May 24, 2006

Now I really need to hit the range.

There’s an old saying in my family, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness, then permission.” Sure, it’s not unique to my family, but it’s heard often. This evening I walk into the house, “Ktreva, I want to buy a handgun. How much trouble will I be in if I do?”

Ktreva hollers back, “A lot.”

Contagion, “But on a scale of 1 to 10, how much trouble would a be in.”

Ktreva, “At least a 6.” (1 means she’s mad, 10 means there are lawyers on the phone. A 6 means no sex for a while and possibly sleeping on the couch. When I hit 8, I need to find a place to stay and she will have the locks changed on the house.)

Contagion, “Whew… I can live with that. Look what I bought!” (Pulls out pistol he just picked up after paying for it last Friday.)

Ktreva, “Why did you buy that, don’t you have enough guns?” (Like a guy can own too many guns!)

Contagion, “Because I didn’t own one like this… and I wanted it!”

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Needless to say, I owe her more jewelry. However, I couldn’t pass up the deal I got on this lovely baby. (Way under sticker price.) It’s a beautiful Colt 1991a1 series 80 Government .45 ACP. 5” barrel, 8 ½” overall length with double diamond rosewood grips. Now Grau doesn’t have to worry about me stealing his when we go shooting. Of course I’m not overly fond of the grips, so I’m thinking if purchasing some laser grips for it. The kind that has the laser site built into it. I figure it’s make it scarier looking when I chase the neighbor kids out of my yard at night. At a gun show I was able to handle the same colt with these on it, and I loved the feel.

Ever since the first time Grau let me fire his, I've been in love with this hand gun. I couldn't wait to get my hands on one. Every gun shop I went to, every gun show I visited, I was searching for one of these that was decently priced. A friend of mine that works at a local gun shop specially ordered some in, even though their store isn't an authorized Colt dealer, just so I would stop bugging him. Then when it arrived he discovered one was "damaged" and was "missing parts". Fortunately for me it was the one I liked so he knocked a hell of a lot off of the price for me.

Well if you excuse me, IÂ’m going to go sleep on the couch. I like sleeping on the couch, itÂ’s like camping, only with out having to set up a tent!

Posted by: Contagion at 06:37 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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May 10, 2006

Man-poo

Some of you might find this hard to believe, but if I have a feminine side itÂ’s hidden so deep that hypnotherapy canÂ’t even find it. Let me give you an example. I havenÂ’t had to buy shampoo in a year and a half. We were given a gallon of shampoo by a company as part of a promotion and with my short hair that lasted for a long, long time. It doesnÂ’t take much to wash my hair.

I finally ran out of shampoo and had to purchase some. Ktreva and I ran to the store on our lunch break to purchase some. I can go a day or two with out washing my hair, but after that it just feels nasty and I donÂ’t need gel to keep it spiky. As soon as I turned to go down the shampoo aisle I noticed it was filled with all these funky scented and special needs shampoos. What the hell? A) IÂ’m not buying anything that is going to smell like flowers. 2) IÂ’m not buying anything to give my hair extra sheen and luster D) IÂ’m definitely not buying something to give my hair more body and bounce.

I turn to Ktreva and say ”Do they even make a man’s shampoo? I’m not washing my hair with any of this girlie crap”Rolling her eyes, Ktreva loudly states that she will help my find man-shampoo. The other shoppers, all female, are smiling and chuckling. Ktreva, happy because she thinks she has gotten one over on me is also smiling. Not to be undone, I respond with ”Yes, that’s what I need Man-Poo.” Now everyone is laughing or looking on in shock. All Ktreva can do is try to hide her embarrassment over being seen in public with me at that moment.

We spent the next 20 minutes searching for something that would work. Then Ktreva find’s a bottle of stuff labeled, “Shampoo for men.” It’s a two in one deal that cleans and conditions. Like I care about conditioning. ”I told you I’d find a shampoo for men.” says Ktreva. Loudly I respond with, “Thank you for finding me man-poo.”

I donÂ’t know why, but she ran out of the aisle trying to shield her face from the passer-bys staring at us.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:16 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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May 07, 2006

Birthday Celebrations.

Yesterday Boopie turned 13. As his father I felt it was my duty to start him on some of the rites of manhood. The best way to do this was with a guyÂ’s night out. After spending two weeks explaining to Ktreva why she and Clone could not come with, I started making plans. ItÂ’s a guyÂ’s night out, thatÂ’s not Guys and MOM! We started off the evening at Hooters. With the help of a couple of fellow bloggers, Shadoglare and T1G, we started the evening out right. Pretty girls, hot wings and instructional advice on the Man Code were given to Boopie by the three of us. We also gave advice on how to pick up and deal with girls.

So about right now some of the ladies out there are probably thinking to themselves, “Good lord, what kind of horrible advice did they give?” Let me tell you this, it was all good, sound advice that hopefully he retains. Trust me, the now man was in good hands.

Speaking of good hands, while at Hooters Boopie received a T-shirt autographed by all the girls and had his picture taken with them as well. I’d love to tell you the rest, however, the man code prohibits the telling of stories in this type of situation. That and a panicked “Don’t tell mom!” on the ride home has rendered my unable to speak about it.

After dinner we separated our ways from T1G and Shadoglare. They went on their way, and we headed to the Rock River Raptors game. Boopie was surprised by how good of seats I have. He knew they where good, but he didnÂ’t realize that they where upfront and in your face! Boopie participated in the half-time mini-football toss. Unfortunately he didnÂ’t win.

My favorite player on the team, Jeremiah Thompson (Number 25 in your program, number 1 in your heart) played last night. I know the web page says his number is 18, but trust me people, it's actually 25. I told him it was Boopie's 13th Birthday and he promised Boopie he would get 13 receptions and 2 touchdowns for him. Well, he didn’t get the thirteen receptions, but he did get two and half touchdowns. One of his catches he dove over the end zone wall, so it didn’t count. That’s why I’m counting it as half a touchdown. If our Quarterback hadn’t overthrown the ball, it would have been a good touchdown! The best part was that after his first touchdown, as he was running back to the bench, Thompson pointed to Boopie and said, “That one is for you.” It made Boopie’s evening to say he had a TD scored just for him.

Today the celebration is over and I have to deal with the fact that IÂ’m old enough to have a teenager. You have to understand, half the time I feel like IÂ’m still 16. Gah, IÂ’m just getting old.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:43 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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