IÂ’m going to be taking a break for a while. IÂ’m not saying IÂ’m quitting blogging, but I am going to be taking a hiatus for a while. There some pressing issues going on that need my attention.

Like the fact IÂ’m going on vacationÂ… SEE YA WHEN I GET BACK!

Posted by: Contagion at 04:54 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I have returned from Sensitivity Class. It was a refreshing break from weekly grind in that a couple of things that have never happened before to me happened over the last couple of days.

Lets start off with the most insensitive thing that has happened. Tuesday night after dinner I returned to the Hotel Room. By nine oÂ’clock I was bored off my arse and wanted a snack so I ran to a little convenience store next to the hotel, sure it was a longer walk, but it cost a third as much to get what I wanted. When I returned to the hotel room there was still nothing on TV. Being the curious individual I am, and in a new place I started searching the room for anythingÂ… and found nothing. So I went to look out the window. I peaked through the curtain and saw I had the wonderful view of another hotel. YAY! Just as I was about to shut the curtains something caught my attention, boobs. There was a couple having sex across the way from me and one floor down.

I did what any red blooded American male would do. I turned out the lights, repositioned the recliner in front of the window, got myself a drink and ate Cheesy Chex Mix while watching this couple go at it for 15 minutes. Hey, I was bored. They werenÂ’t the best looking, but it was the best thing to watch. Sure itÂ’s a little creepy to be sitting in the dark watching some strangers have sex across the way, but hey they obviously wanted to be watched and I was willing to oblige. I was just wishing I had brought with those binoculars that work gave us last year for something. It would have made the show more interesting. And before you ask, no Mr. Happy did not get covered in orange powder. Unfortunately there wasnÂ’t a repeat show Wednesday night.

This class was a little different then the other ones. Most of the people in this class were new management that hadnÂ’t done anything; they just needed to go through it. Technically, I think I was the only one sent for punitive corrective reasons. Of course they all seemed to be the uber liberal types. I was involved in more debates over Obama VS Hillary for president. I just smiled and nodded, until someone said something about outlawing guns. Then I very politely excused myself from the table, went outside and screamed at the tops of my lungs. Did you know homeless people donÂ’t like it when you do that?

Now here is where the twilight zone comes into play. Guess who the star pupil was? If you’re gasping in disbelief and saying, “no way, it couldn’t have been you” than you’re right. I decided this time I was just going to toe the line and not cause any trouble. I turned out to be the star pupil. I guess something from those other four times sunk in. But I wasn’t just the star pupil; I was leaps and bounds over the rest of the class. The instructor and the observers were all impressed with my feedback techniques and people skills. Stop laughing, I have them, I just never use them.

Now here is where it gets really weird. Today one of the observers wasn’t able to come due to some family emergency or something. So the instructor had to fill the roll as the observer for a Roll Playing session. Since she was doing that, she needed someone to lead the class. Yep, she looked at me and said, “Contagion, you’ve been most impressive in your knowledge of the material and interactions. Do you think you could lead the discussion on this chapter while I do the observations? I’m sure you already have a firm grasp on the material, all you have to do is go over the material in the instructors book and make sure you hit the key points I’ve highlighted.”

What was I going to say? Well, let me rephrase that I told her I would. So for 45 minutes today I instructed the class on Mutual Respect. No joking, I was the instructor. I had a class full of students listening to me instruct them on the fine art of Mutual Respect and being sensitive to otherÂ’s feelings.

So now, for all of you that have been saying IÂ’ve been sent so many times I could instruct the classÂ… I guess youÂ’re correct. Either that or your psychic.

But to make you feel better, I did get a talking to once while there. During Arts and Crafts time (DonÂ’t ask) I was singing All For Me Grog under my breath again. And as usual it was the bawdy version. I donÂ’t know why a house of ill repute isnÂ’t being sensitive, but hey I learned my lesson.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:39 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 So do we call you Mr. Sensitive now? I figure with all that training you have to be the very most sensitive guy in the blogosphere. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at July 26, 2007 07:15 PM (gsbs5)

2 1,000,000 things I want to say. They are all slamming together in my brain at one time. I can't sort them out......

You, Sir, are One Of A Kind!!

Posted by: Tammi at July 26, 2007 07:19 PM (F/bmV)

3 eh. A girlfriend of mine calls me the Celtic Witch. Go figure. I want to hear more about these arts and crafts. I hate that roll playing crap. Next time I am forced to take training, I want arts and crafts. Do they supply the popsicle sticks and yarn or do I need to bring my own?

Posted by: Bou at July 26, 2007 08:30 PM (2zVEj)

4 Theresa, I find your comments hurtful and disrespectful of my current situation.

Tammie: What can I do to help you be able to pull your thoughts together?

Bou: You're friend is not showing you the proper respect you deserve. What do you think we could do to correct that situation.

Posted by: Contagion at July 26, 2007 08:39 PM (gSaan)

5 Just shaking my head

Posted by: Bruce at July 26, 2007 09:24 PM (cw56p)

6 Wow! dinner & an x-rated movie and you didn't have to pay for it. Did you clap afterwards or hold up a scorecard for them? Good job on the sensitivity class & being the teachers pet

Posted by: Red at July 26, 2007 09:35 PM (TYjDF)

7 I must be dreaming. Contagion teaching Sensitivity? The gun carrying, zombie killing, blogger? I'm going back to bed and back to sleep.

Posted by: vw bug at July 27, 2007 04:43 AM (FPOeI)

8 Trainers know the best way to reinforce the material imparted is by teaching. Contagion...they've got your number :-)

Posted by: h~ at July 27, 2007 02:01 PM (JmOg4)

9 H~, now that's just not very nice.

Posted by: Contagion at July 27, 2007 04:12 PM (gSaan)

10 "I don’t know why a house of ill repute isn’t being sensitive..."

Ya gotta watch that dude... Whores have feelings too.... I suppose...

Posted by: Wes at July 30, 2007 11:05 PM (CW7ec)

11 Someone has hacked Contagion's blog! Quickly, someone nearby go to his house and see if you can locate him! The REAL Contagion would never lead a class like this (or if he did, he'd intentionally screw it up).

The only other possible explaination is that during these classes, the students were heavily drugged and/or hypnotized.

Posted by: Ogre at August 01, 2007 09:42 AM (oifEm)

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Do you hear something? It is the sound of a low, lamenting, tolling bell alerting people of a mournful event. For whom does the bell toll? That would be me of course. Now donÂ’t worry my good readers, this is nothing I wonÂ’t survive. IÂ’ve been down this path many times before. Sometimes just for a partial day, usually for a day and a half. This time it is a 2.5 day long journey.

For today I head to sensitivity class… again. (BONG!) There is a difference from this time to all the others. The class I’m going to is an “intensive two and a half day course designed to help those special cases where other classes failed.” Let me translate that: This is for your really difficult people that have scoffed off all of our previous attempts at brainwashing them to believing that the entire world should be PC. (BONG!) “We have specially trained instructors to help educate and enlighten the students to the emotions and perceptions of those they interact.” Translation: We have highly skilled brainwashers that can reprogram your people to pussyfoot around others. (BONG!) “Sessions include: Being more sensitive to your staff. Acknowledging other’s feelings in the work place. Difficult employee or an opportunity for personal growth. Helping you to help others. My employees, my friends.” Translation: Sessions include: Don’t make your staff cry. No matter what you do, don’t upset the staff. You’re employee is a pain in the arse, but you need to ignore it. Why you suck. Let’s join hands and sing Kum By Yah. (BONG!)

But on the bright side IÂ’m going to be able to eat on the company dollar at some of my favorite restaurants in Chicago. On Wednesday night if any of you want to meet me in Chicago for dinner that would be great. I'll be at Fodo's at 100 W. Grand. Since IÂ’m going to be away from a computer youÂ’ll have to either call me if you have my number or contact Ktreva and sheÂ’ll get your information to me. If you canÂ’t or donÂ’t want to, thatÂ’s fine. But do me a favor; just keep me in your thoughts for the next 72 hours.

May the powers that be watch over my soul.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:02 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Well the powers that be decided to tear up the street in front of my house. Now I’m not talking about the severity of what they did to Richmond’s old street, but pretty bad. Well her street was gone, but mine you can’t pass through. They’ve closed the road due to the eight-foot deep in the middle of the road. It’s “L” shaped starting in my neighbors yard going almost all the way across the street and then running down the middle of the road for about 20 feet. They started working on it last week, and it looks like they may finally be finishing it up.

In the meantime we’ve had all this construction equipment parked outside our house. Which anyone that knows me realizes how hard it was for me to not want to go joy riding on the Excavator Saturday night when I got home and was a little “socially lubricated”. They probably didn’t leave the keys in it, but I know they left it unlocked. Mahn, I could have dug some big holes!

WeÂ’ve also had a lot of vehicles parked in front of our house and big trucks coming and going hauling away debris and bringing in fresh materials. I understand they are just doing their job and there was something seriously wrong with the storm drains, so I didnÂ’t complain. It needed to be done, and is there really a good time for this?

I only had an issue once. I went to leave for work one morning and a tractor/trailer hauler was parked blocking my driveway. There was no way out either driving through my yard or the neighbors. Well not with out taking out some fences in the back yards. I walked up to the guy sitting in the cab and asked, “Hey, could I get you to move the truck just for a moment? I need to go to work and I can’t out.”

The guy shot back with, “Well you shouldn’t be parked there.”

Me, “Well, yea I should it’s my driveway. That’s were I park.”

Guy, “You should be parking on the side street. The city sent notice telling you.”

Me, (Starting to loose patience) “ No, no they didn’t. The only reason we knew this was going to happen is we saw someone painting lines on the road. And no I shouldn’t park on the street; it’s my driveway. I park in my driveway, not half a block away on another street.”

At this point some foreman/supervisor/engineer/person in charge walked up and asked if there was a problem. I explained my situation and the supervisor guy asked if I could wait until they finished unloading. Which I said thatÂ’s fineÂ… I didnÂ’t realize it was going to take them 25 minutes to finish, but as long as I got to work on time, I was okay.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:18 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 So should I be watching the headlines for "man steals excavator and joy rides through Rockford". *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at July 23, 2007 09:24 PM (gsbs5)

2 I know someone who knows how to drive those things... Sticks. I wanted sooo bad to visit her at work with the boys. Can you imagine the fun????

Posted by: vw bug at July 24, 2007 05:10 AM (FPOeI)

3 Hey, I might not know how to drive one of those, but Saturday night I "KNEW" how to drive it. It's because I can imagine the fun that I wanted to go for a joy ride.

Posted by: Contagion at July 24, 2007 06:20 AM (Q5WxB)

4 So, how long have you had this delusion that you own things? If the CITY wants to do something, anything, to any land, anywhere, they will -- no matter what you think or want.

Your driveway, right.

Posted by: Ogre at July 24, 2007 08:00 AM (oifEm)

5 "The city sent notice telling you.”

Sounds like the same notice I received telling us they were about to tear hell out of our backyard.

Came home, called Mr Weenie and asked if he knew why a backhoe was in our backyard.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at July 24, 2007 10:15 AM (ZM3Qb)

6 I soooooo feel your pain.... I do.

Posted by: Richmond at July 25, 2007 06:30 PM (EOSWu)

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Since my last re-enactment IÂ’ve been some kind of Celtic Music listening fiend. IÂ’ve been listening to it at work, in the truck, and allegedly singing some bawdy Irish drinking songs at Carlyle brewery Saturday before the Raptor game and drunken Scottish fighting songs after the game. Also allegedly in a Scottish brogue. Anyone that has heard me sing knows that my singing is not a good thing, not a good thing at all.

Yea, apparently I was very entertaining to those around me between yelling at the Raptors for loosing and singing songs about houses of ill repute.

It's all for me grog, my jolly, jolly grog. It's all for me beer and tobacco for I spent all me loot in a house o' ill repute and I think I'll have to back there tomorrow.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:35 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The Raptors lost last night and they lost badly. It wasnÂ’t even a close game. This was the worst played and coached game IÂ’ve seen all year. I donÂ’t know what was going on, but something didnÂ’t seem right. Some players really put their all into it. They really tried and were frustrated during the game, other players just seemed to let it go. Some of the coaching decisions were really suspect. IÂ’m not saying there was any impropriety by some of the coaches and players, but during and after the game there were a lot of angry players, coaching staff and fans with contacts making statements.

All I know is that Mayor Morrissey is now going to be able to really start on the renovations to the MetroCentre like he wanted.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:26 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Last nightÂ’s draft has come and gone. I didnÂ’t do as well as I had hoped. Then again I could have done much worse Here is my line up:

QBs: Donovan McNabb PHI,
Matt Hasselbeck SEA
RBs: Steven Jackson STL, Willis McGahee BAL,
Deuce McAllister NO
WRs: Deion Branch SEA, Plaxico Burress NYG, Margues Colston NO,
Greg Jennings GB
K: Jason Elam DEN,
Jason Hanson DET
Defense: Jaquars

WeÂ’ll see how this season plays out.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:04 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Normally I don't post too many jokes on here, but I couldn't help but laugh at this one. Probably because every male football fan I know has been in a similar situation.

HER DIARY

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Today the Bears lost, but at least I got laid.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I like Tetris, itÂ’s a fun little time waster, but I donÂ’t know if I would want to stand outside and watch it played with the lights of a building.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Want to get more people interested in politics. How about hiring a bunch of girls to sing for your debate. Such as this clip of an Obama Vs Giuliani DebateÂ… with dancers!

Posted by: Contagion at 08:48 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I was never quite sure how the mouse pointer moved across the screen.

Now I know.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:22 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Do you have that special someone in your life that is a geek? Are you handy in the kitchen? Would you like to make them a special desert for what ever occasion? Is it hard to find something that really fits them? Well I have the solution for you.

Circuitry Snacks

They are deserts and treats that are made to look like computer components. Geeks of the world can snack!

Posted by: Contagion at 07:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It's a football weekend for me! Tonight I have the draft for a Fantasy Football league that I joined. I'm kind of excited as this is the first time I've done a league like this. Usually I just do my SalCap and Pool. Which will be coming soon as soon as Yahoo! opens it up. But this year BlogSpawn Bruce started an NFL fantasy league and asked me to join. My goal is to not lose ever week.

Then tomorrow night is the first of the Raptor's Playoff games. Good times, good times! Tomorrow I will start holding court at Carlyle Brew Pub at about 3:00 PM, any and all that would like to join me are more then welcome to. We'll be there until approximately 6:30 PM. Good beer, and me... what more could you want?

Anyway I'm really ready for some good football, and it looks like it's going to be starting for me in just about 3 hours.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:14 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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There has been a lot of flack for Michael Vick (Atlanta FalconÂ’s QB) for his indictment in the dog-fighting incident that took place on his property. On the radio, in the news, on blogs people have been condemning him for being involved in all of this. They donÂ’t even hear his side, they are just ready to put the shoe on the other foot and feed him to the dogs.

Vick on the other hand is denying any knowledge of the incidents and involvement with it. Whether this is true or not I donÂ’t know, all I do know is this: An indictment is not proof of guilt. ItÂ’s just a formal accusation of having committed a criminal offense, usually felony level. The prosecutor has to prove to a Grand Jury that there is enough evidence to bring the case to trial. At least that is how it is in Illinois.

There are numerous cases where people have been indicted of a crime and been found not guilty. Until this whole thing goes to trial and a verdict is given, IÂ’m reserving my judgment. IÂ’m not saying heÂ’s innocent, IÂ’m not saying if he was involved it is okay. All IÂ’m saying is that IÂ’m going to wait for the legal system to find him guilty or not before I crucify the man and demand that his career be destroyed.

This is America, and the last time I checked we are still innocent until proven guilty.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:59 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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My buddy Will brings tonightÂ’s beer review to you. He gifted me tonightÂ’s beer last weekend at Theatiki. He kept trying to get me to drink one out there, but I wanted to wait until I was home and able to do the review in order to drink it. I didnÂ’t want to make my review biased. Tonight I review Yuengling Traditional Lager by G.G Yuengling & Son Inc in Pottsville, PA.

Tonight’s beer came in an off white 12 oz can. On the front with an old fashion style looks is the logo inside an oval. There is an Eagle in the center. There is a story on the side of the can, “D.G. Yuengling & Son is officially recognized as America’s oldest brewery. With over 178 years of brewing tradition and fiver generations of Yuengling Family ownership, D.G. Yuengling & Son holds the American Brewing industry record for the longest, continuously operated brewery…” There’s more, but I’m not typing it.

It has a dark amber color with a hint of red to it. There doesnÂ’t appear to be a hint of cloudiness to it and light passes through easily. . It pours a three quarter inch head that fades quickly to nothing. There is no lacing or even ring around the edge of the glass.

The scent is that of floral hops and caramel malts. If you smell it long enough, you can get a hint of corn. You can taste a mixture of caramel malts with a touch of hops. There is almost a pear-like flavor to the aftertaste that fades quickly. There is almost no bitterness to the beer.

It is a light bodied beer. There is a lot of carbonation to it that is almost distracting. ItÂ’s very smooth and easy to drink.

I have heard a lot about this beer, but never had one until tonight. The anticipation of drinking it was probably better then the act itself. To be honest to every one that has said so many good things about this beer, I think you built my anticipation up only to be let down. I really didn’t think it was that impressive. It’s like your standard American lager. There really isn’t anything all that special about it. I think this is just another beer that gets hyped due to a reputation, a reputation for being the oldest beer in America. It is easy to drink, this is one of those get drunk quick types of beers. I had the first one down in three “sips”.

Overall, I did enjoy the beer, I was expecting more, but it just didnÂ’t deliver. Overall this is not a bad beer; in fact itÂ’s a good beer. Why anyone would call this their favorite, I donÂ’t know. I give it 5 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:19 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 Holy Cow. I can actually PARTICIPATE in one of your beer reviews! Someone write this down somewhere!

Anyway - you know this is my favorite beer. Period. That being said, I don't like it out of a can. Only draft or bottle. Maybe that's a mental block, but to me it seriously doesn't taste the same.

I WILL get my hands on a case of bottles some day, and I only ask you try it again. I think you'll see a difference.

Posted by: Tammi at July 18, 2007 06:49 PM (F/bmV)

2 I've actually read that these guys make one of the better light beers - been meaning to try it...

Posted by: Shadoglare at July 18, 2007 10:44 PM (uXHVd)

3 I didn't dislike it, a 5 on my scale isn't bad. Remember 3.5 to 6.5 is your standard beers. Hell, I like Miller Lite and it only gets a 4. I'll drink it again, I think it was just all the hype that went with it that let me down. Everyone I that told me about it was saying how great it was. I was expecting ecstasy in a can.

As beer tasting different in cans, bottles and tap... there is truth to that. As well as the color of the bottle, that's why I always list where I got it from.

Posted by: Contagion at July 19, 2007 06:13 AM (gSaan)

4 Also my favorite and I don't drink it from a can - never from a can. Sorry I didn't bring you some bottles to OgFest - but the experience would have at least rated a 5.5 for ya!

Posted by: oddybobo at July 19, 2007 07:31 AM (mZfwW)

5 I am going to have to go with Tammi on this one. Did you see my reaction when i saw dad brought you cans. I think this beer is strides better from a bottle.

Posted by: Sari at July 19, 2007 07:36 AM (6rnHt)

6 I'm not much on the yuengling beers myself. Maybe it's because I haven't drank it out of a bottle yet. My favorite is Corona and I only drink it out of glass bottles. Doesn't taste the same out of a can or maybe it's seeing the lime floating in the bottle. Makes me think of lounging on the beach with a cabana boy waving a palm leaf over me. Okay now that I'm not daydreaming, I will call Wil and tell him to bring back some bottles for the next event.

Posted by: red at July 19, 2007 10:46 AM (02Gtr)

7 Yuengling is much better in bottles but still wouldn't top a 5.5 or 6. It might be even better if you drink it out of a pitcher!

Posted by: Biloxi at July 19, 2007 07:45 PM (5Vn9d)

8 Just wanted to let you know I read and enjoyed this review :-)

Posted by: Harvey at July 24, 2007 06:29 AM (L7a63)

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For the last couple of weeks some kind of animal had been getting into our trash, ripping the bags open and spreading garbage all over our yard and the alley. I was getting really annoyed and I didnÂ’t know what to do other then try to find a more secure way to deal with the garbage. That was until this morning.

Ktreva had left for work with Clone already leaving me home alone. I was packing my cooler for work when I looked up and saw two guys going down the alley pushing a grocery cart full of bags. I see one of them touching our garbage bags and I can see heÂ’s about to tear it open. HeÂ’s obviously looking for pop cans (we donÂ’t recycle), if he was looking for credit card info and personal stuff; we shred all of that. It pissed me off, I realized it was these assholes that where spreading trash all over the alley and my yard.

I yell out the back window loudly, “If you rip that bag open I’m going to fill you so full of lead you’ll be able to use your dick as a pencil.” Yes, I stole a line from The Three Amigos. But I was angry and all I could think of. I never saw two homeless guys run down an alley pushing a cart so fast in my life.

The best part was that one of the new neighbors was outside when I yelled that out. For some reason they didnÂ’t want to make eye contact with me.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:39 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Dr Phat Tony, who has been on some kind of blogging hiatus, comes back just to tag me with the 8 facts meme. Since IÂ’ve already done the 5 weird facts meme, and the 6 weird facts meme, I figure that is 11 facts about me that you all know. I feel this should sufficiently cover the 8 facts that he would like me to share.

Plus I really donÂ’t think you all want to know anymore about me.

What really gets my goat (Not meaning Jill. whom I wanted killed, slaughtered and then served at a Bar-b-que.) is that he didn't even have the nerve to tell me, I had to do my random, "is he alive" checks to discover it.

You owe me beer Dr. Phat Tony!

Posted by: Contagion at 05:29 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Well, I really need to do some yard work. Beside the dead squirrel that has been in my front yard for almost two weeks, it hasnÂ’t been mowed in almost three. Part of that has been because IÂ’ve been out of town, the other has been that ever day I went to mow the lawn, the skies opened up and rained on me. IÂ’m not fond of mowing in the rain. ItÂ’s supposed to rain of an on for the next three nights, and then IÂ’m busy again. It looks like IÂ’m just going to have to bite the bullet, go out and mow in the rain. Especially since that nomadic tribe of plains people have returned. I really wish I had some of my re-enacting buddies with me to help fight them off. Or give me beer. OÂ’well, IÂ’ll do what I have to do.

As for the Squirrel, well lets just say IÂ’ve chosen to ignore it. What better way to keep the neighbors at bay then having a rotting animal carcass at the base of your driveway? Yea sure itÂ’s been there since about July 3, well at least thatÂ’s when I noticed it. With us being busy and gone, I just havenÂ’t put much thought into it. However with all the heat we had last week the thing has gone bloated and popped already. ItÂ’s pretty much just a furry fly covered skeleton that is getting ready to stand up and start walking the earth in search of squirrel brains. IÂ’ve got to go pick it up tonight because itÂ’s in the way of the mower, and as much as I know it would make my neighbors all squeamish to see it, IÂ’m not mulching a damned squirrel.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:43 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Today is KtrevaÂ’s Birthday. As a present I bought her a Colt 1991A1 .45 in the commander model. This way sheÂ’ll leave mine alone. She seems very pleased with it. Which is a good thing.

IÂ’ve spent three hours trying to come up with words to express how much I love and appreciate her, and IÂ’m just not capable of doing it. IÂ’m just not that kind of wordsmith or poet. How can a heathen like me even begin to describe how I feel every day I wake up next to her? The way I canÂ’t help but look at her beautiful silky red hair flowing over the pillow like cascading waterfall catching the subtle ambers of a sunset. The beauty of a Celtic goddess sleeping, her head lying perfectly still as the corners of her mouth form a slight smile. When I touch her, the softness of skin is like that of rose petals on a soft summer morning. As I look at her, my heart beats a little harder and my breath quickens just knowing that I am fortunate enough to have her as my wife. I have no way of telling her these things. I canÂ’t, for she is my love and I to clumsy to profess my love of her.

But I do wish her a very Happy Birthday. And I would appreciate it if all of you could go wish her a Happy Birthday as well.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:06 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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This last weekend went to prove a point I’ve been telling people for years. It doesn’t matter what the event is like, if you are with friends you’ll have a good time. Four years ago we did Theatiki for the first time, it was impressive and we had a lot of fun. Made some new friends and thought it was a great event. Since then it has rapidly been dying off. Three years ago they uninvited all the food vendors that served meals instead of just ice cream and popcorn. Then they started losing vendors, unfortunately some of the good vendors left and some of the crappy ones stuck behind. They moved the weekend it was one, participants started dropping out and even though it’s a “juried” event (Meaning you have to pass inspection and meet a standard of period correctness set by the event), there are a lot of people that were wearing and displaying things they shouldn’t. IE it was not period correct for the 1750’s that this event was set.

This year the camp was about barren. The military unit camp looked vacant, trader row was about 1/3 of what it was the first year we did it. Thank god for the Buffalo Man or Ktreva and I would have been stuck having to live off of ice cream and popcorn. The rapidness of this even collapsing is surprising. To be honest there has to be some kind of internal power struggle or sabotage going on in order for this rapid of demise. But this even is not dead yet. As my friend Will pointed out, they have a great opportunity right now to turn the event around and bring it back to something great.

Even with all of that going on, we had a great time. Why? Good friends. We camped in our usual spot, our friends Will and Red showed up. Their daughter Sari drove down from college to spend the weekend as well. We should have known we were in for a heap of trouble Friday when after all of us changing into costume, Will and I set down to do some drinking. We started with all the left over beers from my reviews. After finishing ALL of those off, we switched to WillÂ’s beer. We were about a case into it when two of the Rangers showed up. Ray and Sgt. Smiley came down and in typical Brit fashion got both Will and I to volunteer to fight in the battle the next day.

We had some more visitors, drank some a lot more beer and then decided to head up to their camp. Of course we leave our camp armed to the hilt. We’re a little on the “socially lubricated side”, and allegedly making some very strong anti-ranger, anti-Brit and anti-Indian comments. Finally we find the manky Anglish gits and set about to deplete their supplies of alcohol. Okay, at this point things start to get fuzzy. I do know that someone gave me a rum horn at one point and I about drained the thing. There was some worry that I was going to collapse it like a little kid sucking on a juice box. Ktreva got tired and headed back to camp. When it came time for us to head back, poor Red and Sari had to keep us in line. And in my case, use my possibles bag strap as a leash to keep me from wondering into other camps. I laid down in the tent to get some sleep and it started spinning like a top. How do you get the tent to stop spinning if you are already on the ground? I was woken up by the sounds of recycle beer and rum splashing off the back of my teeth. With what great speed I could muster I flung myself out of the tent… two feet and preceded to do something I haven’t done in a long, long time at an event. Vomit from drinking too much.

Saturday morning I felt fine, I was a little foggy headed, but felt fine. Until the womenfolk reminded Will and I that we volunteered to fight in the battle. We both looked at each other and stated, “That doesn’t sound like something I’d do.” After breakfast we did the woods walk battle, burned a bunch of powder and walk through the most spider filled woods I have ever been in. I was coated in head to toe in spider webs. After the battle we kind of looked at each other and decided that was too much like work and were going to desert.

When Ray showed up Saturday night to try to recruit us again for Sunday the first words out of my mouth were, “We aren’t drunk enough to volunteer again!” Saturday night wasn’t as wild and crazy as Friday… mainly because we ran out of beer and Sari wouldn’t make a “B double E, double R, U, N… BEER RUN!”(There ya go Harvey, thanks for the link.) Well she did offer earlier in the night, but we thought we had enough between my growlers and Will’s stash. We were wrong. And at 11:00 PM she didn’t feel like driving into town. Not that I blame her.

The Buffalo Man, his wife and assistant came down to join us around our fire Friday night. Stories were told, some great laughs and a couple of things I just would have never thought I would have heard aboutÂ… Like a gay Klingon wedding at a Sci-Fi Con, or Buffalo Man mixing a Klingon outfit with an elf outfit and going to a Con as Kay-Blar. (Keebler) ThatÂ’s right he was the Klingon Elf Kay-Blar and he would hand cookies out to the other Klingons. From what he was telling us, that didnÂ’t go over too popularly with the Klingons.

We also discovered that I can do a plausable version of Herbert, the creepy old man from the Family Guy. Which once I got started doing, I couldnÂ’t stop. The ladies were all creeped out by it; I think Will and I just found it funny. Especially when a creepy flatlander kept coming by to take pictures of the ladies. I couldnÂ’t help but to keep the joke going.

Even though the event itself was kind of crappy, we had a lot of fun because of the friends and the company. There were some mistakes madeÂ… mainly not enough beer. Definitely need to bring a second cooler to Galesburg if weÂ’re going to be drinking like that.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:11 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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