October 24, 2005
When I was younger I used to frequent Hard Times a lot, it was one of the few bars that actually played metal in Rockford. Until Saturday, I had not stepped foot in there for 8 years. That place has changed a lot over the last 8 years. It is still a metal bar, but the lay out of the place is completely different. Plus it wasnÂ’t as busy at it used to be, all night it never got crowded.
At this point, I would love to give you a review of the bands, but to be fair I cannot. It has nothing to do with how much I had been drinking; it has everything to do with the craptacular company the bar brought in to run the sound. The bands were supposed to start playing at 9:00 PM; however, they couldnÂ’t get the sound system to work properly until 10:45 PM. Even after the sound was working, they had the volumes on the channels messed up. The Bass guitar and drums completely drowned out the lead guitar, rhythm guitar, vocals and in one bad the keyboard. (BTW, just a hint to people that plays in metal/rock bands. KEYBOARDS DO NOT BELONG IN METAL/ROCK!)
Then they had the sound cranked so loud that you couldn’t even yell at the person next to you to convey your displeasure at the ineptitude of the sound crew. Imagine if you will, people in this small bar trying to listen to a band, consisting only of drums and a bass guitar being played deafeningly loud. I know the saying, “If it’s too loud, you’re too old”. Nah, when it’s so loud you are getting feedback echo, turn down the volume! When someone said something to the sound crew regarding the issues, they were promptly blown off with a, “We are being paid to do this, we know what we are doing!”
Before the bands started playing, I shot some pool with one of the guys, “C”. While growing up, I always had a pool table in our house, so you would think I’d be decent at it. Well I’m not! I don’t really like shooting pool, so I don’t play very often. “C” used to be in a pool league. I still won 4 out of 6 games. Three of those wins had nothing to do with skill, he scratched three times on the eight ball. In C’s defense, it wasn’t exactly him either. The table was warped and it leaned towards one of the corners. If you gently hit one of the balls, you could see the ball’s path curve with the table. Once we figured that out, we did make some beautiful shots that neither one of us normally would be able to make.
We all had a really good time, excluding the crappy sound and including me drunkenly rubbing my nipples and screaming, “Davey! We love you!” to make fun of some of the girls dancing at the foot of the stage. Any night that I end up buying myself Prairie Fire shots (Half Tequila and Half Tabasco) is a good night. The pickling of my brain made the Packers loss to the Vikings on Sunday a lot less painful.
Posted by: Contagion at
07:22 PM
| Comments (5)
| Add Comment
Post contains 604 words, total size 3 kb.
October 12, 2005
As soon as I saw the red and blue lights behind me, I looked down at my speedometer and knew I was busted. Fifty-six in a thirty-five. SHITE! My luck with talking my way out of tickets is legendary amongst people that know me. I’ve been pulled over 29 times in the last 8 years and only received speeding tickets 3 of those times. There was no way my luck was going to work with this, 21 over in a residential is a big ticket. Thinking to myself, “eh, what the hell, I’ll give it a shot. What’s the worst that’s going to happen; I get the ticket?” And this is how it went:
(Officer walks up to the truck, window rolled down prior to cop stepping out of his vehicle.)
Me: “Good morning, Officer. I’m sorry; I’m still getting used to driving this big truck and wasn’t paying attention. This is one ticket you won’t have to worry about showing up in court for.” (Hands firmly holding the steering wheel at the ten and two position the whole time I’m talking)
Officer, “You where going pretty fast. Can I see your license and proof on insurance?”
(License and insurance sitting on dashboard prior to officer leaving his vehicle)
Me: (Handing information to the officer and using my Law Enforcement Voice) “Sure, its clear valid, class D-David original, No restrictions, no stops, 1 conviction. It has not been run in Illinois in the last 12 months.”
(Cop and I look at each other; a look of recognition comes across both of our faces. This is not necessarily a good thing when dealing with the police. In this case it was a good thing.)
Officer: (looks at license) “Didn’t you used to work for the state?”
Me: “Yea, about 7 years ago.”
Officer: (Laughing) “I thought you looked familiar, we used to work together I’m (Name excluded for privacy)”
Me: (Laughing) “Holy shite! I didn’t recognize you. It’s been a long time. When did you transfer to the Rockford PD?”
Officer: “Three years ago. Are you still working as a citizen?”
(We spend 5 minutes catching up)
Officer: “You know I have to give you a ticket.”
Me: “I know you can use your discretion and not give me a ticket. If you feel that I made a mistake and will not repeat it, you can let me go.”
Officer: “Yea, we used to race each other on the way to work.”(Sarcastically)”Sure, you’ll never speed again.” (We lived in the same city and would travel the same route on our 45-minute commute to work)
Me: “Hey! I remember someone else starting those little races.”
Officer: (Laughing,) “All right, don’t let me catch you doing it again.”
Me: “I’ll be more careful, BTW I’ll race you to the next light!”
Officer: “I could just see the trouble I would get in if someone reported that to my supervisor.”
We bid each other farewell and I pulled out nice and carefully. I guess I just shouldnÂ’t underestimate my luck. Oh, and before you go trying this the next time you are pulled over remember two things. First, you have to have the right voice and tone inflections when giving your driving status and know what exactly is on there. If you are off just a little, it will NOT work. Secondly and more importantly, the only reason this worked was because I knew the cop. In all rights, I should have been slammed with a very large speeding ticket.
Oh, and yes everyone IÂ’ve told this to today is irritated that I was able to get out of this ticket.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:54 PM
| Comments (7)
| Add Comment
Post contains 741 words, total size 4 kb.
October 11, 2005
The other morning I left my house to head for work. My wife had left with the boys already, so I was by myself. As I approached my truck, I heard a growl from behind me. Then two more distinctly different growls joined in. There was something different about the growl, it was higher pitched then I am accustomed to. Quickly I turned to face my attackers. In the past, I have had to fight a dog before, itÂ’s painful and messy, but can be done easily enough.
Then I saw my attackers.
Three dogs, but not just any dogs, these where Chihuahuas. A pack of free roaming Chihuahuas straight from legend has invaded my neighborhood. All three of them were shaking like a crack fiend jonesing for their next fix. This time they picked the wrong prey. Looking down upon the obvious ringleader, the largest of the three dogs, I chuckle. These three must have had a serious Napoleon complex.
I turn to get into my truck when the three advance on me. WTF???? I have feet bigger then they are; are they hoping IÂ’m going to have a heart attack? Taking a few quick steps forward all three run in different directions. I just couldnÂ’t believe what was going on. Turning around to get into my truck, there is the leader and one of this cronies standing there. I can hear the other coming up behind me.
My amusement at the situation has waned. In my authoritative “I’m not happy” voice, I tell them, “I’ve eaten things bigger then you.” Still barking and growling, they move closer! Now my irritation at the situation has sparked an anger response in me. I try to kick one of these ankle biters. Missing as they all break and flee, I decide just to leave. Climbing into my truck, I can see they are still hanging around.
While I was backing out of the driveway, I’ll admit that I tried to run them over… and missed. Since my wife was already at work, and I wasn’t heading to the office, I called her to tell her the story. I also asked her to inform Animal Control that I was “Viciously attacked” by three Chihuahuas. I swear she fell out of her chair laughing! That’s love for you, I’m viciously attacked and she just laughs at me!
While driving a stray thought came to me, is this a new trend? Will packs of wild Chihuahuas start roaming the countryside in look of prey and to harass people? I sure hope so, free range Chihuahuas taste better then house kept ones.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:52 PM
| Comments (9)
| Add Comment
Post contains 506 words, total size 3 kb.
October 03, 2005
I donÂ’t celebrate my birthday. If someone gives me a gift, I tend to politely decline it and advise I donÂ’t celebrate my birthday. Crude comments and gestures were made to people that did wish me a happy birthday, especially friends that should know better. For years IÂ’ve hated my birthday, for the days leading up to it my stomach churns with dark bile of despair knowing that someone is going to try to do something. Then when the day comes, it generally is one of the worst days of the year. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. ItÂ’s like a bad day from hell, every year. I can count on it and it will happen.
People have told me it was my attitude, that I create this day of hell. Thinking maybe they where correct, I tried changing my attitude to see what happens. That failed miserably, that was one of the worse BirthdayÂ’s IÂ’ve had in years.
Before any of you old folks out there start trying to make this a denial of age thing, itÂ’s not. The last time I celebrated my birthday was when I was 21, and only because I wanted to go out and get drunkÂ… legally. Even before then I didnÂ’t celebrate my 20th B-day.
I used to look forward to my birthday, the fun and special treatment for the day. Then one year, when I turned 18, everyone forgot. EVERYONE, not one “Happy Birthday”, not a card, gift or anything. It took two weeks before anyone ever realized what happened, and that was my mother. Through all the excuses and apologies, she said it wouldn’t happen again. Flash forward one year, I’m a freshman in college. I’m turning 19; my birthday comes and goes with the same lack of recognition. I was sure people would remember this year, because they forgot the year before. Nope. This time however, it only took about a week before someone remembered; this time it was my sister.
On both days I had various things happen that were just miserable. The kind of things that in the grand scheme of life arenÂ’t horrible, but are enough to ruin a day. Some of my favorite examples are: Plumbing explosion, being assigned menial tasks at work, car breaking down in the middle of nowhere w/no phone, etc.
Since then I decided that I was not going to recognize or celebrate my birthday. It makes life easy on my wife because she doesnÂ’t have to worry about shopping or buying me anything. She doesnÂ’t have to plan anything or do something special. We just go about our day as if itÂ’s any other day.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish sending some “Frag off” e-mails.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:59 PM
| Comments (12)
| Add Comment
Post contains 533 words, total size 3 kb.
64 queries taking 0.0453 seconds, 194 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
