October 12, 2005
My issue is that IÂ’m flying out of OÂ’Hare international scareport (If youÂ’ve ever been there you understand why I call it that) and crashing landing in Dallas/Fort Worth international airport. Flying never bothered me, until 9/11. Now when I get onto the plane I start profiling people, keeping me eye on everyone and in general just waiting for someone to cause trouble. Its not that I think itÂ’s going to happen, but if it does happen I want to be prepared for it.
I know me, I know how I am, if someone did try to highjack my plane I probably would die trying to kill them by using my glasses frames to stab them in the jugular. IÂ’m fine all the way up until I actually get on the plane, then my nerves step in. All I have to do is stop what IÂ’m doing, and focus on something else. This however goes against years of training and conditioning. For me just completely ignore the mass of people around me in an unfamiliar place is difficult. IÂ’m a big boy, IÂ’ll just have to suck up and deal with it.
While I was in Texas, I was hoping to be able to meet some bloggers that are down in that area. Upon looking at mapquest, I discovered that TLTTF is not exactly with in an hourÂ’s trip from Dallas. Then I discovered they are probably going to be traveling anyway. Since they are the only Texas bloggers that I read, that I am aware of, there goes that idea.
I guess I’ll just have to fill my free time by “playing” with my mentorees.
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Unfortunately, his trip was cut short.
He was mad when he could not open the child gate in order to go out the front door.
I have a feeling when he gets older IÂ’m going to be spending a lot of time searching for him around the neighborhood.
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As soon as I saw the red and blue lights behind me, I looked down at my speedometer and knew I was busted. Fifty-six in a thirty-five. SHITE! My luck with talking my way out of tickets is legendary amongst people that know me. I’ve been pulled over 29 times in the last 8 years and only received speeding tickets 3 of those times. There was no way my luck was going to work with this, 21 over in a residential is a big ticket. Thinking to myself, “eh, what the hell, I’ll give it a shot. What’s the worst that’s going to happen; I get the ticket?” And this is how it went:
(Officer walks up to the truck, window rolled down prior to cop stepping out of his vehicle.)
Me: “Good morning, Officer. I’m sorry; I’m still getting used to driving this big truck and wasn’t paying attention. This is one ticket you won’t have to worry about showing up in court for.” (Hands firmly holding the steering wheel at the ten and two position the whole time I’m talking)
Officer, “You where going pretty fast. Can I see your license and proof on insurance?”
(License and insurance sitting on dashboard prior to officer leaving his vehicle)
Me: (Handing information to the officer and using my Law Enforcement Voice) “Sure, its clear valid, class D-David original, No restrictions, no stops, 1 conviction. It has not been run in Illinois in the last 12 months.”
(Cop and I look at each other; a look of recognition comes across both of our faces. This is not necessarily a good thing when dealing with the police. In this case it was a good thing.)
Officer: (looks at license) “Didn’t you used to work for the state?”
Me: “Yea, about 7 years ago.”
Officer: (Laughing) “I thought you looked familiar, we used to work together I’m (Name excluded for privacy)”
Me: (Laughing) “Holy shite! I didn’t recognize you. It’s been a long time. When did you transfer to the Rockford PD?”
Officer: “Three years ago. Are you still working as a citizen?”
(We spend 5 minutes catching up)
Officer: “You know I have to give you a ticket.”
Me: “I know you can use your discretion and not give me a ticket. If you feel that I made a mistake and will not repeat it, you can let me go.”
Officer: “Yea, we used to race each other on the way to work.”(Sarcastically)”Sure, you’ll never speed again.” (We lived in the same city and would travel the same route on our 45-minute commute to work)
Me: “Hey! I remember someone else starting those little races.”
Officer: (Laughing,) “All right, don’t let me catch you doing it again.”
Me: “I’ll be more careful, BTW I’ll race you to the next light!”
Officer: “I could just see the trouble I would get in if someone reported that to my supervisor.”
We bid each other farewell and I pulled out nice and carefully. I guess I just shouldnÂ’t underestimate my luck. Oh, and before you go trying this the next time you are pulled over remember two things. First, you have to have the right voice and tone inflections when giving your driving status and know what exactly is on there. If you are off just a little, it will NOT work. Secondly and more importantly, the only reason this worked was because I knew the cop. In all rights, I should have been slammed with a very large speeding ticket.
Oh, and yes everyone IÂ’ve told this to today is irritated that I was able to get out of this ticket.
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October 11, 2005
Now if anyone could assist me in figuring out how to get my side bar on all of my archive pages I would appreciate it. No matter what I do, it doesn't seem to end up in the right place. Same offer as before, all kinds of link love, praise and top billing for the first person that helps me get it where it need to go. If I figure it out on my own then nothing changes!
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The other morning I left my house to head for work. My wife had left with the boys already, so I was by myself. As I approached my truck, I heard a growl from behind me. Then two more distinctly different growls joined in. There was something different about the growl, it was higher pitched then I am accustomed to. Quickly I turned to face my attackers. In the past, I have had to fight a dog before, itÂ’s painful and messy, but can be done easily enough.
Then I saw my attackers.
Three dogs, but not just any dogs, these where Chihuahuas. A pack of free roaming Chihuahuas straight from legend has invaded my neighborhood. All three of them were shaking like a crack fiend jonesing for their next fix. This time they picked the wrong prey. Looking down upon the obvious ringleader, the largest of the three dogs, I chuckle. These three must have had a serious Napoleon complex.
I turn to get into my truck when the three advance on me. WTF???? I have feet bigger then they are; are they hoping IÂ’m going to have a heart attack? Taking a few quick steps forward all three run in different directions. I just couldnÂ’t believe what was going on. Turning around to get into my truck, there is the leader and one of this cronies standing there. I can hear the other coming up behind me.
My amusement at the situation has waned. In my authoritative “I’m not happy” voice, I tell them, “I’ve eaten things bigger then you.” Still barking and growling, they move closer! Now my irritation at the situation has sparked an anger response in me. I try to kick one of these ankle biters. Missing as they all break and flee, I decide just to leave. Climbing into my truck, I can see they are still hanging around.
While I was backing out of the driveway, I’ll admit that I tried to run them over… and missed. Since my wife was already at work, and I wasn’t heading to the office, I called her to tell her the story. I also asked her to inform Animal Control that I was “Viciously attacked” by three Chihuahuas. I swear she fell out of her chair laughing! That’s love for you, I’m viciously attacked and she just laughs at me!
While driving a stray thought came to me, is this a new trend? Will packs of wild Chihuahuas start roaming the countryside in look of prey and to harass people? I sure hope so, free range Chihuahuas taste better then house kept ones.
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October 10, 2005
Since I'm shy, I just can't bring myself to start e-mailing people that I think might be able to help me. Especially if I've never once stepped foot on their blog. If anyone reads this and thinks they might be willing to help me please leave a comment. To whomever actually fixes my problem I will give you an insane amount of praise and linkage, Including a top billing on my side bar with credits praise and maybe even something that describes you as a deity of the internet!
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*Do not show up 30 minutes late and say, “I thought this started at 8:30… Eh the extra 30 minutes of sleep were worth it.”
*I work for a company that definitely does not hire based on looks. IÂ’m not vein in any sense, in fact, I think IÂ’m pretty much a hideous man-beast, but I was the best looking person in that class.
*After taking the personality test the instructors do not like when you enthusiastically shout out that you scored “perfect” for the “Dominant” personality. (Out of 20 possible points for the dominant personality, I scored 20. The instructor said that the highest he had seen before that day was 16 and he’d been doing this for 10 years.)
*They like it even less when you tell the lesser beings in the class to bow down in awe.
*When you are placed in a workgroup filled with submissive personalitiesÂ… you get exactly what you want.
*During the part of the class in which you are to come up with ways for your “personality profile” to work with other “personality profiles”, if you are dominant the correct answer is not, “Pretend you care about them”. (Even if it is true. There were two other Dominant personalities in my class, not as dominant as I am, but we all felt that way. However, I actually said it out loud.)
*When they say you are going to do some role-playing, do not shout out, “I want to be the wizard” OR “Can I be the policeman?” (Especially the second one… Thank jebus someone besides me has a sense of humor!)
*In the middle of the roll playing session if you don’t want to do it anymore, just shout out, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M DEFENSIVE?!?!?!?!?!”
*If you are put into a group that has no creative or artistic ability and you are supposed to do something creative and artistic; the best thing to do is stand up and announce to the entire class after your presentation, “As you can see our group has neither creative nor artistic ability. If we could pay you back the 10 minutes of your life lost listening to us babble we would.” We had best presentation!
*If you are a dominant personality and placed with a group of creative and submissive personalities, you can sit back and let them do all the work and give you the credit.
*One does not have to like or dislike a person to scare them.
*Being the only guy with 36 females can be fun.
*Being the only guy with 36 females in a sensitivity class can be dangerous.
*Being the only guy with 36 females with an average weight of 250 lbs in a sensitivity class can be hazardous to your health, if you know what I meanÂ… And IÂ’m sure a lot of you do.
*After establishing that you have a “dominant” personality, it is not a good idea to point out that you are the highest level management in class and you should be able to do what you want, even if that includes taking a nap in your truck.
*DO NOT LAUGH DURING THE LANCE ARMSTRONG FIGHTS CANCER MOTIVATIONAL VIDEO! Nothing you say or do will fix the damage that you have caused. (I was thinking of an incident that happened earlier in the day and not paying attention. I started chuckling when they where talking about how he almost died from cancer)
*Finally, if you have to go to one of these things try at least to have fun with it, even if that means dragging the rest of the class down with you.
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Oh, to all the Bear fans out there, that fumble at the end of the game wasn't Orton's fault... that was just really bad play by the running back.
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October 09, 2005
That isn’t what makes that day stick out in my mind. Nope, Why I remember this day is because I had planned something special that was supposed to happen that day. I had worked out with a friend of mine that during one of our performances we were going to deviate from our lines and make it look like we started a real fight. The fight was supposed to start over an inappropriate comment made to another re-enactor. After the drawing of steel and a heated sword fight I was supposed to come away victorious and in front of the gathering crowd propose marriage to the “offended” re-enactor. We had worked on and practiced the fight and the wording for hours, only to have it be a waste of time. We never were able to do that show with the event being closed.
Saturday morning upon hearing the weather report I knew that my plan was for naught. They called for cold rain and high winds all day. No swordplay would be done in this weather. So at approximately 11:45 with a crowd of public gathered under our fly trying to keep dry and other re-enactors, I got down on one knee in the cold mud and asked the most beautiful re-enactor IÂ’ve ever seen to be my wife.
I never figured out why she said yes, or what she saw in me, but she did see something that she felt was worth giving a chance. Her kind and compassionate heart held a poor, surly, angry and hateful man in a special place. The love of this woman had changed me from being so angry and hateful into a content and more forgiving man. All I knew was that I was a better person for having her in my life.
6 years ago today, October 9th, 1999, the Beautiful Re-enactor and the Surly Re-enactor were married with a ceremony and reception that is still talked about to this day. The bride made her own Elizabethan wedding gown; the Groom wore a Scottish lord outfit, literally the whole 9 yards. (The wool kilt was 9 yards long before being pleated; this was the origin of that term). The bridesmaids wore Elizabethan lady in waiting gowns. The Groomsmen and ushers all wore kilts. All the re-enactors that attended came dressed in their best costumes. A piper led the bride down the aisle. The church where we were married still talks about this ceremony.
At the reception Matt, the Chieftain of Clan Chattan, brought drums with and our reception turned into a proper Scottish Ceileigh. Along with the modern music, various members of Clan Chattan would play the different drums. They would also allow other guests attending to play along with them.
That was Six years ago today.
Ktreva, I love you. With out you I would have lost my humanity to my own self-destructive habits. Thank you for two wonderful boys and a life filled with happiness and joy. Because of all that you have done for me I am a better person. Again, I love you.
Happy Anniversary
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October 07, 2005
THAT MAKES THREE THAT I'VE BEEN SENT TO!
I just don't understand why.
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October 06, 2005
Even if you donÂ’t drink alcohol, you have to see the brilliance in this. It doesnÂ’t have to be just for alcohol. It could be used for any kind of drink. Personally, IÂ’ve lost track of the number of times I was sitting in a restaurant or bar waiting for a waitress/waiter to come and get me a refill.
Hats off to Matthias Hahnen and Robert Doerr, real men of genius. (I tried to find sound bites of the original commercials for "Real men of Genius". However, it appears that Annheuser-Busch has made every site that had any remove them. The only thing you can do is go to their site, log in and go to the commercials section to hear them. I can't link directly to their commercials page.)
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The problem is that we seem to be coming out of our drought as we are getting more and more rain. Which is good, but itÂ’s too late for the crops. Unfortunately, this has had a negative impact in my yard. The first being that the grass (read weeds) has started growing rather rapidly. Secondly, every time I went to mow it would rain on me. IÂ’m not giving up football/re-enacting/shooting just to mow my lawn.
Last night it was perfect time finally to mow the lawn. It was a little warm, in the 80Â’s, but they werenÂ’t calling for rain until much later. However, I decided that the mild-mannered Contagion was not going to be the one to mow the lawn. Not this time, this time we were going to call forth that seasoned veteran of many a household campaign, General Contagion. You may remember him from the press conference after his overwhelming victory against the invading insect armies.
General Contagion first reconnoitered the battlefield to determine the best attack. He came up with a variation of Agent Orange, but that was vetoed by the Queen (Ktreva, we live in a dictatorship in the Contagion household, just ask the kids). She had some worries that in his fervor General Contagion would “accidentally” kill off her precious flowers and plants she has around the house. (For the record General Contagion made this comment, “They’re going to die in a couple of weeks anyway!”).
After surveying the weapons at his disposal, he came up with a plan to purchase some larger mobile artillery to get the job done, preferably something self-propelled with twin blades and a seat. However, due to recent budget cuts, he could not afford to make the purchase. General Contagion was then reduced to his third option. An old-fashioned foot war, the kind that he had not experienced since the Battle of Blackhawk Springs the winter of Â’88. It was his first command opportunity and a suicide plan, many a soldier was lost due to inadequate planning by superiors and a lack of equipment. General Contagion hoped this would not be a repeat of that tragic month long battle.
Checking out the equipment at hand, the general was pleased to see that all of it was in a well-maintained and fighting condition. First, the general started with some black ops. Again, his hatred of the UN and Geneva Convention prevailed when he found a supply of bio-chemical toxins (Roundup) left over from a battle the previous year. While the Queen was occupied with her subjects (aka the kids), a massive chemical strike was made against the enemy troops in the hard to reach area’s. We do regret to inform that in the General’s bloodlust some innocent flowers were “accidentally” eradicated.
Next General Contagion brought forth his armored division attack the front lines. It was a tough battle, taking its toll on both sides. The General, understanding the enemyÂ’s troops out numbered him at about 93,487,529,865 to 1, attacked with an aggressive abandon that is only seen from Hollywood these days. The toll on his resources was more then what was anticipated. Three large body lawn bags were needed just for the smaller front yard. In part, this was due to the enemyÂ’s use of mercenary soldiers. The discovery of Zea Mays of the Poaceae family (field corn, IÂ’m not kidding there was corn growing in my yard!) amongst the enemy.
Once the smaller battlefield was cleared of enemy troops, the General focused his attention on the larger battlefield. Here the enemy troops were larger and stronger. They also had their own artillery (More small treesÂ… WTF is with these trees? They are all over my lawn!)
Stopping for a quick resupplying and maintenance of his mobile artillery General Contagion was prepared to proceed as planned. Setting the throttle to full, General Contagion started a blitzkrieg. Except for a surprise flanking attack by some heavy artillery, the battle went smoothly. (Dang trees and shrubs along the property line kept poking and scratching me. Also, Clone left a super ball in the yard. Have you ever seen what happens when one of those things is introduced to the spinning blades of a lawn mower? Let me just say IÂ’m damn glad the bag was mostly filled with grass clippings when I hit the ball!) After 45 minutes of action, only stopping to dispose of the remains, General Contagion walked away victorious.
At the following press conference, the General had this to say, “Today the ever victorious army once again marched upon the enemy successfully. There were no reported losses to our forces and only some minor injuries. Enemy forces were completely and utterly annihilated. There is at least one civilian enemy loss that we are aware of at this time. It was a matter of that civilian being in the wrong place. I do not regret any decision made in fighting this war.”
When confronted with the use of biochemical toxins early on in the war, General Contagion responded with, “I decided that the use of (biochemical toxins) was the most efficient weapon in the locations that were difficult to reach with out a significant risk to the safety of our own troops. It was made clear to me that the use of biochemical toxins was discouraged. At the time the original decision was made we did not know all the facts. If the tree-hugging enviro-hippies are worried about the damage done to the environment with the use of these weapons, then next time they can come and do the dirty work themselves… It’s not like they bathe anyway!”
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October 05, 2005
Remember ladies (And ladies only!), If you are interested in becoming a Mortar Maiden, we are always looking for volunteers!
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This morning she tells me she has to get a new bra today and wants to run on lunch to pick it up. Since it was morning and my brain was still groggy, I blindly told her, “Sure, anything you want.” If it had been even two hours later, I would have thought about it and found some reason not to go. You need to understand that we work together, different departments, and we generally go to lunch together. This means I have to go with her, we both rode in my truck. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but it was were she wanted to go that bothers me.
The Mall. I blame ArmyWifeToddlerMom for this; I left a comment on a post earlier today stating I was glad it was she and not I that had to go to the mall. Karma came back and bit me yet again. IÂ’m really starting not to like Karma, I think I need to sick my dogma on it!
The Mall is the second vilest place on the face of the earth. There are things I would rather do then go to the mall, this list includes dental work, drive through Chicago at rush hour and go see a Packer game in Philadelphia (Philies fanÂ’s treat visiting team fans the worst then any other home team fans). When Ktreva told me she wanted to go to the Mall I actually felt an icy grip on my stomach grab and twist. Trying as hard as possible, I tried to convince her to go anywhere elseÂ… Target, Kohls, K-Mart, even Walmart to no avail. What she said next is what almost made me scream in horror.
Ktreva, “We have to go to the mall because I only buy bras from Victoria’s Secret.”
Me: (Falling to my knees, eyes widened in fear, head turned to the heavens) “NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo! Oh Jebus! Why?!?!?!”
This was a double whammy. VictoriaÂ’s Secret is probably my number 5 most vile place on Earth. The mall being the second most vile place on Earth is pretty bad, throw in ClitoriaÂ’s Secretion VictoriaÂ’s Secret and this is pure hell, and not the good hell, but the bad hell. You know the really bad hell, watching Lifetime movies instead of football hell. I despise having to go into that store. Just like a Jeff Foxworthy routine, bad things happen to me. Today was no different.
We arrive at the mall and I can feel my pulse start to rise. Everything is okay, no urges to run back to my truck… yet. The mall isn’t very crowded at all, so we are able to make our way quickly to the store. Don’t get me wrong there are still too many people there for my comfort. Confirmation that my “mall” face is on when I make eye contact with a local cop patrolling the mall and HE averts his eyes and changes the direction he is walking. The crowd of on coming people parts around me like a school of fish avoiding a shark. Then we arrive at the store.
There it is in all of its pink glory with tables and displays of braÂ’s and panties. They pick some of the most interesting colors of pink. I still donÂ’t understand why they use pink; itÂ’s not a good color for a store. ItÂ’s not as if they have to make sure people understand itÂ’s feminine. Bras and panties are for women, I have yet to meet a man that wears them. That I know ifÂ… (Eyes Bad Example Family closely). The doors to this pinkish hell are wide-open, inviting people in. The glass on both doors is reflecting the pink interior giving it a resemblance of the labia, opened and inviting you to enter.
In we walk
Ktreva finds the bra style she wants. How many different styles of bras do females need? By all that is good and right in the world IÂ’m not kidding when I say they had at least 100 different styles. IÂ’m not talking different colors, but different styles. Every way I turned my head in this pink hell there was a different style of bra staring me in the face!
After picking the size she wants, she goes to try it on. This leaves me alone. First I waited outside fitting room area, but the women going in and out kept giving me strange looks, so I decided to go else where in the store. Then one of the clerks comes up and asks if she can help me find anything. I tell her no, IÂ’m waiting for my wife. Other female customers start eyeing me as they enter the store. Okay, they think IÂ’m some pervert. To ease my discomfort I start checking out the quality of the lighting fixtures.
Where is my wife?!?! She sure is taking her sweet time! Another clerk comes up and asks me if I need any assistance to which I reply, “Nope, just waiting on my wife. By the way you might want to have an electrician check out those lighting fixtures, they are flickering and may have a short.” With a grin of satisfaction on her face, she tells me she’ll advise the manager and walks away. Some of the other customers are walking around and I hear a voice behind me say, “Excuse me sir…” I quickly interrupt with a yelping, “I’M WAITING FOR MY WIFE!” Sweat is starting to bead on my forehead, my pulse is probably around 165, and I can hear the blood flowing in my ears. The customer laughingly tells me she wanted to look at some panties and would like me to move.
I move out of her way and return to my examination of ceiling tiles. This time when I hear a voice behind me asking if they can help me, I about jump out of my skin. What the hell! We could NOT have been in there that long. These clerks are screwing with me! I curtly reply that I am fine and just waiting for my wife to try on an outfit. I like to test drive before I buy. My comment was not appreciated. Once again, I return to staring at the ceiling. What happened next is the truth, there was a flash and I heard the sound of a Polaroid camera. I whip around and the three clerks are huddled together talking and glancing in my direction smirking. Finally, my wife comes out, apparently, her jubberlies have grown and she had to try on different bras to get just the right fit.
She decides she is going to pick up two, one white and one pink (thereÂ’s that damn color again!). They go to ring her up and each bra is $50.00. FIFTY DOLLARS A BRA! Son of a goat! These arenÂ’t even sexy bras, these are plain, no frills, and the woman looks better nekked bras! I could understand $50.00 for a bra if it was leather and had metal studs or if it was lacey and came with a pair of crotchless panties! However, this is what she wants so okay, two $50.00 brasÂ… I donÂ’t want to hear a complaint the next time I buy something pricey. I can get a three pack of my underwear for $10.00! Boxers ladies, and I wear a kilt, and work boots. ThatÂ’s right, swoon now! 
We finally leave the store; she is carrying this little pink bag that defies the laws of physics. There is no way in hell they folded both bras into this bag, yet somehow they did. People are now staring at me; apparently, a flyer with my picture was passed around the mall warning of a pervert hanging out in VictoriaÂ’s Secret. I needed to go some place just to calm down. My heart is pounding like an air hammer and it looks like I just stepped out of a shower. Quickly I pull my wife into the sports memorabilia store to look at what they have. When IÂ’m able to get my breathing and heartbeat back to normal (Normal for being in the mall that is), we left.
My wife is laughing at me the whole way back to work; she insists it was my imagination. I tell her I saw the flash from the Polaroid when they took my picture! She is adamant that IÂ’m just being paranoid. I think they added me to a book they have under the counter of possible sex offenders!
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Then to make matters worse IÂ’m tied for 6th place in the pool. Last year I was in the leading three positions the entire year AND ended up winning. Not this year, IÂ’m four games behind. The standings are as follows:
1st: Sensational Simians (A minion) 38
2nd: Packer Chick (Ktreva, my wife) 36, Quality Weenie (Machelle) 36
4th: Joe Viking (Hypodermic Scorpion) 35, OgreÂ’s Picks (Ogre) 35, T1G (T1G, you never would have guessed, right?) 35
7th: ContagionÂ’s Pack Attack (Me, again, you never would have guessed) 34, Ass KickinÂ’ Chickens (Spurs, which it took me 3 weeks to figure out) 34
9th: KingR (Husband of a minion) 33
10th: Raider Nation (A minion) 28
11th: Metrosexual Ballers (A Minion) 22 (Poor ‘tard forgot to make his picks on week)
With only four of the 17 weeks down, there is a lot of room for improvement and change in these rankings.
However if things donÂ’t start turning around quickly IÂ’m going to have a long season, especially with the Packers. Living in Illinois and being a Packer fan is hard enough as it is, when they are having a losing season it is even worse. Throw in the fact that I work for a company that has VERY strong ties to the Chicago Bears. My life has been a living hell at work. I get calls almost daily from Bear fans bragging up their better record. I hate to break this to them, ItÂ’s a one game lead, itÂ’s still a losing record AND the Bears havenÂ’t even done their bi-annual regular season changing of the QB yet. This doesnÂ’t matter to most Bear fansÂ… as long as they have a better record then the Packers they are happy. Not all Bear fans are that way; IÂ’ve met one or two that can be classyÂ… when they want.
But if my Packers are going to continue to play like crap, the football gods could at least make me have a good season in Fantasy or the pool. Especially since in the pool, at the end of the season IÂ’m buying the winner a small football related prize of the team of their choice. There is a chance I might have to buy a Chicago Bear item, and that goes against my ethic. (Notice singular)
Update: I corrected T1G to have 35 points, not 34 as he pointed out in the comments. Typical Bear fan, whining about 1 point just so as not to be tied with a Packer fan. 
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October 04, 2005
It was decided that they where going to give the Customer Service Reps in our company a merit promotion. Meaning they move up one pay grade. As part of this they are creating a new position, Customer Service Technician. We currently have technicians, but now the CSRs will be the same level as them, so they are creating a special position for the Technicians in the Customer Service arena. The current technicians in customer service we have will need to apply for their jobs. However, they are not guaranteed to get the position. If they donÂ’t, then the company will find them another position of the same level, which probably means they will become CSRs.
This has my current technicians all worried about what is going to happen to them because they donÂ’t want to go back to being CSRs. The other technicians that arenÂ’t in the customer service arena are pissed because they basically feel that are being under appreciated and that they did all this work to be promoted only to have it negated by this change. The CSRs will be the same level as the regular Technicians.
The rest of the employees are under the impression that not only are they not appreciated, but that the company doesnÂ’t care about them. From talking to many of them, it is clear they donÂ’t understand what is going on. ItÂ’s not that they company doesnÂ’t appreciate them, the company is admitting that they were under appreciating the Customer Service arena and is trying to make up for it. The company decided that for the amount and type of work that the CSRs do, they were not being justly compensated. IE they were overworked and underpaid for the demands put upon them. People just donÂ’t understand that. I happen to agree with corporateÂ’s assessment, to a point. They may have encompassed positions that didnÂ’t warrant the change.
But there is a problem with corporateÂ’s plan. They didnÂ’t include everyone in the Customer Service arena. The support staff that assists the CSRs and technicians was completely and utterly ignored. Their peers in the different arenas have to know a fraction of what they do AND they arenÂ’t required to know as many systems as the support staff in customer service. They basically do twice the work as their peers, yet are paid the same. Three of my minions fall into this category and to be honest, they have every right to be pissed off. Prior to the CSRÂ’s getting this promotion they didnÂ’t really mind, now they do.
Morale has bottomed out in every area outside the CSR arena. To make matters worse the CSRs are loudly and tactlessly talking about their “raises” to everyone. This is only pissing off the others. Most of the other management is basically telling others to “deal with it.” I however am trying to do damage control. A pissed employee is a bad employee. I’m trying to sooth those that I can in hopes of not taking a production hit today. However, that is not looking too good for me. As for my three minions that received the short end of the stick, I feel very bad for them. I’m trying to see if I can’t get this rectified, however it doesn’t look like I’m going to have any success.
I just hope tempers cool off here shortly. ThereÂ’s been too much talk of quitting and the refusal to do tasks by the employees. If they donÂ’t we may end up doing a lot of training here in the next couple of months.
Posted by: Contagion at
04:14 PM
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October 03, 2005
Over at The Sneeze we have the latest episode of Steve, Don't eat that! This time the food of choice is Silk Worm Pupas.
If you haven't read any of the Steve, Don't eat that! series you really should go read them all. These posts are hilarious.
Posted by: Contagion at
04:43 PM
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I donÂ’t celebrate my birthday. If someone gives me a gift, I tend to politely decline it and advise I donÂ’t celebrate my birthday. Crude comments and gestures were made to people that did wish me a happy birthday, especially friends that should know better. For years IÂ’ve hated my birthday, for the days leading up to it my stomach churns with dark bile of despair knowing that someone is going to try to do something. Then when the day comes, it generally is one of the worst days of the year. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. ItÂ’s like a bad day from hell, every year. I can count on it and it will happen.
People have told me it was my attitude, that I create this day of hell. Thinking maybe they where correct, I tried changing my attitude to see what happens. That failed miserably, that was one of the worse BirthdayÂ’s IÂ’ve had in years.
Before any of you old folks out there start trying to make this a denial of age thing, itÂ’s not. The last time I celebrated my birthday was when I was 21, and only because I wanted to go out and get drunkÂ… legally. Even before then I didnÂ’t celebrate my 20th B-day.
I used to look forward to my birthday, the fun and special treatment for the day. Then one year, when I turned 18, everyone forgot. EVERYONE, not one “Happy Birthday”, not a card, gift or anything. It took two weeks before anyone ever realized what happened, and that was my mother. Through all the excuses and apologies, she said it wouldn’t happen again. Flash forward one year, I’m a freshman in college. I’m turning 19; my birthday comes and goes with the same lack of recognition. I was sure people would remember this year, because they forgot the year before. Nope. This time however, it only took about a week before someone remembered; this time it was my sister.
On both days I had various things happen that were just miserable. The kind of things that in the grand scheme of life arenÂ’t horrible, but are enough to ruin a day. Some of my favorite examples are: Plumbing explosion, being assigned menial tasks at work, car breaking down in the middle of nowhere w/no phone, etc.
Since then I decided that I was not going to recognize or celebrate my birthday. It makes life easy on my wife because she doesnÂ’t have to worry about shopping or buying me anything. She doesnÂ’t have to plan anything or do something special. We just go about our day as if itÂ’s any other day.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish sending some “Frag off” e-mails.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:59 PM
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Yep, it was broke, as soon as I picked it up the tray that holds the 5-disc changer just slide right open. It should not do that. I opened it up to see if it was something, I could fixÂ… nope motor fried. Time to go buy a new DVD player. Off we run to electronic stores looking for a new DVD player. When we arrived we noticed that I could get a home theater system w/DVD for just a little more then I was willing to spend on a good DVD player, so we did some more shopping and ended up spending over twice as much as I had originally intended. I kept deciding if I was going to get a home theater system, it needed more gadgets and functions.
When we got home, Graumagus was there. We planned to go shooting, he arrived a little earlier then I thought he would, but thatÂ’s okay. He helped me carry the home theater system in the house. Then it was off to go throw lead down the range. Fortunately, the range wasnÂ’t too far from my house. Just as we arrived, I realized I had not grabbed my powder horn and I didnÂ’t think I had enough powder in my shooting box for the day. Grau was about to make fun of my stupidity when it dawned on him that he left his powder horn in his van back at my house. After making the trip home and back, we were able to get in an hour and a half of shooting. Since we were practicing, we only shot at 25 yards. My weapon was my .75 caliber Brown Bess smooth bore musket, for those of you that have never fired a gun, let alone a flintlock, and especially a smooth boreÂ… 25 yards may seem a short distance, but thatÂ’s a hard shot when you havenÂ’t had a lot of practice.
It wasn’t the tightest cluster I could have gotten, but I had five and a half of the rounds in the black. All but two of my shots would have been a kill, one was low and right and the other didn’t even hit the backdrop. I flinched really badly when I fired that round. All I know is that large caliber round balls make a lot of noise flying through a forest. Speaking of large caliber round balls, I still love getting to the range and hearing someone exclaim, “God your balls are huge!” It just puts a smile on my face.
Since my musket doesn’t have sites, I have to aim along the barrel. The barrel is wider at the breech then at the muzzle; I have to improvise how I aim. This includes attempting to use my bayonet lug as a front site. This makes me constantly miss to the right. By the end of the day, I had compensated enough to be able to hit the center by aiming to the left of it by a good 6 inches. As we were leaving Grau made the observation that the reason I pull to the right is because, “(I) carry my heavy arse shooting box with (my) right arm making it shorter then (my) left.” My shooting box weighs about 20 pounds; each bullet is 1.26 ounces of lead.
I was home in time to watch the Viking/FalconÂ’s game. Grau helped me dispose of some extra Beer I had on hand. After the game Grau took off and I started assembling the home theater system. I discovered that doing this while I had been drinking probably was not the best idea IÂ’ve had. Electricity, alcohol and me donÂ’t make a good combination. No, I didnÂ’t get hurt and the system works just fine. It just took longer then it should have. In addition, there was trouble hooking up our digital cable.
I’m just going to say now that Insight Communications sucks! The digital cable box they gave me doesn’t have the digital output to run to the home theater system. When I called them today to find out what was going on they advise me that in order to get “true digital” service I need a different box that costs $15.00 more a month. $15.00 more just so I can have my Digital Surround Sound? That is bullshite! Add that to the fact, they have raised our rates over $11.00 a month since May, and they wonder why people are leaving them in droves.
So this means I have faux digital? ItÂ’s like digital in that it costs more, but it isnÂ’t really digital because you canÂ’t have any of the features of digital. If I didnÂ’t watch a lot of channels you canÂ’t get with out a service, IÂ’d drop cable all together. IÂ’ve looked into dishes, but IÂ’m not convinced that they are any better.
Needless to say, IÂ’m not going to have surround sound coming from my cable, only from my DVDÂ’s. I canÂ’t justify paying an additional $15.00 a month just so I can have better sound.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:49 PM
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