November 07, 2005
Guys, how many times have we heard a woman say she doesn’t like it when a guy is looking at their chest or behind? It seems to be a common complaint, and I agree that when talking to a woman one should look her in the eye. Some women don’t like to be “checked out” at all. They get upset if they find some guy giving them the once over.
Fine, that is their right. IÂ’m not going to tell you not to wear clothing that compliments the shape of your body. It doesnÂ’t matter because people will look anyway even if you wear a baggy t-shirt and frumpy sweat pants. Women are catty and guys just check everything out. Guys, you can deny it, but you know itÂ’s true.
Just donÂ’t wear something that forces the human eye to look at your chest or backside.If IÂ’m not talking about figure enhancing cloths, then what am I talking about? Simple, shirts and pants with words on it. Over the last 6 months, IÂ’ve noticed the trend of females wearing shirts that have phrases or logos right across their chest. They also wear pants that have logos right across their butts (usually sweat pants/shorts). If you donÂ’t want people looking at your chest or ass, donÂ’t wear items like that.
The human eye naturally is drawn to lettering to read it. ItÂ’s like a sign. I know personally IÂ’ll see someone with a t-shirt that has writing on it, and with out thinking, I just start reading what it says. This gives the appearance that I am staring at their chest. No, IÂ’m reading their shirt. When walking through the mall I see a girl wearing shorts that says something written across their butt. Before I can even think about it, IÂ’ve read what was written, and to be honest in some cases I wish I hadnÂ’t.
Not just guys do this either, women read what is front of them as well. Just the other morning I was at a restaurant with my wife. A girl came in wearing a white sweat suit. (BTW, what ever happened to proper dress when leaving the house? A sweat suit is not appropriate to go to a sit down restaurant.). After she walks by Ktreva says to me, “One should not wear turquoise underwear with a white pants.” I had no idea what she was talking about, so I reply with a “huh?” She tells me that the girl that walked by is wearing turquoise underwear under her white sweat suit.
Now here I am thinking my wife is displaying some lesbian traits and is checking out girls as they walk by. Fantasy time! Smirking, I ask her how she knows. She responds that as the girl walked by she looked up and she had “Abercrombie” across her butt, when she read it she could see the underwear. Fantasy denied! But it enforced the fact that if there is writing, humans will read it.
The manufacturers of these clothes know and understand that. They put the lettering and logos in those places for a reason, to help draw the eye there. This is fine if you accept and don’t mind people staring at our chest or bottom. If you mind, don’t wear clothes that have it. If you do mind and wear clothes like that, don’t get mad at me if I “read” what you are advertising. In addition, don’t wear the shirt that says, “Don’t look at my chest”, by the time everyone is done reading it, it’s too late.
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1) An 83 Pontiac Phoenix, AKA The Phoeni AKA Death Trap. This was the first vehicle I owned for more then 7 days. (I had a cheap Buick I was given that had an 8 cylinder engine, but I swear only 3 worked) I owned this vehicle from September of 89 through December of 94. I put over 100,000 miles on it in that time. When I was in high school, my friends and I would hop in it and drive everywhere. It went all over Illinois and Wisconsin. It also once made a trip to Washington DC. It had its issues, hell I could dedicate a blog to stories involving this car. It was this vehicle that convinced me that Pontiac is French for “That damn ticking noise”. For some reason the vehicle always made a ticking noise… even when it wasn’t running. Every other Pontiac I’ve been around does something very similar.
One time I was driving it down a busy four-lane street when I see a tire rolling along side the road, part of the wheel assembly and all. Right as I thought to myself, “Where did that come from?” The Phoenix tips forward and I start a spin. Jumping the median, I miss an oncoming Semi by inches. After pealing my fingers off the steering wheel, I realize that was my wheel, part of axel and all. I took it to the local dealership because the service manager is a friend of my fathers. They have a mechanic fix it. When I go to pick it up the guy asks me how much I’m going to be asking for it. I had no plans on selling it; I couldn’t afford another car. When I told him that the mechanic looks at me and incredulously says, “You’re going to drive this thing?!?!?! It’s a death trap!” Hence the nick name. BTW, this happened in 1991.
Other mechanical anomalies with her include a Teflon steering gear was worn down and sometimes you could turn the wheel and the vehicle would not turn. When you straightened the wheel sometimes, it would catch and then the vehicle would turn. (This is real fun when it happens on a curvy road alongside a river such as Illinois 2) At the end of its life, it ran better with NO coolant or oil in it. If you put some in, it would sputter, loose power or stall out until it burned it all off. If youÂ’ve seen the movie Uncle Buck, his car had nothing on the smoke the Phoeni would produce when it was burning off oil/coolant.
It was dubbed the Phoeni by a friend of mine one year when he noticed that while backing into the garage I had scraped the car on the garage door breaking off the X on Phoenix. That left the marking as “Phoeni”.
I finally got rid of the vehicle when it committed suicide. On the way to an interview, it had finally decided it had led enough of a life and threw its timing chain onto the road. It was now more expensive to repair the vehicle then to replace it.
2) 1983 Ford Fairmont. This vehicle was the only one I could afford. I owned it from June of 95 until December of 96. This was the first Ford I owned and I hated it. It was a POS. The Heating/Cooling system had three settings; Off, Deep Freeze and Blast Furnace. When the AC was on, unless you kept your foot on the gas, if the vehicle was stopped it would stall out. I was watching Boopie for my wife (before we were married), and I took him through a car wash. It was the summer and very hot. While in the car wash, I turned on the AC so we wouldnÂ’t bake. At one point, I turned to check on Boopie in the back seat. He was sitting there, teeth chattering and blue lipped fascinated by the car wash. The AC was set on low.
One time Grau and I went to Menards to buy something for a project we were working on at his place. As we were driving back, the Check Engine light came on. We were out in the country and there was a gas station a couple of miles up the road. I was wondering if we could make it to the gas station, when I started to ask Grau “Do you think we could….” (BOOM!) The engine explodes… well not really, a hose on it exploded. Between the light going on until explosion, the amount of time to say, “Do you think we could…” The thermostat on it was stuck open causing the engine to over heat (There where no temp gages, just dummy lights). The pressure built so much that by the time the light came on, it caused the hose to explode.
This vehicle also committed suicide on me on the way to work in December. Again, the thermostat stuck open and caused the engine to overheat. This time however, there was no dummy light to come on, the engine just seized. There I was in the middle of nowhere. Fortunately, a coworker came by and gave me a ride to and from work. The vehicle was beyond repair.
3) 1996 Ford Ranger (December 96 until April 2005) AKA Lucille. I loved this little truck. It was my first Brand New vehicle. If I were going to buy another compact truck, I would get a Ranger. In the 9 years I owned her, I never had a mechanical problem with it.
4) 1995 Ford Contour SE (April 99 to August 2003, WifeÂ’s car). This is the last Ford car I will own. Ford engineering on their cars suck and this one was supposed to be one of there best ones. On our vacation from hell, this car broke down in Merrillville, Indiana. Apparently, Ford thought a plastic fan on the water pump was a good idea. I however disagree, because when the fan breaks sending plastic chunks through the engine costing me a lot of trouble and money to get fixed, plus a stay in the ever so lovely (note sarcasm) Merrillville.
5) 1998 Chevy Venture (August 2003 to present, WifeÂ’s Vehicle). This is a rugged minivan. My wife walked away from a head on collision with out a mark on her. WeÂ’ve had no complaints about the van itselfÂ… just the dealership that canÂ’t seem to fix it properly after the accident.
6) 2005 Chevy Silverado 2500HD 4X4 (April 2005 to present) AKA Janine. Even though my Ranger was in perfect working order, I needed a second vehicle that could carry the kids. With re-enacting, I also needed a bigger vehicle to carry the equipment. This truck fits both bills. I have the club cab so the kids can ride, as well as the extended bed for extra cargo space. I love this truck. At this point, IÂ’ve had no problems with her and sheÂ’s worked better then I anticipated for our needs.
That is it, every vehicle IÂ’ve owned.
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November 05, 2005
Over at College Humor they have a breakdown of the different kind of smokers. Now this is far from being a complete list, but for the four categories they have, itÂ’s pretty close to accurate. I know myself I have bounced back and forth between the Conditional Smoker and the Unconditional SmokerÂ… Except I buy my own packs of cigarettesÂ… now. Currently IÂ’m a slightly more involved Unconditional SmokerÂ… A pack will last me 3-4 days. Unless IÂ’m drinking, then a pack might last 6 hours.
IÂ’ve been known to go weeks with out smoking, only to bum one off of a friend or to buy a pack because I know IÂ’m going to end up smoking and donÂ’t want to be a mooch.
Some of you are probably thinking, “He should just quit.” All I have to say to that is: No one likes a quitter!
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November 04, 2005
Excuse me while I go scrub my brain with a Brillo pad.
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According to this source, Carroll has an inflated ego with a matching attitude. He doesnÂ’t see anything wrong with his play and continually blames his mistakes on others. IE The refs made a bad call, the Receiver pushed off; He lost the ball in the sun, etc. Allegedly, he takes no personal responsibility for when something goes wrong with his play; itÂ’s never his fault.
This has made him very unpopular on the team by not just the other players, but the coaches and staff.
This makes me wonder then why we cut Joey Thomas (another CB drafted the same year as Carroll). If there was a problem with his play, why not try to trade him a few weeks ago before the trading deadline expired? Maybe we could have gotten something for him. He was a number 3 draft pick, hell even if we received a sixth round it would have been better then the nothing we got for releasing him.
If what is being said on the radio were true about Carroll, why would we not want to keep Thomas and start developing him more? He obviously doesnÂ’t commit the penalties Carroll does, even if he isnÂ’t quite as goodÂ… at this time.
Time will tell as he was picked up by New Orleans on waivers.
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What is home rule? Home rule can be best defined as placing at the local level the power to tax and to regulate with broad discretion any function pertaining to government and local affairs. Some of the items that local governments may regulate under home rule are: cigarette taxes, taxes on retail sales of new motor vehicles, parking taxes, reductions in mandatory fire and police retirement age, land dedications for schools and parks, zoning landfill sites, mobile home parks, low-income housing developments, and self-service gas. They also have the power to regulate health ordinances that conflict with Environmental Protection Agency regulations, noise regulations, branch banking regulations, and the disposition of unclaimed property, the reduction of officialsÂ’ salaries or discrimination based on personal appearance. In some of these areas, the state legislature may be able to delegate its power to local government, but without state action, home rule units cannot regulate in these areas.
They do not have the power to regulate, for public policy reasons, matters involving divorce and family law and real property. Trusts and contracts must be regulated by the state and cannot vary from one municipality to the next. That still gives a lot of power to local governments.
In this article about it in our local rag (ItÂ’s about as newsworthy as a high school newspaper); they list an example of one of the abuses of Home Rule in the Daley empire city of Chicago.
“Chicago in March 2003 when city construction crews, under the cover of darkness, tore up the runway at Meigs Field, effectively closing the lakefront airport. Who gave the crews the right to do so? Not the voting public. Not the Federal Aviation Administration. Certainly not the hundreds of pilots who flew in and out of the airport. The airport was closed for good on orders from Mayor Richard Daley.”
I remember when this happened. At a minute after midnight when the lease was up, Daley sent the bulldozers in and trashed the runway beyond repair. My corporate HQ is in Chicago and I know many a person that used that airport, to say they where unhappy about the situation is an understatement.
I don’t want to see something like this happening in Rockford. First, the city itself rarely if ever votes down a tax. Give the city the opportunity to raise taxes above the max that state law allows and I could see the vast idiots here actually voting into place a 25% tax increase to fix the roads. Then with all the eminent domain baloney going through the courts, I could see city planners use home rule to snag private property for some stupid “tourist” attraction that would be poorly located. Using the same logic, I can see them snagging peoples houses to make roads so it is more accessible.
At this time, IÂ’m going to have to say I donÂ’t want my local leaders to have that much power. I see the abuses in Chicago and some of the other surrounding communities and I donÂ’t like it. Why would I want to subject myself to the same?
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“Cargo cults believe that western goods or cargo, first encountered through missionaries and explorers, are created by ancestral spirits. They have been known to build airstrips in the jungles in the belief that planes would land with cargo.”
Huh? Let me get this straight. The belief is that ancestral sprits poof into existence various items made the west (America, Europe, Mexico and to be honest China), put them on airplanes and deliver them to these people. Well once I put it like that, it sounds like BS that no one in a right frame of mind could believe. Maybe itÂ’s more like the ancestral spirits were responsible for western culture to invent, produce and ship the items to them. That sounds more plausible, yet still hokey.
Now for their belief is that if they spend hours building airstrips, their ancestral spirits would have planes land with all the goodies they want. How are the planes going to know where to land? Why would some manufacturer or distributor ship anything to Bumblehead Island in the South Pacific? Has this ever worked?
Because if this actually works IÂ’m starting an Alcohol cult here in the Americas. We are going to clear out cornfields to make landing strips so that my ancestral spirits will deliver planes full of good Scotch whisky and beer from the UK. (Hey, I like Guinness, MurphyÂ’s, McEwenÂ’s, etc.). This at least makes more senseÂ… well to me. My Ancestral Spirits will be delivering my ancestral spirits (As in booze). IÂ’m of Scottish decent. Looking at my family history, they would all want me to have the best liquor. I mean we are talking about a family that has traditions steeped in drinking, well on one side of the family.
The problem of recruiting members wouldnÂ’t be that difficult, if it works. I think I might be able to find a recruit or two.
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 | You scored as Capt. Mal Reynolds. The Captain. You are the captain of the ship, so the crew are your responsibility. You just want to do the job, get paid and keep flying. Why is that always so hard?
Which Serenity character are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
I found this over at Refractional Darkness, being a Firefly/Serenity fan I had to take it. Since I always tend to come out the worst possible result in these quizes, I'm kind of surprised that I turned out to be Mal, not that I'm complaining. I just figured I would have been Jayne.
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November 03, 2005
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Remember ladies we are always looking for new Mortar Maidens every month.
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I just want to know, does that mean its okay to refer to a white democrat/liberal as a cracker?
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The only thing that makes it worse is when “friends” talk about other “friends” behind their backs. Is that person really your friend if you are talking about them behind their back? What if it was your friend talking about you? Those people really, truly are not your friend.
How about if you are sitting in a room and other people are talking about a mutual friend, do you join in or not? Do you tell the person what was said or do you try to forget about it? Usually, I sit there and try not to say anything or just try to ignore the conversation. (TV comes in handy at these points) After the conversation, the next time I see my friend I don’t tell them what was said. Why? Because it can be hurtful. At this point in time, I’m thinking of changing my policy. I’m thinking that as a friend I should tell that person that someone is gossiping about them. Currently I believe the person should know what kind of “friends” they have.
I’m sure most of you have figured out what the origin of this post is. You would be correct; I found out that some “friends” have been talking about me behind my back. Right now, I don’t have all the details, but enough to know that it isn’t pleasant. Now I’m torn. I’ve known these people for quite a few years and counted them as some very close friends. What they are talking about is just absolutely asinine, and in one case an incorrect interpretation of events. I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to do about it, but I have some ideas.
The one IÂ’m leaning toward is just to sever the friendships and go on with life. ItÂ’ll suck loosing some friends, but I can make more. Technically, I think IÂ’m over my quota of the amount of friends I can socialize with anywayÂ… IÂ’m shy and not much of a people person anyway. 
Part of me doesnÂ’t want to loose these friendships, but another part says this has been going on for a while and itÂ’s not going to stop. After everything, can it ever truly be repaired, will I ever trust these people again? Many of the people IÂ’m talking about read this blog both regularly and intermediately. If this post hits a little close to home, then it probably applies to you. The next time I see you after I decided what I'm going to do, IÂ’ll return the knife that is sticking in my back.
All I can think of right now is one of my favorite toasts: HereÂ’s to you, hereÂ’s to me. Friends forever we shall be. But if once we disagree, Fuck you and hereÂ’s to me.
But IÂ’m curious, if you where in my shoes, what would you do? IÂ’m not saying IÂ’ll follow your advice, but IÂ’m curious to see if maybe IÂ’m over reacting.
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Why do people that claim to be using their freedom of speech get so bloody upset when you voice a dissenting opinion and claim censorship? The best example I can give that most people will remember is when the Dixie Chics made their comments about G. W. Bush about 4 years ago. They spoke their oppinions; they had every right to do so. I donÂ’t agree with what they did/said but it is their constitutional right to do so. Where they pissed me off was when their fans and radio stations disagreed with what they said and spoke out against them.
When the public voiced their dissention of what the Dixie Chics had said, these “freedom of speech” fighters claimed that people where trying to censor them. BULLSHITE! Those people were exercising their freedom of speech to say they disagree or to tell the Dixie Chics they where wrong. Why is it when they said something against what the President was doing it was freedom of speech, but when their fans said something against what they did it was censorship? Isn’t that a huge double standard? I believe it is. If burning the American flag is covered by the first amendment as freedom of expression, then bulldozing thousands of the Dixie Chic’s CD’s is also a freedom of expression covered by the first amendment. This however is old news.
There have been a couple of incidents in the last month that really set my blood boiling. I feel people have the right to preach/evangelicalize/”spread the word” about their religion. This is part of freedom of speech. But when you start preaching at me and I tell you I’m not interested, and then you persist to preach at me; you are starting to cross freedom of speech into harassment. When I tell you to get off my property and not come back because I think your religion is nothing more then a glorified cult, that is NOT censorship. Just like you have the right to tell me that I’m going to hell if I don’t follow Jehovah, I have the same right to tell you that you’re a nut job and to get off of my property. It’s all covered under freedom of speech.
People that have political beliefs have the right to stand out in front of stores to promote their beliefs and hand out fliers. (If the store approves, it is private property) The other day walking into a local store some hippy love child… well I don’t know he was a love child, but he looked (i.e. smelled) like a neo hippy. He was handing out fliers trying to get people to join an anti-Bush protest rally in Rockford, IL. He was also trying to promote some local vast left wing conspiracy newspaper. (To be honest, I always thought it was the right wing that are the conspiracy theorists. j/k) He had the right to stand in front of the store smelling like patchouli and body odor to spread his message. I had the right to tell him I’m not interested and walk right past him with out hearing another word. Freedom of speech/expression does not necessarily mean words have to be involved. By my ignoring his presence, I “spoke” volumes. This is not censorship. Freedom of speech does not give you the right to sit there and hammer me with a barrage of words in which I don't want to hear. Freedom of speech gives you the right to talk to an audience, it does not mandate that the audience has to stick around and listen to the message.
There is a Green Bay Packer flag hanging off my truck antenna. It is my freedom of speech to support my team proudly. Living in Illinois, this does come with some ribbing. Freedom of speech gives the local Bear fans the right to do so. See, that is how it works. I’m promoting my team, which is my freedom of speech. A Bear fan gives me a hard time for living in Illinois and not supporting the Bears, that is his freedom of speech. Now when the militant Bear fan tells me I should take that flag down because “the Packers suck” and I remind him the Bears haven’t exactly been a stellar team over the last two decades, I’m still using my freedom of speech.
To be honest this cretin didnÂ’t say I was trying to censor him, but he did verbalize a hostile retort about doing something unpleasant with that flag and my lower digestive tract. But, it helps to explain my point. Now we had a whole freedom of speech back and forth there, until he threatened physical harmÂ… or I guess in Illinois that would be considered Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault. Then you get into other legal issues that have nothing to do with freedom of speech.
My whole point to this convoluted post is that if you are going to exercise your freedom of speech, donÂ’t be surprised if someone else exercises their freedom of speech with an opposing response. That is their right. They are NOT trying to censor you.
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November 02, 2005
I have three styles of scaring people that I prefer. The style I use most is what I call the “Creep and Leap”. This is when your “victim” knows you are there and can see you. Some people sit in chairs and pretend they are a scarecrow; I walk around trying to intimidate the mark first. You are “creeping” through the area and making them nervous. It’s easiest to read your mark using this method to see if you are getting to them at all. Once you feel the timing is right, you make your move or “Leap” at them. Some sudden movement and sound is usually enough to get them to jump, scream or both. This method tends to work best on the timid and females. Guys tend just to buck up and save face.
The next method is what I call the “Lurk and Lunge”. This is similar to the above creep and leap, except that you remain hidden (Inside a coffin, behind a door, etc), out of site so your mark has no idea that you are there. I lurk in the shadows or behind large objects like bushes and vehicles. When the person least expects it you lunge at them screaming like a madman. You can get a good scare using this tactic. The problem is that it’s hard to hand out candy AND do this.
The last method I use, which to me is the most difficult to get right, is the “Stalk and shock”. This is where after the person has turned their back on you, you just follow them, many times, they will be involved with talking to their friends or looking at what goody they were given. Then when they either turn around or you finally make a noise you can get them to jump right out of their skin. This works best if they are walking away from your house and feel “safe” from you. That is when you get the best reaction.
Now the incident at hand happened 2-3 years ago, so some of the details may be a little off.
For years, IÂ’ve decorated my front yard as a cemetery with realistic looking tombstones, fog machines, a life size realistic skeleton hanging from a poleaxe, a realistic zombie, severed heads, arms, hands, fog machines. I have a free flowing ghost that glows and moves about in my upstairs window, death on the back porch moving in a strobe light, various skulls, rats, bats, spiders, etc. I dress up as a demon lord of the Abyss, complete with a sub-professional form-fitting mask, demon hands that elongate my fingers and shoe covers that make my feat look skeletal. Every year I receive many compliments from people on how the house and I look. If I had, any pictures turn out this year IÂ’ll post some when I get them.
I roam around the graveyard, run the fog machine, hang out on our large front porch, hand out candy and scare the bejeebus out of people that are over the age of 10. I absolutely refuse intentionally to scare little kids; IÂ’ll take my mask off if they do get scared.
When I’m creeping about, I always look at people’s reactions to things to see if I can get a good scare out of them. Their screams in the night is like crack to an addict. I had just finished handing out candy to some kids when I see a group of four high schoolers coming towards my house, two boys and two girls. I figured the girls would be easy marks, as generally females scare easier… but scaring a guy is much more satisfying. It was too late for me to try to hide, so I pumped up the fog machine and engulfed the yard/porch in fog. As they came up the porch the girls were acting timid, but the boys were being were being “tough” and protecting the girls.
EhÂ… Fine. There is the next group. After I gave them their candy, (I give candy to anyone that shows up at my door in costume, I donÂ’t care if they are in their 50Â’s. If you took the time to put on a costume, then IÂ’ll give you candy. No costume, no candy.) I looked and saw no other groups where heading my way.
What the hell, the worst that will happen is I don’t get any reaction and waste my time. As the group left, girls side by side followed by guys side by side, I silently followed them down off my porch with my Trident (Plastic tip on a hoe handle to make it life size) and a severed arm. I’m quietly stalking behind the boys down my sidewalk to the street. I hear one boy say to the other how lame my display was. At that point, I’m half a step behind them.I thrust my trident with the severed arm impaled on it right between the boys into the middle of the group. In a raspy voice I loudly hissed, “This is what happened to the last person that ridiculed my domain”.
All four jumped and screamed. However, the boy that called the display lame must have had to go to the bathroom a while as a wet spot quickly formed in his groin region. SCORE!!!!! Not only did I get a four for one, but also I actually made a guy piss himself. I pointed towards his crotch and said, “Sorry about that” as I walked back to the porch to get ready for the next kids. I could hear the other guy and the girls make fun of him and rightly so. Being scared is one thing… pissing yourself is another.
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Halloween really did not start getting the popularity it has now in America until the 50’s. Now the kids that really first started enjoying it are grandparents; adults like myself, are second-generation Halloween celebrants. When we were growing up it was told to us, “You can pretend to be anything you want on Halloween”. When we were kids, we could be Fireman, Indians, policemen, monsters, soldiers, knights, Ghostbusters, etc. What ever our imagination wanted and no one cared because it was make believe. It was pretend. My extremely religious parents were not bothered that I dressed up as demons and the devil for one day a year, because it was make believe. I was not really a demon or the devil.
As we got older, those of us that really embraced Halloween (ItÂ’s my favorite holiday) kept up the spirit of make believe. Some of us use it as an excuse to dress up as something we arenÂ’t, but want to pretend we are. IÂ’m not really a demon lord of they Abyss (Contrary to what my minions might say), but I dress up as one every year for Halloween. It fulfills a part of my psyche that wants to be a scary and powerful supernatural being that strikes fear into the hearts of humans.
In real life, I would never actually impale someone, disembowel them, dismember them or sever their heads. On Halloween night, my yard looks exactly like that is what I have been doing. I enjoy pretending to be the bad guy and scaring older kids and adults. Unlike when I scare them unintentionally through my daily actions, this is more satisfying.
Talking with many females and with my own wife, I’ve concluded that females that dress up in the sexy outfits do it for a similar reason. They like being attractive, having men look at them, maybe even be a little bit trashy. HOWEVER, that is not who they are. One night a week they can dress up very provocatively and pretend to be more sexually aggressive then they really are, and not worry about someone thinking they are a slut. They can let out their inner “Naughty Girl” and no one thinks twice about it because it is Halloween. Very few will hold it against them once Halloween is over.
IÂ’ll admit my theory may be wrong, but with the 50+ females, IÂ’ve talked to about it; IÂ’ve received very similar answers.
Now on a separate, yet related note; While handing out candy on Halloween there were girls in middle school (they had the local middle school coats with them) wearing the sexy nurse, French maid, waitress, cop outfits. What parent in their right mind would let their age 14 or lower daughter leave the house dressed like that? Sure, itÂ’s make believe (see above) but this is just wrong, even if the costumes didnÂ’t look good on them because they didnÂ’t have the figure for it. There are some creepy people in the world.
I also had High School girls (again local HS jackets/bags) wearing the same style outfits come by. Being older, I didnÂ’t have a problem with it, at their age (16+) they are responsible for their own actions. However, these girls also didnÂ’t look good in the costumes because they didnÂ’t have the figures for them. The cut of the costume is meant for women, not girls. You have to have hips and at least some breasts for these costumes even to begin looking sexy. Most of these girls had very similar figures to my 12-year-old son. (IE, No curves) They thought they looked hot, maybe itÂ’s because I like women and not girls, but I thought they looked funnyÂ… in the clown sort of way.
There was also one woman that came to my house wearing a “sexy” witch costume. I applaud large women that have a healthy self-esteem and can wear sexy outfits and not be ashamed. HOWEVER, if the outfit is so small that you look like an overstuffed bratwurst exploding at the ends, find something new. This lady was between 5’2 and 5’4, probably about 350 pounds. I’m not kidding; I may even be being “nice” on the weight estimate. You could see where the costume had burst in multiple spots and she had safety pinned it back together. The safety pins looked like they were on the verge of exploding off the costume. I was actually in fear for the safety of the children with this woman when those pins finally gave way.
Some of you may think IÂ’m being cruel or insensitive. IÂ’m fat man myself. The number of times I did not buy clothing or costuming because it was too small or too tight has been lost to the ages. IÂ’m not embarrassed about my body. ItÂ’s not that. Clothing that tight just looks bad. If IÂ’m wearing a button down shirt and it, looks like the buttons are about to come flying off at lethal speeds, that just looks tacky. ItÂ’s the same principle here. If the costume ripped putting it on and you have to strain safety pins to hold it togetherÂ… you should NOT wear that costume.
In closing, remember: Adults in costumes are acting out some inner desire/fantasy to be something they are not or canÂ’t be every day. If you buy a costume and it fits poorly (too loose or too tight), you probably donÂ’t look good in it.
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November 01, 2005
WhatÂ’s the first Halloween Costume you remember wearing?
I was a fireman, it was a cheap costume, but I was like two or three.
What was your favorite treat in your goodie bag?
I always loved Kit Kats and Peanut Butter Cups.
WhatÂ’s your best Halloween Memory?
Running through the neighborhood when I was kid to see how much candy I could get. One year I filled a pillowcase to near over flowing.
WhatÂ’s your worst?
One year it rained so hard that none of the parents in my neighborhood would let kids go trick or treating. So I stayed home watching TV with my friends.
Have you ever bobbed for apples?
Yes, and anything else I say about this IÂ’m sure someone will turn into something sexual and wrong.
Have you ever been to a grown up Halloween Party?
Sure have, itÂ’s more fun as an adult.
If you were going to such a party, and money was no question, what would your ideal costume be?
I so would have Tom Savini come and do my make up as a zombie from Land of the Dead.
Ever been to sea, Billy? Oops, wrong quiz!
IÂ’m not BillyÂ… but no.
Ever had a paranormal experience? If yes, tell us all about it.
Yes, Yes I have. Multiple ones, but that is a post for another time, if ever.
WhatÂ’s your favorite Scary Movie?
So hard to answer, the movies that scare me aren’t considered “scary movies”. So my favorite horror movie is Night of the Living Dead.
Have you ever played a Halloween “trick” on anyone?
Multiple times, the best was a couple of years ago when I made a high school kid piss himself.
Did you carve a pumpkin this year?
I helped Clone carve his.
Do you think we had more fun at Halloween then kids do today?
Definitely, the kids today have too many restrictions. Also not as many houses hand out candy/decorate as they did when I was a kid.
What candy are you giving out tonight?
Are you ready? Here we go: Snickers, Kit Kats, ReeseÂ’s, Butter Fingers, M&Ms, Crunch w/Caramel, Mr. Goodbars and Baby Ruths.
Will you be in costume?
HELL YEA! I’ve got a sub professional grade mask of a demon, along with the gloves/hands and feet covers, flowing black robes, “satanic” medallions and a skull trident that is mounted on a hoe handle. Did I mention I like to scare people? Now I have a rule, if they look like they are under 10, I will NOT scare them. In fact, I take my mask off if they do get scared.
Decorated at all?
Are you ready? One free flowing ghost in the upper window, death moving around the back porch, hologram in the front window, cemetery in the front yard. Life sized realistic looking mummy, talking skulls, another animatronics ghost on the front porch, fog machine, realistic skeleton hanging from a real pole arm. Giant spider web across front of house. Multiple skulls, lights, bats and severed body parts strewn all over the front porch yard. A zombie rising from the groundÂ… and normally an animatronics tree, but they where calling for rain and I didnÂ’t put it out.
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