Black Hawk Stout

Despite a couple of “friends” trying to get me to sample a new beer, I decided to go with something that isn’t for the dogs. This weeks choice was difficult in that I found 4 six packs that I thought would be either worth a try or I should take one for the team and review for all of you. This week I decided to be a little selfish and try one I thought I might enjoy, Black Hawk Stout by Mendocino Brewing Company in Saratoga Springs NY.

It comes in a 12 oz brown bottle; on the label you have the picture of a black hawk along with the name of the beer on it. The neck label has a description of the beer along with the name of the brewing company. There really is nothing all that eye catching about the label. It does have a nice older look/design to it.

This beer pours a dark coffee color that light doesnÂ’t pass through. ItÂ’s not as dark as Guinness, but itÂ’s pretty close. There was a one-inch thick tan head that slowly turned into a ring around the glass. There is some lacing, but not a lot of it. The look of this beer is very enticing.

The smell is very appealing. It is a mixture of deep roasted chocolate malts, a touch of coffee, a dash of hops with a very mild and almost unnoticeable hint of cherry. The first whiff makes the taste buds stand up in anticipation. The taste is nothing less then spectacular. You can taste dry roasted malts with a coffee and chocolate blended accents. There is a good mix of hops that awaken the taste buds and makes this an exceptional beer.

It is a medium bodied beer with a nice dry finish. There is a slight creaminess to it. For Stout it was a little thin, itÂ’s not as thick as one would get from an Irish Stout. Still there is a nice texture to it.

I truly enjoyed this beer. ItÂ’s one of those that I can see myself craving or requesting if I go to a bar that stocks microbrews. Definitely worth a drink if you can find it. IÂ’m going to rate this 7 out of 10.

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Winter's Bourbon Cask Ale.

This week I was all excited about writing this review. I was walking down the isle of the liquor store looking for a good beer when a six-pack caught my eye, WinterÂ’s Bourbon Cask Ale. What? Another beer aged in a bourbon barrel? I didnÂ’t think it would be as good as a DragonÂ’s Milk, but I figured it had to be decent. It wasnÂ’t until I got home with it that I noticed that it was made by Anheuser-Busch. Dammit! If there is one thing that Anheuser-Busch can do, itÂ’s taking something good and watering it down. This is one of their limited edition seasonal brews.

Standard 12 oz brown bottle with a white and blue label. There is a snowman holding a pint on it, and the name of the beer. Along with the tag line, “Ale aged on Bourbon barrel oak and Vanilla beans.” Which I misread when I bought it, thinking it was aged IN a bourbon barrel, and I completely missed the part about vanilla beans. The neck label states, “Brewed with all-imported hops and aged on bourbon oak casks and whole Madagascar vanilla beans for a smooth, robust taste.” So they bottle the beer and lay it on top of a bourbon barrel filled with beans? Yes, I know they probably mean that the bottom of the tank they aged it in had floaty bits of barrel and vanilla beans in it.

When poured into a pint glass there is almost no head. What head that does form disappears quickly into a ring around the edge of the glass. There is no visible lacing. The color is a nice ruby color. It is a good-looking beer, very enticing.

It has a very sweet smell to it. It was a mix of Vanilla, bourbon and beer. The vanilla was so overpowering that it reminded me of a beer and vanilla ice cream milkshake. It was too sweet for a beer. The taste was overpowering vanilla. There were bourbon, oak and malt under tones to the vanilla, but it was difficult to separate. What bourbon flavor there was seemed almost artificial, like it was a chemical extract. The aftertaste is almost completely non-existent.

This is a light bodied beer. There is an above average amount of carbonation to it. Very typical of Anheuser-BuschÂ’s Budweiser line of beers.

I was very disappointed in this beer. People who want to drink beer, but want something sweet will like this. ItÂ’s just too sweet for my tastes. I like oak aged and malty beers, and this one did not live up to my expectations at all. IÂ’m going to give it a 3.5 out 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 09:29 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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PranQster, not just a clever name.

While walking through the store I saw a four (four?) pack of beer that caught my eye. It had an old Dutch style picture on the box, and I figured it would be interesting to try. The name gave me a moment of hesitation, but I figured I needed to try this beer. I placed the four (four? Who the hell sells in four?) pack of PranQster by the North Coast Brewing Co. in the cart.

It is in the standard 12 oz brown bottle. The label is quite interesting in that itÂ’s based on a Dutch wood carving of the 1800Â’s. Other then that the label has the standard information on it, nothing to really make me sit up and take notice.

Pouring the beer into a pint glass, it gives a nice inch thick head that fades at a decent rate. There really is no lacing on the glass to describe. The color is a cloudy golden yellow. You canÂ’t see through the glass, but light passes through easily enough.

Up until this point the beer seemed promising. Then I took a whiff, the first thing I smelled was liver. Folks, I kid you not; I thought I smelled liver. It was so predominant that I thought I might have some kind of liver residue from a liver dip my wife made, that I pulled out a virgin, untouched by anything other then sterile water glass and poured a new beer. The same thing happened. Even Ktreva smelled liver. After further examination, the scent is a mix of yeast, cloves and coriander. Due to the lambic style of the beer, it gives it a slightly musty scent as well. The beer tasted much like the scent, there were some malts, cloves and coriander, but it tasted like liverwurst. This is not a selling point in beers to me. I spent 15 minutes scouring the label and the box looking for the disclaimer. “PranQster is named that way as a joke because it tastes like liver! It’s great at parties and to unsuspecting friends to get them to drink this and see their reaction.” Unfortunately, they really want it to taste like this legitimately.

This is a medium bodied beer that has a slight carbonation bite. There is a coating of the mouth that makes the liver taste stick around for a while. It also is kind of unpleasant in the aftertaste.

If you couldnÂ’t tell, I did not like this beer. I like liver, I like beerÂ… but the two should never meet in one product. Just because IÂ’m slightly nauseated by the fact that I drank three bottles of it to give this review, IÂ’m going to have to give it a 2 out of 10.

This really is a joke waiting to happen.

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Pilsner Urquell

This weeks review is for Dr. Phat Tony. He’s been asking for a while now that I review a pilsner. He’s been so distraught over me not reviewing one, that he quit posting back on December 12th as a protest. Well, either that or he is doing some “quality checking” of submitted materials. Folks let me tell you something. I’ve had one hell of a time finding a pilsner. Ktreva and I hit many different stores in the area looking for one to no avail. Finally I was able to find a (A as in singular) six-pack of a pilsner, so I bought it. Tonight’s brew is Pilsner Urquell brewed in Plzen Czech. So Dr. Phat Tony, this review is for you!

Sadly enough it comes in a green glass bottle. That means it allows light through and can damage the beer on the inside if it’s over exposed. The bottle has the name of the beer cast into it. There is a foil neck label. The front label has the name of the beer, where it’s brewed and a faux wax seal that says something in what I’m assuming is Czech. On the back label it has all the normal information as well as a story about the beer, “Pilsner Urquell is truly original. Before 1842 beers were often dark and cloudy, until our visionary brewmaster in Pilsen, Czech created the world’s first golden beer. This revolutionary breakthrough delivered an intensely rewarding taste and the original golden pilsner beer.” Hey, if they say so, who am I to argue?

True to the description this is a clear golden yellow beer. When originally poured there was a one-inch head on it that quickly disappeared. There is no lacing on the glass to note.

It has a very enticing aroma to it. A mixture of mild malts and hops. There is a sweet grassy scent with a nice accent of bread. (Not yeast). On the tongue it has a light malt flavor mixed with a pleasant hoppy bitterness that isnÂ’t distracting. The taste is crisp and clean.

This is a light bodied beer. There is a slight bite on the tongue and a nice level of carbonation. Very pleasant to drink.

This beer pleasantly surprised me. I didnÂ’t think I would like it, but itÂ’s really not bad. It does have a light beer taste and feel to it, but not a bad light beer. IÂ’m going to give this beer a 6 out of 10.

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You need a stomach of steel to drink it.

After the last two weeks cop-outs I decided I needed to go and get a beer to make all of my beer review fans happy. (Yes Dr. Phat Tony, I know you wanted a pilsner. IÂ’ve been searching for one at the local stores with no luck) While shopping in the store I found a can of Steel Reserve 211 High Gravity Lager by the Steel Brewing Company. It was only $.99 and I had never seen it before. I figured this beer would be a good one to do a review on for all of you. Remember, I put my gastric tract in harms way so that you donÂ’t have to.

It came in a 24 ounce silver can. On the front it has the name in black on a white back ground along with many other things. It advertises that it is 8.1% alcohol by volume. This can is so busy itÂ’s hard to describe. It has information all over it telling about the beer and the meaning of the name. Realistically, if someone was going to honestly buy this beer for anything other then to either try it or play a prank on someone else, they are not going to read that much on the label.

The color is a golden amber color. ItÂ’s clear, with no sign of cloudiness or distortion. To be honest it looks like urine. You can see light and images through it easily. It pours a thick one-inch white head that quickly disappears. There is no lacing and it barely has a film on it.

The stink of this beer reminds me of some friends from college apartment, a strong scent of stale beer and rot. Not as much the rot as the stale beer. You can smell some malts, but not a hint of hops. There is also a hint of rancidness to it. Unfortunately the smell was setting up the taste. I could taste stale malts and alcohol. At 8.1% Alcohol by Volume, that doesnÂ’t surprise me. There was a hint of sweetness to it, but the alcohol overpowered it. For the love of all that is good and holy, do not let this beer get warm. Once it gets warm, itÂ’s probably one of the vilest things you can drink.

It is a light bodied beer. There is a very thin feel in the mouth, not that you want it to linger there to long. There is too much carbonation. It bites the tongue and causes you to continuously burp, which makes you taste it again.

IÂ’m not sure at what point my brain decided it hated me, but the fact it let me buy this beer pretty much tells me it does. Lets look at the signs; 24 ounces of beer for under a buck, itÂ’s a high gravity lager, 8.1% alcohol by volume and finally the fact that it was 24 ounces of beer for under a dollar! It was absolutely horrible I give it a 2 out of 10.

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Rating Beer.

Some people have asked me questions on my beer ratings. First you have to understand that my 1-10 scale is broken down by quality.

0-3: Swill that should not be consumed by man or beast. This is the type of beer one uses for making beer brats, or in the case of energy beers, water the lawn. If someone gifts you a beer that ranks a 0-3 on my scale, you are allowed to not drink it and pour it down the drain after the gifter leaves. However, you are obligated to gift them a 0-3 scale beer. Of course that is unless they were returning said beer to you.

3.5 to 6.5: These tend to be your standard beers. They have a decent quality, but nothing all that outstanding. Most beers fall into this category. IE any of your standard American beers; Miller, Budweiser, Coors, etc as well as many of your micro-brews and imports. These tend to be the beers that most people drink on a daily basis.

7.0 to 9.5: Beers that are exceptional. These are the beers that when you taste one, you tell all of your friends about with the caveat “You HAVE to try this.” These are the beers that a person savors and enjoys. These are the beers that brewmasters strive to make. One that if you have a six pack, that last beer will sit in the fridge longer because you don’t know when you’ll get more. These are the beers that when I find one, I like to buy a six-pack to share with friends so that they can sample it as well.

10: The Perfect Beer. There cannot be a perfect beer, nothing is perfect, there can always be better. You may think you have the perfect beer, and then 10 years down the road someone brews one even better. I highly doubt I will ever bestow a 10 on a beer. If I do, it will be the day I stop sampling new beers.

So there you have it, my rating scale. Maybe itÂ’s a little harsh, maybe itÂ’s too broad, but thatÂ’s how I tend to rate everything on a scale of ten. 3.5-6.5 being average.

You can see all my beer reviews in the Alcohol Archives.

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My Goodness, my Guinness!

I know this is kind of cheating, but one of my favoritest bloggers, Richmond, gave me a four pack of Guinness Draught. It would be extremely rude of my to not do a review on it. Plus, itÂ’s the only beer in the house. My wife says itÂ’s because of my 6-day drinking binge IÂ’ve been on. I say itÂ’s because she wonÂ’t get off her butt and go buy me more beer. So tonight I dedicate this review to Richmond, the woman that will do the one thing for me that my wife wonÂ’t, bring me beer!

Guinness Draught comes in a 14.9 fluid ounce Nitro Can! “Hear something? That’s the Guinness floating widget delivering you the great taste of Guinness Draught”. I don’t know if Guinness invented that little widget, and I know there are other beers out there that have it in them, but dang it. The damn thing is, well, Brilliant! The can is black, with the Guinness harp and the name of the beer on the front.

This is probably one of the best beers to pour into a glass. ItÂ’s a drink AND a show all together in one. The beer is a dark brown, so dark one probably could call it black and no one would question it. ItÂ’s so dark, light barely passes through it. The head is a thick and creamy tan color that pours thick and lasts long after the beer is gone. Right after the beer is poured the rising of the head and the flowing of the beer downward through it is mesmerizing. The head leaves a good lacing all over the glass.

When the scent of sweet malts, dark roasts and a tantalizing hint of coffee hits the nose, ones mouth will start to water in anticipation. The taste is a near perfect blend of barley malts, a touch of bitter hops and touch of oak. There is a mild aftertaste that has a slight nuttiness to it that is satisfying.

Surprisingly, and some of my readers may disagree, this is a medium bodied beer. There is a creamy mouth feel to it, but there is a slight wateriness to the texture. There is almost no carbonation to the beer, but it doesnÂ’t need it with the widget adding the nitro goodness to the beer.

This is one of my favorite beers. I truly enjoy drinking it. With itÂ’s lower then average alcohol by volume, one can drink this all day and not end up as impaired. I rate this beer a 7.5 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:16 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Drinking Glögg

Well hell, its Wednesday and time for my weekly beer review. Well unfortunately I didnÂ’t realize until just now that I donÂ’t have any beer this week. So in the spirit of the season, IÂ’m going to do a Glogg review. Hey, itÂ’s alcoholic and dammit, itÂ’s either that orÂ… well Diet Coke.

Really, the packaging is quite unassuming. IÂ’m poured mine from a green glass gallon jug. These look awfully familiar, like something IÂ’d see at a re-enactment. Most likely at one time it held homemade root beer. ThereÂ’s not even a label or instructions on it to tell you what the alcohol content is. Fortunately I know from experience you need to warm this. I also know to keep it away from a heat source. Which makes warming it very difficult.

When poured into a glass it has a cloudy maroon color to it, almost like cranberry juice. It has a cloudiness to it that is typical of any type of mulled spirit. Really, if you didnÂ’t know what you had in your hand, it might pass as some kind of warm Cran-apple cider.

How to explain the scent, letÂ’s start by my suggesting not to take a huge whiff off the bottle. After uncrossing my eyes I could smell a distinct mixture of raisons, apricots, prunes, cloves, cinnamon a hint of grape and a smidgeon of almonds. That was once I cut through the power of pure grain alcohol. Whew! The taste can best be described as happiness. ItÂ’s a fruity mixture with a hint of alcohol to it. Despite the scent, one really canÂ’t taste the alcohol. There is a tantalizing mixture of fruits and spices that really tingle the tongue. With about a 65-70 % alcohol by volume, itÂ’s surprising how one really canÂ’t taste it.

We have here a medium bodied drink. It took a couple of mugs to make sure that I had the right texture to it. As IÂ’m typing, my fingers are starting to go numb. Maybe I should have eaten first.

IÂ’m going to give Glogg a rating of 8 out of 10. Sure, maybe I made it thus I am biased toward it, but dammit! ItÂ’s my review and IÂ’ll give it what I want!

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Glögg

Yesterday I did something I had wanted to do for a long time. I made glogg. What is glogg you ask? Glogg is a traditional Scandinavian winter drink. ItÂ’s like a mulled wine that generally has raisons, almonds, prunes and apricots in it along with spices. ItÂ’s served warm, and tends to socially lubricate a person. Traditionally Glogg has a high alcohol content to it, but now a day more people make it weaker or even non-alcoholic so as to just enjoy the flavor.

Me? Nope, I made it in a fashion that only someone with my resources can. (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) Graumagus will be happy to know that my garage wasnÂ’t involved at all; it was all made in my kitchen. I started making it yesterday morning and finished bottling it around 5:00 PM last night. In the planning stages I figured on making at least a gallon of glogg. Somehow I went from making a gallon, to making almost two gallons of this winter delight. Of course I ended up drinking a quart of it last night. Quality control and all, I canÂ’t just go giving this to people if it tastes bad. If you havenÂ’t figured out, mine didnÂ’t taste bad.

Oh and is this stuff strong. I set a match to it to burn off any excess fumes. It went up in the biggest ball of blue flame I’ve seen. Ktreva and Clone heard the whoomp when it lit all the way in the living room. So as to not burn off all the alcohol, I quickly put the lid back on the pot to extinguish the flames. Clone wanted me to do it again, Ktreva was just upset I didn’t tell her I was doing it so she could see me do the, “I set my sleeve on fire dance”. I didn’t really set my sleeve on fire, but it did get singed a little.

Now I know some of you may want the recipe or have one. What IÂ’ve learned over the years is that there really is no recipe. Sure you can find one, I know because I have at least 20 different ones. And thatÂ’s the thing. Glogg is made to taste by the person making it. Each persons taste is different then the next. There really is no standard recipe. Heck you can even go to stores and by pre-packaged spices to add to other alcohol to make glogg. There is even a liquid extract you can add to other alcohol to get a glogg flavor. Me personally, I made mine from scratch. I figure if IÂ’m going to make glogg, IÂ’m going to MAKE glogg. If you have a recipe, and you follow it to the letter, look at other recipes. See what they do, you might want to add a little something to yours. Experiment a little. You may be pleasantly surprised.

So IÂ’m not sharing my recipe at this time. I think this is one that IÂ’m going to keep in the family.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Pick Axe Pale Ale

Tonight we are on the last of the Tommyknocker beers. Luck of the draw had me saving the worst for the last. Tonight we had the Pick Axe Pale Ale. As many of you may remember, IÂ’m not a huge fan of Pale Ales.

The standard brown bottle is once again the delivery system of choice. On the front we have two Tommyknocker elves mining with a really over sized pickaxe. The back label has a brief description of the beer again with the history of Tommyknockers and the dating system. According to the date, this beer goes skunky tomorrow. IÂ’m really cutting it close.

When poured into the glass you have a healthy looking beer with a nice cloudy bronze color to it. There was about a quarter inch of a head that lasted until the beer was gone and left lacing all up and down the side of the glass. The Pick Axe was the first Tommyknocker beer to actually pour a decent head and have it last.

The aroma was an almost overpowering scent of green hops. Very bitter to the nose and almost drowned out the underlying hint of citrus and pine. To be honest the pine scent may be coming from the tree sitting next to the computer desk. Nope, took the beer outside and it still has a hint oÂ’ pine. The taste was bitter mix of hops with some malts. Occasionally I thought I could taste a subtle hint of oranges, but IÂ’m not sure. There is a very strong and bitter aftertaste to it.

This is a medium bodied beer with a strong carbonation to it. There is a bite on the tongue and a slight coating action to the mouth and throat. When drinking something bitter, this is not a good thing.

I really did not enjoy this beer, probably because I donÂ’t like most pale ales. IÂ’m going to have to give this a rating of 3.5 out of 10.

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Like a Glacial Stream.

I almost forgot it is Beer Wednesday! ThatÂ’s the second most unforgivable sin I could have done. The first being actually forgetting it is Beer Wednesday! Let me start off by saying that IÂ’m ready to finish these Tommyknocker beers so I can get onto something completely different. Yes, all the beers have a different flavor to them, but they are pretty similar in quality. That being said, tonightÂ’s beer is the Tommyknocker Alpine Glacier Lager.

Once again we have the traditional brown bottle with front and back labels. The front has one oÂ’ the Tommyknocker elves climbing a glacier as a ram looks on. The back label has a brief description of the beer and the history of Tommyknockers as well as a dating system. This beer will go bad on December 9, 2006. Boy, IÂ’m cutting this cone close arenÂ’t I?

Upon pouring into a glass the first thing I noticed is that this lager actually has cloudiness to it. Light passes through its golden yellow body, but you canÂ’t clearly see whatÂ’s on the other side. The head is very thin and turns filmy after a couple of minutes. There actually is some lacing on the side of the glass.

I could smell an enticing combination of corn and other grains. There is a hint of sweetness to it that comes from the malts used in the brew. With a hint of sweet malts, the flavor is that of various grains. The flavor fades into a very mild grassy aftertaste that surprisingly isnÂ’t unpleasant.

Like most of the other beers made by Tommyknocker, it is a light bodied beer that is very smooth to drink. The 12 ounces disappeared before I got to the second paragraph. There is a good level of carbonation. The feel off this beer is veryÂ… inoffensive.

I may be ranking this beer a little harsh because IÂ’m not in the mood for this type of beer, but IÂ’m going to give it a 5 out of 10.

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Maple Nut Brown Ale

IÂ’m getting around to trying one of the beers in the sample case I thought I would hate, the Tommy knocker Maple Nut Brown Ale.

The same brown bottle with front and back labels. On the front we have a Tommyknocker pouring maple syrup into an ale barrel. We have the standard back label with a short story about what a Tommyknocker is and a description of the beer. It also tells me that I should drink this beer before December 11 or it will taste bad. I guess IÂ’m cutting this one close.

When poured into a glass, it has a dark cola-like coloring to it. Light passes through, but you really canÂ’t see whatÂ’s on the other side of the glass. There is very little head that quickly dissipates. Even with trying to make as large of a head as possible, it just wouldnÂ’t form. The only thing I accomplished was large bubbles.

The smell is very sweet. You have a scent of chocolate malts with maple syrup. In fact it almost smelled like I was drinking some kind of flavored pop. The taste was nutty with just a hint of maple syrup. Surprisingly it wasnÂ’t very sweet. It had a mild sweetness to it; there is no bitterness at all.

This ale is very smooth with a light body. There isnÂ’t much to the weight, and it has a velvety texture on the tongue. It drinks too easily. I finished off this drink in less than ten minutes, and that was with typing this review.

ItÂ’s an okay beer. This would be a good beer to give to someone that isnÂ’t much of a beer fan. My wife liked the taste, and she isnÂ’t a beer drinker. ItÂ’s a little on the wimpy side for me, so IÂ’m going to give it a 5 out of 10.

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At least it's not grumpy.

We work on to the next of the TommyKnocker beer from the sample pack. TonightÂ’s choice is the Ornery Amber Lager.

Again we have the brown bottle with front and back labels. The front label has the TommyKnockers playing pranks on a human. They are tying his shoelaces together, lighting matches in his boot and putting a mouse in his lunchbox. We have a standard back label, again with a dating system and a little story about the beer.

The Ornery Amber has a clear amber color to it. There isnÂ’t a hint of cloudiness or sediment to it. When poured into the glass there is a filmy white head that dissipates quickly leaving a ring and some lacing on the side of the glass.

You can smell the fruity yeasts with a very mild hint of malts when it is brought to the note. The scent is very faint and after the first couple of sips is almost indiscernible. On the first sip you could taste a slight caramel malt flavor with a hint of nuttiness. There is a tangy aftertaste with a mild, but pleasant bitterness to it.

Ornery Amber is light bodied ale with a good carbonation mix. ItÂ’s easy in the mouth and goes down smoothly. This is one of those beers you would empty the bottle before you realized it leaving you wanting more.

This is a decent beer. ItÂ’s nothing to brag about, but I could see myself drinking a six-pack of this in a night, or maybe during a football game on Sunday. This beer ranks a 6 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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It's not a euphemism

I am a bad, bad man. It has been a month since my last beer review. Since IÂ’m pretty sure none of you want to hear my lame excuse, IÂ’m going to spare you the horrible lie. After Tommyknocker Butthead beer I reviewed last time, I picked up a sample back of all their brews. Sure, maybe thatÂ’s cheating, but hey IÂ’m the one drinking it! Tonight I had the Jack Whacker Wheat Ale by the Tommyknocker brewery and pub.

The bottle is your standard brown bottle with a front and back label. The front label has a miner getting kicked in the arse by a mule. On the back label there is a description of what a Jack Whacker is, “The Jack Whacker’s role was to whip the last mule to keep the supply train moving along.” Gee, and this whole time I always thought it was the teenager that locks himself in the bathroom. Again we have a date system that tells me that this beer was bottled August 28, 2006. I have just until after Christmas to drink the beer in the recommended time frame.

Jack Whacker has a cloudy straw color to it. You can see sediment in it that after a while settles to the bottom of the beer. Fortunately even after sitting for a while, the sediment doesnÂ’t alter the flavor any. There is a thin filmy head, if you can call it that. There was no lacing and only a slight ring around the glass after a couple of minutes.

The smell is of wheat, citrus and lemon grass. ItÂ’s actually a pleasant scent that is different from what IÂ’m used to. The taste is a combined mix of wheat, spices and lemon grass. It is a bit of sweetness to it, but not too sweet. There is a slightly tart aftertaste that fades quickly in the mouth.

This is light bodied ale with a medium carbonation and a crispness that excites the tongue. ItÂ’s easy to drink and is satisfying. ItÂ’s a perfect beer for this unseasonably warm (54 Degree) November night. It embodies the sensations associated with good Autumnal ale.

Surprisingly to me I actually liked this beer. IÂ’ve found most wheat beers to be hit or miss. IÂ’m giving this ale a rating of 5.5 out of ten.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:51 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Boobie beer

Well as we all know two weeks ago I had a birthday. One of my blog fathers, Graumagus of Frizzensparks (Whom is getting put into a low rent old folks home for old bloggers where they will use him for geriatric gay pr0n when he gets older) gave me a six-pack of beer for my birthday (bastard!). He said, “I saw this and instantly thought of you” when he handed it to me. It’s Tommyknocker Butthead Doppelbock by the Tommyknocker brewery & pub. After trying to ignore it, I finally decided to try it. He also told me he wanted me to review it. I thought long and hard about just drinking it and not writing a review, but I couldn’t do that.

It comes in a standard brown bottle with a front label that has two Tommyknockers riding rams; the rams are butting heads. On the back label it has the following, “Tommyknockers were mischievous elves who slipped into mining camps with the Cornish miners in the 1800’s.” (I always though Tommyknockers were boobs) a brief description of the beer and then “Why Butt Head? Try one. You’ll enjoy “big brew” flavor with the intensity of a `head butting’ bighorn ram “ On the back label there is also a date system telling me that this beer was bottled July 28, 2006. It recommends that you drink the beer with in 4 months of it being bottled.

The color is of a dark tea and is slightly cloudy. It pours a sand colored head that dissolves quickly leaving a ring around the edge. There is some lacing, but it also disappears rather quickly.

To the nose it has a very week scent of malts and molasses. I could barely smell it and it took a couple of tries to get a good whiff in order to describe it. It tastes of caramel malts with a hint of plums and a very slight taste of alcohol. The aftertaste is very mild and not at all distracting.

This medium body lager is smooth and easy to drink. There is just the right amount of carbonation. At 7.9% alcohol by volume this beer is surprisingly easy to drink.

IÂ’ve seen this beer in the stores a couple of times, but you can only but it in a six-pack or in a large sample pack of other beers this company makes. I was going to buy a sample pack later on, but GrauÂ’s gift sped up the review. At first sight I thought this was just a novelty beer, but itÂ’s actually pretty good. IÂ’d have to give this a 6.5 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:39 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Scots and pumpkins.

On Saturday night Ktreva and I went to the Fox River Brewing Company in Appleton, WI for dinner. Actually it was KtrevaÂ’s idea. Since it was our anniversary, and I had pretty planned every place else we had gone, I figured I could at least let her pick where we went to dinner. Surprisingly enough she chose a brewery.

The food was pretty good, but lets just get down to it. How was the beer? I only sampled two beers, mainly because of my stomach, but I made sure to get some descriptions on each of them.

The first Beer I had was Caber Tossing Scottish Ale. It was a dark amber color with a thin, but persistent head. The ale was clear, no cloudiness what so ever. There was a decent amount of lacing on the pint glass. Yea, I know, I shouldnÂ’t have ordered the sample size.

This Scotch Ale had a very hoppy scent to it. It was bitter to the nose with a slight sweetness. Upon first taste there is a good sweet and caramel malt flavor. That was quickly replaced with the bitterness of hops. This had to be the bitterest Scotch Ale IÂ’ve ever had. I was rather disappointed in the flavor. The more you drank, the bitterer it became. It had a bitter aftertaste, which left me not wanting to drink it.

The brewery describes this as full-bodied ale. I thought it was more of a medium body. It was a little heavy on the carbonation that bit the tongue.

I like Scotch Ales, and was really looking forward to trying this one. After tasting it, I wasnÂ’t impressed at all. It rates 3 out of 10.

After dinner and I tried one of their seasonal beers, a pumpkin ale. Normally IÂ’m not fond of fruit beers, but this was good.

It poured a light amber with a hint of orange. There was a slight cloudiness to it that you get with a lot of microbrews. The head was almost non-existent, but there was a ring around the end of the glass. What lacing, if any, was minimal and quickly disappeared.

The scent reminded me of those pumpkin spice scented candles or fresh pumpkin pie. There was a slight alcohol scent that enhanced the malt undertones. The flavor was that of sweet malts and I kid you not, pumpkin pie. It wasnÂ’t too sweet, just sweet enough. I found myself enjoying the uniqueness of this beer immensely. What aftertaste there was, was a pleasant combination of pumpkins and malts.

It was a medium bodied beer that left a pleasant coating in the mouth. It had a pleasant texture on the tongue and was very easy to drink. Sipping or gulping this beer went down easily. I could see myself actually craving this beer.

Since I donÂ’t normally like fruit beers I was surprised at just how much I really enjoyed this creation. The only problem is that itÂ’s seasonal, so the next time I head up to Green Bay, they may not have it. I rate this beer 7 out of 10.

Since I robbed you all of a review last week I thought I would surprise you with two this week.

Posted by: Contagion at 05:18 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Samuel Smiths India Ale

All right, tonight's beer of choice is Samuel Smith's India Ale by Samuel Smith old Brewery in (Tadcaster) N. Yorks, England. This is another beer I've seen on the shelves for a long time and just never tried. When I was out looking for a new beer, it just didn't catch my eye like others have in the past.

This ale came in a 1 pint 2.7 fluid oz brown bottle that had the Samuel Smith logo molded into the glass. On a blue and white label it had the name of the beer with a little back-story into the ale. It also is very proud of its English origin as it has product of England on it as well as an English flag.

The copper color is very enticing. There is a slight cloudiness to it that gives it thick appearance. When I poured it, there was almost no head, and it dissipated to a thin frosting on the top that lasted until the beer was finished. Some lacing formed on the side of the glass, but nothing impressive.

Like most India Ales its aroma is earthy. There is a mixture of yeast and sweet malts to it. The taste is a dry combination of spicy hops and malts. There is a bitter finish that isn't bad. The after taste is bitter and lingers. After a while it becomes almost distracting.

Another medium bodied beer that has a creamy texture in the mouth. It's a dry finish that I don't find all that appealing. It also leaves a fine coating in the mouth, which is probably why the aftertaste is distracting.

I don't like IPAs, and this one I didn't care for that much. It's not a bad beer, but not something I think I would find myself buying again just to have one. It rates a 4 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:00 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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It tilted my head towards the toilet.

I'm doing my beer review a night early this week because I'm pretty sure tomorrow night I'm not going to be up to drinking a beer. This week's vile swill didn't help my stomach any. After about three sips my stomach flew into an acidy revolution that even the strongest prescription meds couldn't calm. Tonight I tried Tilt by Anheuser-Busch. Let me just say that whom ever decided that the hybrid of beer and energy drinks was a good idea should be forced into slavery cleaning outhouses in third world countries with their tongues. This is the third one I've tried and all of them are so nasty that I want to puke just so the taste of stomach bile would banish the flavor of this unholy concoction from my mouth.

It comes in a sliver can with an orange T on it along with the name of the beer. In a black bar on the bottom it says, "Premium (HA!) malt beverage with caffeine, ginseng, and guarana (Which I'm sure is anglicized for guano) extracts, Natural flavors and certified color." Certified color? What the hell is that? I can certify that it's farking nasty!

First off the beer is orange. Not orange like in color, but actually orange. It's like they mixed orange crush with any light beer. The head is pinkish in color and dissipates rapidly. There is no noticeable head after a couple of minutes.

The aroma is that of oranges and chalk. Yes, I said chalk. It's like sniffing oranges that are sitting on the railing of an old school chalkboard. The flavor reminds me of baby aspirin. Again that orange and chalk combination. There is a slight bitterness on the tongue that fades into an aftertaste that is almost medicinal. I'm not sure if it was the flavor or other health problems I'm having but it sparked off my gag reflex.

Drinking this beer was just like drinking an energy drink, except it was 6.6% alcohol by volume. (Excuse me, I burped and I thought I was going to evacuate all that I'd eaten in the last week. It made my nose burn.) Oh for the love of all that is good and right in the world don't drink this. Seriously, this stuff is a practical joke waiting to happen.

I'm going to give this "beer" a 1.5 out of ten. Now excuse me while I go gargle with some sterno to get this taste out of my mouth.

Yes, I drank the whole pint.

Posted by: Contagion at 07:02 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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It's German for Hot Dog.

Tonight I tried a Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse by Spaten-Brau in Munich, Germany. I've seen this beer around for a while, but I've never tried one. There was just something about it that made me a little apprehensive about sampling one. Half the fun of doing my weekly review is trying beers I wouldn't normally purchase. Since it was for my, and your, amusement I figured it wouldn't hurt.

There's something about the bottle that gave me the impression that this is a beer that has been sitting on the shelf since the 1930s. It's a brown bottle, with a gold foil seal around the cap. On a gold label there is a picture of a monk looking into a tankard. On the back it has directions on how to store and pour it. Interestingly you are to rinse a glass, fill it three quarters full, swirl, and pour the yeast. Since it comes in a 1 pint .9 fl oz bottle, you really do need to use the proper 26 ounce Weiss Glass.

While pouring a thick foamy head forms that doesn't seem to dissipate. It is very dense. There is minimal lacing on the glass. The coloring is that of straw with an orange tint. It is very cloudy. You can't make out the other side of the glass through it.

The first thing I noticed when I opened the bottle is that it had the scent of hot dogs. I'm not kidding, I called Ktreva into the room to smell it to make sure it wasn't just me. She confirmed that she thought the beer had a hot dog like aroma to it. After getting a couple of good whiffs I realized that it was a mixture of yeast and cloves that give it that hot dog like scent. The flavor has a subtle yeastiness to it, with a hint of clove. There is a hint of banana undertones to it. The after taste is mildly bitter with a hint of citrus.

The beer itself has a medium body. There is a moderate carbonation that gives it a little bight on the tongue. Towards the end of the beer there is a slightly grainy texture.

At first I thought I was going to hate this beer, but the more I drank it, the more it grew on me. I actually found myself rather pleased with it. It's easy to drink and as it warms it doesn't lose any flavor. I'm going to give it 6 out of 10.

Posted by: Contagion at 08:00 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Boddingtons Pub Ale

This week I decided to try a Boddingtons Pub Ale. Since I have never tried this beer before, I wasn't sure how it would drink. Mainly I picked it because it was on the shelf next to Guinness and Murphy's. Since Guinness and Murphy's are two of my favorite beers, I figured this couldn't be too bad.

It comes in a 1 pint yellow can with the name of the beer on it in black letters. There is a picture of a barrel that has two bees overlapped on it. On the back of the can there is a little history of the beer as well as a description of it. They also go into the superiority of the draughtflow system they use in the can. They also have directions on how to serve the beer. Guys, do you ever read the directions on how to serve a beer? Neither did I. Guess what, it's the same as any other beer that comes in a can with any Nitro-can. True beer drinkers don't need directions on how to pour a beer.

The beer pours a straw yellow/pale gold color. Light has no problem passing through. Upon first pouring it, the beer is mainly head, but it settles quickly. The head is a nice creamy white that settles like Guinness. There was minimal lacing on the side of the glass, but the last of head sticks around for a while.

Upon opening the can you can smell hops. There is also a slight grassy scent to it. It's not unappealing, just kind of surprising. The taste is of your Standard English Ale, malts and hops. There is a slight sweet taste to it. It's just enough to enhance the beer and not overpower it. There is a very slight aftertaste at the beginning, but as the beer warms it becomes more bitter and there is more of an aftertaste to it.

It has a light body to it. The texture is very smooth and creamy. It's probably one of the easiest beers to drink I've ever had. The pint glass disappeared in less then 10 minutes with a desire for a second. I can see walking into a pub and ordering a couple of pints of this while speaking with friends. Five hours later you've downed a good 10 pints and are still drinking the same beer. This is a good anytime beer.

It's not amazing, but it is slightly above average. I'm going to rate this a 6.

Posted by: Contagion at 06:22 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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