February 27, 2006
Posted by: Contagion at
07:25 PM
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February 23, 2006
The other way I cook is the quick and easy method. The food is edible, and usually only takes about 5-15 minutes prep time, with maybe an additional 30 minutes cooking time. During the week, this is the type of cooking IÂ’m known to do. Sometimes we are pressed for time and we cheat even further and get boxed meals. Yes, you can all gasp in horror now. This is rare, and for good reasons. The meals usually taste like crap and have no nutritional value.
Tonight was planned a box meal, Tuna Helper Tuna Melt to be exact. Clone was watching on as I prepared the meal. At first he was fascinated at the mixing of water, milk, butter and noodles. Asking questions and making observations, it was fun father and son time. When I added the powdered sauce, a look of horror crossed his face. He asked me, “What’s that, dada?”
I responded, “That’s the cheese sauce, buddy.”
Clone, “Dada, I can’t like it.”
Contagion, “You can’t like it?”
Clone, “No, I can’t like that.”
That went back and forth for a while. Then I added the tuna to the pot.
Clone, “What that?”
Contagion, “Tuna, it’s a fish.”
Clone, “Dada, I can’t like it.”
Contagion, “You’ve had tuna before, you liked it. Why don’t you like it this time?”
Clone, “It sucks.”
I kid you not, my son told me for the first time something sucks. After I finished laughing, I wrapped my burnt fingers. His response made me laugh so hard I accidentally touched the stove surface. I donÂ’t know who taught him that, or where he picked it up, but it was rather amusing.
UPDATE: When I put a bowl full of the Tuna Helper in front of him, he started screaming, "I CAN'T WANT IT! I CAN'T WANT IT!" It's not, I don't want it... it just that he can't want it. There is nothing in the world that could make him want it I guess.
Posted by: Contagion at
06:13 PM
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February 13, 2006
It starts out as English, “Dada, I want to…” but then it goes horribly wrong, some mixed up language that only the child understands. “…bregaft marka mook.” At which point the adult tries to translate. “You want to breakfast to make a poop?” The child will repeat itself, “Dada, I want to bregaft marka mook!” “You want to bring markers to mom?” Of course, this goes on for hours with no success. The child just gets frustrated and sentences come out of your mouth you never thought you would say.
On the flip side there is the child trying to imitate what you said and getting it all wrong. Such as an incident that happened to me recently when I was playing with Clone. While I was sitting on the couch, he would come running up to me. I would grab him and toss him in the air over my head. This went on for a while until my arms started to get tired. He wanted to continue to play, but I had enough. I told him no more, it was time to play something else. Clone, being the even inquisitive almost 3 year old asks, “Why?” (I really was hoping this stage wouldn’t hit for another year or so.) My response was that I was tired.
I believe my exact words were, “Because Daddy is tired.” He looks at me a second and responds with, “Dada, you’re not tarded.” Of course, I’m happy my son doesn’t think I’m retarded, but I tried correcting him. “No, tired; not tarded.” To which he responded, “Tarded!” Now, for those of you that haven’t had the pleasure of trying, you cannot change a 2 year olds mind when it’s made up. It doesn’t matter what I actually said, he is convinced the word coming out of my mouth is “tarded” not “tired”.
I will admit; there is something nice about having someone confirm that you are not retarded. Even if you know they donÂ’t mean it
Posted by: Contagion at
12:57 PM
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February 09, 2006
Tonight he didnÂ’t pick apart the burger. He ate the whole thing the way it was supposed to be eaten. Well, except he would dip it into the ketchup that was for his French fries. Maybe things are changing in the way he eats. We could only be so lucky.
Posted by: Contagion at
06:23 PM
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February 08, 2006
As I laid there in the dark, fearing the beating I was about to receive, a sense of déjàvu came over me. This is not the first time I’ve laid in this bed in fear of being beaten by my wife. She actually did beat me once, it happened way back when…
(Insert wavy flashback lines)
Â…we were not yet married. I was working for the State, 11 PM to 7 AM, my days off rotated and at the time of the incident they where Thursday and Friday. Ktreva worked Monday through Friday 7 AM to 3:30 PM. In order to keep my sleep schedule from screwing up too much, I would stay up late on my days off, not going to bed before 4:00 AM. When my sleep schedule was screwed up, it made my first day back to work very difficult.
One night after watching some really bad movie on late night television, I went upstairs and crawled into bed. Leaning over, I kissed my lovely wife on the top of her head. She sits up in bed and in perfect form punches me in the eye! The woman I love and am going to marry punched me as hard as she could for kissing her! Fortunately, she is not the strongest woman in the world as it didnÂ’t hurt, but it more then shocked me a little.
With out a word, she lies back down and falls asleep. Not wanting to anger her anymore, I just laid there thinking, “What the hell was that for?” When morning came and I finally rose from my slumber, Ktreva had already left for work. That day I went over to a friend’s house to help him with some stuff. His wife looks at me and asks, “What happened to your eye?” I hadn’t looked at myself in the mirror that morning, but my wife had given me a black eye!
When I finally went home, Ktreva was in the office on the computer. She saw me enter the house. With a big smile, she got up to give me a hug and a kiss. I on the other hand pointed a finger at her and yelled, “YOU STAY TEN FEET AWAY FROM ME!” She wanted to know why she had to stay away. I wanted to know why she felt the need to punch me. I regale her with the tale of her dotting me in the eye, and what does she do? My “loving” and “caring” wife is laughing her arse off. She doesn’t remember doing it. At least that is what she claims. To this day, she still claims not to remember, let alone know why she punched me.
Now, to be honest, I was somewhat proud she used perfect form.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:27 PM
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February 03, 2006
When we bought our current house, it came with a dishwasher, so now I had two. Unfortunately, my original dishwasher decided to break down and no longer do dishes, it was now going to be my job. Fine, so I learned how to operate the new dishwasher and away we went. Everything was fine for the first couple of months. Then something happened that had never been a problem in the past.
After putting a load of dishes in the dishwasher, I reached under the sink for detergent. Pulling out the bottle, I could see that it was empty. What, no dishwasher soap? What the hell?!?! I was lost, what was I going to do. Then I spotted the answer. There, next to the sink is Dawn dish soap, with grease cutter! AHA! ThatÂ’ll work!
After filling the detergent container in the machine, I close the door and start the machine. I mean, if it washes dishes in the sink, itÂ’ll work in the dishwasher right? It did work really well. The problem is that it worked too well.
I leave the kitchen proud of myself and sit down to watch some TV. Half an hour later Ktreva goes walking into the kitchen and screams, “OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?”
Thinking that Boopie had done something wrong, I jumped up and ran to the kitchen. Once I stepped in, I was greeted by Ktreva standing there, arms crossed and knee deep in bubbles. The kitchen was filling with bubbles coming out of the dishwasher. “What did you do?” she asked. “Ran the dishwasher,” I responded.
Ktreva, “How much detergent did you use?”
Contagion, “About the same as normal, maybe a little more since it was a different brand.”
Ktreva, “A different brand, I didn’t buy a different brand.”
Contagion, “We were out of the regular kind, so I used the dawn.”
Ktreva, “YOU USED SINK SOAP IN THE DISHWASHER?”
Contagion, “uh, yeah.”
Ktreva, “You can’t use sink soap in a dishwasher!”
Contagion, “Why not?”
Ktreva points around the kitchen.
Contagion, “Oh, yeah. Got it.”
We went about cleaning it up. We pushed a lot of the bubbles out the back door. We used a ShopVac and mops. When we were done, the floor was the cleanest it had ever been since we moved in. The dishes where also very clean when the dishwasher was finished. (The old model didnÂ’t have a shut off, you had to let it finish).
That was a valuable lesson learned that day.
Posted by: Contagion at
12:59 PM
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February 02, 2006
This year IÂ’m really excited! For the first time since Ktreva and I have been together, we are taking a vacation that does not involve either visiting a relative or having a relative travel with us. Most of our vacations involve my mother-in-law. Ktreva is excited because this is the first year that we are going somewhere neither of us has been before. Usually we go somewhere IÂ’ve already been that she hasnÂ’t.
I donÂ’t have all the details down, but right now, we know we are going to stop in Bowling Green, KY to see the Corvette Manufacturing plant and museum. IÂ’ve been a huge Corvette fan for years and IÂ’ve always wanted to stop by here. After that we are heading to Lynchburg, TN so that we can take a tour of the holy land Jack DanielÂ’s Distillery. Yes, I know itÂ’s a dry county. IÂ’ve always wanted to go there, plus I want to do some research on distilling for re-enacting. While in Tennessee, weÂ’ll probably visit some of the Davy Crocket sites before heading to Shiloh. Shiloh has been a place IÂ’ve wanted to visit for years. ItÂ’s the site of the first major engagement in the Civil War. Sure, it seems like this vacation is planned around me, well she got to plan the last one!
I just received the material last night so IÂ’m not sure exactly what else weÂ’re doing yet. At this time, IÂ’m just excited over the fact I finally get to see three sites IÂ’ve wanted, and havenÂ’t had the chance to
Posted by: Contagion at
01:09 PM
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Post contains 336 words, total size 2 kb.
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