I'm at work and my mother calls. Clone has explosive diarrhea and had to leave pre-school. So I'm home taking care of him. The worst part of this is that he doesn't feel sick or bad at all, he just has liquid poop shooting out his boot. There is also the problem that it happens so fast there isn't time for him to get to the bathroom.

Yea, I think I'd rather be at work.

Posted by: Contagion at 01:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It looks like Boopie is up to old tricks. Ktreva has been asking him for a while now if heÂ’s been doing his homework and what not, he of course has been saying yes. Well due to a history of the boy not doing his homework, she called the school. Guess what, so far two of his teachers have confirmed he has not been turning in his homework and that he could end up failing some of his classes this quarter.

LOVELY

So now Boopie of course is mad at us because not only did we not trust him, but also heÂ’s grounded and loss the use of his cell phone. (All his phone are belong to me.) Of course since he is a Gen Y or millennial, he feels this is completely unfair. My thing is that heÂ’s going to pass High School if it kills him and heÂ’s going to start learning to tell the truth if I have to beat it out of him.

To be honest IÂ’m almost at my wits ends with the boy. He wonÂ’t put on clean cloths, he wonÂ’t shower, he wonÂ’t eat, and then he lies about itÂ… badly. IÂ’m tempted to start looking into boarding or military schools, but I just donÂ’t know if he would last at either one before they sent him home.

Posted by: Contagion at 04:39 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Well it looks like Boopie is up to old tricks. It was discovered through deductive reasoning and his inability to tell a lie. Well he can lie, but heÂ’s really, really bad at it. Apparently heÂ’s just been getting up in the morning, watching TV and not making his lunch or anything. HeÂ’s been borrowing money from a friend with promises to pay it back and buying a lunch. Then he comes harassing me about his allowance, which wonÂ’t cover how much heÂ’s borrowed. He gets his financial sense from his biological father.

It started with me noticing that the items I bought for him to take for lunch were not being used. I knew he probably wasnÂ’t eating, but I wanted to get his side of the story before I confronted him. And this is what happened:

Me: What did you have for lunch today?

Boopie: A Sandwich and some chips.

Me: Really? What did you make the sandwich out of?

Boopie: WeÂ’re out of bread arenÂ’t we?

Me: You tell me. What did you make a sandwich with.

Boopie: My friend A-boy gave me a couple pieces of bread to make a sandwich with.

Me: Really? He gave you the meat and cheese too?

Boopie: No, I brought some of ours.

Me: Boopie, that has to be the worst lie IÂ’ve heard you tell.

Boopie: Â…

Me: We arenÂ’t out of bread, we have a brand new loaf. When I made my sandwich this morning I used the last of the old loaf, I can see you didnÂ’t open the new one. I can also see that you havenÂ’t been eating the lunchmeat or cheese.

The conversation went on from there, but he told three more obvious lies, got grounded, and is now sulking in his room. I also told him that itÂ’s time for him to start taking responsibility for his actions. The next time I catch him not making a lunch, eating or telling a lie; IÂ’m going to make sure the consequences match his actions.

If only he could tell a half way believable lie.

Posted by: Contagion at 03:55 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Tonight after work I grabbed Clone and headed to the grocery store to do our weekly grocery shopping. I prefer to do it on Mondays because it’s less busy. To make him feel like he’s helping me, I like to have him “help” me make a menu and grocery list. In other words, I already know what it’s going to be, I just give him choices on which night is what. He is young enough not to realize that he’s not actually picking the food, I’m just giving him choices of stuff I’m going to make anyway. Sometimes I actually decide on what we should have.

Clone has over heard Ktreva and I having conversations about eating healthy and what I can and can’t eat. When I asked him what he wanted for dinner on Saturday he says, “I want pizza with pepperonis. It’s healthy with the pepperonis, then the cheese and the sauce under it. It’s really good for me. Really daddy, it’s health for me.” He was as serious as a heart attack that Pepperoni Pizza was healthy.

I almost ran over a Prius because I was laughing so hard.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:21 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 well, gee, dad, it IS a balanced meal: meat, dairy, bread, AND fruit/veg!

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 10, 2007 05:22 PM (IfXtw)

2 Hahahaha!

On a more serious note; sorry you missed the Prius.

And really sorry you can't make the Rendezvous!

Posted by: jimmyb at September 10, 2007 05:44 PM (3bMMW)

3 LOL - has he been watching reruns of the Bill Cosby show? You know - where he explains why cake is healthy for breakfast to his wife.

Posted by: Teresa at September 10, 2007 07:24 PM (rVIv9)

4 Are you sure you missed the prius?

They don't make much of a bump

Posted by: Graumagus at September 11, 2007 02:32 AM (0q2cX)

5 Wait until he starts telling you of the nutritional fortitude found in Snickers bars

Posted by: BloodSpite at September 11, 2007 09:09 AM (xUF9P)

6 Sounds like health food to me!

Posted by: Richmond at September 11, 2007 01:13 PM (MLcaQ)

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Last night I had some one on one time with Clone. Ktreva went to a local spa after work to get a message and Boopie finally was able to go over to a friendÂ’s house to hang out. After I did the dishes and started dinner, I discovered that the poor boy had fallen asleep on the couch. EXHAUSTED I tell you, itÂ’s hard work being four. It took me an hour of rousing him to get him awake and keep him that way. It didnÂ’t help I did my beer review in that time. Fortunately when I served him dinner he finally woke up and stayed awake.

I spent an hour making dinner. Fresh herb crusted salmon, steamed fresh asparagus with a roasted garlic glaze and a dinner salad. Of course I was the only one to enjoy it. Clone loved the salmon but could care less about the asparagus and salad. After some fighting I got him to eat enough of it to satisfy me. After dinner I asked if he wanted to play a game, but he said no. He “just wanted to watch TV.”

As I sat down on the couch he climbed up next to me. Then he climbed up onto my lap and together we watched Ghost Hunters. We would talk about what we saw on the TV and IÂ’d explain they were out proving there were no ghosts. (HeÂ’s four IÂ’m not going to tell him they are trying to find ghosts or heÂ’d never go to sleep) HeÂ’d ask questions, IÂ’d give him the answers if I had them or a couple of times we had to go look it up on the internet.

At the end of the night as I was putting him to bed he told me, “When I get big like you dad, I’m going to prove there are no ghosts.” After that he told me I was the best dad in the world. Which I highly doubt, but it makes me feel good that he thinks that.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:29 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Have you ever noticed that if you give a teenager the choice of doing a chore today or tomorrow, they will always choose tomorrow? I told Boopie Monday that he could either mow the law Monday or he had to do it Tuesday. Now since Monday was Memorial Labor Day he decided that he was going to do it yesterday. He didn’t want to “ruin his holiday by working”. Which is fine, that’s why I gave him the option of doing it yesterday instead. However, I told him that he would be mowing the lawn prior to going to his friend’s house or anything else.

Last night he’s pitching a fit because he wants to go to his friend’s house. He knew I was going to say no, so he tried asking Ktreva instead. Unfortunately for him, she knew he had to mow the lawn first. Then he tried to pull, “The lawn doesn’t look like it needs mowing.” Well it does. Hell even if I didn’t have him to mow the lawn it would have been me to mow it, it’s that bad.

He tried one last thing. He has a lot of homework to do tonight and he doesn’t like it when everything falls on the same day. Of course my response was, “Mow the lawn, oh and you had the option of doing it Monday. You chose to put it off until tonight. Also if you have that much homework, you need to do that before going to your friends.”

The joys of teenagers.

UPDATE: Yea, I get Labor and Memorial day confused.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:58 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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