When your oldest son is in the back yard shooting his softair guns, make sure you yell loudly and angrily at him, “God dammit, use a proper stance. There is no way you’re going to be able to shoot accurately if you can’t hold the firearm properly.”

Then follow that statement with, “Once you get better, I’m going to get you some human targets. That way you get accustomed to shooting at the human form.”

Yea, the neighbors didnÂ’t come out to talk to me tonight either. They all just watched through windows.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:37 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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November, 2005 I came clean about an addiction I had. ItÂ’s been over a year and IÂ’m still hooked, just not as bad. IÂ’ve gone a whole day with out a Listerine Breath Strip. But there was another unhealthy obsession that I should have come clean with you all about years ago.

Folks, I have an obsession with energy drinks. For about two years now when ever I find an energy drink that IÂ’ve never had before, I canÂ’t help but to buy one to try. Of course I only get the sugar free onesÂ… I donÂ’t want to get too hyper on the sugar. Hey, donÂ’t look at me like that. It makes sense in my world.

Anyway I was at the gas station yesterday. I refuse to pay at the pump, that way I can go inside and see if they have any energy drinks I’ve never had. There in a display was an energy drink I had never seen before, Howling Monkey Energizing Elixir. I quickly bought a can and went to work. As I sat at my desk I read the label a little more carefully. Below the name it said “Multi-vitamins, pure caffeine and Quinine”.

As I sat at my desk I started thinking, “Quinine, that is awfully familiar. How do I know Quinine. Why is there something about it that is sending off little warnings in my head.” Then I opened the can and took a drink of one of the most vile concoctions on the face of the earth. This elixir wasn’t fit for, well monkeys. In fact I now know why they where howling. If I had to drink enough of this, I’d howl too.

As I was choking down swallowing the first swig of this swill it struck me; Quinine was used to treat Malaria and muscle cramps. ItÂ’s also very, very bitter. Which, helps explain the god awful taste. I spent most of the morning pondering why in the hell anyone would add Quinine to an energy drink. I mean, Malaria isnÂ’t really a problem in the US anymoreÂ… then again I donÂ’t think that drinking it in an energy drink would cure me if I did have it. Next, the muscle crampsÂ… There are many better things one can get for muscle cramps. Trust me on this one folks. And the stuff is so bitter I canÂ’t imagine anyone using it in a drink for the sole purpose of flavoring.

The can doesnÂ’t say how much Quinine is in this drink, but IÂ’m assuming itÂ’s a safe level. I donÂ’t think they would risk a bunch of people overdosing on their energy drinks. I will say though that I did have some interesting side effects yesterday.

Do you think I have anything to worry about if I try their cola version?

Posted by: Contagion at 05:01 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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IÂ’m struggling right now in a decision. I really want to get a new camera. IÂ’m not talking about any old point and click, but a nice camera. Photography has always been a love of mine, and I take a lot of pictures, I just donÂ’t share them with people. There is something personal about them to me. So IÂ’ve been looking and to get the camera I want along with the new lenses IÂ’m looking at about $1,500.00.

Then there is the fact that I really could use a lap top computer. IÂ’m looking at one that has all the stuff the features I want so I can do everything on it. I want to be able to take it on trips and be able to keep up with blogging, get work done, play games and just be able to have a second computer in the house so that Ktreva and I both can be online at the same time. Pricing the computer with all the features I want, itÂ’s about $1,500.00

IÂ’ve wanted to get a Thompson sub-machine gun for years. No, itÂ’s not the most powerful, the most accurate or the fastest out there, but I like them. There is something about them and the history behind it that really attracts me to it. To get the one that I want before the assault weapon ban gets re-instated, itÂ’s going to cost me about $1,500.00.

With my annual bonus at work, I could, in theory, afford to pick up one of theseÂ… (IÂ’d also have to talk Ktreva into it.) The problem is that itÂ’s only one, and I really want all three and I really want all three NOW.

GAH! I hate decisions like this.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:33 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Sell one of the kids. It's fun and easy to make another!

Kidding, of course.

Me, when faced with that kind of dilemma, I usually find someone who has something they need fixed really bad, and fix it for them. Side gigging on weekends paid for several of my little firearm friends. And other toys. Besides, who needs that social life anyway?

Posted by: og at March 02, 2007 07:39 PM (iqbdN)

2 Get the Thompson. Then I'll come visit you and you can take me to fire it! I've always wanted to play with one!

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 02, 2007 09:12 PM (r0kgl)

3 I would go with the Thompson. I don't think there are any plans to ban cameras and laptops on the table right now, but if there were it would be a different story. ;-)

Posted by: Jabbah at March 02, 2007 09:39 PM (fwe8t)

4 The Thompson would be an investment.

Plus, I'd get to shoot it. Or else

Posted by: Graumagus at March 02, 2007 11:18 PM (ZEzoY)

5 Yeah, I'm liking the idea of the Thompson, but on the other hand the other two would get me into less trouble with the wife.

Posted by: Contagion at March 03, 2007 07:41 AM (pBx72)

6 Thompson. Used properly, it can get you the camera and laptop for free.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at March 03, 2007 12:34 PM (Hn1Gg)

7 Camera - Used properly, it can get you the Thompson and the laptop for free.

Depending on how Ktreva poses...

Anyway, post a list of your requirements for the camera & the laptop so that your friends can do some bargain hunting for you.

Posted by: Harvey at March 05, 2007 02:09 AM (L7a63)

8 Dude, get the Thompson. Sure, you want all three, but you *really* want the Thompson...

Posted by: Wes at March 05, 2007 03:31 PM (jsV0Y)

9 Thompson wins, hands-down.

What's she going to do, really? She's already tried to turn you into a hippie... Thompson is the best Anti-Hippie hardware on the list - in more ways than one!

Posted by: Bitterroot at March 14, 2007 06:14 AM (9FXen)

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When I was a near perfect child. Rarely did I ever do anything wrong. Occasionally I would misbehave a little, but nothing that would embarrass my parents. Unfortunately I had a warped sense of humor. At times I would come up with something that was humorous to me, but would end up backfiring on me.

When I was in High School I bought a set of three six-sided loaded dice that would roll sixes almost every time. Unless my buddy Moritz rolled them, then he would get ones. The reason behind these dice was so that when rolling up a Dungeons and Dragons character, you would get a score of 18, the highest possible roll for each attribute. Yea, I know, IÂ’ve come to terms with my geekyness. Of course any time I tried to use them in a game someone would notice and they where banned from play. Thus I ended up keeping them separate from the rest of my dice.

My parents, mainly my mother, are very religious. They are die-hard Lutherans and donÂ’t take to joking about god, religion or anything related. One does not challenge my parentsÂ’ values and morals in their homes, many of my friends will attest to this. My parents are practical in their views however. They did not view Dungeons and Dragons as satanic or the devils work. They saw it to be just the game that it is. There were no issues with me playing D&D or buying the books or other tools of the game. I was even allowed to host gaming sessions at the house. (YEAH YEAH YEAH, Geek, IÂ’ve got it!).

However, if you mix the facts above into one incident, you have a bad situation in the making. Oh, I need to add one more fact to the mix. My mother has run a daycare out of the house since before I was born. She still does.

It was over the summer and the day care kids would roam all over the house. Occasionally one of the older kids (between 6-12) would wander into my room when I was there. Depending on my mood I would sometimes I would talk with them or let them play with some of my stuff. One day I was feeling a little mischievous when one of the older kids walked into my room. I had been putting away my D&D stuff. He picked up my dice and started playing with them. It didnÂ’t take him long to notice that three of them rolled sixes all the time.

This 10-year-old boy was fascinated and wanted to know how they did that. Looking at them, I picked up the three dice and rolled them over and over, always rolling 18. After a couple of rolls I explained to him, “These are my satanic dice. You can tell because they always roll 6-6-6.” At that point my mother flies into my room and screams “Contagion D Smartarse give me those dice right now! DO NOT TELL THE KIDS STUFF LIKE THAT! These dice are now mine and you are NEVER getting them back. Lil' traumatized Tommy (He was brought up die-hard Catholic), don’t listen to Contagion. He is being mean and telling stories.”

I ended up getting those dice back about two weeks later. I found where she put them and reacquired them. They are still in my possession, and I know exactly where they are.

I hadn’t thought about this story for years. But something happened today to remind me. One of the ladies I work with was telling a story of something her son had done the previous day in school, Catholic School. He had found a sticker at the mall that was a pentagram. He thought it would be funny to place it on a bible and take it to school and try to convince the other kids it was a “Satanic Bible”.

Hey, at least I didnÂ’t get suspendedÂ… well at least not for that stunt.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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...it reminds you that you're alive.

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I’ve told a lot of people about this Illinois gun ban that I spoke about below. Some of the people are just blowing it off as, “Same shite, different year”. Sure, the anti-gun politicians try to ban firearms every year. This year has a different ring to it though, there has been quite a change up in the politicians in office and the bills they are trying to pass may actually make some headway. I’m worried that this time the bills have more then a snowballs chance in hell of passing.

After talking it over with Ktreva, IÂ’ve taken two days off and I am going to head down to the Illinois Gun Owners Lobby Day to show my opposition to anti-gun bills. I wrote a letter to Dave Syverson (My state Senator) and Chuck Jefferson (My state Representative) voicing my opinion. This time, I just donÂ’t feel itÂ’s enough. It is important for me to take the time and go to Springfield to be counted.

If there is anyone else that is planning on going or is interested in heading that way, let me know. I would love the company.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:21 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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What a weird and interesting weekend. First Ktreva brings me a bottle of Jack Daniels. Only two weeks AFTER I voluntarily cut back my drinking because she was concerned about it. She said I was doing good and deserved a reward. That was on Friday night.

Saturday I went shooting with a work friend of mine Bob. We went to a local gun shop that has an indoor range. He just wanted to get some practice in with his 9 and didnÂ’t want to shoot alone. Hell, I wasnÂ’t about to pass up a chance to get some quality time in with my .45. The range is okay, itÂ’s indoor and a little cramped, but itÂ’s better then nothing, and it is with in 15 minutes of my house.

After shooting we went to Old Chicago where I ended up getting in a “debate” with the bartender and some of the patrons over the quality of, or lack there of, Winter’s Bourbon Cask Ale. They thought it was good, I thought they were idiots. In the end I had them convinced that most things made by Anheuser-Busch is crap.

I was home at a decent time and was watching some TV when my buddy Wes of Bodhran Roll Please came over and kidnapped me. Allegedly he was in dire need of a night out on the town and I was to go with. First we hit Hooters for some much needed Hot Wings and Beer. Afterwards we hit a local exotic dancer bar. I refuse to call it a strip club, because there is no nudityÂ… nor striping. We did get to school a girl who was on her first week of dancing. Trust me, you could tell she had no enthusiasm for it.

Sunday I went over to my friend J-manÂ’s house to watch the Daytona 500 while Ktreva was at a Baby Shower from Hell. Okay, I donÂ’t like Nascar. IÂ’m not fond of watching races. Why did I go? For the best of all reasons, he really gets into it. And itÂ’s fun to watch his reactions. That and we grilled steaks. Grilled meat in February will get me to brave even Nascar. Since I didnÂ’t really know any of the drivers and I donÂ’t follow it, J-man told me I had to root for the number 07 car, because it was sponsored by Jack Daniels. He is a Dale Jr. fan. I refuse to root for him just because it seems everyone else in the world does and he seems to crash a lot. Sure heÂ’s consistent, but so is him needing a new car. Before the race I made multiple comments about Dale crashing.

When it got down to the last 4 laps and Dale hadn’t crashed yet, I made the comment, “Well it looks like Dale isn’t going to…” BAM! A Huge crash that takes out a chunk of the racers, including Dale. I’m not exactly sure what J-man was yelling at me because I was too busy laughing. I do know he blamed me for the wreck, something about me being a Jinx and using the Bears for a reference.

The coolest thing was that on the very last lap there was one more crash, and the Jack Daniels car slid across the finish line on itÂ’s roof and on fire. Seriously, I think he should have gotten extra points in the Nascar standings for that finish. After the race, I just came home.

ItÂ’s strange; I had originally planned on a plain uneventful weekend and actually ended up having a lot of fun. I wonder if the same will happen next weekend. All IÂ’m planning on doing is going to a gun show.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:44 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I think itÂ’s time for me to retire from the game. I finally broke my previous high score of 36,001. Now I reached 147,933 points.

If I spend anymore time obsessing over this stupid game, I think my wife might leave me.

UPDATE: Okay, I lied and tried it one more time. This is an actual screen shot, the numbers on it were not altered.

Posted by: Contagion at 02:30 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I had to go to work this morning. A couple of my peers are leaving and IÂ’m picking up the slack so that things run smoothly. In doing so I fell behind in some of my work. We also had mandatory OT for our people today due to the high volumes of inventory we have that needs to get out. Since my people were working and I was going in, I decided to follow a long-standing tradition.

I wear a kilt to work on Mandatory Saturdays.

Folks, this seemed like a good idea yesterday, but this morning I kind of regretted making it. First off, scraping the windows of my truck wearing a kilt in negative 2 degree weather is NOT fun in any shape or form. It gets hard breathing around my daddy berries. The cold hit the good time boys and they just retracted all the way up to my throat. Secondly, climbing in to my truck while wearing a kilt and not exposing yourself to the world takes some skill. When itÂ’s cold like this, it takes even more. Finally, climbing out of the truck is pretty easy, but that snowy blast on Mr. Happy was enough to make tears well up in my eyes.

Next time IÂ’m going to think this through a little better.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:12 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Yesterday Ktreva, Graumagus, my friend Bob and I went shooting. It was time to get some range time in. We had a great time and all had fun. Yet, to put a blemish on the day, we did have an incident early on.

I was at my station waiting for the next shooting break to put up a clean target. We had just arrived and the target on the stand down range was left over from a previous shooter. I figured this was a good time to get rid of some older ammo I didnÂ’t like. In my ammo locker was a box of American Eagle .357 rounds. I had picked two boxes of this up about 6 months ago. The last time I went shooting I used the first box and I didnÂ’t like the way it shot. It was dirty and the fouling kept gumming up the revolver.

I brought this box along just to burn it off, so I started shooting it. About twenty rounds into the box, the range officer comes over to me and asks what I was shooting. Of course I started with, it’s a Taurus .357 Tracker. He clarified he meant the ammo. To which I responded with, American Eagle .357. He then stated, “So you’re not using reloads?” No, these were factory loads. At that point, I asked him why. He told me that there was an incident and the guy next to me stated he got hit in the face with something from my revolver. Okay, it’s a revolver. Anyone that has ever shot a revolver knows that there is side discharge from the gap between the cylinder and the barrel. I apologized, and stated that the .357 does spray a lot.

The range officer said the kid stated something came off my revolver and hit the kid in the face cutting him. I allowed him to expect my pistol and everything looked fine. There was no damage to my revolver and nothing looked out of sorts. When the kid came back to get his stuff, he had a small cut on his right cheek. After asking if he was okay, I rechecked my revolver and the ammo. It all looked okay. I continued shooting, with the every couple of rounds having to wipe the fouling off the gun, the cylinder would start to not rotate. I also started paying more attention to the spray. Grau, who moved into the station the kid just left stated there was a lot of spray coming off the revolver. At one point I caught a burning ember on my hand while shooting.

Then on my second to last shot my revolver jammed. The cylinder would not rotate or open. Finally after some manipulation it opened and out fell a chunk of the copper jacketing from the bullet. It was a pretty good-sized chunk too, About 2 millimeter wide and 4 millimeters long. About this time, I started wondering if there was something wrong with my revolver. After wiping it down, I inspected it and everything looked good. The chambers and the barrel lined up properly; there was no play on the cylinder, any burrs or blemishes.

I figured I should try a couple of .38 loads from Aguila and see if I have any problems with it. If I do, I know then that I need to take the revolver to a gunsmith. I put 25 rounds through with out one problem. Next I tried some Remington .357 rounds to see what would happen. 50 rounds went through with out a problem. No fouling, reduced spray, no sluggishness on the cylinder. I was unable to duplicate any of the problems I was having with the American Eagle ammunition. We ended up putting over 300 rounds through it yesterday and only had a problem with the American Eagle.

I ended up having to fill out an incident report, apparently the kids father (Who was with him) complained, after they left the range. Poor Grau, Ktreva and Bob ended up having to sign as witnesses. Unfortunately, they didnÂ’t see anything. Hell I didnÂ’t see anything. I didnÂ’t know there was a problem until the range officer came over and started talking to me. Now, IÂ’m just waiting to see what this is going to turn into.

But I will tell you this; IÂ’m never buying the American Eagle ammunition by Federal ever again. It was dirty, it fouled up my revolver and now with this IÂ’m just going to assume itÂ’s unsafe. Sure, I have no way to prove that what the kid said is actually what happened or that what hit him in the face even came from my revolver, but with the rest of the facts IÂ’m going to assume it did.

So shooters, heed this warning, stay away from the American Eagle Ammunition.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:31 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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This weekend, in honor of Martin Luther King Day, IÂ’m taking Ktreva, some friends from work, and the zombie Graumagus shooting. What? ItÂ’s a national holiday. Just because he was shot doesnÂ’t mean shooting is not a good way to honor this completely useless day off of work. What the hell else are we going to do in the middle of January? Sit around and contemplate racial harmony? Nah, weÂ’re going to go hone our marksmanship.

Now as some of you may remember that I bought a crap load of ammo on Black Friday. That was 600 rounds. I already had 700 rounds in the house, bringing me up to 1,300 rounds. Which really should be more then enough for me to go shooting with this weekend and have a little extraÂ… just in case. (Read into that statement what you want, at this time I can neither confirm nor deny anything). I figured that Ktreva was not about to let me sink any more money on Ammo until I burned off some of what I have.

Then today on lunch we hit Gander Mountain to say hello to my buddy and pick up some targets and a cleaning kit for a rifle. My old one needed replacing. After so much use they do tend to wear out. While we where there my buddy tried to get me to buy an AR-15. The glare Ktreva gave him for asking, and me for thinking about it, was enough to make other shoppers wince back in fear. Figuring I was done, I was getting ready to check out. That was when my beautiful and wonderful wife said 6 little words that made my heart skip a beat.

“Why don’t you buy some ammo?”

Sure, since we are shooting we could use more ammo. I started with two boxes of .38, then two boxes .380, then two boxes .45. I looked at Ktreva to see if I’m pushing the limit but she was more interested in a pink shotgun they had. So I added one more box of each caliber. Then two boxes of .357. Still there was no reaction from Ktreva. Okay, give me 4 boxes of .22LR. (Yea, I know it’s cheap, but it’s fun.) Finally, she looked over at the stack of ammo and asked, “Do you think you need anymore?” At that point I decided I was starting to push my luck and told her that should be enough for along with what we have at home to last the weekend.

Just to recap, 150 .38 rounds, 150 .380 rounds, 150 .45 rounds, 100 .357 rounds and finally 200 .22LR rounds for a total of 750 more rounds. That should be enough ammo to keep us entertained for at least two hours.

But to me, the beauty of this story is not the ammo. ItÂ’s the fact that my wife loves me enough to support my hobby. What more could you want from a woman? Beautiful, sexy, looks good in tight jeans and lets me buy obnoxious amounts of ammo.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:50 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Heh. You two just belong together... :-) Happy Shooting!

Posted by: Richmond at January 08, 2007 07:06 PM (e8QFP)

2 Yep - I'll agree. You are one very lucky fella. :-) But then again, I'm biased.

Posted by: Tammi at January 08, 2007 07:44 PM (3UQTn)

3 And she puts up with your crap, too :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 08, 2007 09:25 PM (L7a63)

4 I buy my .22 ammo by the brick and shotgun ammo by the flat of ten boxes. almost all the other ammo I buy is in components, bullets, powder and primers, along with cartridge cases. Of course I have about ten bazillion .38. .357 .223 and .30-06 range pickup brass around to throw together for blasting ammo.
For what you spent today you could have bought a Lee turret press and a set of .38/.357 dies and a autodisc powder measure. Then you'd never have to buy .38s and .357 again. And it would only cost about thirty bucks to add a handgun cartridge to your line up.
Factory ammo is a waste of money.

Posted by: Peter at January 08, 2007 09:51 PM (YadGF)

5 so where you shooting? want help?

Posted by: og at January 08, 2007 11:18 PM (iqbdN)

6 We shoot here Og: http://www.bristolranges.com

Some different range rules, and the range fee for non-members is a bit stiff ($20) but it's a damn nice facility.

My problem is that I'm a bit tight this week so I may not bring the .44 mag (out of ammo and it's not cheap).

Sigh.

Guess I'll have to stick to the 300 rounds of .45, 1000 of .22, and 100 of .30-.30....

Who the hell am I kidding? I'll get at least one box of .44 ammo It's worth it just for the "Oh fuck!" factor when I let newbies squeeze a few off hehehe

Posted by: Graumagus at January 09, 2007 12:52 AM (Rayvs)

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I took last Thursday off from work. I figured I had some more vacation time coming to me and I needed to use it. Plus it gave me time to help prepare for the party. Since I had taken the time off, I also figured it would allow me to get some extra sleep. Yea, that didnÂ’t work.

Thursday morning Clone comes and wakes me up, saying heÂ’s hungry. Letting Ktreva sleep, cause she had the whole week off and was just plum exhausted not getting her 10 hours of sleep, I went to feed the boy. After I put him in his chair and got him his breakfast, it dawned on me that the whole house humidifier we have wasnÂ’t running. Sure enough, it was out of water. I pulled out the two 2.5 gallon tanks and filled them up. While walking back to the humidifier with the tank, it started to slip out of my hands. I moved really quickly to catch it, and at the same time driving my left foot right into CloneÂ’s chair.

There was a pop and pain coming from my middle toe on my left foot. I looked at it, and it seemed okay. I went, finished getting dressed, including putting on socks and shoes and started about my day. The day was filled with shopping, that meant a lot of walking. By the time we got home that night my foot was throbbing and really aching. I told Ktreva I thought I broke my toe, and explained what happened. She told me to take off my sock and shoe so she could take a look at it.

As soon as I had the sock off she winced. My toe was black and purple. It had swollen up and looked like an over stuffed blood sausage. But most noticeably was the way it bent at a 30-degree angle to the left over the toe next to it. Yea, that didnÂ’t look right. She told me to go to the hospital. Why? Why would I go to the hospital? All they are going to do is take some x-rays, say there is nothing they can do and tape it up after straightening it out. Well except take my $50.00 ER copay. I had a broken toe some ten years ago and thatÂ’s all they did then.

Ktreva ran and got the bandage tape we have while I straightened my toe. It only hurt for about 20 seconds when I pulled on it. It was the popping, crunching sound it made and the feel of it going back in place that really made the whole experience interesting. I taped it up and off I went. Of course I made sure I had my steel toed boots on at all times, no need for someone to needlessly step on it since it happened. Everything seems to be okay.

Sure itÂ’s still a little swollen, and there is a good discoloration to it, but itÂ’s feeling much better.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:01 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Yesterday I left work at 11:00 AM to go meet up with T1G. This caused some stir in my employees because I had numerous ones ask if they could leave early and I had to say no. I had too many people off already. Then I leave early. Yea that was great.

T1G and I drove up to meet Harvey and Richmond at a Hooters in Wisconsin. I hadnÂ’t seen Harvey since Wolf Fest, and Richmond since Fritzfest. It was nice to be able to talk with the both of them again. Richmond, due to parental responsibilities, was running late. T1G, Harvey and myself kept trying to tell the wait staff there was going to be a fourth person there, but we donÂ’t think they believed another person would want to be seen with us. Then of course they kept insinuating that that fourth person was a male. I guess they didnÂ’t believe a female would want anything to do with rabble like us.

While we were there Harvey labeled me an Alcowhoric Scrinch. It had something to do with my willingness to do just about anything for alcohol and the fact that I'm not into Christmas. I've got a bad feeling that label is going to stick around for a long time.

After Harvey and Richmond had to leave, T1G went over to his brother’s place o’ employment. People, T1G’s younger brother really looks nothing like T1G, based only on appearance you would never tell the two of them were related. However, they sound exactly alike. They have the same voice and speech patterns. If the two of them where having a conversation and you couldn’t see who was talking, you’d swear someone is talking to themselves. I’m willing to bet they have to announce who they are when they call their mother. “Hey Mom, it’s me, T1G.”

Afterwards we headed down to FritzÂ’s to drink there. T1G took some ribbing because heÂ’d been gone for so long that Fritz could no longer afford to send his daughter to college. It had something to do with profits dropping by about 50% since last June. Then I caught some flack for not going down there to pick up the slack of T1G leaving. I told Fritz and the regulars that I was instructed IÂ’m not allowed to go there while T1G is out of town, something about invading his turf. What was really cool was I hadnÂ’t been to FritzÂ’s in about 8 months and they all remembered who I was and my name.

It was a good time. It was nice to see T1G before he makes his permanent move to Florida.

Posted by: Contagion at 01:18 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 "... permanent move to Florida," eh?

Fauck you, my friend.

Really, it was great being able to hang out with you, again.

Posted by: that1guy at December 23, 2006 02:03 PM (3UQTn)

2 "T1G’s younger brother really looks nothing like T1G"

I bet T1GYB is thanking Jebus for somethings.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at December 23, 2006 05:03 PM (BksWB)

3 You forgot to mention they both have the exact same sense of humor. THAT is the scary part.....

Posted by: Tammi at December 24, 2006 10:36 AM (pWX3U)

4 I bet his brother wouldn't look as good as he does in that pink bunny suit. He probably won't let him try it on either.

Posted by: sticks at December 24, 2006 04:47 PM (5H+a0)

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It’s been one of those days. Ktreva woke up this morning and her voice is pretty much back. It’s a little froggy, but she can definitely say in a loud and clear voice, “I hope you like the couch.” So tonight I camp in the living room again. I’m not even sure what I did wrong. If I was doing something she didn’t like, all she had to do was speak up and say so. I told her that a good dozen times. Yet, she didn’t make a peep once.

Then I get to work and I start the day off thinking that it’s Friday and I get to leave at 11:00 to meet up with some people. I’m rushing through my work to make sure everything is done, assigning projects for the days, sending out all of my “Friday” e-mails. To make matters worse, since I was sending out my “Friday” e-mails, my employees started thinking it was Friday. That was until one of my people responded to an e-mail, “Did I miss a day, or isn’t today Thursday?” After a quick check of the calendar and a very audible, “D’oh”, I quickly sent out all the updated e-mails. Of course by this time all of my employees where begging me to bend the space-time continuum and make it Friday.

Now, since I’ve lost a day, the whole day went by at a snails pace. I mean everything seemed to take forever, even lunch. I ran some errands on lunch, finished some shopping and bought lunch. I thought I was running late, that I had been gone for over an hour. When I got back to my desk, I had only been gone for 35 minutes. It was at this point I vocally asked, “Why? Why is this day going so slow?” Lo and behold an ethereal voice responded with, “Because you don’t want to be here, you should take the rest of the day off.” This suggestion sounded good until… “And give your employees the day off too.” Then I realized one of my people heard my plea and was hiding behind the wall talking to me.

Which is actually good, because I was starting to doubt my sanity. Either that or I had proof that god exists, is female, and IÂ’m surely in big trouble. Instead I decided this employee needed some additional work, and gave it to them. Never let a good joke go unpunished people, but only if you are the target of it. It makes them think twice about playing a prank on you again.

Finally the end of the day came along, and I head home. Thanks to the traffic the trip took FOR-EV-ER. I really hate the fact that the only way from work to my house either takes me past the Mall or down some of the busiest streets in the city. Finally I get home, and I thought IÂ’d make a quick dinner so I could get into some Glogg to make the memory of the day go away. Well I started cooking it about an hour ago, apparently I canÂ’t bend the space-time continuum to change what day of the week it is, but I can to make Korv cook and potatoes boil. Now if youÂ’ll excuse me, IÂ’m going to go see if I can make some beer disappear quickly.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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In just a few minutes here IÂ’m going to be heading out with the boys for our annual Lutefisk dinner. WeÂ’re all excited. ItÂ’s been one day short of a year since the last time we were able to feast on the joyous delight that is lutefisk. If your not sure what lutefisk is, see this post from last year.

As part of the dinner tonight we will also have real Swedish meatballs and Korv (Swedish Christmas Sausage). There will also be rice pudding, new potatoes, fresh lingonberries, lefse, pickled beets and real rye bread. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Growing up in a Norwegian/Scottish household has exposed me to various different ethnic foods, and trust me I love every one of them.

For those of you that want to know what it looks like, here is some uncooked lutefisk.

YouÂ’ll have to excuse me; IÂ’ve got to get ready to go now.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:34 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Oh yay! My Nonny (Inga Olsen was her name) loved and prepared fabulous lutefisk. When we moved here and I saw lefse for sale in the grocery store I *knew* I was home...

I hope you have a wonderful dinner!

Posted by: Richmond at December 07, 2006 06:01 PM (e8QFP)

2 I've never had lootfisk. (the norwegians are wrong, just come down to the land of the Swedes, meet Ole and Sven) and we'll tell ya. But I would try it if I had the chance. If ya be wantin' Swedish food and tradition, when you come to Galesburg in '07, swing through Bishop Hill.

Posted by: Petey at December 07, 2006 06:35 PM (YB/Wv)

3 Fish flavored snot in bland white sauce.

Blarrghh.

It's so sad to see a normally rational human being succumb to lye poisoning.

Lieberknodel... now THAT'S some good eats

Posted by: Graumagus at December 07, 2006 10:43 PM (8P21O)

4 blecccch. Sorry, I don't eat fish soaked in a chemical that we use to get DNA out of a blood sample.

Posted by: caltechgirl at December 08, 2006 12:15 AM (r0kgl)

5 Yeah, because nothing says delicious like fish boiled to the consistency of gelatin.
Blech!

Posted by: Raging Mom at December 08, 2006 01:05 PM (l+Chn)

6 I'm a seafood junky but that looks pretty nasty and reading a recipe for it did not make me want to venture forth. Have fun.

Posted by: spurs at December 08, 2006 03:32 PM (3lsFM)

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Just my luck. During all the snow fall and the resulting clean up on Friday, I didnÂ’t get hurt. Sure there was some muscle soreness, but nothing that wouldnÂ’t go away. This morning as IÂ’m walking out of the house I slip on an icy step. When I fell I drove my right knee into the ground. This is the knee I had surgery on 3 years ago.

I just got back from the doctor. HeÂ’s pretty sure IÂ’ll be okay, but IÂ’m supposed to take it easy on it for the next couple of days. WeÂ’ll see how that floats with the rest of the family. Now excuse me, IÂ’m going to go take some painkillers and watch a movie.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:36 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It’s over folks. Thanksgiving 2006 has finally come to an end. My in-laws are on their way back to Kansas. My parents and sister are off doing their own thing with a resounding, “I have plans today and tomorrow”. I tried my damnedest to be civil the whole time; unfortunately Ktreva did bear some of the frustration last night after everyone had gone back to their hotels.

I opted to not take the Jack DanielÂ’s route as I thought that with everything else going on, it might just cause me to explode in an angry fit of honesty. Where that would have been much blog fodder, it also probably would have caused much strife in the Contagion household. At one point yesterday I was ready to take some of that new ammo and redecorate the interior of my living room brain matter greyÂ… and not necessarily my in-laws. It was just a passing thought with no seriousness to it, but still.

This morning before everyone went their separate ways we all had breakfast, that was fun. Especially since overnight Ktreva came down with the flu and I had to deal with all the boys, my parents, my sister, and my in-laws all by myself with no support. I think at this time I really should explain something to everyone. When I have family functions, I tend to not stay for more then 2-3 hours before leaving. Especially if there is extended family involved. I really hate some of my auntÂ’s, uncles and cousins. Many of my readers may not understand that, as I know you are close with your families. IÂ’m not. IÂ’ve always been the black sheep, the different one, and the one that doesnÂ’t think, act or behave like everyone else. After three hours of dealing with these people, IÂ’m ready to get the fark out of Dodge. On Thursday I spent 9.5 hours with them, yesterday I spent 8.5 hours with them, and this morning I spent 2 hours with them. IÂ’ve spent more time with my family and in-laws in the last three days then I have in the last 12 months.

But at least there was some humor out of the whole situation. This morning on the TV I saw a commercial for Lowe’s. They where talking about some sale, I wasn’t paying attention, but I did catch one piece from it. “…That way you can have you house all finished before your in-laws say, this room will look nice once you finish it.” That spoke volumes to me. Ktreva has been working on the woodwork in our living room for 7 years. She is nowhere done with it. She was the one that wanted to do it, and took the job on; she doesn’t want me touching it. Yesterday her grandmother said to me, “This room will look nice once you finish the woodwork you started 7 years ago.” When she is speaking about Ktreva and I, it’s y’all… so she meant me.

The kicker is that this morning at breakfast my mother, Ktreva's mom, and Ktreva's Grandmother decided this is going to be an annual tradition. They are going to do this every Thanksgiving. I think next year I'm going to find a part time job working security at the mall.

AhhÂ… such is life. Anyway, youÂ’ll have to excuse me; I need to go check to see if KtrevaÂ’s chunder bucket needs emptying.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:49 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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ItÂ’s black Friday, and as IÂ’ve stated in the past there is nothing that would make me want to go out shopping today. Well that was until yesterday. Between the Thanksgiving feedings the lady folks got together to look at adds for today. Ktreva found an add from DickÂ’s Sporting goods that stated ammo was 50% off today only from 5:30 AM to 2:00 PM, maximum 6 boxes. This morning I woke up around 6:30 AM and headed into the madness that is Black Friday. I didnÂ’t think ammo was that big of a Christmas commodity, so I didnÂ’t wake up too early.

DickÂ’s wasnÂ’t that busy when I arrived, and they did have their ammo on sale. I picked up 4 boxes of .357 and 2 boxes of .45 ACP. After I made my purchases, I called my friends J-man and Graumagus to advise them to get off their butts and head down there while the sale is still going on. Then I had a moment of genius. I have a friend that works at Gander Mountain and is working today. Maybe I could get Gander Mountain to honor the competitorÂ’s sale, thus getting another 6 boxes of ammo at 50% off.

Gander Mountain was also not busy upon arrival. I was able to find my friend and I asked if they would honor their competitorÂ’s sale. He advised me that normally they donÂ’t, especially on Black Friday, just because of the nature of the sales. Then he added that since I had the ad with me AND because IÂ’ve purchased a lot from them over the last year they would match the deal. Unfortunately their ammo selection had been picked over. They had the same Remington .357, but they didnÂ’t have the .45 ACP. But they did have it in the Blazer Brass. I decided I needed another 100 rounds of .45, and picked up the Blazer Brass.

Then my friend looked at the coupon, much closer then I did. The actual sale is buy one, get one at 50% off. DickÂ’s (Whom the ad is for) gave me all the ammo at 50% off. Heck, the guy working the counter even told me that all the ammo was 50% off. I may not have gotten as good of a deal from Gander Mountain, but it was still good enough. Between the two sporting good stores, I ended up with 600 rounds of Ammo for just over $110.00.
One canÂ’t argue with that. I normally spend that amount buying half of what I bought.

IsnÂ’t that a pretty sight?

Posted by: Contagion at 06:46 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Happy Thanksgiving. ItÂ’s that time of year when all AmericanÂ’s get together to give thanks for everything theyÂ’ve received over the last year. As some of you may recall I had a horrible experience with my family at Thanksgiving last year and vowed that I was going to do my own thing this year. Around September my in-laws advise my wife they want to come to town to spend Thanksgiving with us. We, meaning me as I do 95% of the cooking for special occasions, are not prepared to cook for that many people. Fortunately my mother says she wants us to come over to her house, none of my aunts, uncles or cousins are coming. We told my mother that KtrevaÂ’s Mom and Grandparents are coming to town, so my mother told us we could all go over to her house.

This sounds like it’s a good deal right? Nope, my in-laws don’t like me. Comments that have been made to me are along the lines of I’m controlling Ktreva, holding her back, keeping her from seeing her family, not providing well for the family, etc. My favorite was five years ago when one of them told me, “We just don’t like you”. Ktreva doesn’t believe any of this, because they are all nice to me when she’s with in earshot, but not when she’s not around. They also make comments to her that leads her to believe that they like me.

So far this Thanksgiving is going to be dealing with my Mother, who thinks sheÂ’s the boyÂ’s mother and that IÂ’m still 16. My sister who thinks IÂ’m too hard on the boys. My in-laws that hate me and my father, who will be my only ally that may help me out.

So this Thanksgiving IÂ’m thankful for Jack DanielÂ’s. It calms my stomach, my nerves and in the right moderation will keep my brain just soaked enough to not care.

On a lighter note, I have Thanksgiving presents for every one in the extended entry.
more...

Posted by: Contagion at 08:58 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Some Thanksgiving gift...the guys get a sexy woman, and the gals get...well, I try not to say words like that.

Happy Thanksgiving anyway!

Posted by: Mrs_Who at November 23, 2006 10:00 AM (nG9ng)

2 Happy Thanksgiving, dude, and thanks for the present.... From the Poke-a-hoe tribe is she?

Posted by: Wes at November 23, 2006 10:01 AM (eZAe8)

3 Happy Thanksgiving, man...

And thanks for the present.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 23, 2006 10:05 AM (Hn1Gg)

4 Hrmm...I always loved women with sharp objects

Happy Turkey Day dude!

Posted by: BloodSpite at November 23, 2006 11:03 AM (ZTGJT)

5 Umm... thanks I think. *grin*

Dude! Next year it's time to lay it out with the families... your family gets one holiday for themselves alone. Either Thanksgiving or Christmas... it's your family day for the 4 of you and then you get at least one where you can kick back and relax without needing the help of Jack. We always did Thanksgiving.

Anyhow, I hope the day goes better than you are expecting. Or at least that Jack helps out a bit.

Posted by: Teresa at November 23, 2006 11:09 AM (5UR9t)

6 Just focus on Sunday. You can make it til Sunday. We love you. You know that!!

Come to the light.....

Posted by: Tammi at November 23, 2006 12:33 PM (Sz1NJ)

7 Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted by: Consul-At-Arms at November 24, 2006 02:19 AM (I0cnc)

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I’m still alive. Yesterday did not go as planned. After grabbing all the gear I loaded up the family into the truck and headed to the MetroCentre. Ktreva kept telling me the whole time that I was being foolish and I was going to get hurt. Finally as I approached the sign-in table she stepped in front of me, crossed her arms, hitched her hips and stuck out a leg. She said, and I quote, “If you sign that piece of paper to try out, you are going to be in more trouble then you can imagine. Trust me, you don’t want that kind of trouble. Oh, and you know that thing I occasionally do that you really like, that you say I'm really good at and want me to do more of… keep it up and never again.”

Thus I ended up watching the tryouts from the sidelines. There were some guys down on the field that made me look svelte and others that made me look like I was a professional athlete. I donÂ’t know how many of them actually made the team. After a couple of hours I left and met up with Graumagus at Hooters for beer, hot wings and the afternoon game. Yea, it tore up my stomach, but it tasted real good.

So my dreams of being a UIF football player have been dashed. On a lighter note, when we left the building I realized that I had forgotten CloneÂ’s backpack at our seats. While running in to get it, I stepped wrong and gave myself a leg cramp. Maybe it was a good idea that I didnÂ’t try out.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:56 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Bum leg? Try being a Green Bay Quarterback.

Apparently mobility isn't a requirement :-/

Posted by: Harvey at November 20, 2006 06:27 PM (L7a63)

2 I love your wife so much.

And no, not that way. Damn, you and that "art"....

Posted by: Tammi at November 20, 2006 06:57 PM (3UQTn)

3 Darn. I was looking forward to really cool injury stories. You should have threatened her with your super-acid spit...

Posted by: Ogre at November 21, 2006 10:02 AM (oifEm)

4 It's good that Ktreva is there to save you from yourself. Though it would have been cool to be able to go watch you play...

Posted by: Richmond at November 21, 2006 11:52 AM (e8QFP)

5 Jeebus Caristy... you wuss.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 21, 2006 06:49 PM (Hn1Gg)

6 You have a good handler. Thank god she knows which tricks to use to handle you.

Posted by: og at November 22, 2006 08:21 PM (lMlMh)

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