March 21, 2007
IÂ’ve been trying to keep up a good face about it, but I think my friends and family have figured out something is wrong. As things have progressed theyÂ’ve started to alienate me, or at least it feels that way. I see and hear less and less from them and theyÂ’ve stopped inviting me out with them. Not to be all machismo about it, but I can handle that easily. What bothered me was not knowing what was wrong with me.
Finally, today, IÂ’ve been given a partial answer. They finally diagnosed my condition. I found much relief in that. Unfortunately, itÂ’s incurable. There is absolutely nothing that can be done about it. I probably wonÂ’t die, but I will suffer for the rest of my life with it. I guess IÂ’ll just have to learn to cope with it, as itÂ’s also not treatable.
I have Chronic Lyricosis. There are two different versions of Lyricosis.
1) Singing so poorly that nobody can understand what youÂ’ve sung;
2) Not knowing the actual lyrics, but singing anway.
Usually type one causes type two in the listeners, therefore the condition is considered contagious.
The sad thing is that have I both versions, even if the second version is somewhat voluntary. Yes, I know the correct lyrics to Celin Dion’s “My heart will go on” is: Near far wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. I always sing, Near, far alone or in a bar. I believe that beer tastes better. Sure the Carpenters wrote, “Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime that you are near.” But isn’t it better “Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime I drink beer?” Of course Joe Crocker meant the lyric to be, Love lift us up where we belong. Where eagles cry, on a mountain high.” And I’m sure he’d kick my arse for me changing it to, “Love lift us up where we were wrong. Where the eagles die, way up in the sky” but I just can’t help it.
I prefer making up my own lyrics. They are a lot more fun to sing. Though in the fact that I canÂ’t hold a tune in a dump truck and often sing in a Scottish burr, does it really matter what lyrics I sing? I mean usually people are running away from my absolutely horrible singing voice. Many years ago GrauÂ’s family, WesÂ’ Family and mine went camping. They had a karaoke contest. Although I know IÂ’m a bad singer, I was kind of hurt at the fact that they where honest to goodness surprised that I didnÂ’t win the worst singer award.
Well, at least I know why they donÂ’t invite to go karaoke anymore.
Oh, and as for the real health issues, uhÂ… they still donÂ’t know. ItÂ’s pretty bad, oh and IÂ’ve gotten so used to coughing up stomach acid and bile all the time that IÂ’ve gotten accustomed to the taste and actually kind of enjoy it. Yea, I know.
Posted by: Contagion at
05:25 PM
| Comments (4)
| Add Comment
Post contains 553 words, total size 3 kb.
March 08, 2007
Of course there is the increased arguing. The snide comments and dirty looks can be a dead give away. Sometimes itÂ’s the impatience with their partner or constantly irritated by the others actions. The decreasing use of pet names is a bad sign. Then there is the cessation of all affection. A lack of courtesy or inconsideration towards each other is a huge warning. The individual thinking more about themselves then their partner. Finally there are the more nefarious signs, such as plots to injure or hurt the spouse.
With a heavy heart I must say that Ktreva and I have fallen into this state of relationship. I had thought we had a good strong marriage only to find out that it isnÂ’t true. Maybe I missed all the other signs, but she sent a very strong one this week.
I asked her to pick me up a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats from the store. Do you know what that witch did? She got me ORGANIC Frosted Mini-Wheats.
If she still loved me she wouldnÂ’t try to turn me into a Hippy!
Posted by: Contagion at
07:08 PM
| Comments (10)
| Add Comment
Post contains 280 words, total size 2 kb.
March 07, 2007
”It is part of a globe-spanning ridge of undersea volcanos, the kind of structure that forms when Atlantic tectonic plates separate and lava surges upward to fill the gap in the Earth's crust.
But that apparently did not happen this time. Where there should be a four-mile-thick layer of crust, there is instead that much mantle — the very dense, dark green rock that makes up the deep inner layer of the Earth.”
Oh, okay so something went wrong in the geodynamics of the planet and instead of getting a lava scab it got a puss scab. I got it. (Well if you think about it, the analogy kind of works, gross, but works) Hmm, I wonder if they will blame this on global warming? Wait, wrong post. Anyway this doesnÂ’t bother me. I mean cÂ’mon we barely understand how the earth works and the fact that the site is three miles below the surface of the ocean doesnÂ’t mean anything. This could be a common occurrence for years, but we are just now discovering it because of our technological advances. This is what bothers me:
”The 12-member expedition to take an unprecedented peek at Earth's mantle left the Canary Islands on Monday with a new high-tech vessel and a robotic device named Toby that will dig up rock samples at the site and film what it sees……The robotic device will land on the exposed mantle, deploy a drill, and dig into the rock to bring back samples.”
WHAT?!?!?!?! If movies and Science Fiction has taught me anything itÂ’s that you do not bring back funky samples from strange anomalies for study. If you do, some strange kind of microbial creature will start to take over humans, you will release a funky disease, there will be some kind of radiation that destroys humans or even worse turns them into zombies. (God, if we were only that lucky) This may even be a gateway to an extra dimension or hell. Their drilling into it could open it up!
These scientists are being reckless in their endangerment of life on this planet. What secrets have been locked away in that undersea prison for millennia that they are going to set free? Heed my warning people; this could bring about the end of the world, as we know it.
Posted by: Contagion at
08:32 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 445 words, total size 3 kb.
March 05, 2007
Today at work I announced that I no longer recognize nor observe Daylight Savings time. This year I will not change my watch, reset any clocks or anything. I am officially on Contagion doesnÂ’t give a flying rats arse time. That means that if they do not show up by 7:00 AM CST (Contagion Standard Time) they will be counted as late. If they leave after 3:30 PM CST they will not get paid for hours worked outside of standard business hours.
I explained to all of my peers and managers that if they do not comply with my time, then they will be violating my diversity and insensitive to my personal beliefs. I will be offended by their lack of diversity and understanding. The work hours will rotate around my scientific and logical belief that politicians cannot dictate the time. Sure they can tell you they are going to change it, but if you think about it, they really are not. They arenÂ’t changing the time; they are just telling you that the time is different. If they told you that between March and November that grass is actually orange, and everyone says it is orangeÂ… itÂ’s not really orange!
Well dammit! IÂ’m taking a stand! IÂ’ve turned off all the daylight savings time features on my electronics and am set to make my stand. It is currently 7:30 PM in exactly 168 hours it will still be 7:30 PMÂ… not 8:30PM that Congress wants you to believe it will be.
So donÂ’t buy into the conspiracy to take away our time! Take back your watches, your clocks and your hour of sleep!
Now if youÂ’ll excuse me, IÂ’m going to go replace my tinfoil beanie. IÂ’ve seemed to torn mine in the rant.
more...
Posted by: Contagion at
07:26 PM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 392 words, total size 2 kb.
24 queries taking 0.009 seconds, 56 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
