minion: “Do you think you could do me a favor?”
Contagion: (Being apprehensive) “If you ask me to kill your husband I’m going to be very upset.”
Minion: “NO, no. Not that. We live out in the country on an old farm. We rent the land out to other farmers to actually farm. We kept some of the land so we could some animals. Unfortunately, one of them has become sick and is in a lot of pain. We can barely make ends meet right now since my husband was laid off, and the vet bill for the visit cleared out our savings.”
Contagion: (Hopeful) “Please tell me it’s a Llama.”
Minion: “ Llama? No, why? It’s a bull mastiff.”
Contagion: “Never mind, it’s a long story. Okay, so what do you want from me?”
Minion: “We can’t afford to pay to have him put down. Rocky, the dog, is one of our favorites and we are awfully attached to him. We don’t own a gun and even if we did, I don’t think we could bring ourselves to shooting him.”
Contagion: (Seeing where this is going) “Okay….”
Minion: “Since I know you don’t have any problems with killing animals. I was wondering if you would mind coming out and shooting Rocky for us?”
Contagion: “Yea, I need to think on that one. It’s not like I’m just picking off Bambi’s mother at 200 yards. This is actually somewhat humanitarian. It’s not something I normally do, just shooting an animal to put it out of its misery. It’s up close and personal.”
Minion: “I understand.”
I went back to my desk and pondered on this situation. After I got home and the excitement of the baby, I sat and pondered on it. As I tried to sleep last night, I continued to ponder on it. All morning, while bathing, getting dressed, making breakfast, driving to work, sitting through meetings and passing out work, IÂ’ve been thinking of this. IÂ’m just not sure what to do.
What do you think?
.357 magnum or .30-30 rifle?
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12:39 PM
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This brings me to my second issue. I have a minion at work that is a Steelers fan, huge Steelers fan. He claims that the Steelers are going to put the smack down on Seattle. He was so convinced of this he wanted to put a wager on it. You all know IÂ’m not a gambling man; no good comes from gambling. Yet, this one time I bit. Why? He gave me 25 points. Yes, twenty-five points! That means that if the Steelers win 35-10, we tie, if itÂ’s 34-10 I win.
So if there are any other Steeler fans out there that want to offer the same conditions, contact me.
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06:21 AM
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February 02, 2006
She was due on the 25th, and last night around 6:30 PM they induced her. I just received word that she still has not delivered the child, and there are complications. If you could find the time just to think some happy thoughts for her, IÂ’d appreciate it. SheÂ’s a good kid and just needs a little help right now.
UPDATE: I just received word from Virtue, Mom and baby are doing fine. Child was taken by C-section, its a girl. 20 inches long, 6 lbs 14 oz. Name: I forgot.
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01:33 PM
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This year IÂ’m really excited! For the first time since Ktreva and I have been together, we are taking a vacation that does not involve either visiting a relative or having a relative travel with us. Most of our vacations involve my mother-in-law. Ktreva is excited because this is the first year that we are going somewhere neither of us has been before. Usually we go somewhere IÂ’ve already been that she hasnÂ’t.
I donÂ’t have all the details down, but right now, we know we are going to stop in Bowling Green, KY to see the Corvette Manufacturing plant and museum. IÂ’ve been a huge Corvette fan for years and IÂ’ve always wanted to stop by here. After that we are heading to Lynchburg, TN so that we can take a tour of the holy land Jack DanielÂ’s Distillery. Yes, I know itÂ’s a dry county. IÂ’ve always wanted to go there, plus I want to do some research on distilling for re-enacting. While in Tennessee, weÂ’ll probably visit some of the Davy Crocket sites before heading to Shiloh. Shiloh has been a place IÂ’ve wanted to visit for years. ItÂ’s the site of the first major engagement in the Civil War. Sure, it seems like this vacation is planned around me, well she got to plan the last one!
I just received the material last night so IÂ’m not sure exactly what else weÂ’re doing yet. At this time, IÂ’m just excited over the fact I finally get to see three sites IÂ’ve wanted, and havenÂ’t had the chance to
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01:09 PM
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At work, all my peers are doing this “Biggest Loser” competition. They are all trying to see who can lose the most weight over the next three months. All of them are female, and not a one of them is by any shape or form fat or even what I would consider overweight. If one of them is overweight, it can’t be by more then a few pounds.
They started this at the beginning of January. ItÂ’s been a month and they are all comparing to see where they where at and what methods they are using. Now insert the big arse factor. ItÂ’s been a month with no chocolate for them, and they are all chocolate fanatics. What do I do? Yes, I bought a couple of bags of candy, ReeseÂ’s peanut butter cups and Hershey kisses. I put it in a tin that I use to distribute candy and left it on the edge of my desk. ItÂ’s not uncommon for me to put candy out for people, I do it when my inventory looks good or when the minions do something exceptional. This time it was different.
My desk is right by the two most used conference rooms in the building. With all the meetings we have, my peers have to walk past my desk at least 3 times a day. They also have to come over when they want something from me or another peer that sits in the next cubicle. If they want to see the manager, they walk right past me. After a month of depriving themselves of chocolate, the pull is too great for them. They have been snagging pieces every time they walk by. IÂ’ve gone through all of my candy.
I was going to buy more to keep it up, but IÂ’m not thinking itÂ’s so funny anymore.
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The other is Shadoglare of Refractional Darkness. WeÂ’ve decided that we are forcibly adopting him into the Clan since he has the balls openly to state he doesnÂ’t want to be.
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February 01, 2006
This month we have yet another lovely Scottish Lass, Rosslyn MacKinnon. Go see Ms. February and see if you can meet her standards!
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06:28 PM
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ItÂ’s not that I fear change; I just donÂ’t like it. I get comfortable and then something changes and I have to get that comfort factor back again. Food is not one of the things I do a lot of changing. Heck, IÂ’ve had Salami/Roast beef and Provolone cheese wraps dipped in horseradish sauce every Monday through Friday for the last 2 years. My lunch is usually summer sausage, hot pepper cheese and horseradish sauce. My normal snack foods are Ranch Corn Nuts, Popcorn, Peanuts, Doritos (Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch) or Lays chips in a cheese sauce. Rarely do I stray, it happens but not often.
I had the regularÂ… eh, theyÂ’re somewhat bland. Barbeque, not bad, I could handle eating these again. Nacho Cheese, Okay when I opened the bag of these the smell was strong enough to have people two cubicles away ask me what I was eating. The taste however was bland. Then today I saw a flavor I had never had before, Salsa Jalisco. IÂ’m not even sure what that is, but I thought why not. LetÂ’s try them. Worst snack food idea IÂ’ve ever had! Hell the chocolate covered grasshoppers I had five years ago where better and more appetizing than these things are!
First, upon opening the bag the smell was over powering. Secondly, the flavor was that of moldy salsa. (Trust me; IÂ’m familiar with the taste of mold). And not good salsa, but the crappy salsa that someone makes thinking itÂ’s hot but really, it could pass as ketchup with onion flavors. You know the stuff, youÂ’re grandmother may have even made it. I know mine did once! Third, the after taste has stuck with me and itÂ’s been over 3 hours since I ate them. Finally, and the most disturbing part is that they make my breath smell so bad that IÂ’m gagging myself. The Ranch make my breath bad, these make it toxic.
If I burp and the odor wafts back to my nose, my eyes start to water and I begin to twitch. I had to go teach one of my minions how to do something. While I was at their desk, I took a swig of pop. Shortly there after I had a small little burp, not audible… but it still stunk. My minion grabbed her face and gagged. After regaining the ability to talk, she asked, “What the hell did you eat? It smells like a vegetable garden went to compost in your mouth!” I would have taken another breath strip, but I didn’t have anymore. (I finished off my final five before heading to her desk.) I just told her that it’s an incentive for her to catch on quickly. The faster she learns the sooner I’ll go. I’ve never had anyone catch on that fast before.
Â…GACKÂ…
Sorry, just burped. I swear I felt my nose hairs curl on that one. What you donÂ’t see is that I stood up and walked away from my desk for five minutes. Meanwhile one of my peers quickly ran away with in seconds of my leaving.
Take this as a public service announcement. DO NOT EAT THE SALSA JALISCO CORN NUTS! You and everyone around you will regret it!
IÂ’m going to go brush my teeth again.
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04:13 PM
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At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of the days conferencing.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the barkeep, "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."
Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next, "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, give me a Bud."
Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt.?? Give me in Becks, da ist der real King of beers, danke."
Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward, "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke with ice and lemon. Tanks." The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?"
Paddy replies "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then neither am I!"
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06:05 AM
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