Now Ogre of OgreÂ’s Politics and Views wants to be a member of the Bad Example Clan. Okay, IÂ’m going to vouch for him; I kind of have to, I am a thrall of Ogre. (At least for another 3 months. Hey IÂ’m fickle)

For Ogre, I think there should be a special rule, if a member of the Bad Example Clan tags him with a meme; he actually has to do it. NahÂ… that takes away the fun of watching him spend more time working on avoiding answering one.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:33 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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CalTechGirl of Not Exactly Rocket Science wants to be in the Bad Example Clan as well. I was thinking of not vouching for her, I mean thatÂ’s less inheritance for me, right? Then I realized I wasnÂ’t going to get anything anyway so sure, why the heck not.

IÂ’ll vouch for her, sheÂ’s helped me with HTML, kept me occupied while drunk inebriated, and has entertained me with her humor.

I think IÂ’m reaching the end of my vouchers. Harvey may end up revoking my rights and privileges (yes, there are some) of being a member of the Bad Example Family.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I wonder how many vouchers I can give out before Harvey is going to suspend my right to vouch for people. Anyway, there are two more bloggers that want to get into the Bad Example Clan. Richmond of One for the Road and Laughing Wolf of The Laughing Wolf.

IÂ’ve met both of these bloggers and IÂ’m traveling in about three weeks down to the Wolf Park to visit again. I think both of them would fit just fine into the Bad Example Clan.

Now we just have to see if my vouching for someone is a help or a hindrance. I mean I see bloggers asking other BE Family members to vouch for them, butthe don't approach me. I know, it's because I'm shy and they don't want to scare me.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:05 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Thanks! Know we find out...

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at January 31, 2006 11:18 AM (zI0Ey)

2 Yay! Thanks Contagion!

Posted by: Richmond at January 31, 2006 12:25 PM (e8QFP)

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Why do I want to be in the Bad Example Clan? Because I am the one and only unwanted stump in the Bad Example Family. By joining all the online organizations I can find, I can fool myself into believing that people actually like me and want me around. My psychologically unstable personality dictates that I must join, especially since (in HarveyÂ’s own words) IÂ’m already a member of the Bad Example family they have to let me in.

This is a good thing, I would hate to have to beg people to vouch for me. I think IÂ’d end up sitting in the corner all by myself smearing lipstick on my face while I wrote names on my list. Well okay I wouldnÂ’t do that because A) I could never find a shade of lipstick I liked, er wait I mean IÂ’d never wear lipstick. 2) Writing a list just sounds like work D) IÂ’d probably be too drunk to write.

(ItÂ’s a joke people; I donÂ’t wear lipstick nor make listsÂ… Really, I donÂ’t!)

Posted by: Contagion at 07:31 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 But then you could save Billy Madison!

Posted by: Sissy at January 30, 2006 08:12 PM (gCk3+)

2 I hate to burst your bubble - but I love ya to death dude. Seriously.

Ok - maybe those 4 or 8 beers I had for dinner are influencing me but seriously - I love you dude!!!!

;-)

Posted by: Tammi at January 30, 2006 11:42 PM (lfQya)

3 Again with the mental imagery! lol! And I am sure that Ktreva would take the lipstick away from you before you got too out of hand....

Posted by: Richmond at January 31, 2006 05:39 AM (e8QFP)

4 Yeah, Tammi's been drinkin' again :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 31, 2006 06:40 AM (ubhj8)

5 hello how are you? Do you feel alright?

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at January 31, 2006 07:45 AM (h6zX8)

6 Sissy: Excellent job picking up the reference.

Tammi: I love it when you drink, you lie so free and easily.

Richmond: You are welcome!

AWTM: uh, I'm right here, it's been less then 24 hours since I posted, quit wishing me into an early grave!

Posted by: Contagion at January 31, 2006 08:11 AM (Q5WxB)

7 Don't be so modest, crimson berries would be an excellent color for you!

Posted by: oddybobo at January 31, 2006 08:19 AM (6Gm0j)

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Since IÂ’ve been hogging the computer all week doing blog maintenance, working a super secret project, and looking for my fun Saturday video clips, IÂ’m turning the computer over to Ktreva. IÂ’m really wishing I could justify spending the money on a laptop right now.

Now I'm going to go play with clone and see how much damage I can do while drinking. Remember, when I drink and play with clone... history lessons are taught.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The best thing about having a beautiful wife is that you can look AND touch. ThereÂ’s just something about admiring a beautiful woman that makes me smile. Throw in that when this woman walks by I can smack her on the arse and not be slapped it is even better. Well a smack, pinch or grabÂ… IÂ’m known to do any one of those actions at a given time. For the last seven years Ktreva never complained about it, well unless I was a little too rough. Now all of a sudden she must have decided that IÂ’m no longer allowed to touch.

A couple of weeks ago she informed me she needed new jeans. Off she went and bought three pairs. I didnÂ’t think anything of it. She had been wearing them around and they looked good on her. Between you and me, there is nothing sexier then a woman in a tight pair of jeans. The way it enhances her womanly figure just gets my motor running. The curve of the hips, the swell of bottom, and the roundness of the legs are all enough to drive me wild. IÂ’d rather have a woman with a good behind in tight jeans then a big-breasted woman. I guess IÂ’m weird that way. And no hip huggersÂ… they destroy the natural beauty that is woman. Hip huggers through off the natural lines and curves of a female.

Sorry, got off track there, back to my point. Ktreva is walking around in her new jeans looking good. I couldnÂ’t help myself, winding up and with the back of my hand; I let a playful slap to her bottom go. OUCH!!!!! I pull my hand back and it feels like something stung my finger. A white spot has formed on one of my fingernails where I hit. I look closer at her new jeans and realized something; she has beads all over the pockets of her jeans!

I thought they where just decorative little designs, nope these are metal studs sewn through out the back pockets in a design. She armored her arse!!! Her butt was firm before, but now itÂ’s a tank! (Hard, not the size of!) ItÂ’s an impenetrable fortress against groping, pinching and smacking! UNFAIR!

Ktreva of course is laughing about the whole thing. I’m nursing my now bruised fingers and trying to shake the sting out. She’s laughing at me. Apparently, there is humor in my pain for her. All I can think is “Denied my husbandly right to play grab arse with my wife.”

So let this be a lesson to you guys, look before you smack. Apparently, they are marketing Armor Arse jeans to the women folk out there.

Posted by: Contagion at 10:56 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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This is a little story IÂ’ve held off telling for two and a half weeks. ItÂ’s a valuable lesson to all of you drinkers out there. Some of you may recall there was a blogmeet here in northern Illinois on January 8. It was the much talked about Fritzfest. If you missed it, it was your loss. I had been drinking a little and we were talking about Bloggers that werenÂ’t there.

Someone (I believe it was Tammi but I could be wrong) said we should call Army Wife Toddler Mom. In my alcohol soaked brain, this sounded like an excellent idea. Unfortunately we didn’t have a way to do it. Wait…. I have a cell phone, if I only had her number. At that point someone (I believe T1G, but I could be wrong) said “I have her number, it’s ###-###-####” (Except there where numbers and not the number symbol.)

I quickly call her up on the most hated of all electronic devices I own and precede to talk to her for a whole 5 minutes. Then we played pass the cell phone to all the bloggers. 45 minutes later and half a drained battery I get it back. ItÂ’s hot to the touch from all the bloggers that have been holding it to their head. (Yes when I got home I hit it with Clorox wipes) I put it away and didnÂ’t think twice about, until the next day.

IÂ’m at work, and my cell phone rings. The ringer on my phone is the MP3 of Foo FighterÂ’s Best of You, and it is loud. IÂ’m fumbling through my coat trying to get to it. WeÂ’re not supposed to have cell phones on at work and I had forgotten to turn it off. I look at the caller ID and donÂ’t recognize the number. IÂ’m thinking someone has a wrong number, not just because I didnÂ’t recognize the number, but also because no one calls me on my cell phone.

Upon answering the phone I have this conversation:

Contagion, “Hello”

Caller, “Hey, it’s me.”

Contagion, “uh… who’s me?”

Caller, “Army Wife Toddler Mom”

Contagion, “I’m at work, this isn’t a good time.”

AWTM, “T1G?”

Contagion, “No… This is Contagion.”

AWTM, “Oh, I thought this was T1G. I thought you called on his cell phone.”

Contagion, “No, I called you on my call phone.”

AWTM, “Well this is what you get for drunk dialing! I didn’t want to talk to you!”
And then she promptly hung up on me.

The moral of this story is: If youÂ’re going to drunken dial, use someone elseÂ’s phone. If you donÂ’t the people you called will hit redial at the most inopportune times.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:53 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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On Sunday, I was able to get together with Wes of Bodrhan (drum) roll, please to go spend sometime at the range. After we had left the house, I received a call on my cell phone from the other world. A faint voice, barely audible spoke to me across the barriers between life and death. The voice said to me, “Contagion, It is I Graumagus.” At this point, it is important that you understand that Graumagus has been dead for the last 2 weeks.

The voice went on to say, “Contagion, how could you plan to go shooting with out inviting your old friend?”

Contagion: “But, Grau, you’re deader then a doornail. It’s not like I could just call you up in the otherworld and invite you.”

Grau: “You mean like I’m calling you now? We dead have phones too you know. We just choose not to use them, much like you.” (Remember Grau is dead so read his parts with a spooky ghost like voice in your head!)

Contagion: “Oh hadn’t thought of that. Anyways, if I had invited you, it’s not as if you could have gone. You’ve been mostly dead for two weeks. You can’t hold a gun in ghost form.”

Grau: “In order to burn powder and throw lead I would re-animate my body and come back as a zombie to shoot.”

Contagion: “You do remember I have an unnatural hatred of zombies? In fact, I have plans on what to do in case zombies rise from the ground. Plus you smelled bad enough before, I don’t want to think of what two weeks of rot on top of it would smell like.”

Grau: “Shite, I forgot about that zombie issue you have, AND I DIDN’T SMELL WHEN I WAS ALIVE! Well, just get over your hatred of zombies for one day… and I’ll wear something that doesn’t stink.” (It’s not remotely amusing if you’re not reading Grau’s parts in a spooky ghost voice!)

Contagion: “No promises, but okay as long as you bring the Colt 1991 .45. If you don’t have that, then all bets are off. I’ll turn your skull into a candy dish!”

Grau: “Deal! I’ll meet you there.”

When Wes and I arrived there was no signs of an uprising or the dead walking the earth so we sat down and started shooting. Shortly after, in walks GrauÂ’s surprisingly well preserved corpse. He brought with him his .44 mag and the mandated .45.

During a shooting break, we all had a chance to talk. Grau said he had two choices; he could have fixed his blog or gone shooting. He deciding that shooting was more important, however he was going to blame me for him not updating his blog. Sure, blame me I didnÂ’t force that gun into his hand!

Most of the time there I spent trying to get the sites adjust on my pistol. Unfortunately, I didnÂ’t have the correct tools to do it. I think IÂ’m just going to have to pay a gunsmith to site it in for me. I went through 500 rounds trying to site it and I was just not getting the sweet spot. My clusters werenÂ’t horrible, just not in the right area.

After a couple of hours, the powers needed to re-animate his corpse took its toll on him. He had to leave; now this was at 2:30. After drive time and all he should have been home around 4:00, plenty of time to work on Frizzen SparksÂ… notice nothing new. Yea, my fault my arse. Lazy bastard! Wes and I stuck around to burn through the last of the ammo. It would be a sin to go home with perfectly good ammo.

I also was able to talk with some of the other shooters there, swap stories, and talk about our firearms and such. One guy was shooting a real nice replica .45 caliber Henry rifle. (This is the first lever action that was used in the Civil War) He was pretty darn good; he had bullÂ’s eye clusters at 25 yards.

After shooting Wes and I hit “The Vaj” aka Vaj’s Garage. It’s a small bar just south of Bristol, WI. Great food, cold beer, wonderful atmosphere, and yet another bar that I like that is too far away from home. We watched part of the Steelers molesting beating the Broncos while eating our burgers. Yet another bar that has Michelob Amber bock on draft, nice and icy cold too. After we finished eating, we headed home to our families.

When I got home, I had to consol Boopie. HeÂ’s a Denver Bronco fan and was really hoping they would go to the Super Bowl this year. It wouldnÂ’t have been so bad if it had been a close game, but at 34-17, he took an emotional whipping. HeÂ’ll get over it. Its part of following a sport, youÂ’re team doesnÂ’t always win.

Other then consoling Boopie, it was a good day. I had a lot of fun, no stress and was able to spend some time with good friendsÂ… even if one smelt of rot and decay.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:01 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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JUST KIDDING! After last weeks shenanigans, I think I'm just going to enjoy my libations off line tonight. Henceforth I'm officially turning over the computer to my loverly wife Ktreva.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:26 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Tired of sleeping on the couch?

Posted by: That 1 Guy at January 20, 2006 07:43 PM (4I2py)

2 Huh. For some unknown reason I am a teeny disappionted........

Posted by: Richmond at January 20, 2006 08:00 PM (e8QFP)

3 my inbox is lonely

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 20, 2006 09:53 PM (uI/79)

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(Pushing past empty bottles and glasses) Well it looks like I didn't do too much damage last night. Clone had me up nice and early this morning. Since I was up, I decided I should do my normal Saturday goof off posts.

Here's Darth Vader as you've never seen before. He's kickin' out the Imperial March on the turn table. DJ Vader has some mad skillz, yo!

That Keltech has some talent.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:52 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I know I promised drunk blogging, but I drank most of a bottle of whiskey, and finished off a bottle of Scotch, and IÂ’m still relatively sober. IÂ’ve roamed around the blogiverse reading stuff from people IÂ’ve never met before, left some smart arse comments and even had an e-mail conversation with a blogger whom seems to think I do nothing but blog drunk. (Based on the comment left in my previous post.)

IÂ’m sorry to have failed all of you, again, for the umpteenth time.

I blame it on the pizza I ate. I was getting pretty drunk socially lubricated, then sobriety hit. However, I did win three items on eBay. Even after shipping and handling I was able to pick up three wool Blankets for less then if I bought one from one of my re-enacting sources.

IÂ’m supposed to make an appearance at work tomorrow. I donÂ’t think IÂ’m going in.

Update:
I wrote that two hours ago. IÂ’m feeling much better nowÂ… oh, e-mail. BRBÂ… eh, that was amusing. Anyways, IÂ’m much moreÂ… uhÂ… socially lubricated now then I was earlier. DonÂ’t believe me? Just ask the couch where IÂ’m sleeping tonight. The olÂ’ ball and chain young wife said made a comment that if I canÂ’t come to bed a t a decen ttime I can sleep downstairs. I tried arguing what a decen ttime was, but she would have none of that. Somehting about waking up Clone. Eh, he seems fine to me, snoring like usual. I still have half of a 36 oz drink left. (Math geeks have at it.) After that IÂ’m going to bed. I have my yahoo messanger up, so if you want me, and really need me (ladies only) just e-mail me and IÂ’ll be here.

BTW,. those damn spam verificaction codes on blogger and yahoo are annyoing when you've had a drink or two.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:26 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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End of message.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:52 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 and the reason you don't just leave this up all the time is what?

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 13, 2006 06:15 PM (uI/79)

2 Yea, I'm not drunk 24/7. just 5/4

Posted by: Contagion at January 13, 2006 07:39 PM (e8b4J)

3 Oh... good... I'll fit right in...

Posted by: Richmond at January 13, 2006 08:09 PM (e8QFP)

4 Naps and I are heading to a bar for a bit but please vent. I'm going through a lot of the same stuff since the company I work for has been purchased. I've always found that Macallans single malt is good therapy.

Posted by: spurs at January 13, 2006 08:33 PM (27GT7)

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My blog daughter, Virtue of Ramblings Rantings of an Indentured Servant, must want some money for college. She hasnÂ’t hit me up for any yet, but it sure seems like sheÂ’s trying to sweet talk me. You know sheÂ’s up to something; she has to be. College age kids arenÂ’t that nice to their parents unless they want something.

It all stems from my making a very uncharacteristic compliment in the comments of this post. By the way, if you read that post with a dirty mind, itÂ’s much more interesting. Not that I have to tell any of my readers that. In response she goes off and writes a post titled Why I love Contagion.

Now, itÂ’s not as if any of you need reasons to love me, I mean lets face it. IÂ’m quiet, shy, polite, demure, friendly, nice and above all else a philanthropist. Who wouldnÂ’t love me? But just in case you need some reminders, go check her the post out.

Update: I'm such a bad dad, I can't even get her blog name correct.

Posted by: Contagion at 12:41 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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A co-worker of KtrevaÂ’s is having a problem. The doctor advised that it was all stress related and she should reduce the amount of stress in her life. She started doing various activities and life style changes to help her cope with stress. She was doing real well until a couple of days ago.

Her son is in Iraq with the army. HeÂ’s been overseas a lot, and has multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. She occasionally gets e-mails from him and the even rarer phone call. In the midst of her stress reduction plan, she was pleasantly surprised when her son called. He was just giving her an update on how he was doing and checking on her, his father and sister. They when all of a sudden her call is interrupted by three loud bangs in rapid succession.

Nervous she asked her son what was happening. His response: “Don’t worry about it mom. That’s just Bob on the .50 cal shooting back.” (BANG BANG BANG) “Bob, Say hi to my mom!”(BANG BANG BANG) Bob, “Hi Mom!” (BANG BANG BANG). Son, “I had my cell phone with and thought I’d give you a call while you where still awake.” He was on a rooftop in Baghdad when he called.

Apparently, the thought of talking to her son during a firefight didnÂ’t help her stress any.

Her reactions while reciting the story made me laugh.

Posted by: Contagion at 01:05 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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