Miasmatic Review

June 10, 2006

What? No Ernst goes to Camp?

IÂ’ve always been a movie lover. ItÂ’s the one thing I miss with having kids, I just donÂ’t get a chance to go see movies anymore. What I do still have time for is looking at movie posters. IÂ’ve always enjoyed a good movie poster. One that gives you an idea what the movie is about and makes you want to drop your hard earned cash , I think the price of movies is up to $10.00 a ticket, not counting the $15.00 small pop and $12.00 small popcorn.

The independent critics have listed what they consider The 100 Greatest Movie Posters of All Time. Some of their selections surprised me, others didnÂ’t surprise me at all. Like the Titanic Poster, stupid poster for a stupid movie, yet because it did so well and every critic on the face of the earth couldnÂ’t send out rave reviews fast enough, it doesnÂ’t surprise me.

This poster surprised me.

This movie was made in 1971, and I only know that because I wasted the time to look it up. IÂ’ve never heard of this movie, in fact it looks like pr0n. Hell the tag line is, Â“WHITE MAN...BLACK MAN...every MAN! To TAKE to BREAK or PLAY WITH any way she wished!Â” Eh, who am I to criticize? IÂ’m still a fan of Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.

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Smokin'!

I know itÂ’s not officially summer yet, but as far as IÂ’m concerned, itÂ’s here. Summer means grilling and EVERYONE should have at least one grill. One charcoal for flavor, and one Propane for efficiency. Or if you are lucky like I am, a hybrid grill that is both Gas and Charcoal. Charbroil made these hybrids a couple of years ago; as soon as it hit the market I jumped on one. I love the thing. IÂ’ve read reviews from others that say they didnÂ’t like them. To me itÂ’s perfect I get the best of both the charcoal and the gas.

But IÂ’m getting off point. Everyone should own a grill, and with fatherÂ’s day around the corner you might want to look into either getting dear olÂ’ dad a grill or maybe replacing his old one. Either way, here are some grills you might want to look into.

I wonder how much trouble IÂ’d be in if I came home towing this baby.

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May 13, 2006

I like my Blondes with a side of red head.

Guys, weÂ’ve all been there. YouÂ’re out on the town, you stop in to get something to eat and there getting ready to bring you the golden nectar of the gods is a ~~serving wench~~ waitress that is fit to bring mead to Odin himself. The Smoking hot waitress that makes each beer taste better then the last. The one that as soon as the leaves the table you and the rest of the guys make a mental check list of all the things youÂ’d like to do to her, or more importantly have her do to you.

The other morning, the jocks on a local radio station where talking about a website the chronicles these beautiful young lasses, Smoking Hot Waitress.

Smoking Hot Waitresses

Now you can plan your nights out on the town around which bars or restaurants will have the best looking waitresses.

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May 06, 2006

What a shotgun!

Since IÂ’ve neglected my normal Saturday waste of time, I thought IÂ’d get this one going right. First lets start with what possible has to be the coolest shotgun IÂ’ve ever seen. A friend of mine sent me this video clip for the Beretta Extrema2 shotgun.

Click to watch Video

First let me say, the guy in the video is one hell of a shot. Secondly, if the shotgun works even remotely close to the way itÂ’s shown in this video IÂ’m impressed. The asking price for this firearm is $1,098 to $1,598. I wonder how much trouble IÂ’d get in if I ordered one today?

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March 11, 2006

Legomania

As a kid, I loved Legos. Heck, as an adult I like playing Legos with the boys. Over the years IÂ’ve made some pretty strange items. Once I even made a working lamp. It last a whole 4 days before I knocked it over and it shattered on the floor. Yet there are people out there that have made some pretty amazing things. Check out the Top 10 Strangest Lego Creations.

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February 25, 2006

A guitar I wouldn't shred.

IÂ’ve never had any interest in playing the guitar, let alone taking the time to learn how. Many of my friends and readers do play the guitar and I thought they might be interested in these.

Doug Rowell Carved Guitars

Even I wouldnÂ’t mind owning one of these, just for the artistic value. The guy that made these guitars has some serious wood working talent.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:09 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Sweet, it's hot!

Have you ever wanted to try to play Russian roulette, but the whole death thing kept you away? Well IÂ’ve found the answer for you, Chocolate Russian Roulette.

Chocolate Russian Roulette.

Â”Seated in individual compartments, twelve chocolate bullets lay waiting to be bitten into. Although eleven of the sweet little slugs contain delicious praline centres, one conceals a seriously red hot chilli that's guaranteed to blow your head off - metaphorically, at least.Â”

Emphasis Mine

IÂ’m tempted to purchase one of these just to try it. Since IÂ’m not a chocolate fan, I can love it or leave it. (Ladies put down the torches and pitch forks!) I think I would rather just eat the peppers.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:52 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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February 11, 2006

I want to go to THIS range.

One of my blogless buddies sent me this video clip. ItÂ’s labeled Southern Family Reunion, however IÂ’m not thinking that description is at all fitting. Especially since they show an Asian guy having fun too. I donÂ’t know what this really is; I just wish I were invited to play along.

I wonder if this is what The Conservative UAW Guy had in mind when he was translating what Â“IÂ’m going to the rangeÂ” meant.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:24 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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January 28, 2006

This will make you think.

This may be old, but I hadnÂ’t seen it before this week. Since I havenÂ’t seen it on any other blogs I thought I would share it with you all. The instructions are in Chinesse or something so here they are in ~~Engrish~~ er English.

River IQ Test

The object is to get everyone across the river.

Everybody has to cross the river, but there are rules:

A. Only 2 people on the raft at a time.
2. The father can not stay with any of the daughters without their motherÂ’s presence (or he will beat the snot out of them).
D. The mother can not stay with any of the sons without their fatherÂ’s presence (or she will beat the snot out of them).
4. The thief (striped shirt) can not stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there. (The thief will beat the snot out of a family member)
5. Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft.
6. To start click on the big blue circle on the right.
7. To move the people click on them. To move the raft click on the handle. (Red circles)

It is possible, once you figure out a couple of small things it will get easier. It took me about 15 minutes to figure it out the first time and IÂ’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. The above picture is shot from when I figured it out.

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January 24, 2006

Buying History.

I picked up the Winchester Model 94 today. Boy was I in for a big surprise, of the good kind! First, I had checked the stores website on Sunday, they had it advertised on there for $50.00 less then they charged Ktreva. At first I thought it was a different rifle, but the medallion in the stock kind of gave it away. When I brought this to their attention they refunded her the $50.00 plus tax difference, and apologized for the mistake! How cool was that?

Here she is:

Click to Enlarge

Then I noticed something else about it that I hadnÂ’t really paid attention to when I picked it out. ItÂ’s an Illinois Sesquicentennial Commemorative .30-30 carbine. It was made in 1968 to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the IllinoisÂ’ statehood. ItÂ’s never been fired, until I today it doesnÂ’t look like itÂ’s even been cocked! There is not a blemish, scratch or mark on it. ItÂ’s in pristine condition. It came in the original box (The box has seen better days) and with the paper work! Check out this registration card!

Click to Enlarge

Again, how cool is that? Fortunately Winchester still has their website up so I was able to register it that way and keep the original warranty card. I donÂ’t know if the gun shop had this thing sitting around for the last 38 years and wasnÂ’t able to sell it or if they bought it off of a guy that had it in his own private collection. Either way I donÂ’t care, itÂ’s mine now!

Now some people might tell me to put this up and never use it. To me that is an insult to such a fine tool. It begs to be shot, to be used. Would you buy a car and never drive it? Would you buy jewelry and never wear it? Well IÂ’m not buying a rifle and not shooting it! The next time I can get some people together to go shooting, itÂ’s going with!

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January 18, 2006

What good is all the violence in the world... Unless you have toys!

Back in the early 90Â’s I was a metal head. I know some of you find that hard to believe. Such a quiet, shy and well-reserved gentleman as myself being a disciple of that devil music. Well I was, youÂ’ll just have to accept me for who I am. In fact I still listen to a lot of metal, both modern and from the 80Â’s and 90Â’s.

One of my favorite bands from back then was GWAR. I loved this band, their songs where a mix of punk and metal with lyrics that where just for shock factor. They dressed in some pretty unusual costumes and they even had interesting stage shows. The one time I saw them in Chicago they took people from the audience and fed them through a giant meat grinder on stage. The grinder then shot Â“bloodÂ” and ground meat into the audience. Yes, I tried to get into the grinder, no I didnÂ’t make get to get turned into a stage effect. They gave themselves unusual names like Oderous Urungus, Flattus Maximus, Beefcake the Mighty, Jizmak Da Gusha and Balzak the Jaws of Death. They also had some support cast that would appear or do gust songs, one of my favorites guests was the Sexicutioner (hence the title of this post, it's a slaughtering of one of his songs. )

In college I had a poster for GWAR hanging on my wall it had Slymenstra Hymen on it. My blogless buddy Jay came down to visit me one weekend while I was in college, and while drunk decided she was the hottest chic he had ever laid his eyes on. Actually to this day I think he still fantasizes about her.

So why am I giving you all this information. Simply, my buddy Shadoglare of Refractional Darkness sent me an e-mail link. THEY ARE MAKING GWAR ACTION FIGURES!!!!!

Did I mention I loved this band? I have all of their albums, I had a t-shirtÂ… stupid college washing machines, and I know the lyrics to most of their songs. IÂ’m a full-blown Bohab! These guys rock! I ~~need~~ MUST get the entire collection! It is a moral imperative!

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January 14, 2006

It's a small world.

Some people like The Lord of the Rings Triligy. Some people like doll houses.

Some people combine those likes into a strange new hobby of making a miniature middle earth.

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December 29, 2005

Scots know parties.

Have you ever been to a New Years party that is dull and boring? They suck, everything is quiet and people just set around having Â“gentleÂ” conversations. That is why you need to find a Scot and go to their party. According to this article, Scottish New Year parties tend to have more incidents. Now in this article they are mainly referring to property damage, not physical damage.

Â” Parties in Scotland were the most accident-prone whilst those hosted in the southwest were relatively staid affairs.Â”

Of course they are; Brits donÂ’t know how to have fun. It takes a Scot to have a good time! See, itÂ’s not about breaking things; itÂ’s about fun. When people are having a good time, they tend not to think and do things on impulse, when this happens items get broken. Sure, itÂ’s annoying, and yes, maybe it can be expensive, but itÂ’s fun!

Â” One teenage party in Bristol got so out of hand that the claim for theft and malicious damage came to 5,000 pounds, he said.Â”

Those crazy teenagers! ThatÂ’s only about $8,626.50 American dollars, depending on when it happened. ThatÂ’s a small price to pay for a party that will live on through history. IÂ’m willing to bet the participants of this party will be talking about it until the day they die. Then their grandkids will regale their friends with the story of party.

Some of you may be saying to yourselves, Â“Sure there is more damage at a Scottish party, they are all boozed up.Â” People, that is an assumption. Sure, there is a readily available supply of good Scotch whisky, but that doesnÂ’t mean they are all drinking it. (Yes, I said that with a straight face.) Maybe they are drinking some good Scottish beer!

Anyway, the moral of this story is: If you want to attend a good New Years party, find a Scot.

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I can't believe this worked.

This should make every blogger out there kick themselves. An English lad, Alex Tew, came up with a brilliant idea on how to make money, the Million Dollar Home Page. I know my brain had a momentary seizure when I read this:

Â”The idea: turn his home page into a billboard made up of a million dots (pixels), and sell them for a dollar a dot to anyone who wants to put up their logo. A 10 by 10 dot square, roughly the size of a letter of type, costs $100.

What the hell? HeÂ’s selling pixels on his home pageÂ… and major companies are buying it up?

Â”That was picked up by the news media, spread around the Internet, and soon advertisers for everything from dating sites to casinos to real estate agents to The Times of London were putting up real cash for pixels, with links to their own sites.Â”

You know why this is working? Idiots like me are linking to this kid, driving up his traffic. That means people are actually seeing these adds, thus making it a fairly plausible marketing campaign.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:36 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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November 11, 2005

Throwing hot lead.

Grau has been talking/posting about going shooting for a while now. With approval from Ktreva, I told him yes, hell yes I want to go. What healthy red-blooded male would not want to go shred paper by throwing high velocity wads of led at it?

Normally I only shoot primitive black powder. (ThatÂ’s a flintlock to those not familiar with them). I own a couple of .22 long rifles. Okay, by a couple I mean five. But I havenÂ’t had anything else in years. Just because of the kids, my wifeÂ’s discomfort of modern firearms and no justifiable need for one. Well other then I really, really wanted one.

That changed today. While at a local sporting goods a couple months back I saw they had a .357 magnum. I asked the guy working the counter if I could look at it. I liked it, nice feel, good grip and nice balance. In all this talk of shooting, I decided I was going to buy it. Dreams sometimes just arenÂ’t meant to come true. Upon arrival at the store, they had sold it and had no more in stock. The only other .357 they had I didnÂ’t like. Reserved to not buying the handgun, I purchased some .22 rounds and my hearing protection. On my way to pick up clone, I saw another sporting goods store. Something inside me told my brain I should just stop and look. What was it going to hurt?

I walk up to the counter and they have 7 different .357s on display. Looking through the case I didnÂ’t really see one I liked. Then, in the corner of the case in an area kind of hard to see I saw it. Not just and .357, but the .357 I had wanted since I was in College. A stainless steel Taurus 7 round .357 revolver with a 6 Ã‚Â½ inch barrel It weighs 40 oz and is 10 Ã‚Â¾ inches overall in length. I thought to myself, the last time I looked at one of these, the store was asking around $500.00 for it. That was a bit more then I wanted to drop on a revolver that day. They had it on sale for a great price $279.00.

Faster then my brain could register, I pointed to the revolver and said to the guy behind the counter, Â“Me buy that.Â” Yes, that is exactly what I said. He pulled it out, removed the trigger lock and handed it to me. It fit in my hand perfectly. Looking up, I tell the guy, Â“This is the one I want, IÂ’ll take it.Â” (I was much more eloquent when my brain wasnÂ’t in shock.)

Here she is:

The only problem is that due to Illinois law I canÂ’t pick it up until Monday. That means I wont have it for this weekend. The nice thing with the .357 is that if Ktreva wants to shoot it, to help her get over her fear of firearms, I can put the lighter .38 special round in it.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:57 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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October 27, 2005

I'll take a blonde with a side of red head and a brunette to go.

AskMen.com is looking for people to vote for the top 99 hottest women. I could lie and say I didn't do this because I found it degrading... but to be honest I did vote and I don't find it degrading. Although I think I'm the only person in the US that would give Paris Hilton a 1... I think she's an unattractive skank whore.

So guys if you want to put your 2 cents in, go vote. Ladies if you want to vote, please give me details of who and why. Especially if it involves pudding.

UPDATE: It appears since the time that I found this vote and today they closed the voting. Sorry.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:25 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

Despair, apathy, nihilism. A Sith lord craves these things.

Everyone has seen them, the rubber wristbands that people wear to support everything from breast cancer to their favorite sports team. I admit I have one for the Green Bay Packers. In my defense, it was a gift and it is still in its plastic wrap hanging in my cubicle at work. However, what if you donÂ’t want to wear one, or if youÂ’re a ripe bastard and donÂ’t want a feel good ~~bracelet~~ wristband? A company out there has come up with a solution for you.

Bleak Wristbands. ThatÂ’s right, rubber ~~bracelets~~ wristbands for those of us that donÂ’t care about other people. You have the choice of ones that say Despair, Apathy or Nihilism. Who brings us this wonderful new product? No other then Archie McPhee & Co, the company that brought you Bacon Bandages.

To be honest I wouldnÂ’t mind getting one of the white apathy bands to wear at work, just to see how long it would take one of my minions to notice.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:58 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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October 06, 2005

Brilliant!

These two men are genius. They invented a coaster that will automatically notify bar staff when the glass is empty, thus prompting the wait staff check if they want a refill.

Even if you donÂ’t drink alcohol, you have to see the brilliance in this. It doesnÂ’t have to be just for alcohol. It could be used for any kind of drink. Personally, IÂ’ve lost track of the number of times I was sitting in a restaurant or bar waiting for a waitress/waiter to come and get me a refill.

Hats off to Matthias Hahnen and Robert Doerr, real men of genius. (I tried to find sound bites of the original commercials for "Real men of Genius". However, it appears that Annheuser-Busch has made every site that had any remove them. The only thing you can do is go to their site, log in and go to the commercials section to hear them. I can't link directly to their commercials page.)

Posted by: Contagion at 07:11 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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July 23, 2005

Fun for a Saturday and BlogCrawl reminder

I have a bit of hangover this morning, so after I'm done eating my Tabasco soaked eggs over easy, I'm going to go lay down. However I did find these two items that I think are kind of fun.

First is just a neat little graphic that follows your curser. If you click on the buttons on the bottom, it will take you to different graphics, not all of them are as neat as this one.

Secondly is an animated video for a song done by the Beatles, Maxwel's Silver Hammer. I'm not a Beatles fan, but I found this song/video rather amusing enough that I laughed and started teaching Clone the lyrics.

I hope everyone has a good weekend. I'm off to drink this hangover away.

Remember, Next Saturday is the BlogCrawl! For anyone that wants to get together, I'm going to be down at T1G's favorite hangout in Stillman Valley early in the night getting my drunk on and eating some pretty damn good Prime Rib.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:58 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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July 18, 2005

Phones and friends.

No wonder I turned out the way I did. Earlier today my blog mother Bou said she had a story she just HAD to tell me, but wouldnÂ’t do it over e-mail. She HAD to call and tell me. Apparently it had to have the right voice inflections. After much prodding and goading she was able to get a phone number out of me where I could be reached.

After I gave it to her, she decided she was going to change her mind and not give me a call. All right, I know when IÂ’ve been duped. Resigned to the fact that I was not going to get a call, I let my guard down. Just as that happens, the phone rings. Being as it was late, I figured my wife called from Chicago to tell me about her day. Answering the phone, I hear this feminine southern voice going about a mile a minute start talking. I had no idea who the hell it was at first. Between rapid fired sentences I caught on it was Bou. She apparently didnÂ’t appreciate my calling her out on her tricking me.

She dominated the conversation, not letting me get a word in edgeways. Although I did get her to admit that I do NOT have an accent. ThatÂ’s right folks; she admitted that I do not have an accent. During the entire conversation I believe I got off maybe one or two sentences. One time when I tried to say something, she chastised me for interrupting her.

If it wasnÂ’t for the fact that my wife did finally call, I would never have been able to get off the phone with out hanging up on her. We all know how much I like phones.

Actually it was nice putting a voice to the name. Now when I read her posts I wont be hearing them in an Ellie-Mae Clampett voice. Maybe next time she will let me get a word or two. In all honesty I think we spoke for about 20 minutes. Which is a 6-month record for me; when it wasnÂ’t my wife I was talking to or being put on hold. It was a pleasant experience. I think I even talked her into driving up here to meet the family sometime.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:20 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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