Just a little update for anyone who is curious about my medical conditions. My medication is starting to fail at exponential rates, foods have gotten more and more difficult to handle. Water has caused such a flair up yesterday that I was contemplating giving up any liquid intake all together. My next appointment is in a couple of weeks.

I actually took enough prescription and over the counter medication to stop all digestive movement in my bowels for two days. IE I wasnÂ’t hungry because nothing was digesting, which left another unpleasant feeling of a giant gut bomb. The only thing that seems to keep my stomach under control is Jack DanielÂ’s. Right now you are probably shaking your head in disbelief much like Ktreva and two doctors IÂ’m seeing. Look, I canÂ’t explain it. I donÂ’t know why, I donÂ’t know how but if my stomach is acting up and I drink about three fingers of Jack, it calms down and all is well with the world. The problem is that IÂ’m not allowed to drink at work.

My employees have actually started to notice something is up and have asked some questions with out breaching company policy. ItÂ’s nice to know that they are either concerned or are faking it in a misguided belief that itÂ’s protecting their jobs. Either way it makes me feel like IÂ’m doing some good there.

But now we get to the point of the title. Tonight at the store I ran through the liquor department to pick up some “medicine” (Aka Jack Daniel’s). While I was passing the refrigerator case I notice a six pack of Bass Ale sitting there calling my name. Other then my weekly beer review, I haven’t had much beer. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. I bought the six-pack and have been drinking on it for about 2 hours now.

Sure, this might be a bad idea, but I donÂ’t care. I like my beer!

Posted by: Contagion at 08:06 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Just don't dump any down the drain, you bastard.

Hope this shit clears up

Posted by: That 1 Guy at August 31, 2006 08:52 PM (8pWv9)

2 You mean like that half a case of Amber Bock because no one I knew would drink it?

Posted by: Contagion at August 31, 2006 09:01 PM (0m/ho)

3 I hate to say it, but I wonder if you should call your doctor back and let him know that you just can't eat and the meds aren't working at all. I know you like Jack... but you need a little more in the way of sustenance or you'll just keel over one day.

I'm hoping the beer stays put - at least it has B vitamins in it.

Posted by: Teresa at August 31, 2006 09:02 PM (o4pJS)

4 Oh good God. I hope that you are feeling better soon!

Posted by: Richmond at August 31, 2006 09:27 PM (e8QFP)

5 DUDE. Go to the doctor. Do not pass go. If you are that fucked up in the gut, and the meds aren't helping you NEED to go in a lot sooner than in a couple of weeks.

If you're not eating or passing waste you could have some serious shit happen FAST. Especially if you're also not drinking enough water....

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 01, 2006 12:06 AM (r0kgl)

6 Dude I drink Amber Bock all the time - I don't remember any free offers for a half case of it being out there
And honestly the Jack is probably hurting more than helping overall - the alcohol is probably just working as some kinda numbing agent.

Posted by: Shadoglare at September 01, 2006 06:52 AM (QLQ2w)

7 Maybe you should go to a different doc.
Something is amiss.

We want you around here for a long time.
M'kay?

Posted by: jimmyb at September 01, 2006 11:36 AM (D4G2Y)

8 Eh, you folks worry way too much about nothing.

Posted by: Contagion at September 01, 2006 04:20 PM (0m/ho)

9 Even if Shadoglare didn't drink the stuff, Richmond does. You didn't even offer to them... you were so intent on hurting me.

*sniff*

Posted by: t1g at September 01, 2006 06:36 PM (A3OUN)

10 The beer is good. It counts as "bread," right?

Posted by: Ogre at September 06, 2006 10:24 AM (oifEm)

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All right, there are just enough people out there that know about a secret IÂ’ve been keeping that I feel I might as well just talk about it. Ever since I was in College IÂ’ve had persistent ulcers. Treated with medication it was under control. There were still certain things I couldnÂ’t eat because it would cause a flair up, but nothing serious. In June I started having more persistent problems as well as acid reflux. I would vomit for no good reason and occasionally there was blood in it.

Being the stubborn arse that I am, I just put it off to ulcers. That was until after vacation when the constant heart burn, acid reflux and vomiting went of for weeks. I finally went to the doctor to have it checked out. Not being one that likes to be kept in the dark, I asked my doctor what it was and of course his answer was that it was too soon to tell. I figured that much out, but I needed to know best and worst case. He told me that the best case is that I have a really bad ulcer that is going to need immediate attention. The worst case was a malignant neoplasm of the stomach. I had all the symptoms and side effects. For those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s the big “C”, Cancer.

Just this week I went in for another follow up. I was told that he had good news and bad news. (Of course… there’s always good and bad news isn’t there?). Bad news, it’s definitely not ulcers. The good news is that there is a 99% chance it’s not cancer. Then he hit me with, “But we still don’t know what is causing the problem.” I’ve been put on a very restrictive diet for almost a month now, and I’m still having problems. I’m scheduled to have an exploratory procedure done in September so they can get a better look at my innards.

The occasional beer is okay, but if I drink more then a couple I know IÂ’m in for a night of pain and vomiting. However, my wife and my doctor find it strange that when I drink Jack DanielÂ’s I have no pain, no discomfort and no side effects. Thus IÂ’m sticking to my guns by saying that Jack Daniels to me, is like Spinach to Popeye.

Now I could lie and say that IÂ’m not scared. Frankly folks, IÂ’m still worried. I have a family that I have to take care of and I want to see the boys grow up and actually be able to meet my grandkids. Death doesnÂ’t scare me, but no one looking out for my family does.

IÂ’m not looking for sympathy, and frankly I really donÂ’t want any. I figure this is the karmic wheel paying me back for some of the shit I pulled in my younger days. I just needed to get if off my chest. I needed to write it down, just to get it off my chest.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:15 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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Sorry, We just got back from the Galesburg Heritage festival. IÂ’ll fill you all in later, right now IÂ’m tired. But I will share some tidbits with you, tomorrow when I post on it, youÂ’ll hear about Contagion the model, Threatening to shoot the public, the tallest submariner in the world, goats (Goats?!), and a lot of fun.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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ItÂ’s nice making friends with people that work the gun counters in sporting goods stores. Besides the obvious reasons of discounts and inside tracks on firearms and ammo, you get the benefit of being the test subject for new products.

I had been visiting a local sporting goods store for a while now perusing their shooting supplies, buying ammo and just generally talking to the counter guys about various things… like, “How come you’re so much cheaper then that other big name sporting good store in town?â€� Today I go in and the guy working the counter sees me and waves me over. He pulls out a box of .38 ammo and says, “My supplier is trying to get us to start carrying this ammo. I don’t have any experience with it. I’ll give you a box if you test it and tell me what you think.â€�

Well hell yeah! IÂ’m gonna take a free 50 rounds of .38 special full metal jacketed ammunition. He goes back to the stock room and brings out this box. I look at it, and start to have second thoughts. Why? 90% of the writing on the box is in Spanish! Aguila Ammunition. .38 especial. Cartuchos de fuego centrat. Detonador Non-Corr/Non-Corr Priming Mantengase fuera del alcance de los ninos! But the price was right and I couldnÂ’t pass it up.

So if any of you out there know anything about Aguila Ammunition, let me know. Other ways IÂ’m going to find out first hand this weekend.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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All right, itÂ’s Friday night, IÂ’m home, and I have this brand new Jack Daniels dispenser IÂ’ve been aching to try out. So we all know what that means. Yes, Mr. Contagion has been drinking. Before I go into too much detail, IÂ’ve had a couple of people ask me exactly what it is that I bought.

Duh, itÂ’s a Jack DanielÂ’s dispenser! Think beer taper, except itÂ’s for hard liquor. You place a bottle in it and when you open the valve it pours you a perfectly measured drink. Well, at least that was what I was told. Anyone that has seen me drink Jack knows that what is perfectly measured for me, and what is perfectly measured for everyone else is two different things.

Now of course I could have gotten one of the many new fangled pre-measure pour spoutsÂ… but what fun is that?!?! This is pretty much the same thing, except that the holder is made from a barrel they actually used to make Jack DanielÂ’s. Thus this is better, the fact that itÂ’s signed by the Jimmy Bedford, head distiller of Jack DanielÂ’s, makes it a shrine in this house.

Well after reading about Bloodspite trying to base jump with out a chute and Quality Weenie being down on her luck, I figured it was time to break her in and have a drink or twelve for them. Hey itÂ’s my liver and IÂ’ll do what I want! Plus I've had the pleasure, nay the honor of meeting both of them, I feel it's my civic duty! Crap, glass is emptyÂ… IÂ’ll be right back. Okay backÂ… sorry. Anyway, so I popped the olÂ’ bottle in and decided I needed to figure out how much it pours when the valve is opened.

The answer is about 1.2 ounces or 35 Ml. Now, whoever made this contraption is a little off. Depending on where you go, a standard shot is 1 to 1.5 ounces. ItÂ’s usually closer to 1 ounce. Where the hell did they come up with 1.2 ounces? Eh, who cares, ItÂ’s not like I drink it by the shot anyway. IÂ’ll just hit the valve three times and be happy.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I assure you it wasn't a willing sport to start undertaking

And in answer to your question yea, teansion induced rapid deceleration feels like someone grabbing your spinal cord at about 50 mph. I hurt like raccoon thats been wrastlin a armadillo all night.

Save some for me dammit!

Posted by: BloodSpite at August 05, 2006 07:19 AM (i81Vx)

2 Sounds like a good idea to me! (But how does it feel today??)

Posted by: Richmond at August 05, 2006 09:17 AM (e8QFP)

3 Ah, but do you have the special bottle with the upside-down label?

Posted by: Ogre at August 08, 2006 07:33 AM (/k+l4)

4 Gawd, you sound like me on tequila.

Posted by: tink at August 10, 2006 02:22 PM (wi/sM)

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