I'm pretty open to all kinds of food. I'll try meat from any animal at least once, just to see how it tastes. Yet for some reason this just seems wrong to me.

Who would go to that kind of trouble to eat a squirrel? The lady that is doing the talking seems a little off too. Who the heck would take squirrel melts to a football game or tailgate party?!?!?!?!

Yet at the same time, they do look kind of good. Maybe I should try one.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:12 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

The burger wars have finally gone too far.

Now Grimace is going to put a cap in the KingÂ’s arse for revenge.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:43 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

A couple having trouble in the bedroom seeks the help of a well-known sex counselor. During their initlal consultation, the professional tells the couple they need to undergo a routine physical, and after completion, she will be able to help.

The couple does as they are instructed, and they come back a week later.

"OK! After reviewing my physicians notes, we're ready to start." she says. "I see that you two are both in great health, and in your questionaire you both stated that you genuinely love each other. So let's start somewhere. What seems to be the problem?"

After uncomfortable glances at one another for a brief moment, the man's wife speaks up.

"Well, I'm still very attracted to him, that's not an issue. I guess we've run out of things to try," she says.

"Have you tried grapes and doughn.u.t.s?" the counselor asks.

"I beg your pardon?" the man replies.

"Grapes and doughn.u.t.s. Go to the store tonight, and buy both. When you get home, go to your bedroom, undress, and you sir get on the bed. Have your wife play ring toss with the doughn.u.t.s, and... well..."

"Um, ok?" he says.

"When she lands a ring toss on the pole, her prize is to eat the doughn.u.t off of... the pole," says the counselor.

"Ahh... I get it." says the man.

"What about the grapes?" asks the woman.

"After he's aroused from the game of ring-toss, trade places and get on the bed. Have him try to make a field goal by flicking a grape into... your..." the counselor stalls.

"OK, I get it, and his prize is to fetch the grape, right?" she asks.

"Yes, you've got it! Now go to the store, and get home!" commands the counselor.

That night, the couple did exactly what was stated. Each ring toss that she got, she ate the doughn.u.t off, and every time he scored a field goal, he would fetch the grape out with his tongue. The couple was so amazed by the results that they shared their success story with a couple of friends who were having bedroom trouble as well.

"Here's the number, give her a call. I guarantee you won't be sorry!" says the woman to her friend.

So the new couple goes to see the therapist, and again, after the initial visit and physical, the couple returns for their news.

The counselor is pacing back and forth in her office as they walk in.

"Sit down, sit please... I'm not sure how to..." the counselor blurts out. "I don't think I'll be able to help you."

"WHAT? NO WAY. You solved our friends problem, why can't you help us?" begs the man angrily.

"I just can't. This is very difficult for me to say..." she says.

"What is the problem doctor? Won't you at least try?" begs the man's wife.

"I don't know..." the couselor stalls.

"Please, you've got to understand, we've tried four or five doctors before you. We've got to have an answer to our problem!" says the man's wife.

After many seconds of stumbling over thoughts, and trying to find the right words, she finally speaks. "Well... OK... On your way home tonight, stop at the store. Buy some Cheerios, and some watermelons..."

As stolen from an e-mail sent to me by a friend.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:37 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 561 words, total size 3 kb.

Ever wanted to know how long you have left to live? No, well then youÂ’re just weird because everyone wonders that. Over at The Death Clock they can tell you what day you are going to die and how many seconds you have left to live.

Me? Yea, I always knew I was going to die young.

Yes, I answered honestly.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

Think you hate your job? Maybe you have had a bad experience with an employee. Perhaps there is a co-worker or boss you despise. Now there is a site for you to go and vent to anonymously or read otherÂ’s problems, Disgruntledworkforce.com.

IÂ’ve read many of the posts, some are legit, some are stupid, but there are many that are amusing.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:18 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 65 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, I’ll be damned; the meteorologists actually got one right. Heck this morning on the TV one of the local guys even made the comment, “We finally made an accurate prediction on a winter storm.” I just got in from shoveling 13 inches of snow off of my driveway and sidewalk. We don’t own a snow blower mainly because we don’t have enough pavements to justify the purchase. Top that off with the rest of the day I’m hurting.

Yes, I went to work. I loaded up the family in Janine and headed out. We had no trouble navigating the roads what so everÂ… then again a couple of times Ktreva had to point out I wasnÂ’t on the road anymore. Damn snow made all the landmarks disappear and I couldnÂ’t tell where the edge of the road was. Still, we couldnÂ’t tell we werenÂ’t on the road and we had no trouble what so ever. After dropping off the boys we headed to work, I even took the scenic tour so we could view the idiots that where in accidents. There were 7 cars ditches, 3 rear-endings, 2 intersection t-bones and 1 jack knifed Tractor-trailer. . The idiots who think that four wheel drive means they donÂ’t have to be careful were out in force When I stopped at the gas station to get something to drink, the people working thought I was insane for enjoying the weather.

Of course I get to work and a quarter of my staff has called off. “It’s too dangerous to drive.” Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. 3 of the people that called off drive 4-wheel drive SUVs and one lives less then a mile from work. They just didn’t want to come in and used the snow as an excuse. My employees that did show up even thought they were over-reacting. Especially since two of them told everyone the day before they where going to call off. It just annoys me that some people have a lack of work ethic. The ones that did show up today had a cakewalk day. I let them work on what ever they wanted and all the management got together and brought in pizza for them for lunch.

Now there is some downside to this weather. We have a new plowing company at work and they did a crappy job of cleaning off the parking lot. Not only did the not clean the entrances out, but they started late and plowed a lot of people into parking spaces. I spent most of the day helping employees at work get their cars out of snow banks, drifts and plow piles. I dug and pushed out 19 cars from 7:00AM to 2:30 PM. Some of my employees started worrying that I would hurt myself and wanted to know why no one else was helping. The told me that I should stop. As I told them, if I was stuck in the snow I would want someone to help me. Thus I see people that need help, IÂ’m going to help them. ItÂ’s the golden rule; treat others as you would like to be treated.

Right now IÂ’m sore from head to two. So if youÂ’ll excuse me, IÂ’m going to go medicate with some Jack DanielÂ’s.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 555 words, total size 3 kb.