September 28, 2007

My fingers are numb.

For all of you beer fans and fans of the movie Beerfest, you'll appreciate this. Since I've been doing so good with my "diet", Ktreva took me to my favorite German restaurant for dinner and bought me a present

I have two words for you. more...

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September 12, 2007

Definately not routine.

Well this day is not going as planned. First I got up late due to a miscommunication with Ktreva. I rushed to work, got some stuff done and then ran to the doctor for a standard appointment. This appointment didnÂ’t go anywhere what I thought it would. It started with a small appointment to check out some of my medical issues and turned into a small surgical procedure.

I couldn’t believe how fast this went. The Doctor’s office called the insurance, faxed the information did the pre-cert and got benefits in less than 10 minutes. People, I’ve never seen such a rapid response in my life. I went from the exam room to the procedure room in under 30 minutes, had the procedure and was sent home in less than two hours. Now I’m at home “taking it easy”.

Unfortunately the stitches itch.

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September 04, 2007

How the weekend was spent.

What a fun weekend... for me. I spent most of the time over the weekend watching movies and working leather. This surprisingly enough was so much fun IÂ’m actually looking for some more leatherworking projects to get started on. I calculated the amount of time spent working leather and I figure I spent at least 35 hours at it.

When I wasn't working leather I helped Bruce move a couch from another friendÂ’s house to his. Where he proceeded to drop the steel framed beast on me. I'm okay, just a slight twang in the arm. I also spent some time with Wes drinking some Jack Daniels on his front porch. Allegedly we got quite loud yelling at people as the passed by oh and started pissing in his front yard. I don't know how much truth is to that last part, but I do know that Ktreva came from three houses down to get me under the guise that she was worried I didnÂ’t have my keys to get back in the house. When in all actuality it was because we were being loud and I think I embarrassed her.

Over all it was a good weekend. We had a lot of fun and I got a lot of work done.

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September 02, 2007

Labor day

I spent most of the day yesterday working leather for new moccasins and a reinforced leather sheath for my new knife. Today I'm helping Bruce move a couch and when I return it's back to working on the moccasins. Tomorrow I'm sure it's more leather work and doing some high intensity grilling.

I guess labor day is aptly named. Normally I don't do this much work on a weekend, let alone a holiday weekend.

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August 31, 2007

Done and Done!

Well I decided to go out and do it. With all the talk about wanting to get it done and actually having some time today, I had my upper ear pierced... twice.

contagion ear.jpg

Yea, my mother thinks I'm having a mid-life crisis.

What's funny is that apparently I'm a bleeder. It didn't hurt much more than giving blood... which is what I ended up doing. They used 16 gauge needles to get the size rings I wanted. When they pushed them through my ear I could feel something run down ear and drop onto my shirt. The girl that did the piercing was all nice and grabbed some paper towels to help stem the flow of blood. half an hour later the bleeding stopped and they where able to get the second one. That one didn't bleed anywhere near as much. As I told them, I guess you drained it all on the first try.

Right now it's a little sore, but overall it's not bad.

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Side Effects.

Well this restricted diet may actually be working. The stomach problems actually are starting to subside. It's been 4 days since I've had an episode, and that is a record over the last year. I'm down to taking my medication just at night which is good, because not being able to digest your food makes for some interesting situations in the bathroom.

Also, I lost 6 pounds in the last week. Which is truely amazing because the medications major side effect is that you gain weight. Oh, and I'm not even hungry, how cool is that?

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August 28, 2007

One week in on a life sentance.

ItÂ’s been a week now that IÂ’ve altered my eating habits per doctorÂ’s orders. I havenÂ’t had any red meat in that time period and I have discovered that IÂ’m quickly developing a strong hatred for poultry. Mainly because IÂ’m limited in what I can eat, ie I donÂ’t like pork (unless itÂ’s smoked and covered in BBQ sauce) and I have a mild allergy to seafood. I can still eat it, but I get nauseous when I do. Not that my spontaneously vomiting is an issue to me since I do it anyway. I just donÂ’t like feeling sick. That really leaves me with Chicken and Turkey on a daily basis.

This brings up an interesting series of questions I have for all of you.

1)Have you noticed that low/no fat versions of some of your favorite foods are also low/no flavor or it tastes like crap?

2)Does anyone else find that “alternative” meat versions of certain products are just wrong? Ie Turkey breakfast sausage is wrong on so many levels.

3)What in the love of god is up with people actually buying low-fat chips that cause anal leakage? Why would you do this to yourself?

4)Does anyone actually like the mouth feel or texture of tofu? Seriously, it reminds me of curdled milk.

5)Since IÂ’m not allowed to drink beer, I wonder if itÂ’s okay for me to have non-alcoholic beer. Just for the damn taste. (Grau, T1G and Bruce, please do not beat my arse for this question. I know itÂ’s blasphemy)

Oh and to all of you that sent me various recipes, thank you very much. IÂ’ll be trying a couple of them this week and IÂ’ll let you know what I thought.

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August 26, 2007

Strange

Last night I took KTreva out on a little date, just something simple; Dinner and movie. Now that may not sound like a great date, but when you have kids only a sitter for only 5 hours. You work with what you have. Plus since we hardly ever get out just the two of us, it was great.

I took her to a local Japanese restaurant that does the cooking at your table. We have two of these places in town and depending on the person you talk to depends on which one is better. To be honest I think they are about the same.

The best part of these places is the show you get with dinner. Now every time we've gone to anyplace like this, we've had an oriental guy that barely spoke English and it was hard to understand what he was saying. That is until last night. No, we had the only red neck oriental on the face of the earth. The guy had a slight southern accent and used the word "y'all" a lot.

I didn't have a problem with this, as he put on a great show and it was easy to understand him. It just through me off that he had a southern accent, especially since we live in the north.

Oh and if you are interested in the movie we saw, it was The Bourne Ultimatum. It was good, not as good as the first two, but definitely worth seeing.

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August 24, 2007

SOMETHING TO DRINK!

I finally found something other than water that I can drink. A diet cranberry juice that is made with sucralose instead of aspertame. Normally I'd say it tastes like watered down cranberry juice. But since I've had only water to drink (besides the two beers from the beer review), it tastes GREAT!

Now if I could only get Ktreva to let me add Vodka to it.

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August 21, 2007

Again into the Breech

I'm off to due battle with one of the most tyrannical powers in the world, the State of Illinois government. Folks, it is my sincere wish that I make it through these trials and tribulations with out harm to myself or others, and that I make it home safe and sound. Alas, I'm a feared that it is not going to happen that way.

From past experience I know that any dealing with Illinois Government for me usually ends up with at least a good shot to my groin.

Wish me luck.

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August 17, 2007

The good times are over.

I just returned from the doctor's office following up on my condition that I have intentionally not posted about in almost a year. Yes, I'm still slowly dissolving from the inside out. Well, we have good news and we have bad news, and then we have the worse news.

We'll start with the good news. They have once again ruled out the funky growth as cancer. So after going back and forth between yes it is cancer and no it's not cancer... they have confirmed it is NOT cancer. So when they told me I had a malignant neoplasm last October, they were wrong. Now to defend them we'll go to the bad news.

They still have no frickin' clue as to what it is. No one does. They've sent the samples off and we are getting nowhere. Every doctor and specialist that has studied has give the same report, "Testing inconclusive". So they can rule out what it isn't, but can't confirm what it is. Since no one can figure it out, I'm going to cut them some slack for misdiagnoses.

Worse news: Folks, I know most of you are sitting already because you are at a desk reading this on a computer. However, if you aren't, you may want to have a seat now. Today they tell me the worse news they could have ever told me, and I'm not sure I can deal with it. I know that Ktreva and the boys will support me in this time, but I really don't want to burden them with my issues and my problems. My friends may or may not be supportive, it all depends on their moods.

The doctors have told me today that I MUST reduce my beer consumption. They have given me a grocery list of foods and beverages I am no longer allowed to eat or drink other than occasionally. It includes all things like fast food, junk food, pop, beer, etc. IT also has things like tomatoes and tomato based products listed. So all the food and beverages that I hold near and dear to my heart are no longer acceptable for me to eat or drink.

Of course I'll still do my weekly beer review, as I did talk to the doctor about it and he said a couple each week won't kill me, literally.

So there it is folks; I'm cutting beer from my life.

Well after this weekend of course, I have to drink those 5 growlers, and the left over six-packs. I mean, I can't just dump it down the drain now can I?

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August 10, 2007

It's just a game, it's just a game...

Have you ever played a stupid, cheesy game and gotten hooked on it? To the point that you spend at least a part of every waking hour thinking about it. IÂ’m kind of stuck there right now.

And when I say stupid, cheesy game, IÂ’m not talking like some of those online games I post occasionally. IÂ’m talking about some of those stupid Yahoo games.

Why wonÂ’t my villagers stop trying to push the rock?!?!?!

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August 08, 2007

Flood pictures.

Yesterday while draining the basement I took a couple of breaks to get some pictures of what was going on in my neighborhood. When the pump was going, there really is nothing much else I can do. Well I guess I could try to splash water toward the pump.

I thought I would share with all of you just exactly how close this was to my house.

August 2007 flood 1.jpg

Okay, obviously I did NOT take the above picture, I found it online. But it shows what my neighborhood looked like. This picture is actually 3 blocks north of our house.

August 2007 flood.jpg

This is also not a picture I took, but I didn't get any good ones of the boats in the water. When I found the above picture I found this one as well. This was about four blocks directly north of me.

Flood 1.jpg

This was three blocks directly north of me after the water had subsided a lot already. I spoke with this gentleman and he was telling me his story. He stated that last year when it flooded he didn't have any structural damage, but he lost a lot of personal items and belongings. They were still trying to recover from having to buy new appliances, furniture, carpet, clothes, etc and paying to have it cleaned out. Now all the stuff that they had replaced is gone. He doesn't have the funds to be able to replace it this time.

flood 2.jpg

I'm sorry for the quality of this picture. The battery was dead on my good camera, so I had to use Ktreva's little point and click digital. It takes good close up pictures, but not at a distance. What I was trying to get was the water geysering up out of the water. This was taken hours after the city officials stated that the flood waters were subsiding, and gave a clear for people in the surrounding areas to return to their homes. Yet as you can see there was still enough pressure running through the storm drains to cause water spouts in 2-3 feet of water.

flood 3.jpg

This picture was taken after the flood waters had subsided a lot. This is a garage door that is almost exactly 500 feet from my property. You can see how high the water reached. It was about a 15 inches deep there. If you look out of my back yard toward this garage there doesn't appear to be much, if any incline at all, but obviously there is as the flood waters did not make it to my property. Yes, I had about 11 inches of water in my basement, but nothing that bad... thankfully.

I honestly feel that the majority of this could have been prevented. Maybe not completely, but at least reduce the amount of damage. The city has known for a while that Keith Creek needed work, but all they have done is sat in committee and made plans. They've stated there is no money. Yet they can find money to buy a Hockey team, redo the Metrecentre, build a riverwalk, have a study for a white water rafting park, etc. But they can't even fork out the money to clean out the creek bed of debris and sediment.

Our city administrator Jim "I got a DUI in a government vehicle and kept my job" Ryan stated they cleaned out parts of the creek. I'm not sure where, but nowhere near where I lived. Those creek beds where filled with plants and debris in my neighborhood. FYI the creek is housed in a man made cement drainage ditch. He also made the statement that cleaning them out wouldn't have prevented the flooding. He doesn't know that for sure, but using his same sense of omnipotence I can say that it sure would have lessened the overall impact.

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August 07, 2007

Flooding Rockford. Update: 14:10

Just a quick update. We have no power at home, and we are flooded. There is about 8-12 inches of water in our basement. Apparently the city of Rockford and the incompetence of itÂ’s elected officials did not learn a lesson from last yearÂ’s Labor Day flooding.

There is supposed to be more rain today so IÂ’m not sure if the water is going to be rising or not, but if it does we could be in a lot of trouble.

UPDATE 11:56: Power came back on about an hour and a half ago. I've spent the last hour draining the basement of about 4 inches of water. I rigged a pump to do the work for me. The problem is that I'm still getting some water rising up through the storm drain in the floor. Mental note: Cap and seal storm drain after this is over.

There are helicopters flying around surveying damage. The fire and rescue crews are on the scene pulling people out of the houses by boat. The have issued a warning in our area asking for a voluntary evacuation just in case the damn breaks. However the Army Corp of Engineers are saying it isn't that bad and as long as we don't get another down pour we should be fine.

Update 14:10: The basement is pretty much dry. All the water is gone, the humidifiers are doing their thing and I've bleached the area for all that it's worth for right now. I'll go back and do more disinfecting later once it's all dry.

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August 06, 2007

It was better than work.

Yea, well IÂ’m back. After spending the week with my in-laws I was ready to get home. We really didnÂ’t do too much. We went to Wichita. While there we had the van break down and I got to spend a day waiting at the dealership. We went to an Indian museum were they had some neat artifacts, but they also had some crappy horribly inaccurate reproduction costuming that they where trying to pass as authentic dress. I know many a native re-enactor that would have flipped out seeing nylon ribbon dresses and shirts being passed off as authentic Plains Indian clothing. It seriously was circa 1970.

We went to the Sedgwick County Zoo, we were there a couple of years ago and it was pretty good. This time it was kind of crappy. Not only was it ungodly hot, but also by 4:00PM half the animals were put inside where you couldnÂ’t see them. Although watching Clone interact with a gorilla was amusing.

We did go to see Transformers the movie. The movie was enjoyable, but seriously lacked in many departments. Luckily it wasnÂ’t just the movie we went for. The theater it was showing at was a full functioning pub/theater. You would sit in your seats, push a button on the armrest and a waiter would come out and take your order. You could get Pasta, burgers, steaks, salads as well as junior mints and popcorn brought to your seat for no additional charge. Plus they served beer!

On the way home we missed being in a horrible accident by seconds. We were about 30 minutes out from our hotel when Boopie said he had to go to the bathroom. Since IÂ’m the type that wants to get to the destination ASAP I asked if he could hold it for 30 minutes and he said he could. Ktreva said she also had to use the bathroom but could hold it until we arrived. As we were driving down the highway I saw a rest stop coming up and decided we that IÂ’d just stop so the family could go to the bathroom. We all went and were back on the road in 5 to 10 minutes. We werenÂ’t on the road for more then a minute when the vehicles ahead of us were slamming on the brakes and traffic was backed up. A Semi was flipped upside down alongside the road. There were no emergency vehicles on the road. Ktreva called 911 and they advised they were aware and had help in route.

From what we could see it looks like the semi was traveling westbound on 80. The tractor blew a tire, jumped across the median into oncoming traffic and flipped over into the cornfield. From the looks of the traffic and everything it looked like that if we hadnÂ’t stopped we very well could have been involved in the accident. It was kind of scary.

The boys fought and got on KtrevaÂ’s and my nerves for most of the week. I finally snapped 30 minutes from home. I told both of the boys that if they made one more sound I was going to make it so neither could sit for a week. It was the only time when they werenÂ’t sleeping that they both were quit for more then 3 minutes.

I also felt like a bootlegger. IÂ’m not exactly what the law is about carrying alcohol across state lines, but IÂ’m sure I broke them. Between the cases of wine, multiple six packs and liters of beer, and bottles of whisky, I think I would have made some of my ancestors proud. Hell, once we got home Ktreva pointed out that I didnÂ’t buy anything on vacation that wasnÂ’t alcoholic for a souvenir.

Anyways, IÂ’m home. Oh, and BTWÂ… whereÂ’s the comment party? Jebus, I left black powder, firearms, artillery, whisky, beer, whiskey and the contents of the night stand out for you all to play with. IÂ’m disappointed.

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July 23, 2007

My vehicles, my driveway.

Well the powers that be decided to tear up the street in front of my house. Now I’m not talking about the severity of what they did to Richmond’s old street, but pretty bad. Well her street was gone, but mine you can’t pass through. They’ve closed the road due to the eight-foot deep in the middle of the road. It’s “L” shaped starting in my neighbors yard going almost all the way across the street and then running down the middle of the road for about 20 feet. They started working on it last week, and it looks like they may finally be finishing it up.

In the meantime we’ve had all this construction equipment parked outside our house. Which anyone that knows me realizes how hard it was for me to not want to go joy riding on the Excavator Saturday night when I got home and was a little “socially lubricated”. They probably didn’t leave the keys in it, but I know they left it unlocked. Mahn, I could have dug some big holes!

WeÂ’ve also had a lot of vehicles parked in front of our house and big trucks coming and going hauling away debris and bringing in fresh materials. I understand they are just doing their job and there was something seriously wrong with the storm drains, so I didnÂ’t complain. It needed to be done, and is there really a good time for this?

I only had an issue once. I went to leave for work one morning and a tractor/trailer hauler was parked blocking my driveway. There was no way out either driving through my yard or the neighbors. Well not with out taking out some fences in the back yards. I walked up to the guy sitting in the cab and asked, “Hey, could I get you to move the truck just for a moment? I need to go to work and I can’t out.”

The guy shot back with, “Well you shouldn’t be parked there.”

Me, “Well, yea I should it’s my driveway. That’s were I park.”

Guy, “You should be parking on the side street. The city sent notice telling you.”

Me, (Starting to loose patience) “ No, no they didn’t. The only reason we knew this was going to happen is we saw someone painting lines on the road. And no I shouldn’t park on the street; it’s my driveway. I park in my driveway, not half a block away on another street.”

At this point some foreman/supervisor/engineer/person in charge walked up and asked if there was a problem. I explained my situation and the supervisor guy asked if I could wait until they finished unloading. Which I said thatÂ’s fineÂ… I didnÂ’t realize it was going to take them 25 minutes to finish, but as long as I got to work on time, I was okay.

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It's all for me grog.

Since my last re-enactment IÂ’ve been some kind of Celtic Music listening fiend. IÂ’ve been listening to it at work, in the truck, and allegedly singing some bawdy Irish drinking songs at Carlyle brewery Saturday before the Raptor game and drunken Scottish fighting songs after the game. Also allegedly in a Scottish brogue. Anyone that has heard me sing knows that my singing is not a good thing, not a good thing at all.

Yea, apparently I was very entertaining to those around me between yelling at the Raptors for loosing and singing songs about houses of ill repute.

It's all for me grog, my jolly, jolly grog. It's all for me beer and tobacco for I spent all me loot in a house o' ill repute and I think I'll have to back there tomorrow.

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July 12, 2007

It made sense when I said it.

Have you ever had the problem with finding the past tense of a word or phrase? If so, youÂ’ll understand this post, if notÂ… owell the English language sometimes escapes me. Especially if IÂ’m drinking.

The other day I was talking to Ktreva when I explained to her a story about some escapades I had in the past. That’s when I uttered the phrase, “We didn’t know what to do, so we just wung it.”

Ktreva, “Wung it?”

Contagion, “Yea, Wung it. You know the past tense of wing it.”

Apparently from the shade of red she turned and the barking laughter she did not think that was the proper form.

What do you think?

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June 11, 2007

So good.

ItÂ’s been a long time since IÂ’ve burdened my readers with a problem of mine, but folksÂ… I just need to talk about this. IÂ’m a pretty laid back kind of guy. I tend to go with the flow, instead of making waves. And I donÂ’t obsess over things.* However, of late, IÂ’ve found myself continually obsessing over something.

Bar-B-Que. Yes, I know I have it bad when I want to come home after a long days work and spend 4 hours slow cooking meat over a smoky fire in 87 degree heat. IÂ’ve been bar-b-queing chicken, pork, beef and other assorted meats. Today Ktreva told me she was going to hit the grocery store after work, she wanted to know if there was anything special I wanted her to pick up. Oh god yes, all I wanted was some kind of sausage link or ring. It needed to be slow smoked then slathered in the tangy sauce of the cooking gods. I told her anything other then Bratwursts and IÂ’ll be happy.

I come home and she’s picked up some “spicy stadium sausages”. Well they were bratwursts, but it’s okay. I’ll make do with what I had. After getting the fires stoked, I threw my secret smoking packs onto the heat and let them get nice and hot. A thick smoke covered the neighborhood. Neighbors were coming out of their houses to investigate what the tantalizing scent was… then realized it was me, ran back inside and bolted their doors. Well, except the neighbor guy I actually like. He made a play for the contents of the packs again.

From 4 until 7:00PM I slow cooked those sausagesÂ… and just when the smell was about to drive me mad. I gently coated each link with the sauce. For the last couple of minutes the sauce cooked on as a second skin sealing in the wonderful flavor. The sausages were pulled off the heat. Unbeknownst to me, Ktreva had gotten her hands on my motherÂ’s secret potato salad recipe. For those of you that have head it, itÂ’s the original recipe, not the lower fat, calorie one. Ktreva, my darling temptress of the bar-b-que side dish had secretly made my favorite of all side dishes.

Folks, let me tell you. Right now IÂ’m in pure heaven. Unfortunately the sausages Ktreva bought were too spicy for her and the boy, but they were perfect for me. Great flavor and oh so delicious, just the way a good bar-b-que sausage should be. Mixed with the potato salad of the godsÂ… this was a meal to make any man happy.

And yet I sit here wanting. Not more food, cause IÂ’m like an over stuffed tick right now. No, IÂ’m wanting more meat to bar-b-que, to smoke, to grill. I canÂ’t get it out of my mind. The urge, the desireÂ… the NEED. IÂ’m already planning on slow cooking a beef brisket this Sunday. IÂ’m thinking of a special homemade rub that I make to pre-season it. Then as soon as itÂ’s done, I know IÂ’ll be planning the next meat.

IÂ’m like a machine, I just canÂ’t stop. And a lot of this meat is going to waste. As we canÂ’t eat it all and IÂ’m continually making more. ItÂ’s going to be a long bar-b-que filled summer. To make matters worse, weÂ’re driving through Kansas City (Hell Hole of the US), one of the four bar-b-que capitols. I may just drown in sauce yet.

*(Scotch, Beer, the female form, re-enacting, Listerine Pocket Paks and zombies are excluded from this statement)

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May 23, 2007

Protecting the family.

Fight or Flight response, the body’s primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to “fight” or “flee” from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival. When a situation arises that we view as harmful, it is this response that prepares us for our next action. Some people will flee, or avoid the situation in order to protect themselves or others from harm. Others will attack to protect themselves or others. They say it’s a hard wired reaction that only years of training can change exactly how you respond, but either way it will be in one of those two ways.

What they donÂ’t tell you is that this response can be particularly hazardous to you, your family and your property. You see a threat and you react with out thinking. By the time your brain catches up with your actions, you realize what you just did was incredibly stupid. At that point you just hope no one was around to see it and that you can repair everything so it wonÂ’t be noticed.

LetÂ’s say you are sleeping. For some reason that you donÂ’t know you wake up. There at the foot of your bed someone is standing over you and your wife. Not a kid someone, but an adult someone. Some people might flick on a switch, others might grab a phone, and some may grab a weapon. Or they may just leap out of the bed with a spryness reserved for Hollywood Superheroes and tackle the invader, driving them to the ground and pummeling the ever loving snot out of them. When your wife flicks on the light switch to see what is happening, you notice that there is no one there. YouÂ’ve succeeded in crushing and utterly destroying the oscillating fan that was at the foot of your bed. There is no sign of anybody else in the house that shouldnÂ’t be there, and all the kids are sleeping.

Folks, I swear by all that is dear to me I woke up and saw a man standing at the foot of my bed. It was as real as the monitor in front of your face. I mean I’ve woken up and “saw” things but I realized it was just a visual memory from a dream I was having or a trick of the lighting. In this case before that could happen I took out the fan before everything became clear. I utterly destroyed it. Between the tackling and the dozen or so well placed punches, it didn’t stand a chance. So today I get to go out and buy a new fan.

IÂ’m just glad I landed where I did. If I had traveled another foot further I would have gone through the window and landed in the front yard. Did I mention I sleep in the buff? Yea, that would have helped my neighborÂ’s image of me. A fat ugly naked guy beating the snot out of a fan in his front yard, that story would spread fast.

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