Anyone that has met me knows that I'm a rather hairy man. As I've aged, unlike most of my friends, I've gained more hair. I haven't lost any. Let's compound this with the fact that my hair tends to be course and wiry. I've worn out multiple trimmers, clippers and electric razors over the years. After I've trimmed my facial hair, I've run my hands through my goatee and come away with hair slivers.

To make matters worse, this hair is growing out of my nose this way. I used to joke that I didn't have a mustache, I just combed my nasal hair into one. Unfortunately I often did use my mustache to hide my nasal hair. I used to trim it, even when it would wear out my trimmer. Then a couple of months ago, my trimmer disappeared.

My nose hair started growing at an alarming rate. I had to do something about it when one day one of the hairs was so long, I could almost chew on it. So I did the only thing I could think of doing, I started plucking my nose hairs out.

Sure it hurt at first. After the first couple of weeks, I started getting used to it. Now it doesn't bother me at all. Well, okay, occasionally I grab one that is well rooted and it hurts, but most of the time it doesn't.

Ktreva is upset over this. She doesn't want me yanking my nose hairs out one or two at a time. She wants me to buy another trimmer that will wear out. I figure I can keep this up and it won't cost me a thing. What really bothers her is that I do it while riding in the van or while watching TV. So she watches me do it, and it causes her to squirm and hold her own nose and pain.

My thing is that it doesn't harm her any. I'm not yanking her nasal hairs out, just my own. She has asked me to stop, but honestly, I think it's easier.

What do you all think, should I stop or should I continue?

Posted by: Contagion at 07:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As the rain slowly fell today, all I can think about is how I would rather be camping right now. IÂ’d rather be huddled under a rain fly and trying to keep a campfire burning than having spent my entire day at work.

IÂ’m grateful that I have a job right now, especially one that could be considered a steady position. Yet at the same time I keep thinking about just how much I get no satisfaction, joy or sense of being from it. Seriously, most of the time I view my duties as being boring, redundant and less than stimulating. IÂ’ve actually lost any amount of caring I had about the company that employees me. At one time, I actually cared and tried to do whatÂ’s best for them, now I just donÂ’t care.

IÂ’d start an earnest attempt at procuring new avenues of employment, but thanks to the severely bad management of this country by its elected officials, government appointees, and the citizenry that failed to remove them from those positions, we have an economy that really is unfriendly toward the job seeker. The only joy I take in life right now is my family and friends, but I feel for my friends because so many (too many) of them are feeling the crunch of this insipid economy.

The few things I enjoy in life, I just couldnÂ’t make a living on, even if the economy was better. My hobbies are ones that in general cost money, not make it. Unfortunately I do not think they have a job for the drinking re-enactor that likes to barbeque while shooting, camping and watching movies. If they do, someone please point me in the right direction. I really need a change of scenery.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The second annual Miasmatic Review Beer tasting is in the books, and I feel it was a success. There were some good beers drank, and some beers that I think people are glad they got to try so they know not to buy them in the future. I didn't do scores like last year, because this is a beer tasting, not a review. My goal was to let people experience and taste new beers for themselves, inspire discussion about the beers and let them feel free to form their own opinions. Where as by having everyone score it, I think it may have put pressure on people last year.

The beers we tasted were:
Flight one: Czech Pilsners
Pilsner Urquell
Kursovice Imperial
Staropramen

Flight Two: Beers by Bell's Brewery
Lager of the Lakes (American Pale Lager)
Amber Ale (American Amber/Red Ale)
Oberon Ale (American Pale Wheat)

Flight Three: American Porters
Anchor Porter
Founders Porter
New World Porter

Bonus Flight: Mystery beer!
I did a blind tasting. Basically I obscured all information about the beer we were tasting and the point was to see if anyone could tell me what kind of beer it was. The person that got the closest to the Name of the Beer, type of beer and where it was brewed would win a prize. The beer for this was Xingu by Cervejaria Sul Brasileira in Brazil. It's a schwarzbier (Black Lager). The winner was Shadoglare who guessed Black Lager, he came the closest.

Just for the record, this is a very difficult task. Identifying a beer you may or may of had in the past just by taste is not something that most people could do. I've been put in this position before and failed miserably. The closest I've gotten was the type of beer.

So what did Shadoglare win? If you remember I had a surprise. I officially announced the soon arrival of the Miasmatic Review Enabler Glasses, Shadoglare won the first one. It's a 20 oz imperial pub pint with the logo shown, only in dark green, and with a 22k gold band around the rim. When a reader has donated a total of 12 beers that I review, I well show my appreciation by giving them one of these glasses. For being closest to what the beer was, Shadoglare has earned himself one of these glasses.

For those that were in attendance, I served them a Bacon Explosion and smoked Pork Chops for dinner. From the feedback I received, I think the Bacon Explosion was a big hit. I only made two, I may have wanted to make four. It was a huge success.

I'm planning right now on having the 3rd Annual Beer tasting in 2010 again on Memorial Day weekend. I hope to have more people in attendance next year. We had eleven people, including myself, that were actually participating in the tasting. There were others that were around just for the observation or to socialize. I would like to thank Harvey, Graumagus, Bruce, Shadoglare, Labgirl, Wes, Petey, Wil, Red and of course KTreva for participating in this years event. With out all of you, this would have been just me sitting in the backyard drinking beer by myself. An extra special thanks goes to Ktreva for all of her help, support and hard work in the last couple of months getting this all put together.

Hope to see you all there!

Posted by: Contagion at 01:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A woman is driving down the street, alone in her car. I can see her crying as I pull along side her. Not the gentle tears of joy or a mild weeping, but the chest heaving crying of someone that is in true emotional pain. Her entire body convulsing with each sob, her makeup running with tears as it flows down the curvature of her cheeks like a hard rain over a statue.

At the stop light I try not to stare, but curiosity is a cruel mistress and I sit and wonder, “What has happened to this woman to put her in such a fragile state of emotion? Why is she crying?” The whole time I am glancing over occasionally and seeing her hug the steering while for comfort. Occasionally waves of anger come over her and I watch as she strikes the roof, door and dashboard with clenched fist.

Pain, sorrow, anger, fear.

At some time each of us has been in the same situation as the woman in the car. Whether we display it for the whole world to see, share it only with close friends or keep it bottled up inside, we have been there. An emotional torment that just has to be dealt with in our own personal way or it will wash over us like a tidal wave over a beach. Destroying whatÂ’s in its path.

I can only imagine what situation or situations have occurred to bring this woman to this state. IÂ’ve never seen her before, and I doubt I will ever again. What I do know is that I felt for her. For anything that would drive her to such a state would have to have been truly horrible. I found myself hoping that she was heading to a friend or a loved oneÂ’s house for at least a small sum of comfort, as opposed to the cold reality of a job.

Me, I finished my drive to work and thought not of her again until my drive home. On my way home I started looking at the lone drivers in the cars and trucks around me. Wondering to myself, “What are they thinking? What emotional state are they in?” Are they just a stray thought away from an emotional outburst or are they so devoid of emotion, so focused on the task at hand, that they wouldn’t provide an emotional outburst no matter what happened? Most likely they were some place between the two emotional extremes.

I donÂ’t know why I wondered these things. IÂ’m not even sure why I was fascinated with the lady this morning. Why today did I decide to take a glimpse in the fish bowl that is life? Was there a deep seeded need for me to observe my fellow man that had to be satisfied? Did curiosity finally overwhelm me enough to start wanting to reconnect with a part of society I started to detach from about 16 years ago? Back when I dealt with some of the worst people humanity had to offer. When I witnessed just how cruel and unforgiving people can be to each other.

These are all questions that I may never find an answer.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In the state of Illinois you have to register your canoe before you can use it. Now if you ask the bureaucrats they will tell you that itÂ’s for your own protection. That way people canÂ’t steal your canoe and sell it. Honestly, letÂ’s just be honest and admit it. The state wants to micromanage anything and everything its citizens do. They can also get more money out of us.

The problem is that if you buy a used canoe, you can have a ton of fun trying to get it registered. Especially if you have a canoe that is not currently registered with the state or comes from a state that doesnÂ’t register their canoesÂ… such as Wisconsin. That is where my canoe came from. So as I filled out the paper work, and I spoke with the DNR there was mention of a watercraft tax.

At the time you apply for an Illinois title or registration with the Illinois Department of Natural Resources for a watercraft you purchased or leased, you are required to submit either payment of tax or proof that no tax is due before your watercraft can be titled or registered.

The Illinois Department of Revenue is responsible for administering the collection of tax and providing the necessary tax forms. You must make separate payments for tax due and title and/or registration fees. Make your tax payment payable to the Illinois Department of Revenue and your payment for title fees payable to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources.

The Department of Natural Resources directed me to the Illinois Department of Revenue. While I was on hold with them I started doing some research and discovered the following on the back of the registration form:

Effective September 1, 2004 tax is owed when a watercraft (class 2, 3, 4 and personal watercraft [PWC], i.e. jet-skis) is acquired by gift, donation, transfer, or non-retail purchase if the watercraft will be used in Illinois.

Thus, I figured when I finally got through the person would tell me that I owed nothing because a canoe is a Class A watercraft… “Class A – Canoe/Kayak/Paddleboat”. Finally after ten minutes a guy with a thick Spanish accent is trying to help me. I could barely understand what he was saying to me. I explained why I was calling. He asked me how long was is the canoe. I advised 17 feet and he put me on hold “to look something up.” He came back on and said that I would indeed owe taxes on it.

SAY WHAT?!?!?!?!

He said that because the canoe is 17 feet, I owe taxes on it. If it had been 15 feet, I would have been okay. I clarified that the form says that a class 2 watercraft is 16 to 24 ft , but that a class A is a canoe/kayak/paddleboat. It doesn’t say what size it has to be. He stated that there is nothing that claims that a canoe is exempt from the size categories. Even after I pointed out that doesn’t make sense since they have a separate category just for Canoes/kayaks/paddleboats. The guy put me on hold again and said he was going to talk to his supervisor. I was on hold for another 5 minutes and he comes back on and claims that “I spoke with my supervisor and they agree with me.” I asked to speak with the supervisor and was transferred to a voice mail.

I left a message asking them to call me back. In the meantime I started doing more research and I found this on the Illinois Department of RevenueÂ’s own website. First I have from their own section on definitions.

"Watercraft" means Class 2, Class 3, and Class 4 watercraft, as defined in Section 3-2 of the Boat Registration and Safety Act [625 ILCS 45/3-2] and personal watercraft, as defined in Section 1-2 of the Boat Registration and Safety Act [625 ILCS 45/1-2]. [35 ILCS 158/15-5] Section 3-2 of the Boat Registration and Safety Act defines these terms asfollows:

"Class 2" watercraft means all watercraft 16 feet or more but less than 26 feet in length, except canoes and kayaks.

"Class 3" watercraft means all watercraft 26 feet or more but less than 40 feet in length.

"Class 4" watercraft means all watercraft 40 feet or more in length.

Next I found this on the FAQ for the RUT-75 form. The one that you have to fill out to pay for the tax.

Who must file Form RUT-75?
If you acquire an aircraft or watercraft by gift, donation, transfer, or
non-retail purchase, you must fi le Form RUT-75, Aircraft/Watercraft
Use Tax Transaction Return.

“Aircraft” includes airplanes, helicopters, hot-air balloons, ultra lights,
gliders, blimps, dirigibles, seaplanes, and anything else defined as
aircraft in Section 3 of the Illinois Aeronautics Act.

“Watercraft” includes
• Class 2, Class 3, and Class 4 watercraft as defined in Section 3-2
of the Boat Registration and Safety Act; and
• personal watercraft as defined in Section 1-2 of the Boat
Registration and Safety Act (jet skis, wave runners, etc.).

“Watercraft” does not include canoes or kayaks.

Finally we have 625 ILCS 45/3-2

(625 ILCS 45/3 2) (from Ch. 95 1/2, par. 313 2)
Sec. 3 2. Identification number application. The owner of each watercraft requiring numbering by this State shall file an application for number with the Department on forms approved by it. The application shall be signed by the owner of the watercraft and shall be accompanied by a fee as follows:

A. Class A (all canoes, kayaks, and non motorized paddle boats). $6
B. Class 1 (all watercraft less
than 16 feet in length, except
canoes, kayaks, and non motorized paddle boats).. $15
C. Class 2 (all watercraft 16
feet or more but less than 26 feet in length
except canoes, kayaks, and non motorized paddle boats). $45
D. Class 3 (all watercraft 26 feet or more
but less than 40 feet in length)............ $75
E. Class 4 (all watercraft 40 feet in length
or more)........................... $100

Upon receipt of the application in approved form, and when satisfied that no tax imposed pursuant to the "Municipal Use Tax Act" or the "County Use Tax Act" is owed, or that such tax has been paid, the Department shall enter the same upon the records of its office and issue to the applicant a certificate of number stating the number awarded to the watercraft and the name and address of the owner.
(Source: P.A. 93 32, eff. 7 1 03; 94 45, eff. 1 1 06.)

Emphasis mine

Pay no attention to the prices, those have gone up.

So IÂ’m waiting for this supervisor to call me back. IÂ’m fighting paying the taxes on this because according to all the laws, forms and documentation I can find, CANOES ARE EXEMPT!!!!! IÂ’m not paying any more money into this State hemorrhaging money due to bad money management. I wonder how badly the state is going to come down on me?

Posted by: Contagion at 08:56 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I finally get to step back for a brief breather! I really do mean a brief one too. Let me give you a cliff notes reference of everything that has been going on.

Last week Boopie had his 16th Birthday, for five years my plan was to buy him a car. Nothing too nice or fancy, but just a cheap $2,000 to $3,000 car. He even knew that was what the plan was. A couple of years ago I promised him I would match him dollar for dollar toward a car, up to $2,000.00 when he turned 16 as long as he had no Ds or Fs on his report card. I knew in October that I wasnÂ’t going to have to worry about it, because he was failing classes, and he just went down hill from there. So he turned 16 and didnÂ’t get his license.

The sad thing is that I get the impression that he blames Ktreva and me for him not getting his license.

Thursday night, I obtained my first degree as a Mason. TheyÂ’re a group IÂ’ve wanted to join for a while now, but I just never had the opportunity and time. I finally decided to get off my arse and make it happen. IÂ’ve got a lot of work ahead of me as I am but an apprentice, but IÂ’m up for the challenge. In fact I have a meeting tonight with them.

Friday night I had to get a car carrier for the canoe I purchased. It came with a foam pad system, but after doing some research, and talking to other canoe owners, I decided that if IÂ’m going to take that canoe on any distance, I want something a bit more stable than those foam blocks. We are planning our family vacation with our friends Wil and Red to The Lake in The Ozarks, and want to bring the canoe along. After doing the research and reading horror story after horror story about those foam pads either failing or scratching the hell out of the paint, I decided to get a real carrier. A local canoe shop had exactly what I wanted, and I ended up getting a Yakima rack system. The owner of the shop even helped me install it.

After the rack I took Ktreva and Clone to see the new Star Trek Movie. Okay, IÂ’m not going to give anything away, but honestly for those Star Trek purists out there, this movie is going to annoy you. The main plot device is was a crutch that bad writers use when they canÂ’t come up with an original idea. Heck, they might as well have done the entire movie based in a Halodeck. That is the only bigger crutch out there. As a movie on its own, it was pretty good. They did pay a lot of homage to the original series with the devices, sounds and catch phrases. I donÂ’t want to give anything away, so IÂ’m going to quit talking about it now.

Saturday morning we had to go to Madison, WI to get the Canoe. ItÂ’s an older used canoe, but it looks great. There are some scrapes and dings on it from use, but all the seems are straight, the rivets are all original and itÂ’s sturdy! We put her on the new rack system and left for home. I had originally planed on using some of the straps that came with the canoe, but the seller didnÂ’t have a lot of faith in them, so we temporarily tied it down with twine until I could get to a Menards and buy some ropes for it. We picked up some ratchet ropes and are probably the best thing for canoes IÂ’ve ever seen.

Saturday night I took Ktreva to the RaptorÂ’s football game. Where, since the Metrocentre only sells Budweiser products that I wonÂ’t drink, we had way too many Bloody Marys. I mean way too many! Ktreva made our quarterback cry. It was rather amusing, yet sad. Sad for the quarterback, as he really was not having a good night. I also spent a lot of time trying to educate Ktreva on the small nuances of football. I really should only do that when neither one of us has an alcohol soaked brain.

On MotherÂ’s day I gave Ktreva the gift of laziness. I let her do what ever she wanted, and I took care of all the work that needed to be done. Well not all of it, because I needed some help here or there. I did all the cooking. We had smoked pork chops, bratwurst and I made my first Bacon Explosion! It turned out really well. IÂ’m looking forward to making my next one for the Beer Tasting.

Speaking of which, the deadline for the Beer Tasting is rapidly approaching! Let me know, if you havenÂ’t already, if you are coming!

Posted by: Contagion at 03:31 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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IÂ’ve been trying to buy a canoe for months now. The problem is that I was very specific about the canoe I was after. I wanted a 17-18 Grumman Aluminum canoe. After doing some research I figured that was the best canoe for what I wanted to do with it. My father bought one for the family that was the same size when I was a kid. I remember spending hours in various lakes, rivers and ponds canoeing in it. Unfortunately DadÂ’s canoe had a run in with a falling tree and was totaled.

I picked mine up off of e-bayÂ… after losing a couple of others at the last minute. TodayÂ’s bidding ended at 1:40 in the afternoon and I think that helped me. Especially since this canoe came with a car carrier, paddles, life vests and extra floatation cushions. I got it the whole thing for $532.00.

My new canoe.

Now I just have to go pick it up. I can barely contain my excitement.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:23 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I remember the tree incident. Turned your dad's canoe into a "u" boat

Posted by: Graumagus at May 05, 2009 10:05 PM (LxL8S)

2 I tried to comment on the canoe, but your comment system kept saying that the link was bad words.

Posted by: The Thomas at May 06, 2009 02:20 PM (PRm1Y)

3 I'm thinking you would be more interested in this guy's canoe. http://www.mlive.com/living/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2009/05/profile_outdoorsman_and_schola.html Its shown in the pictures at the end.

Posted by: The Thomas at May 06, 2009 07:05 PM (lhX2J)

4 Sweet ride! Damn, I'm jealous. More pics!

Posted by: og at May 07, 2009 06:58 PM (5jzIw)

5 Lake of the Ozarks here we come!!

Posted by: red at May 08, 2009 07:00 AM (tlzMg)

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