January 25, 2006

Trend setting.

It looks like I started some kind of trend at work. All day yesterday I was talking about the Winchester and a couple of my minions went with to pick it up. When we returned to work the minions kept talking about getting Firearm Owners Identification (FOID) cards. You need a FOID card in order to legally purchase and own a firearm in the State of Illinois.

Ktreva needs to get hers just in case there is a problem and so I can get her a pistol of her own. Also, just in case something should happen to me, there would be no legal problems with the firearms we already own. Yesterday I told my minions I was taking Ktreva to go apply for a FOID card today on lunch. They decided that they all where going to go get theirs at the same time. So today at lunch IÂ’m taking 3-4 minions and Ktreva to go apply for FOID cards.

Then they want to look at the pistols and rifles to see what they want to buy when they finally receive a FOID card. (It can take 3-4 months to be approved). All of them are novice firearm owners so I’m trying to talk them out of buying the hard to maintain and learn to operate style firearms. One of them wants to buy an AK-47 for home defense. For the first time in my life, I uttered the phrase “You’ll shoot your eye out” and meant it. I’m also trying to explain why .44 magnums and semi-autos are not good beginner weapons. I was taught and believe that you are better off buying a revolver in medium to small caliber for your first firearm. Others may disagree, but it’s my opinion and you probably won’t change my mind.

I recommend Revolvers because they are easier to clean and maintain. They are much more forgiving if you get a little neglectful than a semi-auto is. If a semi-auto isnÂ’t cleaned properly, it is more likely to jam or malfunction. The worst IÂ’ve seen a revolver do is have the cylinder not open because the release pin was gummed up. IÂ’ve seen too many semi-autos end up needing serious repair work done because of improper cleaning and storage.

I donÂ’t recommend large caliber just because when a person is first trying to learn to shoot, they need to work on control first. The kick of a large caliber gun may just be a little too intimidating and they may have issues developing control. Why not start with something smaller and working your way up to a larger caliber weapon. Plus if you are going to use it for home defense, as many claim, you donÂ’t want something that is going to blow holes in the side of your house and into your neighbors.

Not that IÂ’m a firearms expert, far from it. I just happen to be the one person they know that has a functioning knowledge of firearms. They trust me and value my opinion. No matter how funny I think it would be to watch one of them try to learn to shoot using the .450 (Yes, four five zero rifle round, not forty-five pistol round) revolver a local store has, I would strongly discourage them from buying it.

Today at work that has been what all the buzz is about. Going and getting FOID cards, looking at handguns and learning to shoot. Every time I turn around I hear someone talking about what kind of gun they want, what theyÂ’ve shot and how long before they can buy one. IÂ’ve had some other minions start asking me questions about firearms. They all know I shoot black powder, but apparently they never thought I knew a thing about modern.

I wonder if I can use this on my next work evaluation to fulfill part of my mentoring criteria.

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January 24, 2006

Buying History.

I picked up the Winchester Model 94 today. Boy was I in for a big surprise, of the good kind! First, I had checked the stores website on Sunday, they had it advertised on there for $50.00 less then they charged Ktreva. At first I thought it was a different rifle, but the medallion in the stock kind of gave it away. When I brought this to their attention they refunded her the $50.00 plus tax difference, and apologized for the mistake! How cool was that?

Here she is:

Model94.jpg
Click to Enlarge

Then I noticed something else about it that I hadnÂ’t really paid attention to when I picked it out. ItÂ’s an Illinois Sesquicentennial Commemorative .30-30 carbine. It was made in 1968 to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the IllinoisÂ’ statehood. ItÂ’s never been fired, until I today it doesnÂ’t look like itÂ’s even been cocked! There is not a blemish, scratch or mark on it. ItÂ’s in pristine condition. It came in the original box (The box has seen better days) and with the paper work! Check out this registration card!

registrationcard.jpg
Click to Enlarge

Again, how cool is that? Fortunately Winchester still has their website up so I was able to register it that way and keep the original warranty card. I donÂ’t know if the gun shop had this thing sitting around for the last 38 years and wasnÂ’t able to sell it or if they bought it off of a guy that had it in his own private collection. Either way I donÂ’t care, itÂ’s mine now!

Now some people might tell me to put this up and never use it. To me that is an insult to such a fine tool. It begs to be shot, to be used. Would you buy a car and never drive it? Would you buy jewelry and never wear it? Well IÂ’m not buying a rifle and not shooting it! The next time I can get some people together to go shooting, itÂ’s going with!

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It's a powerful fever!

IÂ’m not doing well, IÂ’m pretty sick. Maybe it is stress that is causing my illness, I donÂ’t know. Last night I barely slept, my illness kept me from being able to calm down and get comfortable. The flu sucks, but I have the worst kind of flu. I have the rondyflu. (Rondyflu: That sick feeling you get in the winter when there are no rendezvous/re-enactments to attend.) IÂ’m sicker THAN (There you go Ragingmom, just for you ) a dog.

My last re-enactment was October 15, 16 and 17. That was over three months ago! My first real re-enactment isnÂ’t until April 28, 29 30, thatÂ’s 94 days, 14 hours and 44 minutes away (at the time of this writing, No I didnÂ’t calculate that, itÂ’s on my side bar.) That my, fine contaminants, is over 3 months away! I have two trade shows I do coming up, one in February and the other in March. They take the edge off, but it wonÂ’t break the fever.

ItÂ’s gotten bad too. Just yesterday, when Ktreva was distracted by Clone, I snuck down to the basement. Finding my clothing box, I opened it up. The scent of campfire, black powder and leather came wafting out. A smile spread across my face as my eyes rolled back into my head. Memories came flooding back.

Memories of past re-enactments, of friends, of good times of good food and good spirits filled my brain. Burying my face in my clothes, I took a big whiff. The smells, the glorious and wonderful smells of campfire and grass, of pipe tobacco and bacon, of body odor and funk… Apparently, I had forgotten to wash my clothes after the last re-enactment. Even when you wash them, they will still smell of campfire, pipe tobacco and other woodland scents. Opening the box and smelling that isn’t unusual. Smell what I lovingly refer to as “Arse and funk” can be a very unpleasant surprise.

The sad part is that the rondyflu has sat in so firmly that it didnÂ’t prevent me from going in for a second whiff

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January 23, 2006

Friends, bullets and the dead.

On Sunday, I was able to get together with Wes of Bodrhan (drum) roll, please to go spend sometime at the range. After we had left the house, I received a call on my cell phone from the other world. A faint voice, barely audible spoke to me across the barriers between life and death. The voice said to me, “Contagion, It is I Graumagus.” At this point, it is important that you understand that Graumagus has been dead for the last 2 weeks.

The voice went on to say, “Contagion, how could you plan to go shooting with out inviting your old friend?”

Contagion: “But, Grau, you’re deader then a doornail. It’s not like I could just call you up in the otherworld and invite you.”

Grau: “You mean like I’m calling you now? We dead have phones too you know. We just choose not to use them, much like you.” (Remember Grau is dead so read his parts with a spooky ghost like voice in your head!)

Contagion: “Oh hadn’t thought of that. Anyways, if I had invited you, it’s not as if you could have gone. You’ve been mostly dead for two weeks. You can’t hold a gun in ghost form.”

Grau: “In order to burn powder and throw lead I would re-animate my body and come back as a zombie to shoot.”

Contagion: “You do remember I have an unnatural hatred of zombies? In fact, I have plans on what to do in case zombies rise from the ground. Plus you smelled bad enough before, I don’t want to think of what two weeks of rot on top of it would smell like.”

Grau: “Shite, I forgot about that zombie issue you have, AND I DIDN’T SMELL WHEN I WAS ALIVE! Well, just get over your hatred of zombies for one day… and I’ll wear something that doesn’t stink.” (It’s not remotely amusing if you’re not reading Grau’s parts in a spooky ghost voice!)

Contagion: “No promises, but okay as long as you bring the Colt 1991 .45. If you don’t have that, then all bets are off. I’ll turn your skull into a candy dish!”

Grau: “Deal! I’ll meet you there.”

When Wes and I arrived there was no signs of an uprising or the dead walking the earth so we sat down and started shooting. Shortly after, in walks GrauÂ’s surprisingly well preserved corpse. He brought with him his .44 mag and the mandated .45.

During a shooting break, we all had a chance to talk. Grau said he had two choices; he could have fixed his blog or gone shooting. He deciding that shooting was more important, however he was going to blame me for him not updating his blog. Sure, blame me I didnÂ’t force that gun into his hand!

Most of the time there I spent trying to get the sites adjust on my pistol. Unfortunately, I didnÂ’t have the correct tools to do it. I think IÂ’m just going to have to pay a gunsmith to site it in for me. I went through 500 rounds trying to site it and I was just not getting the sweet spot. My clusters werenÂ’t horrible, just not in the right area.

After a couple of hours, the powers needed to re-animate his corpse took its toll on him. He had to leave; now this was at 2:30. After drive time and all he should have been home around 4:00, plenty of time to work on Frizzen SparksÂ… notice nothing new. Yea, my fault my arse. Lazy bastard! Wes and I stuck around to burn through the last of the ammo. It would be a sin to go home with perfectly good ammo.

I also was able to talk with some of the other shooters there, swap stories, and talk about our firearms and such. One guy was shooting a real nice replica .45 caliber Henry rifle. (This is the first lever action that was used in the Civil War) He was pretty darn good; he had bullÂ’s eye clusters at 25 yards.

After shooting Wes and I hit “The Vaj” aka Vaj’s Garage. It’s a small bar just south of Bristol, WI. Great food, cold beer, wonderful atmosphere, and yet another bar that I like that is too far away from home. We watched part of the Steelers molesting beating the Broncos while eating our burgers. Yet another bar that has Michelob Amber bock on draft, nice and icy cold too. After we finished eating, we headed home to our families.

When I got home, I had to consol Boopie. HeÂ’s a Denver Bronco fan and was really hoping they would go to the Super Bowl this year. It wouldnÂ’t have been so bad if it had been a close game, but at 34-17, he took an emotional whipping. HeÂ’ll get over it. Its part of following a sport, youÂ’re team doesnÂ’t always win.

Other then consoling Boopie, it was a good day. I had a lot of fun, no stress and was able to spend some time with good friendsÂ… even if one smelt of rot and decay.

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January 22, 2006

My own cult... hmmm.

You Are 90% Weird

You're more than quirky, you're downright strange.
But you're also strangely compelling, like a cult leader.

As found over at That's Not Very Nice.

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January 21, 2006

I'm a lucky man

Have I mentioned how great my wife is lately? No, well she is. You want to know why? After reading my post about Winchester closing down, do you know what she did? She took me out today and bought me a Winchester model 94 .30-30. How can you not love a woman that trusts you enough to buy you a firearm? She definitely is the greatest!

Since I was out and about and obviously someplace I could buy ammo, I figured I should. Especially since IÂ’m going to go shooting tomorrow.

ammo.jpg

I got all of that for under $100.00. For those of you trying to count, and I know at least a couple of you are, that is: 250 .357 rounds, 150 .38 special rounds and 150 .22LR rounds. That makes a grand total of 550 rounds. That should last about 2.5 hours at the rate I shoot.

Jealous, arenÂ’t you? (of both the wife and the ammo.)

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Force Farce

You always hear about those feuds where two neighbors donÂ’t get along. Now imagine if you will if Obi-wan Kenobi and Jareth the Goblin King not only lived next door to each other, but also were feuding. To make it even more interesting, lets just pretend that Jareth has given up his Goblin king ways and has become a goat farmer. (Hey, it could happen!)

JarethÂ’s goats just wonÂ’t stay out of Obi-wanÂ’s yard. This has been an on going feud for a while now. I bet your just wondering what that might look like. WELL I HAVE THE ANSWER FOR YOU!

forcefight.gif


Thanks to a blogless friend of mine that keeps sending me all these things.

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Watch out for that cord!

A couple of weeks ago I saw a blog post regarding a kid at Northern Michigan University making the leaning tower of Pisa out of Jenga blocks. At the time I thought it was just another stupid stunt done by college students and blew it off. It hadnÂ’t crossed my mind againÂ… until today.

Reporter Knocks down Tower

I canÂ’t tell if that is a real event or staged. If itÂ’s staged, the acting is horrible. If itÂ’s real, that guy has to be the worse reporter IÂ’ve ever scene and dumb as a box of rocks to boot.

Either way it was funny as all hell.

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January 20, 2006

See... I are S-M-R-T smart.


Get Your Drunk Personality at LiquidGeneration.com!

I figured if T1G could handle this quiz, so could I.

And he was the violent drunk!

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I guess I never learn.

    Beware:
Drunk Blogging Ahead!


JUST KIDDING! After last weeks shenanigans, I think I'm just going to enjoy my libations off line tonight. Henceforth I'm officially turning over the computer to my loverly wife Ktreva.

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Another American Icon dead.

Talk about an end of an era. Winchester has gone Out with a Bang.

The worst part about the whole thing is that I can just see anti-gun fanatics dancing in the streets at the news of this. To me I feel sad. It makes me want to run out to the local gun shops and buy one right away, if I could afford it, just to make sure I could have one.

I love the Winchester model 94 .30-30 lever action. Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks (Deceased) had one that he let me fire. It was a great rifle, easy to shoot and damn accurate. For those of you that arenÂ’t sure what that is, think the stereotypical cowboy rifle.

Thanks to Og of Neanderpundit for the news.

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When the wrong button is pushed.

It happened finally. After weeks of crap being dumped upon me, I snapped. Don’t worry my fine contaminants; I still have a job. I said I snapped, not I went postal. I can’t go into too much detail on here for numerous reasons. It all started off with upper management questioning a decision I made. Fine, I don’t have a problem with that. They just wanted to know why I did what I did. I explained it’s because I didn’t have the resources/tools to do the job. They didn’t understand what I meant, so I gave this example: Sliding a piece of paper across the desk. “Your goal is to sign this piece of paper in under 30 seconds. It’s an easy enough goal. However, you can not use a pen or pencil, the signature has to be clear and legible.”

When I was told that isn’t possible. I explained yes it is, Just very difficulty with a bit of sacrifice and a lot of pain. They asked me then if I didn’t have the resources/tools to get do the job, then how did I meet the goal last year. I responded with, “I made them. Take a hammer away from a blacksmith and he can’t do his job. Now he may be able find a makeshift hammer that just barely works. Yet this hammer may be just good enough to make a better hammer. Then he may use that better hammer to make an even better hammer. Now he can do his job properly again. That is what I did, I found makeshift resources, used them to create better resources, and then even better resources. Finally I was able to do my job properly.” Fortunately they actually understood that analogy.

So the decision they where questioning is why I used resources outside the norm instead of the ones I was given this year. When I explained that instead of spending months starting over, I went to the reliable resources and tapped them. While they are getting the job done, IÂ’m making new resources to take over. They understood that, and wanted me to send an e-mail going into detail the whole process. Which I sent out, to all management in my office, VPÂ’s and Executive Directors explaining my actions, including hard data to support my decisions.

Then I was asked a question about our inventory. I told them that I didnÂ’t know and IÂ’ll have an answer for them as soon as possible. In the past when they asked I had always had the information for them with in minutes. When they asked me why it would take so long, it was then that my gasket blew.

Contagion: “Why? You want to know why? Do you really want to know why? Because you have me using the other offices reports and flows to do my job. It takes them two weeks to get this information; I can get it in a matter of minutes. But my way sucks, so I had to use their glorious system that was so much better. You want your data, I’ll start running it now and you can have it as soon as I get it, probably about a week.”

Upper Manager: “Why would you switch flows to something slower? If your system works better, why not use that?”

Contagion: “I’m not going to point fingers to the person sitting to my right or her counterpart, but they said how great this other system was and wanted me to use that. Since I report to those people, that is what I had to do.”

Now my Asst Manager is glaring at me. If looks could kill my head would have exploded like a watermelon being hit with a .50 cal rifle.

Asst. Manager: “When did I say that, and why didn’t you say your system was better.”

Contagion: “Last week, and I did. I said that I can get the same data faster, but everyone was all enthralled with my counterparts `success’ that they ignored me. I’m used to that. I could tell you that your chair is on fire and everyone would ignore me. When someone else points out the chair is on fire, then I get yelled at for not pointing out the fire.”

Asst Manager: “I don’t think we understood…”

Contagion: “Maybe if you guys weren’t busy telling me how everyone else is better at my job then I and listen to me, then you might have.”

Now both my Manager and Asst. Manager is looking at me as if I just physically assaulted my Asst. Manager. My Asst. Managers eyes where filled with the flames of anger. The conversation went on, but you get the idea. It was not pleasant for anyone else but me. Hell, I even made the comment in the middle of it, “Well there goes my raise for the year.”

The funny thing is that I had to do a self-evaluation today. I hate these things. If the person I report to/who supervises me, actually did their job, they would know how IÂ’m doing. IÂ’m not expecting a raise this year, not that I didnÂ’t meet my goals or that I donÂ’t think I deserve one. ItÂ’s because the person giving me the review thinks I suck. Then again I donÂ’t think the above conversation helped any.

She also wasn’t amused when I turned in my self-evaluation. The last question on the form was, “What could I (Your supervisor) do to become a stronger leader for you?”

I answered with: “Nothing, you are practically perfect in every way.”

She sent it back with a note to change that. I donÂ’t know why.

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January 19, 2006

It's in my face, but I can't grab it.

For a long time now IÂ’ve wanted to get a trailer for all of my re-enacting gear in. It would mean that we could go to an event in one vehicle instead of two, have plenty of room for ALL of our crap AND we could store our equipment in there between events. This is all very pleasing to us.

Today on lunch I decided to go check out a local RV center to see if they had any cargo trailers and to price them. We were greeted and introduced to a salesman that explained they donÂ’t normally deal in cargo trailers, but they do occasionally get some used ones in on trade. The only trailer they had on the lot was one they just recently received on a trade in. It was a 22ft long by 8.6ft long by 8.6 ft high vehicle hauler.

This was much larger then I needed. Just for giggles I thought I would ask the guy how much he wanted for it. When he said $6,000.00 my jaw about bounced off the blacktop. This was a 2005 heavy-duty car hauler; it was in excellent condition except some logos on it. I know someone that bought a trailer very similar to this one new for around $12,000.00. I was sure I was mistaken; when I asked for clarification he told me the same number.

My head screamed at me, “BUY THIS NOW!!!!” Then logic set in. It was much larger then I needed. The thing was huge. It could fit all of my gear and Ktreva’s van in the back end! The salesman was good; he knew he had someone interested. He did his best hard sell. Almost biting on the bait we went back to the office. He even offered to knock an additional $500.00 off of the price.

Logic stepped in at this time, the logical part of my brain helped me to realize why this is NOT a good idea. First itÂ’s more then I wanted to spend, yes it is a good deal, but I donÂ’t really have the money for it. The salesman brought up financing. Second. Storage, I have no place at my house to store it. The Salesman offered up storage for a year. If I stored it someplace else it would defeat half the purpose of having a trailer. I wanted something that I could keep all my re-enacting stuff and work out of between events. I couldnÂ’t do that if it was parked at a storage lot. IÂ’d have to go get it, and bring it home every time I wanted to work on my gear. IÂ’m not doing a good job of explaining this part, and I canÂ’t think of a better way unless you are familiar with re-enacting. There is a lot of gear that takes maintenance, cleaning and repairing. Then I thought about my house. There is no way I would be able to back that thing into my driveway.

I have a narrow one-vehicle driveway. At the end of the driveway are a telephone pole on one side and a bush on the other. Then I live on a narrow city street. When people park on the street (which is all the time), two cars canÂ’t pass. My neighbors park their cars on the street. They seem to think my driveway is a good central point to do this. I have problems pulling my truck out on some days because of how narrow the street is and how close to my driveway they park. Put an extra 22 feet of trailer onto that and it would take forever to get out. It was too big to park in the street.

All this weighed in and I opted to not purchase the trailer. I may regret it later, but for now I think it was the right decision. What really gets me is that after work the family and I went to a place that sells new cargo trailers and found out they want almost $3,000.00 for a brand new 12 ft long, 7ft wide and 6.5 tall trailer. Which is the size I ideally want.

IÂ’m hoping to find a good used one that fits more of what I want. So far IÂ’m not finding anything. From what IÂ’ve discovered it seems that most of the good used trailers sell quickly.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:00 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Brought to you by the letter "F"

I tagged T1G of Drunken Wisdom with a meme back in December. Thus, I cannot be too upset that he has returned the favor to me. Thus with no grief to him, I will kindly respond.

Four Jobs IÂ’ve had:

Inventory Manager

Law Enforcement

Security Guard

WelderÂ’s Assistant

Four Movies I could watch over and over and have: (I have to limit this to four? Shite!)

Groundhog Day

Original Star Wars trilogy

Evil Dead series

Gettysburg (all four and a half hours of it)

Places IÂ’ve lived:

Rockford, Illinois

Macomb, Illinois

ThatÂ’s it! IÂ’ve been to 48 of the 50 states, but I have only called two cities home.

Four TV Shows I love to watch: (IÂ’m only listing shows that have new episodes this season.)

CSI

Lost

Invasion

Survivor (guilty pleasure. The only reality show I watch regularly)

SimpsonÂ’s

Four Places IÂ’ve been on Vacation. (Only four? I could list over 400; IÂ’m going to list four favorite historical sites)

Gettysburg, PA

Mackinac Island, MI

Independence, MO

Washington, DC

Colonial Williamsburg, VA

Four Websites I visit daily. (This is a loaded question, especially with bloggers. Thus, IÂ’m not listing any blogs to prevent whining, complaining or hurt feelings)

My Yahoo Page

Green Bay Packer homepage

Green Bay Packer Message Boards

Sitemeter

NFL Home Page

Four favorite Foods!

Steak.

Sushi

Ballindalloch Chicken

Minnesota Eggs Benedict (As by DocÂ’s Wild Rice)

Hot Wings.

Four Places IÂ’d rather be. (This question is too vague. Does this mean like at this moment, in my life, permanently or on vacation? Right now IÂ’m in a good happy place with what I feel are now good/loyal friends. Hence, IÂ’m going with vacation/weekend spots)

Scotland.

Norway

Any Re-enactment.

Disney World in Florida (I love Epcot)

Nova Scotia.

Four people to whom to inflict this upon.

Obviously, OddyBobo, I still owe her one. I still owe her one

Ktreva because I want to pop her cherry again.

Richmond because sheÂ’s been making me think too much with her brainteasers.

Leslie, maybe her pent up energy from quitting smoking can be focused on something else.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:32 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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January 18, 2006

What good is all the violence in the world... Unless you have toys!

Back in the early 90Â’s I was a metal head. I know some of you find that hard to believe. Such a quiet, shy and well-reserved gentleman as myself being a disciple of that devil music. Well I was, youÂ’ll just have to accept me for who I am. In fact I still listen to a lot of metal, both modern and from the 80Â’s and 90Â’s.

One of my favorite bands from back then was GWAR. I loved this band, their songs where a mix of punk and metal with lyrics that where just for shock factor. They dressed in some pretty unusual costumes and they even had interesting stage shows. The one time I saw them in Chicago they took people from the audience and fed them through a giant meat grinder on stage. The grinder then shot “blood” and ground meat into the audience. Yes, I tried to get into the grinder, no I didn’t make get to get turned into a stage effect. They gave themselves unusual names like Oderous Urungus, Flattus Maximus, Beefcake the Mighty, Jizmak Da Gusha and Balzak the Jaws of Death. They also had some support cast that would appear or do gust songs, one of my favorites guests was the Sexicutioner (hence the title of this post, it's a slaughtering of one of his songs. )

In college I had a poster for GWAR hanging on my wall it had Slymenstra Hymen on it. My blogless buddy Jay came down to visit me one weekend while I was in college, and while drunk decided she was the hottest chic he had ever laid his eyes on. Actually to this day I think he still fantasizes about her.

So why am I giving you all this information. Simply, my buddy Shadoglare of Refractional Darkness sent me an e-mail link. THEY ARE MAKING GWAR ACTION FIGURES!!!!!

gwar_image2.jpg


Did I mention I loved this band? I have all of their albums, I had a t-shirtÂ… stupid college washing machines, and I know the lyrics to most of their songs. IÂ’m a full-blown Bohab! These guys rock! I need MUST get the entire collection! It is a moral imperative!

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Not so shocking.

It has been a while since I've regailed you with a tale of my minions. Thinking you might be forgetting what it's like to work for me, I wanted to remind you. I was thinking of which incident to go with, when all of a sudden the following happened.

This morning one of my minions tells me her phone is dead, nothing works on it, not even the lights. When I get to her desk, sure enough the phone is completely dead. She says it was working the day before and when she left, but when she came in this morning it was dead. Before I called the help desk on this, I thought IÂ’d look to see if it was unplugged.

It had been a while since I had “fun” with one of my minions and this was just the perfect time to do it. Thinking to myself why not, I started talking to my minion:

Contagion, “It looks like you yanked some wires out of the plug.”

Minion, “Okay, I’ll call the help desk.”

Contagion, “Now, just wait a second. This is just like phone wiring; I think I can repair this.” (I do some repairs around the building, it’s not part of my job duties or description, but I know how and it’s faster then the help desk. Then once I get it working, I call the help desk to let them know.)

Minion, “Okay, do you need me to do anything?”

Contagion, “Nah, just stand back and hand me stuff as I ask for it.”

Minion, “Have you done this before?”

Contagion, “Not on this type of phone, but electrical and phone wiring is all pretty similar, it shouldn’t be that different. It’s just a matter of conecttinngngngngngngngngngngngngngngngngngng” (Feet flailing kicking the ground, body gyrating like a drunk trying to do the centipede, head banging like a some one going through shock therapy, facial muscles tense as lips are peeled back in grimace of pain. This goes on for about 10 seconds)

Meanwhile, Minion, “OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD!” (Panicked look on face Blood drained from head, eyes as wide as saucers, doing the “I’m scared dance”)

Contagion: (Stops flailing and is laughing his arse off)

Minion, “I SO HATE YOU! YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME! YOU ARE NOT A NICE PERSON!”

Contagion, “You’re eyes were huge and the color still hasn’t come back to your cheeks… that was funny as all heck!” (Yes, I said heck. At work, my language is as clean as the Pope’s is during mass. Unless, I’m really, really pissed and then I may use the occasional “damn”)

(Ktreva goes walking past. We work together, no she is not a minionÂ… anywhereÂ… sigh)

Minion to Ktreva, “I hate your husband. He’s a jerk.”

Ktreva ignores minion as she is in a bad mood and heading somewhere in a hurry

Contagion, “See, she doesn’t care either.”

Minion to me, “Someday, somebody will get back at you for doing stuff like that.”

Contagion, “Someday was six years ago and that somebody was Ktreva.” (Grins)

Minion, “I’m telling her you said that!”

Contagion, “Be my guest, it’s not like I haven’t said it to her.”

Minion, “I don’t know how she puts up with you.”

Contagion, “Neither do I. That reminds me, time to buy her more jewelry. Keep her happy and my life is easier. Now go sign on to another computer, I can’t fix this. I’ll get the help desk involved”

My minion is still glaring at me, and this happened five hours ago. Some people just donÂ’t have a sense of humor.

Posted by: Contagion at 01:09 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 610 words, total size 4 kb.

January 17, 2006

Searches gone wrong.

I feel sorry for the poor schmuck that found me while searching for Sensitivity Class. Anyone want to bet that I wasnÂ’t what that person was looking for?
Sensitivity.JPG

CÂ’mon, thatÂ’s just funny!

Posted by: Contagion at 04:55 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

Wasted Day.

Last weekend was a long weekend for me. I had Monday off work because of Martin Luther King Day. Now I appreciate the day off, and this year it was timed just right to keep me from blowing a gasket. However, I would rather have worked yesterday. I just had Christmas and New Years off; did I really need another holiday two weeks later? What am I going to do with this day besides sit at home? ItÂ’s the middle of January. I do NOT do winter sports at all.

We also have Presidents day in February. Both of these holidays irritate me. Why canÂ’t they give us the day after the Fourth of July off? How about the Monday after the Super Bowl? Maybe even the day after Halloween. I feel like IÂ’ve wasted a vacation day when these holidays come around.

Staffing ways for work, it is also a nightmare. January is typically our busiest month of the year, surprisingly the Tuesday after MLK day is our busiest day of the year. The whole week is busy because we are making up for having Monday off. That means long hours/over time for everyone to help cover the increased activity. Logistically speaking it would be easier on the staff to work that day.

Looking at my approved vacation for 2006, I can see numerous one-day requests. It would be better for me to have two floating holidays or two extra vacation days then for them to give me MLK and Presidents day off. At least then, I know I would be doing something I enjoyed on those days. I can make sure that they are days off that actually help me.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day playing with Clone (the grouch) while watching the entire season of Firefly. What else was I going to do? The wife had commandeered the computer to blog and play the Sims 2 all day. Over all it wasnÂ’t a bad day, but I could think of better things I would rather do.

Posted by: Contagion at 01:06 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 344 words, total size 2 kb.

January 16, 2006

There's no going back now.

Well, it looks my secret is out of the bag. It figures it was Tammi that spilled the beans first. She has a nasty habit of doing just that.

So there it is. Ktreva finally got off her butt and started a blog, The Reality Ranch. ItÂ’s about damn time. Her Royal Yappiness can finally have another outlet for her uncontrolled need to communicate other then talking to me. That means I can spend more quality time playing Madden and Blitz instead of having to pretend to listen to her.

On the downside, I think IÂ’m going to have to buy a laptop with wireless. With only having one computer in the house, that could lead to a fight over who gets to use it.

Go over and give her a warm and friendly welcome. Just be nice to her, remember who she married. Hasn't the poor girl been put through enough?

Posted by: Contagion at 09:24 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 162 words, total size 1 kb.

January 14, 2006

So I'm not in touch with my feelings.

Your EQ is
60

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Stole this quiz from Richmond. Makes you wonder how I function in the world doesn't it?

Posted by: Contagion at 06:38 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 151 words, total size 1 kb.

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