How pathetic does one person have to be to dedicate a web page to their girlfriend? When I hear that the first thing I think of is some High School kid who is in his first relationship with a girl. Then I think, hey we have a future stalker here. At first I thought this was just one person, then I did a Google Search for “This page is dedicated to my girlfriend”.

Holy farking nightmare boyfriends! Ladies, please fill me in, if your man did something like this for you, would you appreciate it? I mean, do you find this romantic or creepy?

However, if you think you might want to make one of these. At least do it properly. HereÂ’s a website on How to Dedicate a Webpage to Your Girlfriend. I think itÂ’s important to make note of the first guideline. Guideline # 1 ~ Make sure you actually have a girlfriend.

What is the world coming to? I wish we could go back to the good olÂ’ days of finding women. Offer her father two cows and a goat for the pretty daughter and tell him you know a guy that will give the same for the ugly one because heÂ’s desperate.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:22 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Since the Fourth of July is rapidly approaching, I thought I would include this little cautionary tale. Originally I found this clip over at College Humor. (The site itself is NSFW, you never know what youÂ’re going to have displayed).

This is why States like Illinois have laws banning fireworks. Idiots like these help support the governments belief that people can’t think for themselves and need to be told what to do. I mean seriously people; in what world would anyone think this is a good idea? You know that if the kid getting shot got hurt, his parents would be petitioning the lawmakers to make a law banning fireworks or making it a felony to shoot them at someone. Then they would name the law after the boy, the “Farking idiot that doesn’t have the common sense to not let his friend shoot him with Roman candle” Law. Then all the responsible, firework-loving citizens of the state would suffer. As the fireworks would get banned or you need a special license to buy them, people would go out of state to procure their fiery fun. Then they would make another law, the “People are buying fireworks out of state, bringing them back and lighting them, so we need to ban the setting off of fireworks” law.

Then the cops will be able to confiscate all the ill-gotten fireworks. And issue tickets to help bolster the local economy. Trust me, I have experience with this.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:19 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Dammit! I took the day off of work to have the Air Conditioner installed. I made sure the electrical was all up and working so there would be no problems. I even made sure that I cleaned out the area the unit was going to go and kept it clean. Since I was going to be home, I kept Clone for the day. No need taking him to the sitter if DaddyÂ’s going to be home.

All was going well, I woke up early to make sure I was ready for them. I made a special breakfast for Clone and I. Just as I was sitting down to type up a post, the phone rings. ItÂ’s from the contractor. They canÂ’t come today. Mother Farker! It pissed me off. I scheduled this day two weeks ago just to make sure there wouldnÂ’t be any problems. I took the time off of work to have this done. They call the farkinÂ’ day of the installation and want to reschedule.

Contractor: “Mr. Contagion. I’m sorry, but we are not going to be able to come out today to install the air conditioner. We’re going to need to reschedule.”

Me, “Wait… you’re calling me the day of the installation to tell me you can’t come? I took the day off of work to be here.”

Contractor: “I’m really sorry, when is the next available day we can come to install it?”

Me, “Tomorrow.”

Contractor: “… Tomorrow is Saturday.”

Me, “Yes it is, but I took today off of work to have this done. If you had told me yesterday I could have gone into work today and not lost the time. I won’t be able to take another day off in a while due to other peoples vacations. So it’s either tomorrow, or I cancel and go with another company.”

Contractor: “We’ll be out tomorrow. Is the same time okay?”

Me, “Yes, yes it is.”

Maybe I was being a bit of an asshole to the guy. I just don’t care. Too many people anymore don’t realize that other people work. If you want us to do something in the middle of the week, we can’t just leave work or tell them, “Hey, I’m not coming in.” Well I guess you could, but you’d be jobless pretty damn quick. I know I wouldn’t be this irritated if they had called me yesterday and said something, but they didn’t. They called me late this morning. I just find that highly unacceptable.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:16 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Almost two months ago I made a post regarding video clips of people putting Mentos into diet pop (Yes, pop. Not soda, not coke, but pop!) and making fountains. At that time I had asked title the post, “Oh the possibilities.” I was thinking along the lines of practical jokes and things like that. Well two guys decided to take the idea to a level that just baffles the mind as to why.

Click to watch video

What happens when you combine 200 liters of Diet Coke and over 500 Mentos mints? It's amazing and completely insane.

The first part of this video demonstrates a simple geyser, and the second part shows just how extreme it can get. Over one hundred jets of soda fly into the air in less than three minutes.

It's a hysterical and spectacular mint-powered version of the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas, brought to you by the mad scientists at EepyBird.com.

ItÂ’s amusing, but it is a large file. I wish I had $200 to $300 to throw down the drainÂ… or spill onto the ground.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:25 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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