My parents took Clone to the Rockford Airshow yesterday. They picked him up around 10 AM. They also kept him so that Ktreva and I could hit the Raptor's game together last night. Since they knew it was going to be a late night they offered to keep him until Sunday morning and they would drop him off after church. Basically we had 24 hours of no kids!

As two child free adults what do we do?

Go for a nice lunch in a sit down restaurant, go see a movie, meet up with two of my three blogspawn, Petey and Bruce at Carlyle's, hit the football game and end up having a camp fire in the backyard. And finally sleeping until a storm called us from bed.

Yea, I realize we were pretty lame.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Lets see... two days of non-stop interviewing and most of the candidates really just wasted my time. I mean seriously people my partner and I felt embarrassed for these people after the interviews. I finally finished it off. After interviewing 15 candidates I had only one that was passable to the second round. ONE!

If I wasn't interviewing I was in stupid meetings. It was either on topics that didn't involve me or were just so drawn out by the gaggle of women I work with each having to voice their exact same opinion as the person before them only using slightly different word combinations. I seriously started dozing off in one of the meetings. When someone asked me a question and pulled me awake, I just honestly said, "Sorry.... I was sleeping." After that I kept asking some of my peers that I liked if they wanted to go for a beer after work. Unfortunately no one could take me up on it.

Bruce then contacted me and asked if I wanted to go to Fritz's tonight. Hells yeah! So right now I'm waiting for him to get off of work so we can head down for some frosty beer goodness.

And since it's seriously warm in the house right now and humid as all hell. A good beer in a bar sounds mighty perfect.

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I was running around on lunch today picking up supplies, aka beer, for the Beer Tasting IÂ’m hosting this weekend. The shopping was taking long and Ktreva had a conference call so I volunteered to drop her off while I went and picked up lunch for us. I was just running to the Subway a couple of blocks from work. As I turned onto the side street to access the parking lot, I hear a slight grinding noise coming from the vehicle. At first I thought it was the brakes, but I noticed it kept going even after the brakes were released.

When I pulled into the stall I got out of the vehicle and walked to the passenger side. There I heard a sound that made me utter a curse under my breath. It was the slow HSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssss of air leaving a confined space. Just looking at KtrevaÂ’s van I could tell which tire it was. Her passenger front tire was slowly deflating.

Having been through this before, I started pulling out the jack and tools to get the spare tire out from underneath the van. As I twisted the crank to lower the spare tire, I noticed that the spare wasnÂ’t lowering. The cable was coming down just fine; the spare was still under the body. It seems the metal clasp that holds the tire up rusted to a part under the van.

There I was in the parking lot of Subway swearing, climbing under the van with a pry bar and trying to break the tire free. After about 15 minutes it finally popped off. Everything went smoothly after that. The nuts came off easily, the jack worked perfectly, no one tried to run me over. I put the spare on and lowered the vehicleÂ… and watched as the van went to the rim of the spare. It seems the spare was flat too.

Now folks, I would like to say that I was calm, cool and collected about this. But seriously I went on a cursing tirade that scared the living daylights out of people. A couple of employees that work at my company were coming out of the subway during my rant and heard me. They ran away pretty damn fast. A lot of people in the area were looking at me with an unsure look on their face. I figure they either thought I had Tourette’s or I was a “Special ed” adult throwing a temper tantrum.

Figuring I that I was stuck and had nothing else I could do, I ran into Subway, picked up lunch and headed to the nearest tire place, Discount TiresÂ… on the rim of the spare. Hey, itÂ’s cheaper to replace the spare!

I get to the tire place and they are PACKED! Packed I tell you! I asked how long it was going to be, and the guy told me it would be an hour to hour and a half. Fine, so I sat down, at my sandwich and then called a bunch of people to see if they were still coming this weekend. After about an hour they came and got me. The guy said there was no damage to the tire and he could fix it easily enough. They even fixed the spare.

When I asked how much, cringing waiting to hear him say some outlandish amount, he responded with, “Nothing, it’s free.” Excuse me? Did you say Free? You mean there is no charge? Why is there no charge? “I don’t know, the work order says “free repair”. I even verified with the first guy I spoke with. He said there is no charge.

HuhÂ… no charge. You donÂ’t get that very often anymore do you? That was about the only bright spot on the incident is that other than a loss of my time, it didnÂ’t cost me a thing. The next time I need tires, IÂ’m probably going to go back to this place and check them out. Thank you Discount Tires on Perryville in Rockford, Illinois.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:15 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Yesterday, my bog spawn, Virtue of the rarely updated The Rantings of an Indentured Servant was married. She married a guy that seems to be nice. He's a marine and has 9 months left to serve. Ktreva, Graumagus and myself all rode down together.

Virtue is a re-enacting friend of ours and she had a Scottish-style wedding. The guys were all in Kilts. Since she was one of our own getting married, we decided to do the right thing and have a Scottish Basket Hilted Claymore sword arch for them to walk into the reception under. Graumagus, our friend Maeldun, our friend Giles and myself were the sword bearers. Maeldun and Grau had the honor of smacking the bride and bride groom on the arse with swords. Hey, if he's going to wear a kilt and call it a skirt, he gets one too.

It was a nice outdoor ceremony, the weather was perfect. After the ceremony there was a reception. Since the wedding was at 10:00AM, the reception started at 1:00PM. We followed the directions on my GPS, but it took us to some backwood dead end part of Killem and Rapem hollow. Fortunately we also had directions from the wedding on how to get to the reception. Funnily enough the directions weren't 100% accurate either, but it was easy to find. Especially since we drove past the VFW were it was being held when following the GPS directions.

The reception was fun. We got to sit, visit and have a good time. Everything seemed to go really well. The food was good and there was of course dancing and what not. Mostly we just talked, told stories and caught up with some friends we hadn't seen in a while.

We left the reception around 4:45 PM to head home. We had to leave early because Grau, Ktreva and myself were going to the Raptor's game last night. Man was that a fun game. I really got our defense fired up. I had them out for blood. I had the defensive line right in front of my seats. So I would tell them I needed them to go out there and get the ball. We need a turn over! I ended up pulling a Jimmy McGinty from the Replacements. "Fox, I need you to get me the ball" Fox "You want me to get you the ball?" me, "I want you to force a turn over and bring it back here and show it to me!" Fox, "I'm bringing you the ball!!!!" Me, "Go get the ball!!!!" Fox, "I'm getting the ball! RAAAAHHHHRRR!!!!"

He then ran onto the field and seriously almost killed the quarterback. He then got one of the other Defensive linemen into it, "Sunshine" Matrenga. I don't think he likes the nickname, but it's in reference to the movie Remember The Titans. Ronnie Bass gets the nickname "Sunshine" because he's from California and has long flowing blond hair. Matrenga has long hair with blond highlights. It reminded me of Bass when I first saw it. Either way the both of them kept getting to the quarterback, sacks, forcing bad throws, etc. Neither of them forced a fumble though. Which is fine. They had the Flint Phantom's quarterback running for his life most of the night. I swear he wet himself a couple of times. The Raptors won by almost twice the points.

All in all it was a fun day.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:22 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Since Monday night the family has been on sick watch. It started with Boopie Monday night around 8:00 PM. Then Ktreva started getting sick sometime in the middle of the night. I started Tuesday morning.

I'm going to save you all the details, but I really could go with out the abdominal cramping and two way exiting of any substance I happen to eat or drink.

Posted by: Contagion at 03:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Well, I did it. Last night I went and shaved off all of the facial hair. Now, I'll be honest I've had mixed reactions. First I have Clone, "Daddy, you look fancy." I don't know where that came from, but okay! I'm not arguing with a five year old.

Boopie just laughed at me and said I looked like a dork. Ktreva told me that I looked about 15 and that she liked me better with facial hair. That was between bouts of laughter.

At work this morning, for the short time I was there before having to get get Clone, I had mixed reactions. Everything from, "Did you lose a bet?" to "You look like younge." Some said they liked it, but I think they where just being nice. No, I agree. I think I look like a bigger dork.

See, I've had facial hair for pretty much all of my adult life. I started growing a mustache in High School and I kept it through college. I shaved it off for a short period of time when I did my internship, but grew it back. When I worked in Law Enforcement I couldn't have a beard , so as soon as I left that field I actually grew one. I had that for a while, but decided I didn't like it, so I shaved it down to the Goatee. For those of you that have met me, you'll recognize me in this picture:

It's not the best picture, but it gives you an idea. That is the facial hair I've sported for the last 10 years of my life. Usually shorter and better trimmed, but it was always some variation of that.

What I had for years took me less then 5 minutes to get rid off. I trimmed it down and then completely shaved. My upper lip not having seen a razor since 96.

If you want to see how dorky I look now... just go to the extended entry. more...

Posted by: Contagion at 11:16 AM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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1 You do look like your 15 bwahahahaha

Posted by: Quality Weenie at April 24, 2008 11:57 AM (uHRYR)

2 maybe I should shave my facial hair....?

Posted by: AWTM at April 24, 2008 12:22 PM (f726z)

3 Umm yeah you remember when I shaved a few months back? Reaaaaly not sure which of us is scarier

Posted by: Shadoglare at April 24, 2008 12:29 PM (Volhe)

4 I think it looks nice! Change is good!

Posted by: Richmond at April 24, 2008 12:56 PM (PN4cx)

5 I think I looked scarier with the facial hair. With out it, I look like a cherubic 15 year old. Richmond, thanks for saying so. But I know that you're lying to be nice.

Posted by: Contagion at April 24, 2008 03:08 PM (f5Co1)

6 Caaann'tttt.........gasp!!!........ .....Stop....................gasp!!!!....... ...........Laughing...........gasp!!!!!...... literally ROTFLMAO-TTCMB Aren't you just just a sweet little thing. Dork. O yea. Thats right. I called you a dork. What are you and your pinchable little cheeks going to do about it? *rolls away laughing*

Posted by: Petey at April 24, 2008 03:44 PM (tmnSV)

7 I say we take a vote on whether you should grow the facial hair back. My vote is grow it back. Sorry but I'm with Ktreva, you look better with facial hair. And yes I'm still laughing at the pic!!

Posted by: red at April 24, 2008 07:27 PM (Xw6pC)

8 Ummmmmm yeah not exactly the kinda scary I was talking about

Posted by: Shadoglare at April 24, 2008 08:02 PM (G/H+i)

9 "With out it, I look like a cherubic 15 year old. Yep. You do...... ;-) Start takin' your ID with you, you're SO gonna get carded!!

Posted by: Tammi at April 25, 2008 04:28 AM (pKwEP)

10 And thusly lies the reason I will not have my picture taken without my beard. You sorta look like a dude we arrested last week at a Krispy Kream though....

Posted by: BloodSpite at April 25, 2008 07:00 AM (dl14p)

11 Kaufhing toi hsrd to tupe....

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 25, 2008 08:25 AM (ueSyz)

12 You like like a pre pube Hobbit!

Posted by: Bruce at April 25, 2008 05:31 PM (82bY/)

13 Holy crap!! Grow it back. Grow it BACK!!! You don't want Ktreva arrested for statutory, do you??

Posted by: Mrs. Who at April 25, 2008 07:46 PM (mkt/e)

14 .... wow.... what a complete difference!.....

Posted by: Eric at April 27, 2008 07:04 AM (g02Hg)

15 All you need is braces!!! The outdated, dusty tux, with a side of overly large fake flowers for your eighth grade dance would help too. LOL!!!

Posted by: dragon fly at April 27, 2008 11:15 AM (j4VM3)

16 No offense, dude, but you look like my lesbian cousin.

Posted by: og at April 27, 2008 03:14 PM (Sewtu)

17 LOL - so how long with this last? I'm guessing until someone pats you on the head and calls you "boy".

Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2008 04:39 PM (EPWWA)

18 I think change is good. You look fine!

Posted by: oddybobo at April 28, 2008 07:25 AM (mZfwW)

19 who is the 15 year old nerd boy? DAMN dude. Wow. But I like it.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 28, 2008 11:52 AM (IfXtw)

20 My good friend, Tell them that they can all kiss your rosey red...... Wait a minte thats your face. Sorry!!! Just kidding it looks fine, not that bad, good on you? Ok different. wil

Posted by: wi at April 29, 2008 10:26 AM (u+Qbj)

21 Just gave me something else to hassle ya.

Posted by: Jim at May 02, 2008 01:57 PM (snjAi)

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I'm home watching Clone. As I sat here on the computer playing a game I got a phone call from Apple Computers. They had a question about an order I had placed. Well I hadn't placed any orders with Apple, especially for an Iphone or case.

I called my credit card company and verified the charges where on there. They were great and took the charges off, canceled my account and are going to re-register a new one to me.

I'm not sure how they get the card number they did, we don't use it. I'm not sure why they gave Apple all of my information, I'm so confused right now that I'm not sure what is going on.

Posted by: Contagion at 02:35 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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We had an earthquake lastnight? Well apparently we did, that's what everyone is talking about today. I wouldn't know it happened at 4:37 AM. At that time in the morning I'm sleeping. Apparently it was noticeable, but with the way Ktreva tosses and turns, if I did wake up, I probably just throught it was her.

According to the Rockford Register Star:

An earthquake centered in southern Illinois rocked people awake across the Midwest early today, surprising residents unaccustomed to such seismic activity.

The quake just before 4:37 a.m. was centered six miles from West Salem, and 66 miles west of Evansville, Ind.

Initially pegged as a 5.4 earthquake, the U.S. Geological Survey revised its estimate to give it a value of 5.2....

...The quake shook skyscrapers in ChicagoÂ’s Loop, 230 miles north of the epicenter, and in downtown Indianapolis, about 160 miles northeast of the epicenter.

I just want to know why is it that when we have an Earthquake around here, it always happens in the middle of the night?

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I finally got a call from the Doctor's office regarding my MRI results. There is some really good news, it doesn't look like I need surgery! YEAH!

According to the Doctor, the MRI didn't show any fractures or torn ligaments and tendons. They said I have a really bad sprain of the ankle and foot compounded by what appeared to be signs of a dislocated ankle that had corrected itself.

I'm supposed to stay off of it for the next couple of weeks, take it easy, don't do any heavy lifting. They said I can take ibuprofen for pain and ice it as necessary to reduce the swelling. Well, anyone that knows me knows that I'm going to follow the doctor's orders to a T.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go unload the water softener salt from the back of the truck, go through the re-enacting gear and see if I can finish cutting up that tree in the back yard.

Posted by: Contagion at 03:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Yesterday is a day that will forever go down in my book as one of the worst days ever. It started off nicely enough but things took a turn for the worse quickly.

It all started while I was in a morning meeting, just after the meeting started one of my employees came into the conference room and advised us of an emergency. An employee that doesn't report to me had collapsed at her desk. Her supervisor, another and the managers went to check on her. The rest of us stayed in the conference room to finish the meeting. We paused for a moment when the ambulance arrived and then continued on. A couple of minutes later when it left with in minutes of arrival lights and sirens we knew something bad had happened. Usually when we have an incident the ambulance arrives, they stay for about 15 minutes prior to leaving and they leave rather slowly.

Upon leaving the room we were hit with the information that the employee had passed out at her desk, was having trouble breathing and they had issues finding a pulse. They had put an AED (Automatic Emergency Defibrillator) in order to find a heart beat. About an hour later our office was hit with the news that the employee had died. Most of the day was spent trying to comfort and support an emotionally devastated staff.

Then last night around 9:45 my phone rings. There is breathing on the other end and I have to say hello twice before I get anything. It was my mother. She was calling to say that she wasnÂ’t feeling good, she was rather incoherent and wasnÂ’t completing sentences. Then we were disconnected. I jumped off of the couch, grabbed my keys to head to her house as fast as KtrevaÂ’s van could take me. While in route I called her back to see if I could get specifics and to see if I needed to call 911. I thought maybe Dad was out and she was alone having problems.

When I called her back she told me she was heading to the hospital, Dad was driving. She handed the phone to Dad and he told me she was having chest pains and was complaining of not feeling good. They told me not to head over as there wasnÂ’t anything I could do at this time. So I turned around and went home.

Through out the night and this morning I received news that she was being admitted and that they were running tests. This morning Dad tells me that no matter what happens, Mom is not going to be working for the rest of the week, which is to be expected. He also told me that mom was stable and that the doctor was in checking on here and preparing to run some more tests to make sure everything is okay.

Needless to say, not much sleep last night.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:38 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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I'm off to get the MRI on my foot. Here's to hoping for a really bad sprain.

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I went to the doctor today to follow up on my foot. He's pretty sure it's not broken, but he thinks I may have done something even worse. I may have ruptured a ligament. Tomorrow I get to schedule an MRI to see if this is the case. If I did rupture a ligament, that means surgery and rehab and could end up meaning I have to take a couple of months off of re-enacting. BAH! On the other hand he also said that if that's not the case I may have just sprained it really bad and that all I need to do then is stay off of it for a while. I'm hoping for option number two.

Oh and just in case you didn't notice, I created a special section in my side bar to give credit to those of you that have donated beers to my reviews. May the gods smile upon you!

Posted by: Contagion at 06:32 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Do not eat the egg salad sandwich out of the vending machine. No matter how much you like egg salad and how good it looks, the side effects are not worth it.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:06 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Sorry, I had meant to make a Happy St. Pats day post yesterday, but I woke up really excited. It was kinda like this:

I had to go to work, but only for a couple of hours. Of course I went in style, I had on a green shirt and dress slacks as well as my family tartan tie. On my head I wore a big sparkling green derby and a ton of beads. After taking as much work as I could handle, I ran home to change into some party gear and headed down to FritzÂ’s. Basically I just changed into jeans and a PackerÂ’s jersey and wore even more beads.

I arrived to see Tammi waiting for me at the bar. At first she wasnÂ’t going to have a drink, but then she broke down and had not one, but two! Bruce and another friend of ours showed up and we started the festivities out with a couple of Irish Car Bombs. In which a great debate upon what exactly is an Irish car bomb ensued. I knew it wasnÂ’t just Guinness and JamesonÂ’s, but everyone told me I was wrong. Since I was there to have fun, and didnÂ’t want to start trouble I just went with it. But technically an Irish Car Bomb is:

1/2 pint Guinness
1 oz Jameson
1/2 oz Bailey's Irish cream

Pour Guinness into a pint glass. Float Baileys on top of Jamison in shot glass. Drop shot glass, carefully, into Guinness. Drink quickly before it curdles.

I know I started giving beads to anyone and everyone that didnÂ’t have a set. And I kept telling them that they were good Irish fun beads, not those naughty Mardi Gras beads. I didnÂ’t expect anyone to start flashing their chests at me. Especially since I was also giving them to minors. It starts to get a little foggy after Tammi left and we did another round of Irish Car Bombs. I know there were some phone calls, but IÂ’m not sure to whom. Allegedly I was swapping pictures with Bloodspite, but I have no recollection of that.

Ktreva and the boys showed up for some corned beef and cabbage. We ate a good meal down there; everyone seemed to really like the food. I must say that was some of the best corned beef IÂ’ve had in a long, long time. After they were done eating, Ktreva and the boys went home and I headed to Old Chicago to meet up with Bruce whom had left to meet some friends earlier. En route I called Wes and told him to get his sober Irish arse to the bar and IÂ’d buy him a pint. Of course the offer of free booze brought the Irishman running.

Overall it was a good day. A lot of toasts were made, some clean, some bawdy and some just downright raunchy. There were also a lot of jokes and humor at others expense to be had. IÂ’m afraid poor Bruce took a beating. Fortunately heÂ’s a good-natured fellow and took it for the friendly ribbing that it was meant to be. Oh, and I wasnÂ’t even the worst.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:56 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 It was a good time had by all. We takes our lumps and keep in mind we also giveth them as well!

Posted by: Bruce at March 18, 2008 08:14 PM (Dw9SA)

2 Sounds like a good party.

Posted by: Petey at March 18, 2008 09:17 PM (JhiOW)

3 A belated Happy St. Paddy's day to you. Glad it was so much fun. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at March 19, 2008 11:45 AM (rVIv9)

4 Someone gave Bruce a hard time? Why, those bastards!!! Poor guy just sits there, minding his own business.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at March 19, 2008 07:37 PM (ATrAd)

5 Thanks for the pint, boyo.

Posted by: Wes at March 20, 2008 07:05 AM (1crE/)

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No, not that kid of guys and leather. Seriously, is that all you think of?

Yesterday I spent most of the day working leather. I had to make myself a new pair of moccasins, this time I had a much better idea of what I was doing and this pair actually turned out looking decent. They aren't the prettiest damn things I've ever seen, but compared to my first pair, they are down right works of art.

While I was working on these Wes came over to try his hand at working leather. He needed to repair a saddle seat he has. I'm not sure what was more amusing to Ktreva, listening to Wes swear when he'd make a mistake or me when I would accidentally poke myself with a needle. Shadoglare came over to drink some beer and to converse. He had contacted me earlier in the day wanting to know if I wanted to go out, I told him that I really needed to get the leather work done. He also contacted Graumagus to see if he wanted to go out. He had to work.

Later in the evening Grau called and said he was heading to Carlyle's after work with some friends. He got off of work at 11:00. Since I started sewing at 1:00, when I finally got my mocs 2/3 of the way done, I decided to stop and go hang out there. Wes had to head home, four kids and all. Shadoglare and I went and hung out with Grau until 2:00 AM just getting caught up.

He's still alive right now. He's not sure when he's coming back. Mostly because he has some court time ahead of him and he's not sure how thats going to go. But that's all the detail you're going to get from me at this time.

Well if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to go make some leggings. Or as Ktreva wants to call them, 1750's arseless chaps.

Posted by: Contagion at 03:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I'm getting ready to head out to the Kiwanis Pancake Day with the family. Besides doing my normal goofy Saturday posts, I've been busy this morning already. I've cut up a deer shoulder, sliced it and started a seasoning and curing process on it so that I can make jerky out of it tomorrow. This afternoon I'm going to be making a new set of Moccasins and leggings. This could be interesting, real interesting as I've never made leggings before.

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I've been re-enacting for years. The one thing that has been seriously wrong with my gear has been my glasses. I wear them all the time and they weren't period at all. Most of the events turn a blind eye to this because they understand that people need glasses and as long as they looked close enough, that was fine.

For at least 4 years now you've been able to get period style glasses. One of my friends whom I've referred to as Wind In His Hair (WIHH), He plays a native and no that's not the name he goes by, gave me a pair that were once his father's. I had said something last October that I was going to purchase a set. He told me not to as I could have his father's old pair. They were the exact same ones I was planning on ordering. Yes, there is another pair that are actually for my time period, but the temple bars don't go over the ears. Everybody I've spoken to about them says the same thing, They fall off your head if you start to sweat.

Today I took them to Lens Crafters to have my prescription fitted in them. When the sales girl came to ask if she could help me, I produced the glasses and said I needed lenses fitted for these. The look on the girl's face when she looked at them was classic. She looked at the glasses, looked at me, looked back at the glasses and said, "I need to take these in the back to see if we can even fit them." She was gone 15-20 minutes talking to the technician that would make the lenses. Finally a lady comes out and says, "We can do it." My friend J-man was with me and we were joking they were arguing over who was going to come out and tell the burly guy with the funny glasses that they couldn't do it.

When the lady started taking measurements she asked me what kind of glasses they were. I explained they were replica 1785 glasses. She almost dropped them. In her concentration to enter the information into their computer she didn't hear the word "replica". After I explained they are $30.00 frames, she calmed down. Of course she added a caveat that if the frames were damaged they would not be responsible for them as they could not replace it. Fine, what ever.

I swung back there after work and picked them up. Now I'm not saying that I like these and the way that I think they are stylish. Nope, they are ugly as sin. Hell they look pretty stupid. They pinch and are uncomfortable. I asked if they could be adjusted and they tried a little, but were afraid to do more because the tech thought they would break. Since I've picked them up, I've been wearing them. I just want to make sure they got the prescription right, and it seems that they did. But boy do they give you tunnel vision and my peripheral vision is shot to hell.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:53 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Last weekend after helping Bruce move his brand new bed, (Sorry Tammi, not your brand). We headed down to Fritz's for an afternoon of conversation and beer. We hadn't been down there long when I hear Bruce spout off a "Contagion, you want a nipple with that?"

I look and his beer is empty and mine is mostly full. DAMN!

Normally that's the question I end up asking anyone that drinks with me. It was so shocking to hear someone else say that to me. The Bartender D and Fritz both shockingly stated looked down the bar at us and commented on how that, "has NEVER happened before." DAMN!

Then to make matters worse, he did it to me four more times.

I was off of my game. I'd like to say it was because I was sick, but that never stopped me in the past. Maybe it was because I was talking, but I have mastered the drink and talk. I just don't know.

That makes my score 9,723,459,234,598,723,459,872,349,875 to 4

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Eh, home again today. Things are starting to get better. I won't go into the details since many of you complained yesterday, but I will tell you that my arse is no longer a fire hose, it's more like a watery play-do fun factory.

Anyways I need to run to the store to pick up some supplies to last the day. I've drank all the water already and I'm not about to dehydrate myself. Oh, and maybe I should get some beer. If I'm going to have beer sqats, I might as well drink the beer too!

Posted by: Contagion at 11:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I woke up this morning, put on one of my nice suits and was getting ready to hit the bathroom to do my hair. All of a sudden a siring pain shot across my abdomen and there was a very urgent pressure on my sphincter. Rapidly I waddled the five steps to the bathroom. I really did not want to redecorate the inside of my suit.

Ktreva is in the bathroom doing her hair. Grabbing my abdomen I urgently say, "I'm sorry, but I really need to use the bathroom." She gets out and I have enough time to get my pants down and start to squat over the thrown when the flood gates opened. A sound much like that of a fire hose spraying into a swimming pool is heard through out the house.

The whole time It felt like my body was trying to push my entire digestive tract out my arse. Severe cramping and pain continued for at least 20 minutes. Finally when everything settled down not only was I physically exhausted, but all that abdominal cramping gave me a nice set of six pack abs. Well, okay that may be a slight exaggeration but I do feel like I did 100 sit ups.

The decision was made that I shall not be going to work today. The last thing I need is a repeat performance of this in the middle of a meeting, which I had three today. Plus I don't think any amount of dry cleaning would remove the power self-enema spray from a suit. I'd have to throw it away and buy another.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:01 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 271 words, total size 1 kb.