Right now Ktreva isnÂ’t speaking to me. SheÂ’s very upset at a decision IÂ’ve made. Today the Rock River Raptors are having open try-outs, and after much deliberation IÂ’ve decided to try out. For those of you that donÂ’t remember, the Raptors are the local United Indoor Football league team that I support.

Every time I watch a football game I see guys on the field and I think to myself, I can block better then that. Now I know the NFL players would kill me, but this is the UIF. These are the guys that werenÂ’t good enough to make the NFL, CFL or even the AFL. I actually stand a chance against these guys. So IÂ’m going to try to get a position on the line, offensive or defensive.

Sure I havenÂ’t played football in 17 years, IÂ’m out of shape and have some medical problems, but next year I will be too old to try out. If IÂ’m going to do it, this is the year. In about two hours IÂ’m going to head down to the MetroCentre and try to walk onto the team. Right now Ktreva is giving me a laundry list of reasons for why I shouldnÂ’t do it. Mainly because IÂ’m out of shape, have some medical problems, will probably create some new medical problems and IÂ’m just too old for this type of nonsense. She mentioned how I canÂ’t bounce back from injuries like I used to do. Bah! What does she know anyway?

On a slightly related note, IÂ’ve heard from numerous people that the Raptors have a commercial with me in it. From what IÂ’ve been told they focus on me at one point when IÂ’m cheering the team during a game. I have yet to see this commercial, so IÂ’m not sure how big of a dork I actually look like.

Well, IÂ’m going to go get ready and argue with Ktreva some more. Wish me luck! And I promise to give you an update later on how I did.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:12 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Tonight after work I went out and did my civic duty and voted. Of course we had a dogÂ’s dinner choice for some of the positions. Now I know many people scoff at me for this, but being an Independent, I didnÂ’t feel the need to vote for either party in certain races. Thus I did the only other thing I could, I wrote in people I felt would do a better job.

For Governor of Illinois: Myself. Hell, whatÂ’s the worst I could do? Looking at the choices, I figured I couldnÂ’t screw things up much worse then either of them can or have.

For Congress: I wrote in General John Borling. I donÂ’t agree with all of his platforms, but I agree with him on more then the other two. Plus I agree with his stance that both the Republicans and Democrats are out for themselves. In this race IÂ’d just love to see him actually place high enough to send a loud message to both parties in this state. According to a radio interview I heard a Republican or Democrat needs 600 signatures to get on the ballot, other parties need 900, however an Independent needs 16,000. Instead of wasting money and time he decided to run a write in-campaign. I may be off on the number of votes as it was two weeks ago I heard the interview, but it was some ridiculous larger number of signatures he would need.

For Illinois General Assembly: I wrote in Ktreva. The incumbent, Chuck Jefferson, ran unopposed and I donÂ’t agree with the man on nearly every point of his politics. Thus it was either write someone in or donÂ’t vote for that race at all.

For the School Superintendent: I wrote in my buddy Wes. IÂ’d like to see him in charge of the schools. It could get interesting. Again there was only one name on the ballot, and I didnÂ’t like the choice.

So there you have it people. If you donÂ’t like the candidates you can write people in. Is it throwing your vote away? Yea, it probably is. However, if enough people do it, maybe it will send up a red warning flag that we want real candidates and not the idiots that are being put forth in their place.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:09 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 You voted... that's the important thing. But I do like your choices. I think you'd make a spendid governor... not just "do better" than the two pretty lame choices. You'd rock! You should've campaigned on your blog. :-)

Posted by: Teresa at November 07, 2006 07:23 PM (o4pJS)

2 Heh. Me, School Superintendent....

My acceptance speech would start out something like, "I won?? What the hell were *you* thinkin'?! I didn't even know I was running!"

It would make for some fun though.... :-)

Posted by: Wes at November 07, 2006 07:59 PM (eZAe8)

3 Nahhh, he needs to shoot for president so he can recess appoint me as ambassador to the UN

Posted by: Graumagus at November 08, 2006 01:22 AM (s+Y40)

4 Obviously you're not in NC. I wrote myself in for Soil and Water Commissioner, but they throw out write-ins here.

Posted by: Ogre at November 08, 2006 09:43 AM (oifEm)

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Halloween is here. IÂ’m just taking a break from getting the house ready for the kids. Every year I decorate the house and entertain the local kids with a haunted house. The yard is done up as a graveyard, there are smoke machines, and numerous static displays. We actually have people that drive into the neighborhood just to see what we do each year. Every year I try to take pictures at night, unfortunately they never turn out very well. This year I took pictures during the day just so you can get an idea of some of the stuff we do.

I hope everyone has a Happy and Safe Halloween. Oh, and before I forget. If you scare anyone, I want stories.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:02 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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IÂ’m sorry itÂ’s taken me so long to update, IÂ’ve had an interesting time over the last couple of days. Right now IÂ’m not going to go into detail about the re-enactment, but I will regale with a tale that started out at the event. Saturday night while trying to avoid hypothermia from the bone chilling cold rain and wind my eyeglasses broke. That wasnÂ’t that big of a deal as IÂ’m far-sighted and only really need the glasses to see anything closer than arms length to my face. In other words with out my glasses if I canÂ’t old the print out far enough, then I just canÂ’t read it.

This only presented a problem when trying to do things like read the gages on my truck, or anything on a computer. My old glasses wouldnÂ’t even hold a lens and stay on my face come Monday morning. Fortunately I had Monday off. I took Boopie to school, hit the bank to make a deposit. As a side note I think the tellers had a lot of fun watching me try to fill out a deposit slip. With out my glasses IÂ’m writing it at arms-length. Ever try to fill out a deposit slip at arms length? Fortunately the teller took pity on my and offered to do it for me. Which I was grateful for and annoyed about at the same time, I hate it when I canÂ’t do things for myself. Since I had given myself a headache trying to fill it out, I let myself be dotted on like a senile old man.

After the bank I went to the mall. It had the only Lens Crafters near me that could do glasses in an hour. I couldnÂ’t go a week with out my glasses. When I get to the mall, I realize IÂ’m about 40 minutes early. All the stores are closed and the only people there are mall walkers, you know the people that do laps around the mall for exercise. Not wanting to sit around like some kind of store stalker, I decided to be the youngest old person there. I started doing laps around the mall. Hell, I was partially blind anyway.

When the store opened, they wouldnÂ’t just get me new glasses. Since itÂ’s been three years since my last eye exam, they wanted to do a new one to make sure nothing had changed. Eh, it needed to be done anyway. They did a quick repair of my old glasses just so I could take the tests. This is what we learned during the exam. A) IÂ’m still partially colorblind. 2) I have 60/20 vision at distances. I can see at 60 feet what most normal people can see at 20. C) IÂ’m damn near legally blind at less then 2.5 feet from my face. I completely failed the up close reading test. I only got the first line right, E, and thatÂ’s because I guessed. It was blurry and could have been an E, 8, H, 6, 9, 5, 2, or R. But since most eye charts start with an E, thatÂ’s what I said. Then I admitted I could just barely make it out.

Then to make things worse they had to check the inside of my eye, so they gave me these drops that made my eyes dilate. That was fun; they warned me my vision was going to be blurry for a while after. While the drops took affect, they sent me out to pick out frames. As my vision quickly deteriorated I had to pick out frames. Do you know how hard it is to pick out frames when you canÂ’t see? Fortunately they have a 30-day money back guarantee, because I think I picked out frames I like, but I really couldnÂ’t see to tell you the truth.

With frames picked out they told me that since I wanted the UV protection, glare resistant lenses it would take a week to get them. Apparently the glasses in an hour thing only apply if you get cheap frames and the minimalist of lenses. Again I explained I couldnÂ’t wait a week for my new glasses, as I needed them right away. The girl helping me said she would have my old frames repaired for free as a temporary fix. She told me that if they didnÂ’t last until I received my new glasses, they would even set me up with a temporary pair using my old lenses.

The whole time I’m going through this, my eyesight is worsening. Finally they call me back in for the final part of the exam. Alls well, my prescription hasn’t changed that much and other than my myopia, my eyes are fine. Then I ask how long before my vision comes back. The doctor tells me “three hours.” WHAT?!?!?!?! I drove myself here; I can’t wait around the mall for three hours until my vision returns to normal. I’ll go insane! The doctor offers to give me some drops that will help restore the vision quicker, but she warns me that it stings pretty badly. Hey, I don’t care. I’ll take the physical pain over the mental pain of being in the Mall longer than I need to be.

Well the doctor wasnÂ’t laying the restoration drops stung worse than campfire smoke in the eyes, but it was worth it. I only had to wait around the mall for an additional 30 minutes. By the time I returned home, I had a headache that wouldnÂ’t go away. By the time everything returned to normal and the headache went completely away it was late in the day.

Anyway, thatÂ’s why I havenÂ’t posted until now.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:25 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I've never had trouble driving with my eyes dialated - Sun glasses are a must but otherwise it's okay. I wonder if it's because you're primarily far sighted.

Otherwise how are you?

Posted by: Teresa at October 24, 2006 10:02 PM (o4pJS)

2 When I went last year they told me that if my near-sightedness gets just a tiny bit worse most eyeglass places will have to special order the lenses because no one stocks them that strong.

Oh joy.

Posted by: Graumagus at October 25, 2006 02:20 AM (b1qlW)

3 You should have spit some of your venom in the doctor's eyes and laughed maniacally. BTW how is your mutant transformation going?

Posted by: shawn at October 25, 2006 04:28 PM (4Df8Z)

4 This seriously changes the entire scope of your superheroness. Now you're a blind, venom-spitting, senile old mall-walker. Super Blind Old Snake Man!

Posted by: Ogre at October 27, 2006 08:40 AM (oifEm)

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Tonight I get a call from an automated message service from my doctorÂ’s office. The results of my biopsy are in. I needed to call the message service and find out the results. When the procedure was done, they told me this is how they get the information to the patients faster. They gave me my unique identification number and had me set up a PIN.

I called the service and this is the message I received, “The results of your biopsy are inconsistent with your condition. You need to contact your doctor during the next business day.” SON OF A BEAOTCH! Yea, that was helpful. Know what that tells me? NOTHING! It actually has me worried that they found something horrible and the doctor has to break the news to me personally. All I can think right now is that I have some kind of horrible disease that is killing me slowly.

The kicker of this whole thing is that IÂ’m getting ready to leave town for the weekend, and the next day IÂ’m going to be able to call the doctor when he has office hours is Monday. That means all weekend IÂ’m going to be sitting around wondering if IÂ’m slowly dying. Which, I know IÂ’m not, if that was the case the doctorÂ’s office would have called right away, but my mind canÂ’t get off the worse case scenario.

I think IÂ’ve finally hit the stage where IÂ’m honestly worried. Up to now I figured it was nothing, weÂ’d treat it and all would be right in the world again. Now IÂ’m thinking that maybe this is something serious and maybe IÂ’m looking at the beginning of a long down fall.

Now excuse me while I go have a long conversation with my therapist, Jack DanielÂ’s.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:45 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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TheyÂ’ve been calling for it all week long. Many people didnÂ’t think it would happen, but it did. Today, we had snow. Not just a flurry, but actually accumulation. Of course not long after it stopped snowing it started to melt right away, but it was there. On the rooftops and in some yards there is still about an eighth inch of snow.

At one point it looked like a full-blown blizzard. I looked out the windows at work, and you couldnÂ’t see across the parking lot. I half expected there to be news reports of school closings. My employees where lamenting the snow. Of course following all first snows of the year, there were plenty of accidents. It seems like it takes a couple of good snows before the majority of idiots remember how to drive in the white stuff.

And while some people were lamenting the snow, I was rejoicing in it. Snow is fun; it means it’s cold, but not too cold. It’s a nice comfortable feeling that allows you to wear the flannels with out sweating your nards off. In celebration of the glorious weather, I was singing “Let it Snow” all day at work.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:57 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I actually had my procedure today. Things went much better then last time. IE, they did NOT try to stick a camera up my butt! The procedure wasnÂ’t too bad and even though IÂ’m still feeling the side effects, IÂ’m doing well.

Good: They actually found something.

Bad: They have no clue as to what the hell it is. They did a biopsy to see if they could get more information.

Bad: My esophageal ring is damaged and weakened. IE it doesnÂ’t close all the way and any stomach irritation could cause it to open and release the contents of my stomach into my esophagus. IE the vomiting. They canÂ’t fix thisÂ… but it could heal on its own in time.

Bad: I have an extremely nasty case of GERD (Gastro Esophageal Reflux Disease). I swear the doctor said that if it keeps up like this IÂ’m going to be able to spit stomach acid like a spitting cobra shoots venom. The only thing to do with this is treat it with medication.

Bad: My stomach is producing ungodly amounts of stomach acid for no reason what so ever. After not eating for 12 hours or drinking anything for 6, my stomach should have been relatively calm. From the photoÂ’s I saw it looked like some violent tumultuous pool of acid seen only in Super Hero comic books and Movies. Again, this is treatable with medicationÂ… a lot of it.

At least I know what’s going in, if not the “why” behind it.

Oh, and during the procedure they made a mistake and were able to see my black shriveled heart. IÂ’m kidding; we all know I have no heart.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:19 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Okay, so technically I could have posted an update yesterday, but I damn well didnÂ’t feel like it. Yesterday was about as productive as a blind man sorting crayons by color. Everything started off all right. I get to the doctorÂ’s office, did the check in thing, answered their questions and went to wait. I figured IÂ’d have to wait a good hour before getting in, thatÂ’s how it usually works, doesnÂ’t it? Not here, I was in talking to the nurse 20 minutes ahead of my scheduled time. That, however, is where my day starts to break down.

The nurse is asking me more questions. Well, actually she is getting clarification of my answer on the background form. This actually led to some mirth for me. The nurse says, “On the form it says you drink alcohol 2-3 times a week, how much do you drink?” Being as honest as possible I answer with, “I’ve been known to drink a case or two.” Nurse, “Over the weekend?” Me, “To be honest I’ve been known to do that in one night. Of late I’ve been drinking about a bottle of Jack Daniels over a two day span.” The nurse looked at me like I had issues.

Then she asks me if I have any medication allergies. I’m not aware of any, so I told her I didn’t. She then asked me if I was allergic to Novocain. I started off telling her no, but then I remembered an incident that happened 3 years ago at the dentist. He was doing some work on my teeth and gave me some Novocain. My bottom lip swelled up to three times its normal size. After four hours it returned to normal. It was a one time thing and I don’t know if it is an allergy or not, so I told her that. This is when I received the shock of the day. She says to me, “Do you want me to mark that as an allergy? Because we can use something else when we do the procedure or we can attempt it again if you prefer.” Me, “Why would I need Novocain?” Nurse,” They numb your sphincter before inserting the camera in your rectum.” Me, “WHAT?!?!?!?!?! I’m here for stomach problems. I know of a much shorter route to get a camera into my stomach that up my butt!” As I’m saying it I’m making a hand gesture of a camera going through my colon. (Think of someone tracing the entire large and small colon with their hand.) If I did have a Novocain allergy, I would hate to have my sphincter swell up to three times it’s normal size. I’m not thinking that would be pleasant.

The nurse looks at the file she has, “Mr., Contagion, what’s your date of birth.” I give it to her and at that point the nurse has a small chuckle and says she grabbed the file for another patient of theirs that has the same name as me but is having problems in the opposite end of the digestive tract then I do. Unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened to me in Rockford, so I get how the mistake happens. I’m just glad it’s not me that’s going to have a camera going where no man has gone, nor wants to, before. I do feel sorry for that other poor bastard.

We get that all straightened out, she gets the new file comes in and takes my blood pressure. She tells me itÂ’s up from when I saw my doctor last a couple of weeks ago. I tell her of course it is, IÂ’m in a gastroenterologists office and you just told me you wanted to stick a camera up my butt. ThatÂ’s not a soothing situation.

The doctor comes in and asks more questions, does a physical, but not a COMPLETE physical. I even made sure to remind him, stomach problems, not colon problems. Then they end up just having me do the barium test. They didnÂ’t even do the complete procedure; they just did a bunch of pre-procedure procedures to make sure they know what they are looking for. Now I have to go back in two weeks to finish.
Thus I was off my meds for 3 days, my stomach was a wreck, I feel like I swallowed a chunk of granite and I still have to go through all really rough stuff in 2 weeks. Two more weeks of wondering and speculation at what is wrong. How annoying.

At least they arenÂ’t going to stick a camera up my arse!

Posted by: Contagion at 03:03 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Last Saturday Tammi of Tammi’s world asked the question. “What’s your favorite thing about rain?” In the comments I made the statement of how relaxing a good cool fall rain is. There was nothing more relaxing than that. Then Saturday night after midnight I was out on the front porch smoking a cigarette. Ktreva had gone to bed already, and the boys were sleeping. There I stood, leaning against the railing enjoying the quiet evening air. And it was quiet. Quiet for living in the middle of a city of 150,000 people. No sirens, no planes, no yelling and even the motor vehicle traffic was almost non-existent.

The only sounds were the wind blowing through the leaves on the trees and crickets. The gentle breeze would pull the smoke off the end of the cigarette and make it dance. The thin wisps of smoke licking up into the air, twisting and twirling, dissipating until the human eye could no longer see it. The crickets played a gentle symphony to which the smoke danced. They drew their legs across each other like bows across a violin. The percussion of the leaves in the breeze complimented the crickets. Like natures orchestra, they played a haunting song. A song that cut to the heart of oneÂ’s soul and touches a person in ways they donÂ’t expect.

Their tune brought back memories. Of good times long gone and friends lost. My mind filled with images that had been forgotten. Faces and places that I hadnÂ’t thought of in at least 10 years. Times that when I reminisce with my friends, we have forgotten. All good memories that made me smile.

Â…And I was relaxed. Calmness spread over me that many people spend years and thousands of dollars trying to achieve. All my concerns and worries had vanished from me. The muscles in my neck and back had loosened from the tension that was in them earlier in the day. Clarity came to me and everything fell into place. I was relaxed more then any other time in my life.

All due to crickets.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:19 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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My damn nerves are finally kicking in. This Wednesday I’m supposed to have my little exploratory procedure done. I’m not nervous about the procedure itself, I’ve been though worse, it’s what they might find out that has me bothered. I’ve had blood work and bunch of other tests done and so far all I’m getting is, “We’d rather not speculate until we get confirmation.” Even after a thorough arse chewing they still felt, “It would be a mistake to discuss possibilities until we know more.” Gar!!!! Bastards!

I donÂ’t know whatÂ’s worse not knowing, suspecting the doctors know something and my speculating as to what it is or actually knowing.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:32 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Y'all are in my prayers, as always.

Posted by: og at September 18, 2006 06:57 PM (N99bh)

2 You're right, it's far worse when they won't tell you what they think it might be. Unfortunately with the possibility of lawsuits always in mind - I understand why they don't say anything. I don't like it, but I understand. *sigh*

Posted by: Teresa at September 18, 2006 07:36 PM (o4pJS)

3 Thinking of the 4 of you....

Posted by: Armywifetoddlermom at September 18, 2006 09:41 PM (p5nKV)

4 Not knowing's got to be the worst - you don't know what to prepare for, and your mind fills in all the empty spots with the worst that you think can possibly happen.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, and if there's *anything at all* ya'll need, just holler. I'll hear you.

Posted by: Wes at September 18, 2006 10:25 PM (hPkn9)

5 Maybe they don't want to speculate because it's really some sort of alien parasite that lives off of
Jack Daniels.

You may scoff, but at least my theory fits the available data....

All joking aside, I'm not the praying type, so I'll worry for the next few days for you.

Posted by: Graumagus at September 19, 2006 12:56 AM (50gt2)

6 **hugs** and hope all goes well.

Posted by: vw bug at September 19, 2006 09:23 AM (HVeEK)

7 I'm thinkin' of y'all.

And the not knowing is the worst part. You can't plan, you can't anything. And I know this is just stupid advice, but don't try and second guess it. You'll only work yourself up.

Posted by: Tammi at September 19, 2006 07:23 PM (Mwghf)

8 Gah.

It's Wednesday now. Hope you have lots of fun with the appointment -- I know I would, whether they wanted me to or not.

Posted by: Ogre at September 20, 2006 06:39 AM (oifEm)

9 I'll be sending positive thoughts your way today. Hang in there!

Posted by: Richmond at September 20, 2006 11:12 AM (e8QFP)

10 Prayers on the way!

Posted by: jimmyb at September 21, 2006 08:19 PM (B9vto)

11 Thoughts headed your way!

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at September 22, 2006 05:35 AM (OnWUu)

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Yesterday after the grilling fun we had an interesting development. Ktreva needed to take Boopie to the store to buy some new school clothes. She wasnÂ’t gone 5 minutes when she called the house to say that the intersection of Charles and 20th (In Rockford) was underwater. There was a car stalled out in the middle of the intersection the water was running so high. It looked like a river flowing over the road, it was pushing stalled around. Cars in parking lots were being pushed into the street. HereÂ’s a photo from her camera phone.

Charles St and 20th.
Click to enlarge.

We then found out that all the major roads around us where flooded and we couldnÂ’t go anywhere. She came home as to not risk getting caught in one of the flash floods. We noticed a huge increase of traffic on our street. We figured people were using our street as a throughway to get past all the flooded main roads. Then one after another rescue vehicles with lights and sirens kept passing the house. At first we thought there was a house fire or they where going to the hospital. One of the hospitals is on Charles Street.

Ktreva went out onto the front porch and saw that one of the trucks was just half a block away. I went running down to see what was going on. When I came to the corner I saw that they where just there doing traffic control for a bigger emergency 2 blocks north. I headed down to see what was happening. That was when I received a shock. The Fire Department Emergency Rescue Squad was unloading a boat in the street. The water had rose enough that people where trapped inside houses. It was chest deep on the firefighters. They where evacuating the neighborhood just north of my house.

To make matters worse, the water was still rising. Trying not to stay out of the way, I asked one of the firefighters in a truck if I needed to evacuate my family. He told me that the water would have to rise 5 more feet before it even got to my house, let alone blocked us in. Just to be safe I ran, literally, home and told Ktreva, “This is NOT a panic situation, this is just being prepared. I want you to go pack some clothes for yourself and the boys. There’s flooding two blocks north of us and they are evacuating that part of the neighborhood. We are currently safe, and they officials do not feel we are in any immediate threat.” Next I called Wes of Bodhran (Drum) roll, please who lives two houses down from me. I spoke with his lovely wife and advised her of the situations. Again, I told her this is not a panic situation, just be prepared.

Grabbing a camera I went to check out the street on the other side of our house. The water here was only about a block away. I quickly snapped a picture, then the camera died. Unfortunately the picture didnÂ’t turn out to well, but here is what the view was just a block from my house. If you look closely you can see cars floating. (Yes, they where floating).

Click to Enlarge

I offered my assistance to the firefighters, but the declined my help. I guess I can understand, itÂ’s been ten years since I was certified last in water rescue. Not that they knew that, I think they where more concerned about me getting in their way. The water never did reach us, in fact it wasn't long after the above picture was taken that the rain stopped and the flood starting subsiding.

I will say one thing about Mayor Morrissey, The Rockford Fire Department, The Rockford Police Department, the Winnebago County SheriffÂ’s Department and all the surrounding agencies (We saw a Loves Park water rescue vehicle in the neighbor hood as well). They did an excellent job responding. They had the situation well in hand and even though numerous families where rendered homeless, they had emergency shelters set up and ready for them.

Depending on what report you hear, some areas received between 5-12 inches of rain in under 4 hours. Of course the weathermen and newscasters played this up as “Katrina style rains” (roll eyes), but it was nasty. The officials had no forewarning the weather would be like this, or that anything of this magnitude was going to happen. And since they want to compare this gully washer to Katrina, we had better emergency response then New Orleans.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:21 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Okay, maybe I have issues. Heavy rain, still grilling. Hail, still grilling. Severe thunderstorm warning has been issued for my area; IÂ’m still outside grilling.
Then the sirens and the TV is interrupted. “The national weather service has issued a tornado warning for your area. Law Enforcement officials have spotted a tornado and radar has confirmed rotation. What do I do? Do I head to the basement? No. Do I watch the radar to see where it’s going? No. Maybe I sat out on the front porch to see if I could spot the tornado, not this guy. No, I head out the backdoor to the grill to pull the brisket off.

I spent 6 hours cooking that chunk of meat; I am NOT letting the storm get it.

BTW, it was delicious.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:03 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Just a little update for anyone who is curious about my medical conditions. My medication is starting to fail at exponential rates, foods have gotten more and more difficult to handle. Water has caused such a flair up yesterday that I was contemplating giving up any liquid intake all together. My next appointment is in a couple of weeks.

I actually took enough prescription and over the counter medication to stop all digestive movement in my bowels for two days. IE I wasnÂ’t hungry because nothing was digesting, which left another unpleasant feeling of a giant gut bomb. The only thing that seems to keep my stomach under control is Jack DanielÂ’s. Right now you are probably shaking your head in disbelief much like Ktreva and two doctors IÂ’m seeing. Look, I canÂ’t explain it. I donÂ’t know why, I donÂ’t know how but if my stomach is acting up and I drink about three fingers of Jack, it calms down and all is well with the world. The problem is that IÂ’m not allowed to drink at work.

My employees have actually started to notice something is up and have asked some questions with out breaching company policy. ItÂ’s nice to know that they are either concerned or are faking it in a misguided belief that itÂ’s protecting their jobs. Either way it makes me feel like IÂ’m doing some good there.

But now we get to the point of the title. Tonight at the store I ran through the liquor department to pick up some “medicine” (Aka Jack Daniel’s). While I was passing the refrigerator case I notice a six pack of Bass Ale sitting there calling my name. Other then my weekly beer review, I haven’t had much beer. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. I bought the six-pack and have been drinking on it for about 2 hours now.

Sure, this might be a bad idea, but I donÂ’t care. I like my beer!

Posted by: Contagion at 08:06 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Just don't dump any down the drain, you bastard.

Hope this shit clears up

Posted by: That 1 Guy at August 31, 2006 08:52 PM (8pWv9)

2 You mean like that half a case of Amber Bock because no one I knew would drink it?

Posted by: Contagion at August 31, 2006 09:01 PM (0m/ho)

3 I hate to say it, but I wonder if you should call your doctor back and let him know that you just can't eat and the meds aren't working at all. I know you like Jack... but you need a little more in the way of sustenance or you'll just keel over one day.

I'm hoping the beer stays put - at least it has B vitamins in it.

Posted by: Teresa at August 31, 2006 09:02 PM (o4pJS)

4 Oh good God. I hope that you are feeling better soon!

Posted by: Richmond at August 31, 2006 09:27 PM (e8QFP)

5 DUDE. Go to the doctor. Do not pass go. If you are that fucked up in the gut, and the meds aren't helping you NEED to go in a lot sooner than in a couple of weeks.

If you're not eating or passing waste you could have some serious shit happen FAST. Especially if you're also not drinking enough water....

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 01, 2006 12:06 AM (r0kgl)

6 Dude I drink Amber Bock all the time - I don't remember any free offers for a half case of it being out there
And honestly the Jack is probably hurting more than helping overall - the alcohol is probably just working as some kinda numbing agent.

Posted by: Shadoglare at September 01, 2006 06:52 AM (QLQ2w)

7 Maybe you should go to a different doc.
Something is amiss.

We want you around here for a long time.
M'kay?

Posted by: jimmyb at September 01, 2006 11:36 AM (D4G2Y)

8 Eh, you folks worry way too much about nothing.

Posted by: Contagion at September 01, 2006 04:20 PM (0m/ho)

9 Even if Shadoglare didn't drink the stuff, Richmond does. You didn't even offer to them... you were so intent on hurting me.

*sniff*

Posted by: t1g at September 01, 2006 06:36 PM (A3OUN)

10 The beer is good. It counts as "bread," right?

Posted by: Ogre at September 06, 2006 10:24 AM (oifEm)

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All right, there are just enough people out there that know about a secret IÂ’ve been keeping that I feel I might as well just talk about it. Ever since I was in College IÂ’ve had persistent ulcers. Treated with medication it was under control. There were still certain things I couldnÂ’t eat because it would cause a flair up, but nothing serious. In June I started having more persistent problems as well as acid reflux. I would vomit for no good reason and occasionally there was blood in it.

Being the stubborn arse that I am, I just put it off to ulcers. That was until after vacation when the constant heart burn, acid reflux and vomiting went of for weeks. I finally went to the doctor to have it checked out. Not being one that likes to be kept in the dark, I asked my doctor what it was and of course his answer was that it was too soon to tell. I figured that much out, but I needed to know best and worst case. He told me that the best case is that I have a really bad ulcer that is going to need immediate attention. The worst case was a malignant neoplasm of the stomach. I had all the symptoms and side effects. For those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s the big “C”, Cancer.

Just this week I went in for another follow up. I was told that he had good news and bad news. (Of course… there’s always good and bad news isn’t there?). Bad news, it’s definitely not ulcers. The good news is that there is a 99% chance it’s not cancer. Then he hit me with, “But we still don’t know what is causing the problem.” I’ve been put on a very restrictive diet for almost a month now, and I’m still having problems. I’m scheduled to have an exploratory procedure done in September so they can get a better look at my innards.

The occasional beer is okay, but if I drink more then a couple I know IÂ’m in for a night of pain and vomiting. However, my wife and my doctor find it strange that when I drink Jack DanielÂ’s I have no pain, no discomfort and no side effects. Thus IÂ’m sticking to my guns by saying that Jack Daniels to me, is like Spinach to Popeye.

Now I could lie and say that IÂ’m not scared. Frankly folks, IÂ’m still worried. I have a family that I have to take care of and I want to see the boys grow up and actually be able to meet my grandkids. Death doesnÂ’t scare me, but no one looking out for my family does.

IÂ’m not looking for sympathy, and frankly I really donÂ’t want any. I figure this is the karmic wheel paying me back for some of the shit I pulled in my younger days. I just needed to get if off my chest. I needed to write it down, just to get it off my chest.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:15 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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Sorry, We just got back from the Galesburg Heritage festival. IÂ’ll fill you all in later, right now IÂ’m tired. But I will share some tidbits with you, tomorrow when I post on it, youÂ’ll hear about Contagion the model, Threatening to shoot the public, the tallest submariner in the world, goats (Goats?!), and a lot of fun.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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ItÂ’s nice making friends with people that work the gun counters in sporting goods stores. Besides the obvious reasons of discounts and inside tracks on firearms and ammo, you get the benefit of being the test subject for new products.

I had been visiting a local sporting goods store for a while now perusing their shooting supplies, buying ammo and just generally talking to the counter guys about various things… like, “How come you’re so much cheaper then that other big name sporting good store in town?â€� Today I go in and the guy working the counter sees me and waves me over. He pulls out a box of .38 ammo and says, “My supplier is trying to get us to start carrying this ammo. I don’t have any experience with it. I’ll give you a box if you test it and tell me what you think.â€�

Well hell yeah! IÂ’m gonna take a free 50 rounds of .38 special full metal jacketed ammunition. He goes back to the stock room and brings out this box. I look at it, and start to have second thoughts. Why? 90% of the writing on the box is in Spanish! Aguila Ammunition. .38 especial. Cartuchos de fuego centrat. Detonador Non-Corr/Non-Corr Priming Mantengase fuera del alcance de los ninos! But the price was right and I couldnÂ’t pass it up.

So if any of you out there know anything about Aguila Ammunition, let me know. Other ways IÂ’m going to find out first hand this weekend.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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All right, itÂ’s Friday night, IÂ’m home, and I have this brand new Jack Daniels dispenser IÂ’ve been aching to try out. So we all know what that means. Yes, Mr. Contagion has been drinking. Before I go into too much detail, IÂ’ve had a couple of people ask me exactly what it is that I bought.

Duh, itÂ’s a Jack DanielÂ’s dispenser! Think beer taper, except itÂ’s for hard liquor. You place a bottle in it and when you open the valve it pours you a perfectly measured drink. Well, at least that was what I was told. Anyone that has seen me drink Jack knows that what is perfectly measured for me, and what is perfectly measured for everyone else is two different things.

Now of course I could have gotten one of the many new fangled pre-measure pour spoutsÂ… but what fun is that?!?! This is pretty much the same thing, except that the holder is made from a barrel they actually used to make Jack DanielÂ’s. Thus this is better, the fact that itÂ’s signed by the Jimmy Bedford, head distiller of Jack DanielÂ’s, makes it a shrine in this house.

Well after reading about Bloodspite trying to base jump with out a chute and Quality Weenie being down on her luck, I figured it was time to break her in and have a drink or twelve for them. Hey itÂ’s my liver and IÂ’ll do what I want! Plus I've had the pleasure, nay the honor of meeting both of them, I feel it's my civic duty! Crap, glass is emptyÂ… IÂ’ll be right back. Okay backÂ… sorry. Anyway, so I popped the olÂ’ bottle in and decided I needed to figure out how much it pours when the valve is opened.

The answer is about 1.2 ounces or 35 Ml. Now, whoever made this contraption is a little off. Depending on where you go, a standard shot is 1 to 1.5 ounces. ItÂ’s usually closer to 1 ounce. Where the hell did they come up with 1.2 ounces? Eh, who cares, ItÂ’s not like I drink it by the shot anyway. IÂ’ll just hit the valve three times and be happy.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I assure you it wasn't a willing sport to start undertaking

And in answer to your question yea, teansion induced rapid deceleration feels like someone grabbing your spinal cord at about 50 mph. I hurt like raccoon thats been wrastlin a armadillo all night.

Save some for me dammit!

Posted by: BloodSpite at August 05, 2006 07:19 AM (i81Vx)

2 Sounds like a good idea to me! (But how does it feel today??)

Posted by: Richmond at August 05, 2006 09:17 AM (e8QFP)

3 Ah, but do you have the special bottle with the upside-down label?

Posted by: Ogre at August 08, 2006 07:33 AM (/k+l4)

4 Gawd, you sound like me on tequila.

Posted by: tink at August 10, 2006 02:22 PM (wi/sM)

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IÂ’ll write about my weekend later, but first I thought you might enjoys some eye witness first-hand photos of an incident that happened on Interstate-39 just south of Interstate-80 at mile marker 58.

My wife and I were heading back from our re-enactment. Clone didnÂ’t come with to this event; instead he stayed with my sister. She lives in Bloomington and we met halfway between Rockford and Bloomington at a town called Oglesby, we were picking up Clone there. We had just turned off of 80 heading south on 39 when we ran into a traffic jam. GREAT! I love traffic on major highways. It was moving slowly, so at least it wasnÂ’t a stand still. There was a squad car blocking the road directing people to the right line. Then there was another directing people off the road completely, not onto the shoulder, but into the grassy ditch alongside the road. More emergency vehicles where arriving as we waited to get through.

I couldnÂ’t see what had happened at this point. I made the comment that I was glad we were in my truck, because it was better suited for off-roading then KtrevaÂ’s mini-van is. Okay, my truck was built for off-roading. It wasnÂ’t until we got close did I see what happened. Fortunately, the Digital Camera was in the cab of the truck. Ktreva snapped these pictures.

Click to Enlarge

Click to Enlarge

My first thought was, “Holy crap, the concrete buckled from the heat.” Today I called the Illinois Department of Transportation (IDOT) and spoke with a person there regarding the incident. She advised me that the concrete had not buckled, but had exploded from the heat. She explained that buckling takes time to happen. On really hot days, the roadway can expand fast with no release, that when the pressure builds up enough it will literally explode. That is what happened here on 39. She said it happened twice yesterday, once around 1:00 PM and again around 5:00 PM (which is when we drove by).

Based on the time of the incident, we had to have arrived on the seen with in minutes of it happening. That makes me real happy that we didnÂ’t get out of there any sooner. Once we got past the bad pavement there was a line of vehicles from full ton pick up trucks pulling a trailer to Dodge Neons on the shoulder with everything from flat tires to what appeared to be broken axels and radiators. If you look at the pictures you can see it was about a 1 and a half-foot high ridge in the road.

After picking up Clone we had to head back that way. We had stopped to get gas and eat, so it was about an hour later when we drove back. They had road crews there working on it; unfortunately the traffic was still backed up. They were now directing them through the ditch in the median around the bad section of road.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:48 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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For the first time in 18 months IÂ’m taking my wife on an official date. We have a sitter, IÂ’m taking her to a nice restaurant and then IÂ’m taking her to see a movie that she wants to see. ItÂ’s been so long since the last time just the two of us went out, itÂ’s almost like itÂ’s a first date.

The best thing is, IÂ’m pretty sure IÂ’m going to score tonight.

Posted by: Contagion at 03:55 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Mr. Contagion and Ktreva...yeah that is WAY TOOOOOO LONG.

score?

for the love of pete

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 07, 2006 04:44 PM (gLfxV)

2 ... good for you guys...

Posted by: Eric at July 07, 2006 05:18 PM (r5XsL)

3 YEAH!! Good for you!

Re: scoring......how's that whole facial hair thing? hmmmmm..

;-)

Hope you have a wonderful evening!

Posted by: Tammi at July 07, 2006 05:59 PM (3UQTn)

4 Wow. I am glad to see someone else has troubles getting sitters. ... last time was... 19 months... ick. Really should not have figured that one out. Need to work on this date thing. We need one.

Posted by: vw bug at July 07, 2006 06:09 PM (NyrfU)

5 Yay! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

Posted by: Mrs_Who at July 07, 2006 06:53 PM (rtTnw)

6 Many a man has left on a date thinking the same thing and then coming home defeated. I hope ou kept your game intact during this dating sabatical.

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at July 08, 2006 08:04 AM (SXElV)

7

Posted by: Johnlqlg at April 22, 2007 09:06 AM (VhNjw)

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Normally on the Fourth of July we have a big party at our house and invite a bunch of friends over to eat and socialize. This year due to sinking a ton of money into the house in June, we decided to save money and not have the party. In fact we decided not to do much of anything other then have me due some grilling. I picked up a couple of thick pork chops and slowly bar-b-qued them for over an hour. At this point I want to warn all of my southern readers, I did use a bottled bar-b-que sauce. I donÂ’t have the time, patience nor desire to make my own sauce. However, I am always on the lookout for a good bottled one. If you know of any, IÂ’d be more then willing to give them a try.

While the meat was cooking, we set of some totally legal in Illinois fireworks; smoke bombs. Clone had packages and packages of Pop-itz. (The small teardrop shaped pieces of paper that pop when you throw them on the ground). He didnÂ’t quite get the concept at first that they had to hit a hard object to pop, so he was throwing them in the grass and everywhere. After a while he caught on and was having fun making all kinds of noise by throwing the pop-itz around.

Today I discovered that pop-itz and a lawn mower make for an interesting combination. Of course itÂ’s been a couple of weeks since I mowed last. (Yes, I know, donÂ’t even say anything. YouÂ’ll only encourage Ktreva.) That means that all kinds of things where hidden in the grass. Like say 5,243,845 pop-itz. With roughly only about three quarters of them popped. I was pushing the mower through the lawn when I heard what sounded like someone running across bubble wrap. It went on for about 20 seconds and then stopped. I couldnÂ’t figure out what it was at first. Then I noticed all the little white pieces of paper mixed in the cuttings. For the next 3 passes of the mower I would get the same effect. Clone must have dumped 10 boxes of the damn things into the grass.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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