This morning I left the house to go to work. Ktreva had to drive down state, so it was just the boys and I. Not having driven my truck in the last 3 days there was quite a bit of snow on my windshield. At least I thought it was snow. When I went to brush it off it didnÂ’t move. There was no snow there, just a three inch thick chunk of ice that covered my entire windshield.

The truck was running, so the defrost could help me clear the windshield. Both boys where secured in their seats watching in fascination as Dad started an educational journey of new vocabulary and dress shoes on ice. For twenty minutes I battled the ice. It would not give way to the scraper. The height of my truck didnÂ’t help either. IÂ’m not a tall man. With great difficulty could I effectively reach the center of my windshield to scrape off the ice.

Meanwhile my boys are sitting inside of the now warm cab laughing and snickering at me. Clone learned a new word (I guess my voice carries over the sound of the engine and through closed doors). Since I am in polite company I will not repeat such vulgarities. Unfortunately, I forgot that courtesy when the children were present. Needless to say on the way to the sitters I was regaled with a chorus of chanted vulgarities that is only mildly amusing when coming from the mouth of a soon to be three year old. No matter how many times I told me not to say, “Those naughty words” he would just keep chanting them.

Of course Boopie was of no help. He was too busy laughing at me. Where Clone missed what happened to bring on such colorful language, Boopie was able to see the performance. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me just say now that I have lived in Northern Illinois for the vast majority of my life. I know how to handle the snow and icy conditions. Unfortunately, in my anger frustration, I forgot that leather soled dress shoes do not provide for the best of winter weather traction. While throwing my entire body into cleaning the windshield, my feet slipped on the ice. What must have appeared to be something out of a movie, I flew into the air landing on my back in the ice encrusted snow along the driveway. From there it must have looked like a business man in an overcoat was trying to make snow angels.

No worries, IÂ’m not injured. Other then a slight bruising of my pride, all is well. ItÂ’s just not how I wanted to start a day.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:02 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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Over at BasilÂ’s Blog, he has a post up about how he saved money when he was in the military by using the same brand of deodorant and razor as his wife at the time. I canÂ’t say IÂ’ve used either Secret deodorant or a Lady Bic disposable razor. Thanks to his post, he did bring back a painful memory for me.

When I first started growing facial hair I only had to shave about once a week before it was noticeable. I would just use my fatherÂ’s electric razor and everything was okay. Occasionally I would use his razor and shaving cream to trim up around the side burns where the hair was the thickest. Even as time went on and I had to shave more often, IÂ’d just use my fatherÂ’s electric or manual razor. Not once did I think to ask to borrow my fatherÂ’s shaving supplies, thus my parents had no idea that I had started shaving, until one painful weekend.

My parents went away for the weekend leaving me at home alone. Having decided that I needed to shave, I headed off to my parents bathroom. Much to my chagrin I discovered that my father had taken both his electric shaver and manual razor with him. I was looking kind of scruffy. Well to be honest I was as scruffy as a teenage high school boy can get. Looking in the mirror, IÂ’m scruffier now and I shaved this morning. My facial hair seems to grow at an alarming rate.

Anyway, I felt for sure that my father had to have something for me to shave with hidden away in his bathroom, an emergency back up razor, some sample packs of a disposable or anything. Not one shaving item was found. In frustration I started going through my mother’s stuff looking for a razor. Still I was unable to find one. Then I ran across something she had bought to shave her legs, and epilady epilator. I see this and think to myself, “If it will remove the hair from legs, it will remove hair from my face.”

Well, I wasnÂ’t far from wrong. It removed the hairÂ… and the skinÂ… and some underlying muscle. For those of you not familiar with what an epilady was at that time, itÂ’s like a coil of metal that comes out from a handle. The coil rotates, yanking hair and anything else it grabs onto off of the body. When I found that, I didnÂ’t realize that was how it worked.

After plugging in the hair removal device, I slide it down the side of my face like it was an electric razor. Every hair that it grabbed onto was yanked violently from my teenage face. Tears started forming in my eyes and tiny drops of blood started form on my cheek. Little squares of toilet paper were not going to cover this bloody mess. I grabbed a whole sheet of toilet paper and stuck it to my face, the blood instantly causing it to adhere in place. For three hours I walked around with a sheet of toilet paper soaked in my own blood stuck to my face. I was afraid if I peeled it off, IÂ’d start bleeding again.

When my parents returned home, the injury was very noticeable. They found out I had started shaving when I told them the story. My mother, who didnÂ’t laugh, proceeded to explain that was why she used it once and never again.

To this day IÂ’m real hesitant to use any product designed for a female, IÂ’m afraid of what it could do to me.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:05 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Today I received word that I am being passed on for a second interview. My charm and credentials outweighed the fact this is a lateral transfer and that I have a penis. (Remember, they tend to not like lateral transfers or promoting males here.) I am one of two finalists for the position.

The second interview is later this week, and I should know for sure by the end of next week. IÂ’m not sure how my friend did, I havenÂ’t asked her and I donÂ’t want to just in case she was rejected.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:01 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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