Okay, day two of the new Contagion. What has gone down so far?

1) Shopping for food that has no fat, low sodium and is something I want to eat is difficult.

2) Day two of no caffeine and IÂ’m ready to kill people. I canÂ’t drink any colored soft drinks, anything with caffeine or anything with sugar. That leaves me with water, unless I want to drink whisky all day, which I may just start doing. All IÂ’ve had to drink over the last two days is water and 24 oz of beer. The water at work tastes like morning breath.

3) For the first time in my life I poured perfectly good beer down the drain. It wasnÂ’t even a beer I hated, but beer I really liked. Why? Because I was past my two beer limit and the bottle couldnÂ’t be resealed.

4) Want to know why Americans are fat? It’s because “healthy”, “good for you” foods are almost twice as expensive as regular food. Think I’m kidding; go shopping for “healthy” lunch meats and breads. The other reason is that the amount of time it takes to turn something “healthy” into something palatable takes forever and it still doesn’t taste as good as a bacon cheeseburger and fries that only take 15 minutes to cook. It took me 1.5 hours to cook last night’s dinner and I still would have rather had the burger and fries.

5) If one more person mistakes why I’m eating “healthier” for me going on a diet, I’m going to reach down their throat and rip out a chunk of their lower intestine. If it was up to me, I’d still be eating and drinking the same stuff. It’s because I’m trying to keep my insides from jellifying that I’ve changed my eating habits.

So there you have it. Now youÂ’ll excuse me while I go eat some baby carrots and cucumber slices.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:30 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 334 words, total size 2 kb.