January 28, 2006
Jebus will survive.
Okay, this clip starts pretty badÂ… goes to worseÂ… and then towards the end itÂ’s down right funny. Make sure to watch the whole thing, not just because I did, but also because if you donÂ’t youÂ’ll miss the best part. ItÂ’s not very long.
Posted by: Contagion at
10:32 AM
| Comments (9)
| Add Comment
Post contains 122 words, total size 1 kb.

The ultimate showdown!
I will warn you the very catchy tune will ear worm you. Ktreva, Clone and I have been walking around for the past 24 hours humming it.
Posted by: Contagion at
09:47 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 75 words, total size 1 kb.
January 21, 2006
JarethÂ’s goats just wonÂ’t stay out of Obi-wanÂ’s yard. This has been an on going feud for a while now. I bet your just wondering what that might look like. WELL I HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU!

Thanks to a blogless friend of mine that keeps sending me all these things.
Posted by: Contagion at
11:03 AM
| Comments (7)
| Add Comment
Post contains 120 words, total size 1 kb.
I canÂ’t tell if that is a real event or staged. If itÂ’s staged, the acting is horrible. If itÂ’s real, that guy has to be the worse reporter IÂ’ve ever scene and dumb as a box of rocks to boot.
Either way it was funny as all hell.
Posted by: Contagion at
10:47 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 117 words, total size 1 kb.
January 14, 2006
They also provided me with this helpful little list:
Top 5 Reasons You're Going to Sleep on the Couch Tonight, Jack:1. Your wife says you snore too loud (we both know you don't snore).
2. Your wife thinks you sided with her mother in an argument.
3. You made a playful, completely harmless joke about "doing" the nanny.
4. The nanny wears that smoking hot bikini of hers to the pool and your wife catches you scoping her out. Damn it.
5. You decide to sleep on the couch just to teach your wife a lesson (tactical error moron, she'd rather sleep by herself).
I'd like to add number 6 to the list.
6. You got into an arguement with your wife while drinking and ended up there. IE last night.
Posted by: Contagion at
09:28 AM
| Comments (2)
| Add Comment
Post contains 175 words, total size 1 kb.
January 13, 2006
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket — water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
UPDATE: After a little research I've discovered these are part of a skit Bill Maher did on one of his shows.
Posted by: Contagion at
06:28 AM
| Comments (2)
| Add Comment
Post contains 783 words, total size 4 kb.
January 07, 2006

Yea, their dadÂ’s would be proud.
Posted by: Contagion at
10:09 AM
| Comments (5)
| Add Comment
Post contains 104 words, total size 1 kb.
67 queries taking 0.0568 seconds, 189 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.








