Last night I caught a glimpse of what might be the new neighbors. It looks like they are setting into moving in possibly as soon as this weekend. Then this morning I saw someone standing out by their garage looking at the roof. (Yes, the one I dropped the tree on).

So do I start doing werid stuff now, or do I wait until they get settled in?

Posted by: Contagion at 06:17 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.

For the love of Jack DanielÂ’s! It seems that blogspawn Bruce had his meme cherry popped by Blog Grandpappy Harvey. Yea, I know whoÂ’s cherry hasnÂ’t Harvey tried to pop? In vengeance over the whole thing he tags me with the 8 random facts MEME.

Eight random facts? I swear in December of 2005, I was tagged with 5 weird facts, and then in April of 2006 I was tagged with the 6 weird facts or habits meme. Who the hell keeps this thing going and keeps adding facts? Why, why canÂ’t you leave some of us alone and in peace? Why must you sit there and make us bare our souls to the world? ItÂ’s because youÂ’re a sadistic little couch monkey isnÂ’t it?

Anyway, 9 “random” facts about me. Okay here are the rules:
Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag eight other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

A) There is always some form of alcohol in my house that I will never drink. I donÂ’t know why, but itÂ’s there. Right now I have 5 small bottles of tequila and some funky flavored rum that I canÂ’t stand. Yet, I refuse to dump it down the sink

2) I collect key chains. I have over 1,000 of them. IÂ’m not sure exactly how many because I stopped counting years ago. There are so many of them, I canÂ’t even display all of them anymore. Only the ones I like are displayed.

D) I own more knives then any two people I know. They are all over the place. I display some, I have some in drawers, and I have a bunch in boxes in the basement. Hell, IÂ’ve even carried a knife with me everywhere I go since I was 12, even to school.

4) I can fall asleep at night in under 30 seconds most of the time. This irritates the hell out of my wife. I can lay my head on the pillow and be asleep faster then it takes her to find a comfortable position in the bed.

G) I have nicknames for everyone I have ever met. They just donÂ’t know what they are, and I normally donÂ’t share them with that person or anyone else. Mainly because I canÂ’t remember their real names when I first meet them and I have to have a way to catalog their face in my memory.

5) I once was arrested for urinating in public. That is a story for another time.

E) I spent a weekend testing a theory that a professor of mine stated in college that a person could survive on beer and vitamin supplements with no ill effects. She was a damn liar, and even though it was happy 5 days, IÂ’ll never repeat it. (This is a story for another time, oh and my weekends went from Wednesday through Sunday in college)

Finally. I harass and pick on people that I like. If I harass you, pick on you, or make slightly snarky/mean comments to you in jestÂ… itÂ’s because I like you. Yea, I never really grew up as a child.

And IÂ’m not tagging anyone with this, becauseÂ… well most of us have done it already.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 567 words, total size 3 kb.

Ktreva picked out this weeks beer. She found one that I had never seen before, in fact IÂ’m not even sure where she got it. The label isnÂ’t in English, and the alphabet it is in has letters the standard English alphabet doesnÂ’t have. As far as I can tell from the label the name of the beer is Krusovice Imperial and is from the Czech Republic.

It comes in a 1 pint .9 fluid oz brown bottle, with gold foil at the neck. The label is a golden color with the name of the beer in a red square. There is other writing on the label below the brand type, but the lettering is almost the same color as the label and can not be read.

It pours a crystal clear golden yellow with an orange tint. There is a decent white head, about three quarters of an inch that fades quickly. There is some lacing on the side of the glass, but it mainly disappears with in moments of appearing.

The sent is a mixture of grass, floral hops and various earth tones. It reminds me of smelling a beer while standing in a freshly plowed field. There is a nice malt flavoring blended with floral hops that makes the beer very palatable. There is a slight bitterness to it, and the true flavor of the beer starts to come forth as it warms.

This is a medium bodied beer. There is a decent level of carbonation that is pleasing to the tongue, but doesnÂ’t make it sit heavily.

Surprisingly this is not like most European lagers IÂ’ve had of late. It isnÂ’t a weak watery flavor with no body. It isnÂ’t something IÂ’d really want to drink a lot of on a hot summer day, but itÂ’s worth a try. IÂ’ll rate this 4.5 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 314 words, total size 2 kb.

I WARNED YOU! I WARNED YOU! But did any of you believe me?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo! But I have proof! The Rockford Register Star reports on May 25, 2007 “Watch out for zombies; the threat is real.” By Wally Haas!

Since I donÂ’t know how long the article will stay up until the government takes it down in order to hide it from us, IÂ’ve copied the whole thing here so as to warn all of you.

They started in North Carolina and have been making their way west. I’ve seen subtle signs that they’re approaching Rockford. We all need to be aware — the zombies are coming.

The threat of zombies taking over the country was first brought up last year in an email that was received at the Charlotte Observer.

The subject line: “This is a very serious situation.”

“Every day I see countless articles about politics, the war, and why flip-flops aren’t good for your feet, but I also see Charlotteans neglecting the important news.

“The threat of a zombie attack.

“The dead are everywhere: in our cemeteries, in our morgues, in our own backyards ... The potential for an undead uprising is huge. There is no question we’d be overcome — we would be no match for their brute strength and blind determination to feast on human flesh. Zombies don’t have a sense of mercy. I can only appeal to parents to sit down with their children and discuss emergency evacuation plans, which household items make the best weapons, and how to recognize when a loved one no longer has a soul. Please, Charlotte, concentrate on the real danger.”

Ed Williams, editorial page editor of the Observer, quickly alerted his peers to the threat. Editorial page editors, editorial writers, columnists and community conversation editors across the country, being the serious types that we are, responded accordingly.

“Oh come on. We can’t print this,” one editor replied. “It contains a glaring factual error. Zombies feast on human BRAINS not flesh. That in mind, I leave the threat assessment as an exercise.”

Some tried to be reassuring.

“Don’t worry. It’s that time of the year. We have loads of them in Ventura County, California. Only they’re called politicians.”

Others were not as dismissive.

“We clearly have been disrespecting the undead segment of our respective readerships in a less-than-politically-correct manner; hence, we owe them our apologies. One would not want to try to explain a zombie suit to one’s newspaper’s libel insurer.”

Others were more practical.

“We got that (email) in Detroit, localized. We deleted it.

“And then the zombies came … we really flogged ourselves when several were elected to the Michigan Legislature.”

Looking at the official portraits of some of the men and women in the General Assembly and reading some of the legislation theyÂ’ve proposed, IÂ’m not sure we in Illinois didnÂ’t elect a few zombies ourselves.

One of my colleagues said, “It wasn’t so much that they were zombies. We’ve had worse. But they didn’t complete our questionnaires so we couldn’t endorse them.”

“I think some of the Living Dead reside in Alabama. Sometimes even I wake up in the mornin’ with the zombie woof behind my eyes.”

“Clearly, this was written by someone from Pittsburgh, which is home of the ‘Night of the Living Dead,’ ‘Dawn of the Living Dead,’ ‘Day of the Dead’ and all other ‘Living Dead’ things. The living dead reside in Pittsburgh, not Charlotte.”

Pittsburgh must be a deadly place to live.

“We’ve never had to recant our support for zombies because we always couch the editorials very carefully: ‘On the question of the undead, on the other hand — oh, wait, the other hand just dropped off ...’”

“Wait uh minute, now. Are y’all suggesting that zombies don’t exist? And mocking it? I suppose next there’ll be no such thing as a gris-gris? And haints?

“I may be from South Louisiana, but I ain’t stupid. I know how to keep the zombies off-in me. (Boil a black snake, dip out some of the juice, bury it in the backyard at midnight with your underwear and two dead chickens, and you’ll be safe from zombies. Guar-ron-teed.)

“P.S. Besides, it isn’t the zombies you have to worry about. It’s the Ferengi who came back to Earth after Quark landed at Roswell in 1947. (Source: ‘Little Green Men,’ ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.’)”

“You mean the Rules of Acquisition AREN’T the guiding principles of American political life already?”

“One of our people asks if this phenomenon has anything to do with global warming. ...”

“After years of watching him campaign, I’ve always thought Al Gore might be one of ’em.”

ItÂ’s an inconvenient truth that editorial writers know more about dealing with the undead than weÂ’d care to admit.

Thank you Wally Haas, Thank you for spreading the word. And for the rest of you that thought I was a complete wack-job... see, ol' Contagion does know a thing or two about the undead.

Hat Tip to loyal friend, and true believer, Littlejoe of the now defunct Little Joe's Soapbox for sending me the link. When the zombies come, you've definitely earned your seat on the survival bus.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:27 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 870 words, total size 6 kb.

So it was that time of the week again, you know what IÂ’m talking aboutÂ… mowing the lawn. My fine contaminants let me tell you that my personal hell is having to mow the lawn in the blazing sun. After about 2 minutes I start hoping I get physically injured so I can stop. Yes, I hate it that much that I start wishing for a hospital visit to get out of it. But I think I may have found the solution to my problem.

My weedwacker broke, so I couldn’t get along the edge of the house, fence, trees, etc. Since I was already in the midst of Operation “Salt the Earth” with these unwanted weeds that keep popping up along the back of the yard, I decided to use the same chemicals instead of weedwacking. This all started a couple of weeks ago. This was the best idea I’ve had in a long time! It worked really well… a little too well. Apparently the chemical I use kills weeds, grass, flowers, bushes, small trees, insects, alien life forms and almost anything that requires sun light or sun light using products to survive.

There is a ring of dead grass around my house. Small tress and bushes are dying at an alarming rate. I figure if I spray the rest of the lawn with this stuff, I wonÂ’t ever have to mow again! ItÂ’ll be great! I can talk Ktreva into letting me pave the yard and put down Astroturf! A whole section of KtrevaÂ’s flowerbed has been returned to nothing but dirt. Insects donÂ’t even cross the barren lands IÂ’ve created. A three-year-old maple tree has returned to the earth from which it sprang, an eight-year-old bush IÂ’ve tried cutting out for 5 years is withering and turning to mulch. Everything is dying!

Well, not everything. The damn weeds that I specifically bought this product for are thriving. IÂ’ve doused them every week for a month and a half, and they just wonÂ’t die. Which is why I would have to pave the dirtÂ… I couldnÂ’t handle a yard full of these weeds. They grow faster then the grass.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:22 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 369 words, total size 2 kb.

I had to fill the truck up with gas this morning. After driving on the same tank all week and then up to Fort Atkinson, it was less then three quarters of a tank. Since the weekend was over I had been hoping that the price of gas would have dropped, it hadnÂ’t.

Fortunately for me a local bank had opened up a small loan desk at the gas station.

F@#king gas.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:21 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 78 words, total size 1 kb.

We got back from our re-enactment last night. IÂ’ve just been so out of it I havenÂ’t posted anything. We didnÂ’t leave until late Friday night. There was a Raptors game and Wes and I went to that, afterwards we headed straight home, grabbed the family, jumped into the truck and rove up to Fort Atkinson. Wes rode with us to the event. We got there around midnight. Unlike in years past, we didnÂ’t have a problem with finding someone to tell us were we could or couldnÂ’t set up. We just pulled in found a spot and set up. I didnÂ’t even try to find anyone to ask, since I have a hard time finding anyone at 5:00PM; I doubt IÂ’d be able to find someone at midnight.

The next morning when I finally got around to trying to register, it took me over an hour again. I went to the registration table and they werenÂ’t ready. After waiting for a while, they just gave me a packet and I went off and had breakfast. Even after breakfast they still werenÂ’t ready. Then when I was finally able to register I find out they increased their fees to $25.00. I guess if I had read the literature better I would have known that they made that change.

After that we took a walk around both the upper and lower camps to see if we knew anyone there. Other then a couple of the vendors, there were two demonstrators I talk to on a regular basis. The rest were all ones I know in passing or as acquaintances. The attendance for this event was down drastically from last year. There were no new faces that I saw, but a lot that werenÂ’t there from years past. Some of the people did a walk through, but didnÂ’t camp. After conversing with many of them, it seems that the quality of the event coupled with increased prices on everything is keeping them at bay.

The weather was actually pretty good. Of course we were rained on Saturday. We always plan on getting wet at this event. The temps were fabulous. Highs in the low 70s, lows in the mid 50s. We built a fire to help ward off a chill, but it never too cold. We couldnÂ’t have asked for better weather.

I also got hit with more bad news. Three re-enactors I know had heart attacks since my last event. And I just found out that another one had died a couple of months back. It seems that most people thought I knew so didnÂ’t repeat the information, thus I never found out. It has been a dark year for re-enactors. That brings the count up to 4 deaths and 9 with serious health issues for the year. That is not a good count this early on.

Saturday night the camp was pretty dead, which is very unusual. Finally later in the evening we had a bunch of people show up. Most of them committee members or spouses of committee members, it made us wonder they read some of my reviews of the event and were trying to butter me up for better ones. That and the way I was treated all weekend was kind of weird. Everyone on the committee was overly nice to me.

Saturday night also led to Wes and I having the most idiotic conversation weÂ’d ever had with other re-enactors. IÂ’m not going to go into all the details, but it started over me not wanting to pay $55.00 per person in my family to do an event, it devolved into one person not liking me calling my outfit costuming and my tent at tent. They wanted me to call it wardrobe and a lodge. I know that a lot of re-enactors do it, but itÂ’s a matter of semantics and I just donÂ’t care. Then they got pissed because I referred to re-enacting as a hobby, they said it was a lifestyle. I pressed on with it being a hobby, mainly because at that point I had been drinking for hours, and my inner arsehole had come out and I was just trying to piss the individual off. Finally it reached the point where one said Wes and I werenÂ’t really into it, and that we donÂ’t take rendezvous serious. YeaÂ… It was an interesting conversation.

Sunday was uneventful. Except for Wes making a name for himself in the re-enacting circle. He protected some kids from an animal attack. IÂ’d include that story in this post, but that deserves one all of its own.

All in all it was pretty much decided that unless we have some other friends going next year, we wonÂ’t be back to this one.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:51 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 804 words, total size 4 kb.

This weekend is the Fort Koshkonong re-enactment in Fort Atkinson. We are heading out to the event after the Raptors game Friday night. So we wonÂ’t get there until late at night, probably close to midnight. ThatÂ’s not big deal; we are used to setting up in the dark. Plus its better then trying to get up early and get up there on Saturday morning.

This very well may be the last year that I do this event. After last year's trying to get registered fiasco, the fact itÂ’s poorly run and the event is slowly dying, I just donÂ’t know if itÂ’s worth doing any more. The fact that it is dying is really what is weighing heavily on me. The main reason I do this event is to hang with friends and to shoot. Every year fewer and fewer of the vendors show up and most of my friends arenÂ’t going. In fact this year from what I can tell the only friend I know for sure is going is one I see on a regular basis, and one of them is riding up with me!

It seems that none of the River Scum are going to make it, and from what I hear Will and Red arenÂ’t going to be thereÂ… although I donÂ’t have first hand knowledge of that since they wonÂ’t return my e-mails. But IÂ’ve heard through the grapevine they wonÂ’t be there and they arenÂ’t responding to anyoneÂ’s e-mails. At the visitation last week, I spoke with others that usually attend this event, and they all said they werenÂ’t going.

So IÂ’m going to give this event another shot, see what happens, but it just might be falling off our schedule for next year.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:22 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 297 words, total size 2 kb.

Today and tomorrow I have to be a single dad while Ktreva is out of town.

The boys have been acting up incessantly since 4:00PM.

For the love of all that is good Clone was trying to figure out how to load my blunderbuss. Thankfully I keep the black powder were he can't get it. When he asked for some, I knew something was up.

Boopie is mad because he has to do homework tonight instead of having a friend come over, so he is coping that 14 year old attitude.

It's hot and sticky.

But life is good. Because on a night like this, nothing hits the spot like an ice cold Jack and Coke... quadruple.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 123 words, total size 1 kb.

WINDY!!! We have winds up to 30 mph. Now I know some of my coastal readers that are use to hurricanes will laugh at that saying itÂ’s nothing. And I appreciate that; itÂ’s how I react when I hear someone from Florida complain about it being cold at 50 degrees. What you have to remember is that we are not accustomed to winds like thisÂ… outside of tornadoes.

Clone had his preschool graduation today; yea IÂ’ll go off on that at another time. It was held at a local park that had a decent play area and a nice shelter. The wind just reaped havoc on the picnic part of the day. They tried cooking over a grill, but had a problem getting the charcoal lit, until Mr. Re-enactor boy got it started using twigs and dried grass. Then once it was started the wind blew the coals so hot that they warped the grate AND it only lasted for 20 minutes before having to add more charcoal to keep it going. Folks, I could have used this fire to smith iron. Yea, tried as I might, there was nothing I nor anyone there could come up with to help that situation. We didnÂ’t have the right materials for what we knew would work.

Bags of chips and bowls of various salads were being blown off the tables. At one point a pan half filled with hot dogs almost blew off the table, but another parent caught it. Table clothes and plates (with and without food) were flying across the park. If it wasnÂ’t for the fact that I was trying to dodge the debris, I would have found this highly entertaining.

But the funniest thing that happened was when some 4-year-old little girl decided to slide down a pole right as the wind gusted really hard. She literally flapped in the wind like a flag for a couple of seconds before her mother grabbed her. The poor thing was terrified. But not terrified to try it again and get upset when the wind didnÂ’t blow her half way to Oz.

Right now IÂ’m sitting in the house with the boys. Ktreva is in Springfield so IÂ’m playing single dadÂ… grumble. ItÂ’s 84 degrees in the house, but it sure doesnÂ’t feel like it. When the wind blows it turns the entire house into a wind tunnel. Who needs fans?

Posted by: Contagion at 05:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 406 words, total size 2 kb.

Some of the stuff kids pick up is just plain funny. Yesterday I was playing with Clone. It devolved into a tickle fight. I’d tickle him, he’d run away, and then try to tickle me. Repeat this cycle over and over numerous times. Finally I had to break away to go to the bathroom. When I came walking back into the living room I looked Clone in the eye and said, “Are you read to be tickled?” He jumps to his feet, places his hands on his hips, looks me in the eye and with all seriousness says:

“You wanna piece of me?”

The funniest part was that he did the tough guy head shake when he said it. You know the head shake; the one you see the goombas do in all the gangster movies when they are being tough. No, not the one the black ladies do when they are mad, think Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. Then he sticks his right hand out and does the Kung Fu “Come here” hand wave.

I thought I was going to have an asthma attack I was laughing so hard.

Then he got mad because I was laughing, apparently he was being serious. So I had to take him down a notch. Needless to say, much laughter ensued for the next 30 minutes.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:36 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 230 words, total size 1 kb.

1 OMG - I love that boy! He cracks me up.

Another 10 years and you're gonna have your hands full!!

Posted by: Tammi at May 24, 2007 12:04 PM (Bitcf)

2 ROTFL

Posted by: vw bug at May 24, 2007 01:40 PM (FPOeI)

3 Dude, I so have to get Youngerspawn over there to play with Clone.

I had this mental image of Clone doing that and of YS doing his "Your kung-fu is weak!" thing and I couldn't stop laughing.

We could start UFC for toddlers and make a mint

Posted by: Graumagus at May 25, 2007 07:09 AM (flE7E)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

After having some bloggers and friends make a suggestion, IÂ’ve been kicking around an idea. IÂ’m just curious that if I hosted a beer tasting, would any of you be interested in attending? IÂ’ve done quite a few reviews and I have my favorites. Some of them I would like to share. It would also be nice to get together with some of my readers for a good sit down visit. If everyone that attended brought a six pack or two of their favorite beers, we could sit back sample them and see which ones we like best. Or we could go to Old Chicago that has over 100 beers in house that way we donÂ’t have to bring anything with. But those are details we can work out later. If you are interested, please respond below by clicking yes or no.

Also this might be a good way to bring back the Blogcrawl. ItÂ’s been two years.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:00 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 168 words, total size 1 kb.

I was gifted a six-pack of TennentÂ’s of Scotland last week. Since I was gifted it, I felt I was obligated to review it. Especially since it came from a readerÂ… one that never commentsÂ… BASTICH! So if you really want me to review a beer, give me a six-packÂ… hint hint hint. What? So IÂ’m an Alcowhore! Tonight I shall review TennentÂ’s of Scotland Lager by the Tennent Caledonian Breweries.

The lager comes in a green bottle 11.2 FL OZ, which means you need to keep it out of sunlight while storing or transporting or the beer will go bad. IT has an oval body label with the name of the beer in a black circle with two thistles on either side. There is a big red T in the middle. It claims to be “Scotland’s Finest Lager”.

There is a golden yellow color to the beer. It is clear with no hint of cloudiness and light passes through easily. It pours a nice thick white head that lasts for a while. It slowly dissipates into a film on the top of the beer and a ring around the edge of the glass. There is a nice lacing on the glass.

The aroma is very faint and hard to discern. If you try really hard you can get a whiff of sweet malts with a very week hop undertone. The combination almost gives it a good bread smell. The taste is week. Mainly one can taste malts. If there are any hops to the flavor, I couldnÂ’t find it. There is not a touch of bitterness to it. There is also almost no aftertaste. From my experience this is typical of the European lagers.

It is a light bodied beer. There is a crispness to it that is refreshing. The carbonation is a little on the heavy side and it does bite the tongue.

Overall this is a decent beer. Nothing IÂ’d go out of my way for. It is a hot day here, and itÂ’s rather enjoyable. ItÂ’s not so heavy that after one or two in the heat you just donÂ’t want to drink anymore. IÂ’d rate this about a 4.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:45 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 370 words, total size 2 kb.

Fight or Flight response, the body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival. When a situation arises that we view as harmful, it is this response that prepares us for our next action. Some people will flee, or avoid the situation in order to protect themselves or others from harm. Others will attack to protect themselves or others. They say it’s a hard wired reaction that only years of training can change exactly how you respond, but either way it will be in one of those two ways.

What they donÂ’t tell you is that this response can be particularly hazardous to you, your family and your property. You see a threat and you react with out thinking. By the time your brain catches up with your actions, you realize what you just did was incredibly stupid. At that point you just hope no one was around to see it and that you can repair everything so it wonÂ’t be noticed.

LetÂ’s say you are sleeping. For some reason that you donÂ’t know you wake up. There at the foot of your bed someone is standing over you and your wife. Not a kid someone, but an adult someone. Some people might flick on a switch, others might grab a phone, and some may grab a weapon. Or they may just leap out of the bed with a spryness reserved for Hollywood Superheroes and tackle the invader, driving them to the ground and pummeling the ever loving snot out of them. When your wife flicks on the light switch to see what is happening, you notice that there is no one there. YouÂ’ve succeeded in crushing and utterly destroying the oscillating fan that was at the foot of your bed. There is no sign of anybody else in the house that shouldnÂ’t be there, and all the kids are sleeping.

Folks, I swear by all that is dear to me I woke up and saw a man standing at the foot of my bed. It was as real as the monitor in front of your face. I mean I’ve woken up and “saw” things but I realized it was just a visual memory from a dream I was having or a trick of the lighting. In this case before that could happen I took out the fan before everything became clear. I utterly destroyed it. Between the tackling and the dozen or so well placed punches, it didn’t stand a chance. So today I get to go out and buy a new fan.

IÂ’m just glad I landed where I did. If I had traveled another foot further I would have gone through the window and landed in the front yard. Did I mention I sleep in the buff? Yea, that would have helped my neighborÂ’s image of me. A fat ugly naked guy beating the snot out of a fan in his front yard, that story would spread fast.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:55 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 510 words, total size 3 kb.

1 OMG!

Posted by: oddybobo at May 23, 2007 07:54 AM (mZfwW)

2 Dude, I'm ashamed of you.

Had that been a zombie fan you'd have been bitten for sure.

Posted by: Graumagus at May 23, 2007 10:57 AM (y21Ln)

3 I dunno - you could win money if someone was handy with a video camera...

I am just surprised you didn't shoot the fan or put an axe through it.

Posted by: Richmond at May 23, 2007 11:00 AM (e8QFP)

4 That has to be one of the funniest stories I've heard. O!M!G! your poor wife must have been wondering,
"Do I laugh or compliment his strong knock out punch?"

Posted by: h~ at May 23, 2007 05:23 PM (OtPS2)

5 OMG... ROFLMAO!!! I'm with h~ that's the funniest thing I've heard in ages.

Okay, I'm just giggling too much here to think of anything else to say. Holy Crap.

Posted by: Teresa at May 23, 2007 05:47 PM (gsbs5)

6 Grau, you're right. I should have crushed the guys skull with the battle axe next to the bed. It's those damn half-awake reflexes.

As for the rest of you. Gee Thanks. I was only trying to protect my wife!!!!

Posted by: Contagion at May 23, 2007 06:02 PM (T4WRc)

7 That is hilarious! Was it a rotating fan? Then it could be a little more easy to cover your story, because it was moving.

If it makes you feel any better, I did the same thing to a life size cardboard cutout of Larry Bird, one time. I've never lived it down...

Posted by: Jabbah at May 23, 2007 06:06 PM (JOq8W)

8 I read this first thing, and have spent all day poppin' back over here wanting to leave a comment.

Then I re-read it and can't stop laughing.

You're bravery is to be commended. But I would have given a years salary to watch you fly naked out that bedroom window. The visual in my mind is just - amazing...........

;-)

Posted by: Tammi at May 23, 2007 07:24 PM (wbVY2)

9 Aw, hell, that's not too bad.

I walked the perimeter of my house with a loaded .44 Special for over an hour before I realized that the intermittent pops I had mistaken for gunfire were FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.

Yeah, that second when the lightbulb actually flickers on over your head can be embarrassing...

Posted by: Jay G at May 23, 2007 07:59 PM (+aXwQ)

10 That's hilarious...! Bet some people would pay to see the footage of that encounter...

I have the same type of fan at the foot of my bed and now every time I look at it I'll think of you... LOL!

Posted by: pam at May 24, 2007 05:59 AM (l6NIn)

11 Pam it warms my heart to know that you will be thinking of me while you're in bed.

Posted by: Contagion at May 24, 2007 06:11 AM (Q5WxB)

12 Now there's another thought that I will have to drink out of my head. Thanks!!

Posted by: Bruce at May 24, 2007 06:06 PM (tKtgB)

13 Do you think you could reenact that?

Posted by: Sissy at May 26, 2007 02:41 PM (y2kUf)

14 I'm not laughing...much. You were protecting your family, is all. Think of it as a rehearsal for an actual event that you pray never happens.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at May 27, 2007 06:14 AM (9FXen)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I received a call from my friend Matt tonight that Senate Bill 1007 (SB1007) passed the Illinois Senate today. Unfortunately I can not find anything online the corroborates this, but if it just happened today, tomorrow may be the earliest the various websites are updated. For those of you that donÂ’t know what SB1007 is, basically bans all magazines holding more than ten rounds.

Provides that beginning 90 days after the effective date of this amendatory Act, it is unlawful for any person within this State to knowingly manufacture, deliver, sell, purchase, or possess or cause to be manufactured, delivered sold, purchased, or possessed a large capacity ammunition feeding device. Provides that these provisions do not apply to a person who possessed a prohibited weapon, device, or attachment before the effective date of this amendatory Act. Provides that on or after the effective date of this amendatory Act, such person may transfer such device only to an heir, an individual residing in another state maintaining that device in another state, or a dealer licensed as a federal firearms dealer. Specifies penalties for violations. Provides exemptions. Provides that the provisions of the Act are severable. Effective immediately.

Emphasis Mine

Folks that little highlighted phrase pretty much sums up the bill. However, notice they have the word deliver in there. That means that if a visitor from out of state comes to Illinois with a large capacity magazine, say as the standard magazine for some Ruger 9MM handguns they own. They are at a range with some friends and loan them some mags to be used in their own Ruger 9mm. They technically are in violation of the law. Yes, I know itÂ’s a stretch, but that is how itÂ’s worded.

Right now if you live in Illinois our only hope is that the house votes this bill down. I urge, no let me take that back, I beg you to contact your State Representative, which can be found here if you don't know who it is, and tell them to oppose the passing of this bill. If you think it wonÂ’t pass, remember itÂ’s already two thirds of the way there. We all know the Governor will sign this law. Lets stop it in its tracks now.

My major problem with this is that it’s a gateway bill. A gateway to the more oppressive Senate Bill 16 (SB0016) that pretty much bans all “assault weapons” and their definition of assault weapon is pretty loose, including most semi-automatic weapons. That’s just opening the way to banning all firearms.

Since we are on the subject of Assault Weapons, I found this very informative video clip that truly explains the difference between an assault weapon and a semi-auto and how they are easily confused together.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:41 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 469 words, total size 4 kb.

Chili + Strawberries + Undiagnosed Stomach Problem = One miserable Contagion with really nasty tasting burps.

Excuse me, IÂ’m going to go gargle with bile to get this taste out of my mouth.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 37 words, total size 1 kb.

ItÂ’s getting closer and closer to summer. Technically it doesnÂ’t start until June 21, but many people, including myself, view summer as starting Memorial Day weekend. This year summer seems to have come early. WeÂ’ve had a lot of high temps. While there are a lot of good things about summer, it happens to be one of my least favorite seasons. It just seems to be a miserable time of the year. Here are five reasons I hate the summer.

1) Heat. ItÂ’s farooking hot all the damn time. IÂ’m a big guy and IÂ’m constantly sweating. Nothing is worse then getting out of the shower, toweling off and then 5 minutes later having to towel off again. When the humidity is high, just shoot me.

2) Skimpy clothing. Okay some are going to argue this is a bonus. IÂ’m sorry, but for every person that looks good in their really tight revealing outfits there are 5 that donÂ’t. IE yesterday at the grocery store there was one lady that looked decent in her summer skirt and halter top, however the 350 pound guy wearing denim cut offs and a mesh half shirt almost made me chunder into the lobster tank. LetÂ’s not forget the overly large lady wearing some kind of shorts that disappeared in the crack of her arse. It looked like she was wearing a thongÂ… with two overly white mounds of cottage cheese for arse cheeks. DonÂ’t get me wrong people, IÂ’m a big ugly guy, nobody wants to see me in a speedoÂ… including myself. I'm glad these people are proud of their bodies. I just wish they would be proud in private.

3) Open Windows. Don’t get me wrong, I like opening my windows. However, when you do, all the sounds of the world invade your house and car. When I’m driving home and listening to the car next to me playing that “thump-thump” crap over my stereo, it is annoying. It doesn’t matter how loud I turn my stereo up, I can still hear it. Plus I don’t want to listen to my music that loud to begin with. At night with the windows open (and living in an urban area) you get the sounds of the city, sirens, traffic, parties. This is fine early in the evening, at 2 in the morning I just want to sleep.

4) Idiots Out Wondering Around, (No I’m not talking about Iowa). When it’s cold out, these jack arses hide in their homes, bars or apartments. Now that it is warm they are roaming the streets. Sometimes they are just loud (See above about open windows), sometimes they are drunk, sometimes they come pounding on your door at the worst times wanting to know where his buddy “Fred” lives. The vandalism increases and so does property damage. Unfortunately there are laws about booby traps and hunting these inconsiderate arses.

5) No School. That means packs of kids from 10-24 are out in droves. The traffic has increased because the college kids have come home. The stores are filled with younger kids just “hanging out”. They play games in the middle of the street and don’t get out of the way. In fact just about any place I go is filled with kids June, July and August. To make matters worse they are rude, disrespectful, and can be the root cause for some of the above issues. That and if I have to listen to another sentence such as, “um, like Tina and I were um, like going to the store. And um, we ran into Brian there, and um, he was saying that Brandon was um, like totally into Tonya. And um, we were like no way. He was, um saying that Brandon like told him in person. Um and I think Tonya is like into Travis. Um….”, I'm going to try to swallow my own brain. Yea, I don’t know what’s with speech patterns today, but the word “like” is over used and using “um” ever 5 seconds makes me want to strangle them.

Sadly enough, if I could move to a quiet place in the middle of no where, I wouldn't have as many of these issues. I just can't do that.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:09 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 712 words, total size 4 kb.

Since Ktreva and I started re-enacting, we've always had a large tent. In fact for wall tents we have what's considered to be a larger then normal one. Yes, there are wall tents larger then ours, but you just don't see them that often. However, we've decided to downsize. We've had enough of these large set-ups at events that we don't need that much in order to participate. Normally our little wedge tent would be enough, but sometimes we need just a little more for the boys or if I decide to do an event alone, I don't need to bring that much gear with. So I bought myself a field tarp. What's a field tarp? It's roughly a 10 foot by 10 foot piece of canvas with ties on it. See:

Of if you want to see what it looks like on the inside:

It's actually more roomy then it looks. Now, this is just one way of setting it up, there are so many different styles that it would be almost impossible for me to list them all.

Oh, and the best part is that it took me all of about 5 minutes to set it up.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:13 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 192 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Welcome to the wonderful world of packing lite. I haven't set up anything more than a diamond in something like 4 years (ah the joys of being single). Now, is Ktreva signed on for weekends in the diamond?

And what took you so long to get it set up.

Posted by: Petey at May 21, 2007 09:22 PM (Tkl8J)

2 Should I ask what the paddle is for?

Probably not...

Posted by: Harvey at May 22, 2007 07:00 AM (L7a63)

3 Petey: Ktreva is warming up to it, but the privacy thing is kind of an issue. And hey, it was my first time setting it up.

Harvey: Paddling a canoe, and doubles as a pole. Jeez, what did you think it was for?

Posted by: Contagion at May 22, 2007 07:21 AM (Q5WxB)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I ended up going to my friendÂ’s visitation on Friday. I filled the truck up with gas, $160.00 worth (It were on fumes) and made the 3 hour drive. At this time I want to say the Verizon Wireless Navigation system on my phone rocks. Trust me, I would have never found the place. As a back up I had Mapquest directions and they werenÂ’t accurate. Like going the wrong way down a one way. But thatÂ’s not what this post is about.

I have never been so insulted by anyoneÂ’s actions like I was at the visitation. When I arrived I did not recognize anyone else there, I figured they where her family and friends that werenÂ’t re-enactors. At first I didnÂ’t even see her husband, Shane. You get so used to seeing re-enactors in their period clothes that when you see them dressed in modern clothes you donÂ’t recognize them.

Slowly I made my way through the receiving line. By the casket was her bed jacket with trade silver on it. In the casket she laid wearing modern clothes. I didn’t really start to think anything was “wrong” until I saw how the family was lined up. It was in this order: Mother, Father, Shane, brothers and sisters. As her husband Shane should have been at the head of the receiving line. Well, maybe I was wrong on that. I come to the mother shake her hand and tell her I’m sorry for her loss. She looked at me quizzically and asked, “Do I know you?” I explained that I was a re-enacting friend of Denise’s. She gave me this look and in an irritated tone said, “Oh.” I received the same cool reception from her father. Shane of course was warm and welcoming. He looked like he needed a friend.

After I finished the line, I watched the family. Shane looked like he had been put through a ringer; I mean worse then being at your wifeÂ’s visitation. They had a video slide show of pictures of Denise, only one of the pictures had her in her re-enacting clothes. This is really weird because most re-enactors I know identify themselves as a re-enactor. It is more than a hobby; it is a way of life. YouÂ’ve probably figured that out by reading me for a while. Finally some other re-enactors showed up and I was able to talk with them that is when I got the rest of the story.

Apparently the family didnÂ’t like DeniseÂ’s Native American beliefs and re-enacting. She wanted to be buried in the bed jacket and they refused to do so. Due to circumstances that are not my story to tell, the marriage is not legally recognized by the family or state so Shane had no authority to override the parentÂ’s decisions. When Denise was sick the family didnÂ’t visit, assist or comfort her as they should have. Except for her sister, whom I was told actually was accepting of DeniseÂ’s choices and was very supportive.

The whole thing really just pissed me off.

Most of the re-enactors drive 2+ hours to be there, some even came from Minnesota. For the parents to be rude to us when all we were doing was pay our respects to their daughter was uncalled for. I guess it is because I couldnÂ’t be that way, I canÂ’t understand how others could. And I could go on, but IÂ’m not going to. But remember folks, if someone you loved dies, respect them, their last wishes and the people that come to pay their respect. YouÂ’re honoring a life, not making a statement.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:27 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 608 words, total size 3 kb.

Last night was a Raptors game. As I was getting ready to leave, Grau pops over and says his shift was canceled. I had offered him my spare ticket earlier in the week, but he declined so it was offered to someone else. He was going to head to CarlyleÂ’s to do some pre-game tailgating with us. When blog son Bruce showed up, he had a spare ticket. It seems his daughter decided at the last minute to not come with. So Grau was able to snag that seat.

It was a good game, in that the Raptors trounced the River City Rage. For the Rage, or I guess looking at their play last night we should call them the River City Repressed. The big news of the night is that Bruce finally got a game ball. Now, just a little back-story. Last season I had a game ball thrown to me by a player, same with this year, and a ball given to me by one of the coaches. So I have three game balls (I gave one to Boopie). Bruce, being petty and jealous, said they didnÂ’t count because I didnÂ’t CATCH it in game play. He kept telling me that it doesnÂ’t count if you donÂ’t CATCH it. Me, I think it doesnÂ’t matter how you get one, as long as you get one.

So last night a ball is flung right toward Bruce and GrauÂ’s seats. It actually looked like it was going to hit Grau in the head. Grau, panicking batted the ball to the ground with flailing hands. When he batted it, it flew 5 seats to their right and across an aisle. Bruce, in a move I did not think was possible, leapt up, barged pass Grau, pushed some 12 year old boy out of the way and I kid you not punched a 7 year old girl in the head to get the ball. Now, he did punch her, but it wasnÂ’t intentional. Her head did whip back and she started crying as Bruce used his height and weight advantage to strip it from her hands. Folks, I'm not kidding, he really did wrestle the ball away from the kid.

In all honesty, IÂ’m proud of him. He went out of the way to secure a memento that he will forever remember. Sure he may have been a little overly rough with the kid, but it taught her a valuable lesson; If you want to keep what's yours, you need to hold on to it. ItÂ’s just too bad that based on his own rules, it doesnÂ’t count. He didnÂ’t catch the ball. To me, I think itÂ’s a valid way to get a ball, just like having a player give you the ball they just scored a touchdown with, but not to him. So Bruce, hopefully you can get over own issues with getting a game ball and can actually enjoy it.

I know I enjoy mineÂ… all three of them.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:18 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 504 words, total size 3 kb.