Just a little fun for this Saturday, some people didnÂ’t like the way the original Superman movie ended, so they came up with an alternative ending.

It may not be done with the best quality, but itÂ’s still pretty funny. That and you have a cameo from Batman.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:50 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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“Oh Randy, now that you’re here in Oakland, your tankin'. Wish we would send you away. Oh Randy! When I think of the coin that you’re bankin’, really need you to play.”

A tribute song to Randy Moss from a very disgruntled Oakland Raider fan to the tune of Barry ManilowÂ’s Mandy. ItÂ’s just a matter of time before the fans revolt and shank the guy.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:16 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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My Buddy Shadoglare told me I needed to check out Its Jihad Charlie Brown. Since I found much amusement in it, I figured it was my duty to share it with all of you. It's from the Dennis Leary Christmas Special. Which would be appropriate since I think he has no qualms about pissing everyone off. Still, funniest thing I've seen in a while.

Thanks Shadoglare, it made my morning!

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Halloween is right around the coroner, and for you ladies out there IÂ’ve found a store to buy your costume at, Girls's Costume Warehouse.

They can even make Abe Lincoln Sexy.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:16 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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IÂ’m sure many of my readers remember the muppets. As a kid I loved The Muppet Show. The other day while searching through the net, I stumbled across this

Beaker singing Feelings.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:05 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned having recently installed Windows XP on my PC and that I am very happy with this operating system. I also showed him the Windows XP CD, and to my surprise he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned on the oven. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.'

After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but then on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription; an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746
F2066696E64207468656D2CDA4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20
616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D

'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said.

'No,' he said 'but I can. The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

****
A friend of mine sent this to me. I just had to share it. It's probably old, but it made me snicker.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:03 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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IÂ’m not a fan of rap. In fact there are only a handful of rap songs I enjoy. However, I do loves me some humor. I ran across this video. It appears to be made by Jamie Kennedy, IÂ’m not sure what for, but itÂ’s funny. I mean, cÂ’mon who thought Bob Sagat could be such a hard arse! BTW, before you click play, this is NSFW (Language) Let me introduce you to Rollin' w/ Sagat!

HeÂ’s got a c0ck like a donkey, hard as a rock!

Posted by: Contagion at 06:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Have you ever wondered what High School would be like in the time of Moses? Well, neither have I, but that doesnÂ’t stop this from being a funny spoof. Take the Ten Commandments, set it in a modern High School, have Samuel L. Jackson as the principal, and you have 10 Things I hate About Commandments.

Click to Watch

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I know there are many closet nerds and geeks out there. Sci-fi fans of all ages that try to hide it because they remember in High School the jocks kicking their ass for having an in depth conversation regarding what was better, Star Wars or Star Trek. Well after time people move on to what they compare and someone decided that he was going to find out what would happen if Neo from The Matrix fought Robocop.

Click to watch video

Posted by: Contagion at 08:25 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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When I was younger, Graumagus introduced me to a parody of Star Wars. Hardware Wars was one of the funniest spoofs IÂ’ve seen. Just this morning while surfing the net I discovered that Pistolwimp.com actually had the full movie up on their site for all to watch.

Behold in all itÂ’s glory and geekitude, Hardware Wars featuring Fluke Starbucker, Auggie Ben Doggie, Ham Salad and my personal favorite, Chewchilla the Wookie Monster.

Chewchilla the Wookie Monster and Ham Salad

Yes, there is a Sci-Fi dork hidden inside me.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:30 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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WeÂ’ve all heard the old adage, donÂ’t poke a caged tiger with a stick. Well apparently that applies to leopards too.

Never poke a leopard with a stick

I just want to know what the hell the park ranger was thinking, of all people that should know better.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:10 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The following was sent to me in an e-mail. I guess because I worked in law enforcement for years I found this really amusing. That's also why I can see this being true. After working with many of the cops I have, I can think of at least one seperate cop to say each of the fifteen.

So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey $#*!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.*"

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

and, ah yes, the best one (although, I really like # ...

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't...Sign here."

*NCIC: National Crime Information Center. For those of you that don't know this is the national data base that is used to check if someone has a criminal history, is wanted or just a all around douche bag. A lot of states also have their own seperate database that they use in conjunction with this.

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Phin asked, "Why do married men typically die before single men?"

The first thing that came to my mind was the three rings of marriage.

The Engagement Ring.

The Wedding Ring.

And the Suffer-RING

Posted by: Contagion at 04:59 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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We all know how much I love zombies, but what you might not realize is that I have a true love and appreciation of zombie documentaries movies. Then I stumbled upon this.

Night of the Living Dead in 30 seconds
(and re-enacted by bunnies)

ItÂ’s worth a quick chuckle.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:50 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I LOVE the re enactments by bunnies. They crack me up.

Posted by: Bou at February 11, 2006 08:41 PM (iHxT3)

2 ... zombies freak me out on a deep, deep level... I hates'em... ranks right up with sharks and bumblebees as my most frightening thoughts... zombies... even bunny ones....

Posted by: Eric at February 12, 2006 05:18 PM (r5XsL)

3 How can you love Zombies and NOT love Zombie movies?

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 12, 2006 06:19 PM (uI/79)

4 Also, I wonder if rabbit tastes good with worcestershire sauce

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 12, 2006 06:19 PM (uI/79)

5 The weird thing is that, because it's done by bunnies, seeing the one burning on the porch gives me a craving for a bunny-burger :-)

Posted by: Harvey at February 13, 2006 02:38 PM (ubhj8)

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WeÂ’ve all seen it, a parent trying to connect with their child. In the day and age we are in now, this gets more difficult. As technology takes over and builds a rift between parent and child it makes it harder for the parent to break through. Parents are trying to break into their kidÂ’s world in order to understand or communicate with them. Maybe they started sending e-mails and messages to them via the computer, but the child rejects it because they donÂ’t understand. Well those parents now have help.

The first and only English-to-12-year-old-AOLer translator!

ThatÂ’s right, you can turn anything you type into a misspelled horror that any professional educator would have a heart attack reading. If you would like to see how this works, just check out the extended entry. I translated this post using it just so you can see how it works.
more...

Posted by: Contagion at 09:34 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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There are dorks, there are geeks and there are nerds. If you combine the three of them together, you get these two guys.

Fear of Girls

This is absolutely hilarious, especially if youÂ’ve ever played any kind of role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons. It is long, 11 minutes, 12 seconds. Well worth the wait.

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This was sent to me by a blogless friend. (No Harvey, he refuses to start a blog. I just don't have your powers of manipulation.) I felt I needed to share with all of you.

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of the days conferencing.

Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the barkeep, "In 'Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a bladdy Fosters, mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next, "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all, give me a Bud."

Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer, ferdamt.?? Give me in Becks, da ist der real King of beers, danke."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward, "Barman, would ya give me a diet coke with ice and lemon. Tanks." The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy replies "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then neither am I!"

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A couple of weeks ago T1G told me he was thinking of going into the theater. I had thought he was just joking around. Then another friend sends me a link, a link that was most disturbing. JebusÂ… The Musical. HOLY CRAP! He did it! He made his dream of acting come true. We all know he has a Jebus complex. This might explain his mood right now.

Jebus will survive.

Okay, this clip starts pretty badÂ… goes to worseÂ… and then towards the end itÂ’s down right funny. Make sure to watch the whole thing, not just because I did, but also because if you donÂ’t youÂ’ll miss the best part. ItÂ’s not very long.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:32 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 122 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Nope... that weren't me. I couldn't hear a damn thing, but I was wishing a bus would hit the bastard... right about the time it did. Divine.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at January 28, 2006 10:53 AM (lfQya)

2 Hahahahaha! I'm going to hell now, aren't I......

Posted by: Richmond at January 28, 2006 12:45 PM (e8QFP)

3 Bwahahahahahaha!

Posted by: Oddybobo at January 28, 2006 01:28 PM (IVFuV)

4 Sacraliscious!

Posted by: Wes at January 28, 2006 05:22 PM (XKQLY)

5 LMAO! That was worth the aggravation of waiting on the dial-up download.

Posted by: MathCog Idiocy at January 28, 2006 05:38 PM (j7H/L)

6 I'm surprised he didn't get the shit kicked out him before the "end".

Posted by: Jim - PRS at January 28, 2006 06:03 PM (njBz/)

7 I SO did not need to see that image. That diaper really looked like it was going to fall off...

But it IS T1G, I'm sure of it.

Posted by: Ogre at January 30, 2006 06:33 AM (/k+l4)

8 Definitely T1G

That long-ass hippie-hair is a dead giveaway :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 30, 2006 01:33 PM (ubhj8)

9 That's gonna leave a mark.

Posted by: Jenna at January 31, 2006 09:51 AM (f/kUC)

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Have you ever wondered what would happen if two heroes or super villains from different movies, TV shows or comics fought against each other? Well if you have, I then I have the video clip for you.

The ultimate showdown!

I will warn you the very catchy tune will ear worm you. Ktreva, Clone and I have been walking around for the past 24 hours humming it.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:47 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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You always hear about those feuds where two neighbors donÂ’t get along. Now imagine if you will if Obi-wan Kenobi and Jareth the Goblin King not only lived next door to each other, but also were feuding. To make it even more interesting, lets just pretend that Jareth has given up his Goblin king ways and has become a goat farmer. (Hey, it could happen!)

JarethÂ’s goats just wonÂ’t stay out of Obi-wanÂ’s yard. This has been an on going feud for a while now. I bet your just wondering what that might look like. WELL I HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU!

Thanks to a blogless friend of mine that keeps sending me all these things.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:03 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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