December 31, 2006
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May luck be on your side.
Oh, and for something a little more warming, I have some New Years gifts for you in the extended entry. Yes, they are marginally NSFW.
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December 30, 2006
HereÂ’s a video of them walking him to the gallows. They donÂ’t actually show him being dropped, but IÂ’m sure over time that will be leaked to the net.
Good riddance.
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December 28, 2006
I doubt you found your answer to what a Graumagus, especially since most people donÂ’t know. As far as I know, there is no definition of a Graumagus. So for you, my inspired inquirer, I will try to answer the eternal question, what is a Graumagus?
There is only one Graumagus (Argumentum Sphinctorus Homo Sapien). He is a friend and companion. One can rely on him when heÂ’s needed, as long as it doesnÂ’t require him to update his blog, Frizzen Sparks. Then you are out of luck for Graumagus is a fickle creature. He will say he is going to blog, and then he will stop with no notice. Only to pick up a month later lamenting his lack of blogging and getting your roped back in with posts only to go on hiatus again. His last message advised of the demise of Frizzen Sparks. However, he hinted to the fact that it was going to rise from the ashes on a different system. That was over a month ago. The Graumagus is a damn liar when it comes to blogs.
The Graumagus is politically boisterous. He has his views and opinions on everything from what the president is doing to what kind of shaving cream a person should us on their arse. For nothing more then giving him the impression that you are paying attention to him, he will gladly share these with you, in detail, ad nauseum. He can spend copious amounts of time describing the folly of liberal thinking.
Mainly the Graumagus is a useful creature to have around when there is an over abundance of alcohol that needs to be consumed. Thus decreasing the surplus in a region. There has yet to be an alcoholic beverage he will not drink, even at risk to his own brain cells and internal organs. He is also very useful in uplifting spirits and cheering up friends. Of course with the workaholic tendencies of the Graumagus, he doesnÂ’t have much time for either.
Oh, and heÂ’s HarveyÂ’s hetero life-mate and part of the unholy union that spawned many bloggers.
There, that is what a Graumagus is.
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0-3: Swill that should not be consumed by man or beast. This is the type of beer one uses for making beer brats, or in the case of energy beers, water the lawn. If someone gifts you a beer that ranks a 0-3 on my scale, you are allowed to not drink it and pour it down the drain after the gifter leaves. However, you are obligated to gift them a 0-3 scale beer. Of course that is unless they were returning said beer to you.
3.5 to 6.5: These tend to be your standard beers. They have a decent quality, but nothing all that outstanding. Most beers fall into this category. IE any of your standard American beers; Miller, Budweiser, Coors, etc as well as many of your micro-brews and imports. These tend to be the beers that most people drink on a daily basis.
7.0 to 9.5: Beers that are exceptional. These are the beers that when you taste one, you tell all of your friends about with the caveat “You HAVE to try this.” These are the beers that a person savors and enjoys. These are the beers that brewmasters strive to make. One that if you have a six pack, that last beer will sit in the fridge longer because you don’t know when you’ll get more. These are the beers that when I find one, I like to buy a six-pack to share with friends so that they can sample it as well.
10: The Perfect Beer. There cannot be a perfect beer, nothing is perfect, there can always be better. You may think you have the perfect beer, and then 10 years down the road someone brews one even better. I highly doubt I will ever bestow a 10 on a beer. If I do, it will be the day I stop sampling new beers.
So there you have it, my rating scale. Maybe itÂ’s a little harsh, maybe itÂ’s too broad, but thatÂ’s how I tend to rate everything on a scale of ten. 3.5-6.5 being average.
You can see all my beer reviews in the Alcohol Archives.
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December 27, 2006
WeÂ’re looking for attractive, multi-talented women in the state line area to represent our organization. To audition for the Dynomite Cheerleaders you must be a high school graduate and between 18-30. Selections to the group will be based on personality, poise, athleticism and dance ability.
WHEN: Sunday, January 28th 10:00a - 4:00p
*Registration begins at 10:00am sharpWHERE: Holiday Inn, 7550 East State Street, Rockford, IL 61108
*Auditions will be held on the lower level in room ABDirections: From I-90 W; Take the STATE ST/US-20 BUSINESS exit. Take the ramp towards ROCKFORD. Hotel is located at the intersection of E. State and Bell school rd.
BRING: Recent full-body length photo. Plenty of water and a lunch
REQUIRED ATTIRE: A two-piece form-fitted outfit is mandatory.
Hair must be worn down (no clips or ponytails). Dance or athletic shoesCOST: $20 non-refundable application fee. Please have check or exact change.
*Applications are available online at www.raptorsuif.com or at the door!
*If you have additional questions call our office 815 965-7000 or email Jen at dynomites@raptorsuif.com
I can think of some pretty sexy lady bloggers out there that could try out!
Would it be creepy if I went to watch? What? I watched the team try-outs. It's for the same reason, I want to see the athletic prowess of the people trying out.
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When we bought them, it was a noon game. The week before we went to see them it became a 3:15 game. This annoyed me as the reason we wanted the noon game was so we could drive up, see the game and get back with enough time so we werenÂ’t rushed.
We werenÂ’t rushed before the game because we had a hotel room for Saturday night. After the game, we had to run to the vehicle, hop and drive like madmen home. It annoyed me, I bought those tickets because I wanted a noon game and they moved it on me.
This year the NFL decided that during week ten they would start a flex schedule. They would pick one game slated for earlier in the day and put it on Sunday night. Why? Better TV ratings, if the game was more exciting or important more people would watch. Thus they would get better ratings AND advertisers would spend more to put their commercials on during that time. ThereÂ’s only one problem. They where screwing the people that had tickets and the ones that made plans based on start times of certain games.
Lets take this weekend for example. The Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers were scheduled for noon on New Years Eve. Being a Packer fan and living in Northern Illinois, I know there where a lot of people that were making plans around this game. Hell even I invited some people over to watch the game before my regular New Years celebrating started. Four different people I know bought tickets to the game back in June based on a noon start time. They where going to go to the game, and then come back and spend New Years Eve with friends and family.
Now the NFL moved the game until 7:00PM New Years Eve. Two of the people
I know that have tickets are being forced to sell them. They donÂ’t have anyone that can watch their kid while they go to the game. ItÂ’s New Years Eve, most people have plans and no one else wants to cancel their plans for them. Then the other two are thinking of selling theirs because they have younger children that they want to spend New Years Eve with.
Other people I know have to choose now between watching the game or doing their planned activities. Not all places have a TV where they can watch the game. Me, well I donÂ’t care what anyone else does, IÂ’m watching the game. As long as the people in the party donÂ’t block the TV, they can live with me watching the game while they do other things. IÂ’m more annoyed at the fact that I had planned on having some friends over to watch the game, and now they wont be coming because they have other plans. It irritates me that the NFL has sold out their fans that pay for tickets for corporate sponsors that want advertising. IÂ’m down right pissed off that they have no regard for people that pay good money to see the game.
I can honestly say that I wonÂ’t ever buy a ticket for a game during the flex weeks again. IÂ’d say that I would boycott football during the same time, but I know I wonÂ’t. Although my boycott of Monday Night Football has been pretty easy.
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Guinness Draught comes in a 14.9 fluid ounce Nitro Can! “Hear something? That’s the Guinness floating widget delivering you the great taste of Guinness Draught”. I don’t know if Guinness invented that little widget, and I know there are other beers out there that have it in them, but dang it. The damn thing is, well, Brilliant! The can is black, with the Guinness harp and the name of the beer on the front.
This is probably one of the best beers to pour into a glass. ItÂ’s a drink AND a show all together in one. The beer is a dark brown, so dark one probably could call it black and no one would question it. ItÂ’s so dark, light barely passes through it. The head is a thick and creamy tan color that pours thick and lasts long after the beer is gone. Right after the beer is poured the rising of the head and the flowing of the beer downward through it is mesmerizing. The head leaves a good lacing all over the glass.
When the scent of sweet malts, dark roasts and a tantalizing hint of coffee hits the nose, ones mouth will start to water in anticipation. The taste is a near perfect blend of barley malts, a touch of bitter hops and touch of oak. There is a mild aftertaste that has a slight nuttiness to it that is satisfying.
Surprisingly, and some of my readers may disagree, this is a medium bodied beer. There is a creamy mouth feel to it, but there is a slight wateriness to the texture. There is almost no carbonation to the beer, but it doesnÂ’t need it with the widget adding the nitro goodness to the beer.
This is one of my favorite beers. I truly enjoy drinking it. With itÂ’s lower then average alcohol by volume, one can drink this all day and not end up as impaired. I rate this beer a 7.5 out of 10.
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December 26, 2006
For Christmas Boopie received a soft air handgun, shotgun and M-16 (fully Automatic). I figured these would be good starter firearms to get him used to modern firearm safety. We even gave him an electronic target system so he could practice his aim. Thinking these couldnÂ’t be that dangerous, I didnÂ’t see how it would hurt anything. I mean cÂ’mon, they are spring-loaded firearms that shoot plastic BBs. WhatÂ’s the worst that could happen?
A series of BB sized bruises all over me is what could happen! And before you go yelling, “You shouldn’t be shooting each other with the guns”, we weren’t. I was catching ricochets off of the targeting system. Hell the shotgun is strong enough to have broken the plastic backing on the target box. I put up a backdrop to keep the little plastic BBs from going everywhere, but they would ricochet off of that. I was hit in the leg arm and shoulder. Those little buggers hurt. Hell, one stray shot may or may not have broken a window in a neighbor’s garage.
IÂ’m just glad I bought him protective eyewear. We donÂ’t want him to shoot his eye out.
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December 24, 2006
At this time I would like to wish everyone a safe, fun and Merry Christmas. May you have a wonderful day!
Since I didnÂ’t want you to feel left out after last year, your gifts are in the extended entry. It's not NSFW, but uh... you might not want to open at work. more...
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What do I have? Well my friends, tomorrow I will be watching Chewbacca returning home to celebrate “Life Day” with his son, wife and Father. That’s right, I have a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special, AKA “The Wookie Christmas” (Well at least according to the insert that came with it). I saw this when it first came out in 1978; I have not seen it since. I’m giddy with excitement over this; this could make this the best Christmas EVER! From everything I recollect it was horrible, but still it’s iconically hilarious by being so bad.
The only down side is that itÂ’s not mine. It was loaned to me by an acquaintance, and I have to return it Tuesday. Thus I donÂ’t have time to get a copy of it. Sigh.
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December 23, 2006
T1G and I drove up to meet Harvey and Richmond at a Hooters in Wisconsin. I hadnÂ’t seen Harvey since Wolf Fest, and Richmond since Fritzfest. It was nice to be able to talk with the both of them again. Richmond, due to parental responsibilities, was running late. T1G, Harvey and myself kept trying to tell the wait staff there was going to be a fourth person there, but we donÂ’t think they believed another person would want to be seen with us. Then of course they kept insinuating that that fourth person was a male. I guess they didnÂ’t believe a female would want anything to do with rabble like us.
While we were there Harvey labeled me an Alcowhoric Scrinch. It had something to do with my willingness to do just about anything for alcohol and the fact that I'm not into Christmas. I've got a bad feeling that label is going to stick around for a long time.
After Harvey and Richmond had to leave, T1G went over to his brother’s place o’ employment. People, T1G’s younger brother really looks nothing like T1G, based only on appearance you would never tell the two of them were related. However, they sound exactly alike. They have the same voice and speech patterns. If the two of them where having a conversation and you couldn’t see who was talking, you’d swear someone is talking to themselves. I’m willing to bet they have to announce who they are when they call their mother. “Hey Mom, it’s me, T1G.”
Afterwards we headed down to FritzÂ’s to drink there. T1G took some ribbing because heÂ’d been gone for so long that Fritz could no longer afford to send his daughter to college. It had something to do with profits dropping by about 50% since last June. Then I caught some flack for not going down there to pick up the slack of T1G leaving. I told Fritz and the regulars that I was instructed IÂ’m not allowed to go there while T1G is out of town, something about invading his turf. What was really cool was I hadnÂ’t been to FritzÂ’s in about 8 months and they all remembered who I was and my name.
It was a good time. It was nice to see T1G before he makes his permanent move to Florida.
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December 21, 2006
“The baby wasn’t in the casket. (The Mother) sat there holding the baby, rocking it back and forth. She would smile at him and talk to him as if he were alive at times.”
IÂ’ve never been to the funeral for an infant before. So IÂ’m not sure what the protocol is, but this whole macabre scene not only made me concerned for the motherÂ’s mental health, but also disturbed many of the visitors. Even a guy I know that is pretty stout willed found the scene kind of disturbing.
I didnÂ’t get to speak to anyone that was at the funeral before I left work today, but IÂ’m wondering if the mother made a scene at the internment. From what IÂ’ve heard and some other stuff I donÂ’t want to share due to the private nature of it, IÂ’m concerned she is going to need a lot of serious mental health counseling. IÂ’m not talking about seeing a guy two nights a week; IÂ’m talking inpatient in a ward.
I know the grieving is normal, but is the whole display with the baby usual?
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Then I get to work and I start the day off thinking that it’s Friday and I get to leave at 11:00 to meet up with some people. I’m rushing through my work to make sure everything is done, assigning projects for the days, sending out all of my “Friday” e-mails. To make matters worse, since I was sending out my “Friday” e-mails, my employees started thinking it was Friday. That was until one of my people responded to an e-mail, “Did I miss a day, or isn’t today Thursday?” After a quick check of the calendar and a very audible, “D’oh”, I quickly sent out all the updated e-mails. Of course by this time all of my employees where begging me to bend the space-time continuum and make it Friday.
Now, since I’ve lost a day, the whole day went by at a snails pace. I mean everything seemed to take forever, even lunch. I ran some errands on lunch, finished some shopping and bought lunch. I thought I was running late, that I had been gone for over an hour. When I got back to my desk, I had only been gone for 35 minutes. It was at this point I vocally asked, “Why? Why is this day going so slow?” Lo and behold an ethereal voice responded with, “Because you don’t want to be here, you should take the rest of the day off.” This suggestion sounded good until… “And give your employees the day off too.” Then I realized one of my people heard my plea and was hiding behind the wall talking to me.
Which is actually good, because I was starting to doubt my sanity. Either that or I had proof that god exists, is female, and IÂ’m surely in big trouble. Instead I decided this employee needed some additional work, and gave it to them. Never let a good joke go unpunished people, but only if you are the target of it. It makes them think twice about playing a prank on you again.
Finally the end of the day came along, and I head home. Thanks to the traffic the trip took FOR-EV-ER. I really hate the fact that the only way from work to my house either takes me past the Mall or down some of the busiest streets in the city. Finally I get home, and I thought IÂ’d make a quick dinner so I could get into some Glogg to make the memory of the day go away. Well I started cooking it about an hour ago, apparently I canÂ’t bend the space-time continuum to change what day of the week it is, but I can to make Korv cook and potatoes boil. Now if youÂ’ll excuse me, IÂ’m going to go see if I can make some beer disappear quickly.
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December 20, 2006
Really, the packaging is quite unassuming. IÂ’m poured mine from a green glass gallon jug. These look awfully familiar, like something IÂ’d see at a re-enactment. Most likely at one time it held homemade root beer. ThereÂ’s not even a label or instructions on it to tell you what the alcohol content is. Fortunately I know from experience you need to warm this. I also know to keep it away from a heat source. Which makes warming it very difficult.
When poured into a glass it has a cloudy maroon color to it, almost like cranberry juice. It has a cloudiness to it that is typical of any type of mulled spirit. Really, if you didnÂ’t know what you had in your hand, it might pass as some kind of warm Cran-apple cider.
How to explain the scent, letÂ’s start by my suggesting not to take a huge whiff off the bottle. After uncrossing my eyes I could smell a distinct mixture of raisons, apricots, prunes, cloves, cinnamon a hint of grape and a smidgeon of almonds. That was once I cut through the power of pure grain alcohol. Whew! The taste can best be described as happiness. ItÂ’s a fruity mixture with a hint of alcohol to it. Despite the scent, one really canÂ’t taste the alcohol. There is a tantalizing mixture of fruits and spices that really tingle the tongue. With about a 65-70 % alcohol by volume, itÂ’s surprising how one really canÂ’t taste it.
We have here a medium bodied drink. It took a couple of mugs to make sure that I had the right texture to it. As IÂ’m typing, my fingers are starting to go numb. Maybe I should have eaten first.
IÂ’m going to give Glogg a rating of 8 out of 10. Sure, maybe I made it thus I am biased toward it, but dammit! ItÂ’s my review and IÂ’ll give it what I want!
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December 19, 2006
The best part is that at night I don’t have to hear, “Not tonight, I’ve got a headache” or “You are NOT going to put that there!” I can tell she's really into it by the way she squirms! It’s not that I’m not listening to her, I really am. I just tell her to speak up loud and clear if she wants me to stop or help out with something. She’s been awfully quiet about it, so I’m in the clear.
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December 18, 2006
1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bags, I canÂ’t wrap a gift to save my life.
2.Real tree or artificial? Real, I like fire hazards. It makes life more interesting.
3.When do you put up the tree? After I buy it.
4.When do you take the tree down? When I get around to it. ( last year it was Superbowl weekend)
5.Do you like eggnog? Hell yea, especially when itÂ’s real eggnog with brandy.
6.Favorite gift you received as a child? My official red rider carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.
7.Do you have a nativity scene? Sure do, every time I tell the boys SantaÂ’s on the roof they run outside in all their naivety. Er, wait, that said nativity, nope.
8.Hardest person to buy for? The wife, she hates everything I get her. Especially the fish-net stockings and SantaÂ’s little ho outfit.
9.Easiest person to buy for? Clone. Every thing he sees he wants.
10.Mail or email Christmas cards? PfffttttÂ… thatÂ’s what the wife is for. she fills them out, addresses them and sticks them in the mail.
11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A home enema kit. God I wish I was joking about that.
12.Favorite Christmas move? A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart.
13.When do you start shopping? When ever the wife does it.
14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? UhÂ… no?
15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My wifeÂ’s cookies. Oh and the ones she bakes too.
16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? WhatÂ’s with the racial questions? They preferred to be called spectrally enhanced lights. Since IÂ’m a diverse and sensitive kind of guy, I do have spectrally enhanced lights on my tree.
17.Favorite Christmas song? What ever one I start humming in July to annoy people.
18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home, and if I had my choice thatÂ’s what IÂ’d do. But I have to travel all over Rockford visiting my family.
19.Can you name all of SantaÂ’s Reindeers? Yes I can, and I know them correctly as Dunder and Blixem not Donner and Blitzen.
20.Angel on the tree top or a star? We have a star now, Ktreva got upset the first year we were together by the way I kept jamming the angel on top of the tree over and over. She felt it was a littleÂ… disturbing and obscene.
21.Open the presents on Christmas ever or morning? Both. Extended family on Christmas Eve, from the immediate family Christmas morning.
22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? The people shopping. If only they would let me use a club when I go shopping.
23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? What are you trying to imply? IÂ’m telling you T1G and I are just friends; it's platonic. There's no man love there, I don't care what he implies!
24.What would you like for Christmas? My wife wearing last years Christmas giftÂ…. With those black leather knee high heeled bootsÂ… and telling me sheÂ’ll do what ever I want. Which will start with her unzippingÂ…. You probably donÂ’t want to know the rest.
ThatÂ’s it. According to the instructions IÂ’m supposed to tag five people with this. Since I havenÂ’t been tagged with a meme in a long, long time, (since April) I really donÂ’t owe anyone, so I guess IÂ’m going to be opening the doors of payback here.
So here we go:
A) Blog momma-sis Boudicca of BoudiccaÂ’s Voice. Just for neglecting me.
2) T1G of Drunken Wisdom, I guess I have to give him a chance to redeem himself.
D) Richmond of One for the Road. Just because I havenÂ’t linked to her in a while.
4) Michelle of Quality Weenie, Because she’s beating me in Pick ‘Ems.
E) Tammi of Tammi’s World. Since she’s been stuck up and blowing me off in Pick ‘Ems.
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December 17, 2006
Me? Nope, I made it in a fashion that only someone with my resources can. (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) Graumagus will be happy to know that my garage wasnÂ’t involved at all; it was all made in my kitchen. I started making it yesterday morning and finished bottling it around 5:00 PM last night. In the planning stages I figured on making at least a gallon of glogg. Somehow I went from making a gallon, to making almost two gallons of this winter delight. Of course I ended up drinking a quart of it last night. Quality control and all, I canÂ’t just go giving this to people if it tastes bad. If you havenÂ’t figured out, mine didnÂ’t taste bad.
Oh and is this stuff strong. I set a match to it to burn off any excess fumes. It went up in the biggest ball of blue flame I’ve seen. Ktreva and Clone heard the whoomp when it lit all the way in the living room. So as to not burn off all the alcohol, I quickly put the lid back on the pot to extinguish the flames. Clone wanted me to do it again, Ktreva was just upset I didn’t tell her I was doing it so she could see me do the, “I set my sleeve on fire dance”. I didn’t really set my sleeve on fire, but it did get singed a little.
Now I know some of you may want the recipe or have one. What IÂ’ve learned over the years is that there really is no recipe. Sure you can find one, I know because I have at least 20 different ones. And thatÂ’s the thing. Glogg is made to taste by the person making it. Each persons taste is different then the next. There really is no standard recipe. Heck you can even go to stores and by pre-packaged spices to add to other alcohol to make glogg. There is even a liquid extract you can add to other alcohol to get a glogg flavor. Me personally, I made mine from scratch. I figure if IÂ’m going to make glogg, IÂ’m going to MAKE glogg. If you have a recipe, and you follow it to the letter, look at other recipes. See what they do, you might want to add a little something to yours. Experiment a little. You may be pleasantly surprised.
So IÂ’m not sharing my recipe at this time. I think this is one that IÂ’m going to keep in the family.
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IsnÂ’t that just the most lovely rendition of Holy Night?
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December 16, 2006
I also had the Video album of all their songs. Yes, that was past tense as well. This was the best song on that album.
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If I only had a room big enough for something like this.
UPDATE: The table is made by DB Fletcher Furniture Design.
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