Since my surgery I have to go in about once every 6-8 weeks for follow up treatments. This consists of them giving me a local and then shoving the largest damn needle I've ever seen into my stomach. Where I get to sit for 10-20 minutes while a pocket of fluid is drained. Not by them pulling it out with the needle, but letting gravity do the work.

It's fun... in that I get to gross people out with pictures kind of way. Especially those that are afraid of needles that make coffee stir sticks seem tiny. Other ways its a royal pain in the... abdomen. So now I sit and am sore and very uncomfortable. I also am not allowed to eat anything for 24 hours, and I have to go in with an empty stomach. Fortunately the discomfort makes eating not that big of an issue.

On the flip side I also really can't drink anything more than water and some juices. Thus there will be no beer review again this week. I'm sorry. I know that makes two weeks in a row. I really need to make up for it. So I will do what I can.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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No beer review tonight my fine readers. Unfortunately I've been stricken with the flu and am just getting over it, I do not feel like tempting the fates tonight. I will either do it tomorrow or Friday.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I've been back to work a week and a half, and boy am I tired. Things are going okay, but I never realized how tiring it is sit at a desk.

I had to return to the doctor today. She likes the way things are going and cleared me for the weekend to go to the Fort Obie re-enactment. I still have all kinds of physical restrictions, but she said as long as I don't do anything too physical, strain myself or over do it, I should be fine.

Of course, due to an injection given to me with a needle longer than my hand jabbed into my stomach. Yea, I have pictures if you want to see my pasty white belly with a really big needle sticking out of it! She wasn't too thrilled with me taking a picture while she was doing the procedure. But hey, those that know me, know that I don't care. Anyway because of that I had to be on fluids only for 24 hours. Which really sucks, because I was just starting to get used to things that didn't taste like fruit, chocolate or vanilla.

Either way, things will start getting back to normal hopefully in a couple of months.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Well, they wonÂ’t let me have beer yet. It looks like IÂ’ll be able to move up sometime around the 10th or 11th. As much as I was looking forward to rekindling my love of beer this week, it looks like IÂ’m going to have to postpone for a while longer. Hey, itÂ’s better to be safe than sorry. IÂ’ll be honest, itÂ’s starting to get hard to resist though. I do love my beer.

I also returned to work this week. Wow, that was much more difficult than I anticipated. I figured I had been sitting around the house doing nothing but playing on a computer; I might as well go back to work and do it. So I returned a couple of weeks early with the doctorÂ’s blessing. The first day wasnÂ’t so bad. I was tired and a little sore at the end of it, but I felt okay. Tuesday was a little harder. The fatigue and soreness presented itself much earlier in the day.

Yesterday was awful. I woke up sore and tired, the whole time I was at work I was sore and I even took some Tylenol while I was there to help reduce the discomfort. I generally do not like taking pain killers, even as weak as aspirin, but I needed something to help me to be more comfortable. Fortunately I was able to leave early so I could rest and take it easy.

This morning when I woke up, I felt fine. The soreness had gone away. I was still tired, even with going to bed early. This whole sleeping on my back thing is difficult. IÂ’ve always slept on my side or stomach, and I just canÂ’t do that right now. If it doesnÂ’t start hurting right away, it does after a while. Hence I end up lying on my back again.

IÂ’m really ready for all of this to go away so I can get back to feeling normal, but I have a feeling that there will be months of this left before I get back to that point in my life.

Posted by: Contagion at 01:14 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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ItÂ’s been a while since IÂ’ve updated everyone, I thought I should take the time to let you all know what is going on. Things are progressing well. IÂ’m actually recovering ahead of schedule and the Doctor is going to let me return to work on Monday. This is a good and a bad thing. I really donÂ’t want to go to work, but I also am really starting to get bored off of my arse at home. There is only so many cheesy movies I can watch in a day. IÂ’ve see some movies that I havenÂ’t seen in a long time.

If I could stand to be off of work longer, I would, but it will be nice to get back to some resemblance of normal. IÂ’m still going to have issues for a long time, but I wonÂ’t be in as much pain and discomfort.

Speaking of pain and discomfort, I still have quite a bit of discomfort. The only time I have pain is when I do something stupid. Like say jumping out of bed in the middle of the night or because the Packers intercepted a ball. (yea, that one really hurt).

I have a re-enactment this weekend, but based on the DoctorÂ’s and more importantly, KtrevaÂ’s orders I wonÂ’t be attending. ThatÂ’s another one thatÂ’s gone bust. In two more weeks I have Fort Obie, hopefully by then IÂ’ll get he clearance to go.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:03 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I was given the go to start eating pureed food today. YAY!!!!! For those of you that are not sure what pureed food is like, think baby food. yeah, I made the same face too.

On the list of acceptable pureed foods, was scrambled eggs (with out having to actually have to pureeing them in a blender). Thus I had scrambled eggs for breakfast. Man, did those taste good! Clone and I got into a little debate over how to eat eggs. See, I like my scrambled eggs with Ketchup on them, he thought that was disgusting and had no problem making a face demonstrating his oppinion. He then followed up with telling EXACTLY how he thought about it. Clone, "Dad, that's disgusting! Ketchup doesn't go on eggs, it goes on hot dogs!"

For lunch I tried something different. I pureed myself some tuna. Yea... pureed tuna salad. Commence to making icky faces now. To be honest, after four weeks of eating nothing but protein shakes, jello and broth... it was fantastic! A little bit of onion, tuna, fat free mayo... a ton of salt and pepper, pureed and strained... Fantastic. If only I could have had crackers, it would have made an excellent dip!

Tonight's dinner, pureed buffalo chicken! That's right... I'm pureeing Buffalo Chicken. Don't you judge me!!!!!

So with all this pureed food, I'm curious. What do you think of Ketchup on your eggs?

Posted by: Contagion at 11:14 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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When Ktreva came home from work, she asked me who brought over the Green Bay Packer Metal Helmet decoration on the front porch. I had no idea what she was talking about. She went out and brought it back in, it's a very nice silhouette of a football helmet with the Green Bay Packer logo on it.

I'm at a complete loss. I had no idea anyone stopped by. I've been home all day. I can' drive, I didn't leave the house. So unless it was at a time that I went to the bathroom, I'm not sure who it would have been.

They didn't leave a card or a tag or anything identifying who it is.

So, to whomever... Thanks!

Posted by: Contagion at 05:30 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Following the doctor's orders, I was able to remove the outer bandages from my incisions today. It looks like I was in a really bad knife fight... and lost. There are six separate incisions across my abdomen. Removing the outer bandages, I had to leave the steri-strips in place. That was easier said than done.

The other big step is that I can advance from clear liquids today. I get to go back to non-clear liquids like protein shakes! Wait, I've developed a hatred of protein shakes. That's okay, they aren't fruit flavored, thus they are better than juice and condensed rubber Jello that Ktreva made. (Thank god for premade jello cups!) Things should start getting a little better. I'll slowly start graduating into more and more solid food. I do believe the next big step in a week is baby food.

BLECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now my abdomen itches like crazy. I just want to scratch at it, but I can't. So I'm going to sit here and try not to think of what feels like a dozen tiny ants crawling over my stomach.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Okay, let me preface this story by saying that I feel absolutely wonderful today. Still some discomfort and nothing solid coming out, but physically and mentally I feel FANTASTIC! My mood is at the highest it's been in months and I actually feel like going out and having some fun.

That, however, is not what this post is about. My wife is many things, but a wonderful cook is not one of them. Don't get me wrong, she has some items she makes that no one can compete with, Scotch Eggs, Biscuits and Gravy, Deer Pot Roast, Ballindalloch Chicken, and a few more. I generally do the majority of the cooking in the house. When she has to cook, most of the time it's boxed or ready made meals.

With me being down she has to do some cooking, and one of the items that I can eat is Sugar Free Jello. She picked up packages of it for me and made 4-5 different kinds on Monday. When I went to eat some.... it was tough. It didn't want to cut with the spoon.

Then when I finally was able to get a bite sized portion of it, it needed to be chewed. I'm not talking about the mashing it up with your tongue chewing, I mean I had to use my teeth to actually break it up. Normally with Jello I just mash it between my teeth with my tongue, but this stuff was resistant! My overly sharp molars were having trouble breaking this stuff up into smaller bits. It was like chewing steak fat, peach flavored steak fat! MMMmmmm, peachy steak fat!

I tried letting it set out so it can warm up and possibly soften, that failed. I tried mashing it up with a spoon before putting it in my mouth. That failed. Nothing seemed to work.

Ktreva is upset because it turned out bad. Yes, she knows I'm posting about it. She's urging me not to eat it until she can make more. I'm not actually sure what is going to be different the next time. Until then, I need to eat it as I really don't have anything else... and the fridge is filled with various flavors of Ktreva rubber Jello.

So if anyone stops by and see's me chewing on something. Trust me, it's just the hardest damn Jello this side of Atlantic.

Posted by: Contagion at 11:34 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Day three has been interesting. There is pretty much no pain. However, I have a lot of discomfort, first and foremost is gas pains. I haven't had anything even remotely close to solid to eat. Not even a protein shake. I have, however, had juice to drink. Which can't be helping my digestive tract issues.

Well I can also feel gas moving through my colon. And that isn't pleasant. To make maters even more complicated. Every 8 seconds I feel like I need to pass gas, I really need to run to the bathroom, because if I don't, I'm just going to end up having liquid colon squeezings running down my leg. That means I have to hold a lot of this gas in until I can get to the bathroom. Yea, that's not comfortable at all.

On top of everything Ktreva and the Boys can hear the gas moving through me. It's rather loud!

Well, I guess this is better than pain.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:22 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Okay, I have to sleep sitting up, so I just decided to sleep in my big comfy recliner downstairs. I didn't sleep too well, thus I am sure I will be dozing on and off all day. I also had a new and interesting side effect last night.

They gave me anti-constipation medication just in case I don't have a bowel movement in 48 hours. I hadn't taken any, but at 4:30 this morning I the exact opposite problem of constipation. I woke up and felt gas moving through my colon. Then I blew arse. Okay, bowels are moving, that's a good sign. A couple seconds later I thought I was going to blow arse again, but instead it felt, uh... fuller. so I got up as fast as I could and made my way to the bathroom.

I had just made it to the toilet when the flood gates of hell opened up and I drained what seemed like a gallon of liquid sewage. It came out with enough force that I do believe that I was lifted off of the toilet by about an inch. I could have shite through a strainer and not hit the wire.

It's been a constant painful waddle to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so.

I think I'd prefer the constipation.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:34 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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at home, a lot of discomfort. I'm doing fine. More updates tomorrow, need to rest.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:55 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Well I've been on this all liquid died for 10 days now. I'm so tired of it, words can't describe. I'm about to drink my last fluids for a while. As tomorrow morning at 8 AM I am having my surgery.

I'm a bit anxious.

I've known this was coming for a while, but to be sitting here the night before, less than 10 hours away from the surgery itself is a little surreal. I've been preparing for this for just short of a year. I guess I just never thought the day would ever come. The mix of emotions right now is really strange.

I'm not going to say I'm not afraid, because that would be a lie, but I'm scared for multiple reasons, some that you may never guess. No, I'm not going into all of them. I'm also wondering what my quality of life will be like after this. How long will I be stuck on this all liquid diet? Will I ever be able to drink a beer again? What if I don't wake up?

I'm exhausted, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. but I guess I should go try.

I'll post an updated tomorrow evening. Or have Ktreva do it.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:30 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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So I've been on this liquid diet for 8 days now. Yes, I'm grumbly, shut the heck up! I understand how the human body works, especially the digestive tract, but I'm still confused on a couple of things.

Okay, I'm taking approx 700- 800 calories a day, yet I still shite the same amount... Go figure. I know that being on a liquid diet does not mean I'm not going to have proper colon function, but seriously the same quantity? That just doesn't seem right.

Secondly, where the hell did the corn come from???? I haven't eaten solid food for 8 days. I haven't had corn for a week before that. Where the hell did the corn in my excrement long ship come from? I'm not even talking one kernel. It looked like I ate an ear of corn!

And before any of you smart alecs make a comment, no I'm not trying to absorb nutrients anally, thus I am not using corn as a suppository!

Posted by: Contagion at 09:05 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Okay, the reason behind my hiatus is that I'm having a lot of health issues that have accumulated into me having to have surgery on Monday. To prep myself for the surgery on my digestive tract, I am on an all liquid diet. Basically all I can "eat" is: Protein shakes, water, tea, skim milk, tomato juice, jello, broth, kool aid and that about sums it up. No carbonation whatsoever! I'm also supposed to limit my alcohol, to basically none.

I've been on this since last Friday. Let me tell you something, This really farooking sucks! Let me tell you why.

A) I'm tired of drinking my meals. I mean, seriously, my teeth are aching to bite into something. Seriously, when they first told me I'd have to live like this for 1-2 months, I thought it wouldn't be that hard. Well, I'm about at the point of killing someone because of it. This is going to be hell.

2) I've never been a huge fan of sweets. I've never really gone goo goo for candy, sweets, deserts, etc. All the damn protein shakes I have to drink all come in only a handful of flavors Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry or some variation of those. I haven't found anything else. I would kill for a BBQ or cheeseburger protein shake right now. Before someone suggests I make my own, it's not an option. I have to stick to the pre-made or powdered mixes. Nothing additional. Oh, by the way for those of you that are drinking these things for what ever weight loss diet you might be doing, The Slim Fast Optima Cappuccino Delight is anything but a Delight. Seriously, I about spit it out on one of my employees after taking a drink

D) Everywhere I turn people are eating real food! I'm constantly hungry and even foods I hate are smelling good. Thus I'm starting to get real grouchy. I got mad at Ktreva last night because she was eating a Pork chop in front of me. I hate pork chops. Hell, they where even giving away free sandwiches from Jimmy John's at work today. I'm trying really hard to deal with it, but it's getting really, really hard to control myself.

I don't dare cheat, if I do it could cause complications during the surgery. After the surgery it could cause complications that could lead to death. I just need to buck down and follow the doctor's orders.

Because of all of this, I really am getting grouchy. I'm farooking sick and tired of people pointing out to me that I'm grouchy or asking me what's wrong or why I'm not talking. I'm trying not to take it out on the people around me, but when they continue to ask and/or point out that I'm grouchy, it's not helping. I know I'm grouchy, quit pointing it out. If you where in my place, you would be too. If you say you wouldn't, you are lying to me and yourself.

Today has been the worst of it so far. I'm hungry, what I can "eat", ie drink is stuff I don't want. So I'm just sitting back and trying to deal with everything.

It's going to be a long two months.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:09 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Unfortunately my health issues have taken it's toll and I'm going to have to take an even larger hiatus. I will not be able to physically do a beer review for at least 2-3 months minimum. Sorry.

I will still be around, I will put up a post every now and then to update my status.

To my friends: Please check your e-mail. I sent many of you a message with some more details. If you didn't get it, check your spam filter. Apparently I get marked as spam a lot.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:43 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Anyone that has met me knows that I'm a rather hairy man. As I've aged, unlike most of my friends, I've gained more hair. I haven't lost any. Let's compound this with the fact that my hair tends to be course and wiry. I've worn out multiple trimmers, clippers and electric razors over the years. After I've trimmed my facial hair, I've run my hands through my goatee and come away with hair slivers.

To make matters worse, this hair is growing out of my nose this way. I used to joke that I didn't have a mustache, I just combed my nasal hair into one. Unfortunately I often did use my mustache to hide my nasal hair. I used to trim it, even when it would wear out my trimmer. Then a couple of months ago, my trimmer disappeared.

My nose hair started growing at an alarming rate. I had to do something about it when one day one of the hairs was so long, I could almost chew on it. So I did the only thing I could think of doing, I started plucking my nose hairs out.

Sure it hurt at first. After the first couple of weeks, I started getting used to it. Now it doesn't bother me at all. Well, okay, occasionally I grab one that is well rooted and it hurts, but most of the time it doesn't.

Ktreva is upset over this. She doesn't want me yanking my nose hairs out one or two at a time. She wants me to buy another trimmer that will wear out. I figure I can keep this up and it won't cost me a thing. What really bothers her is that I do it while riding in the van or while watching TV. So she watches me do it, and it causes her to squirm and hold her own nose and pain.

My thing is that it doesn't harm her any. I'm not yanking her nasal hairs out, just my own. She has asked me to stop, but honestly, I think it's easier.

What do you all think, should I stop or should I continue?

Posted by: Contagion at 07:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As the rain slowly fell today, all I can think about is how I would rather be camping right now. IÂ’d rather be huddled under a rain fly and trying to keep a campfire burning than having spent my entire day at work.

IÂ’m grateful that I have a job right now, especially one that could be considered a steady position. Yet at the same time I keep thinking about just how much I get no satisfaction, joy or sense of being from it. Seriously, most of the time I view my duties as being boring, redundant and less than stimulating. IÂ’ve actually lost any amount of caring I had about the company that employees me. At one time, I actually cared and tried to do whatÂ’s best for them, now I just donÂ’t care.

IÂ’d start an earnest attempt at procuring new avenues of employment, but thanks to the severely bad management of this country by its elected officials, government appointees, and the citizenry that failed to remove them from those positions, we have an economy that really is unfriendly toward the job seeker. The only joy I take in life right now is my family and friends, but I feel for my friends because so many (too many) of them are feeling the crunch of this insipid economy.

The few things I enjoy in life, I just couldnÂ’t make a living on, even if the economy was better. My hobbies are ones that in general cost money, not make it. Unfortunately I do not think they have a job for the drinking re-enactor that likes to barbeque while shooting, camping and watching movies. If they do, someone please point me in the right direction. I really need a change of scenery.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The second annual Miasmatic Review Beer tasting is in the books, and I feel it was a success. There were some good beers drank, and some beers that I think people are glad they got to try so they know not to buy them in the future. I didn't do scores like last year, because this is a beer tasting, not a review. My goal was to let people experience and taste new beers for themselves, inspire discussion about the beers and let them feel free to form their own opinions. Where as by having everyone score it, I think it may have put pressure on people last year.

The beers we tasted were:
Flight one: Czech Pilsners
Pilsner Urquell
Kursovice Imperial
Staropramen

Flight Two: Beers by Bell's Brewery
Lager of the Lakes (American Pale Lager)
Amber Ale (American Amber/Red Ale)
Oberon Ale (American Pale Wheat)

Flight Three: American Porters
Anchor Porter
Founders Porter
New World Porter

Bonus Flight: Mystery beer!
I did a blind tasting. Basically I obscured all information about the beer we were tasting and the point was to see if anyone could tell me what kind of beer it was. The person that got the closest to the Name of the Beer, type of beer and where it was brewed would win a prize. The beer for this was Xingu by Cervejaria Sul Brasileira in Brazil. It's a schwarzbier (Black Lager). The winner was Shadoglare who guessed Black Lager, he came the closest.

Just for the record, this is a very difficult task. Identifying a beer you may or may of had in the past just by taste is not something that most people could do. I've been put in this position before and failed miserably. The closest I've gotten was the type of beer.

So what did Shadoglare win? If you remember I had a surprise. I officially announced the soon arrival of the Miasmatic Review Enabler Glasses, Shadoglare won the first one. It's a 20 oz imperial pub pint with the logo shown, only in dark green, and with a 22k gold band around the rim. When a reader has donated a total of 12 beers that I review, I well show my appreciation by giving them one of these glasses. For being closest to what the beer was, Shadoglare has earned himself one of these glasses.

For those that were in attendance, I served them a Bacon Explosion and smoked Pork Chops for dinner. From the feedback I received, I think the Bacon Explosion was a big hit. I only made two, I may have wanted to make four. It was a huge success.

I'm planning right now on having the 3rd Annual Beer tasting in 2010 again on Memorial Day weekend. I hope to have more people in attendance next year. We had eleven people, including myself, that were actually participating in the tasting. There were others that were around just for the observation or to socialize. I would like to thank Harvey, Graumagus, Bruce, Shadoglare, Labgirl, Wes, Petey, Wil, Red and of course KTreva for participating in this years event. With out all of you, this would have been just me sitting in the backyard drinking beer by myself. An extra special thanks goes to Ktreva for all of her help, support and hard work in the last couple of months getting this all put together.

Hope to see you all there!

Posted by: Contagion at 01:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A woman is driving down the street, alone in her car. I can see her crying as I pull along side her. Not the gentle tears of joy or a mild weeping, but the chest heaving crying of someone that is in true emotional pain. Her entire body convulsing with each sob, her makeup running with tears as it flows down the curvature of her cheeks like a hard rain over a statue.

At the stop light I try not to stare, but curiosity is a cruel mistress and I sit and wonder, “What has happened to this woman to put her in such a fragile state of emotion? Why is she crying?” The whole time I am glancing over occasionally and seeing her hug the steering while for comfort. Occasionally waves of anger come over her and I watch as she strikes the roof, door and dashboard with clenched fist.

Pain, sorrow, anger, fear.

At some time each of us has been in the same situation as the woman in the car. Whether we display it for the whole world to see, share it only with close friends or keep it bottled up inside, we have been there. An emotional torment that just has to be dealt with in our own personal way or it will wash over us like a tidal wave over a beach. Destroying whatÂ’s in its path.

I can only imagine what situation or situations have occurred to bring this woman to this state. IÂ’ve never seen her before, and I doubt I will ever again. What I do know is that I felt for her. For anything that would drive her to such a state would have to have been truly horrible. I found myself hoping that she was heading to a friend or a loved oneÂ’s house for at least a small sum of comfort, as opposed to the cold reality of a job.

Me, I finished my drive to work and thought not of her again until my drive home. On my way home I started looking at the lone drivers in the cars and trucks around me. Wondering to myself, “What are they thinking? What emotional state are they in?” Are they just a stray thought away from an emotional outburst or are they so devoid of emotion, so focused on the task at hand, that they wouldn’t provide an emotional outburst no matter what happened? Most likely they were some place between the two emotional extremes.

I donÂ’t know why I wondered these things. IÂ’m not even sure why I was fascinated with the lady this morning. Why today did I decide to take a glimpse in the fish bowl that is life? Was there a deep seeded need for me to observe my fellow man that had to be satisfied? Did curiosity finally overwhelm me enough to start wanting to reconnect with a part of society I started to detach from about 16 years ago? Back when I dealt with some of the worst people humanity had to offer. When I witnessed just how cruel and unforgiving people can be to each other.

These are all questions that I may never find an answer.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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